Escape Artists
PodCastle => Episode Comments => Topic started by: Ocicat on April 25, 2017, 07:00:36 PM
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PodCastle 467: How I Became Coruscating Queen Of All The Realms, Pierced The Obsidian Night, Destroyed A Legendary Sword, And Saved My Heart’s True Love (http://podcastle.org/2017/04/25/pc-467-coruscating-queen/)
by Baker and Dovey
read by Aimee Kuzenski
hosted by Graeme Dunlop
First published in No Sh!t There I Was….
Rated R for adult content
No shit, there I was, knee-deep in necromantic weasels in the lair of the mad wizard-king, when Korgar and Elutriel both decided it was time to win my affections once and for all. Elutriel had summoned an aura of resistance, an iridescent bubble free of weasels. He struggled forwards, heaving against the weight of their wasted furry bodies.
Elutriel had summoned an aura of resistance, an iridescent bubble free of weasels. He struggled forwards, heaving against the weight of their wasted furry bodies.
Click here (http://podcastle.org/story-texts/pc-467-how-i-became-coruscating-queen-of-all-the-realms-pierced-the-obsidian-night-destroyed-a-legendary-sword-and-saved-my-hearts-true-love-by-baker-dovey/) to continue reading.
(http://podcastle.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Author-Baker-Dovey-150x150.jpg)
Baker & Dovey is a gestalt entity which currently inhabits two human fools separated by the Atlantic ocean and several thousand miles of dirt. When not authoring ludicrous parodies of childhood imaginings, the entity lives in the pauses between words, in the spaces between heartbeats, in the rats between the walls. UNESCO has not responded to e-mails asking whether Baker & Dovey is a global cultural asset or a sign of humanity’s inevitable return to the muck whence it came.
(http://podcastle.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Aimee-Kuzenski-Narrator-150x150.jpg)
Aimee Kuzenski writes and narrates fiction. She went to school for both acting and electrical engineering and has trained in Filipino Martial Arts for the past eight years. She currently lives in Minneapolis, MN with a hairless cat named Beatrice.
You can find her online at www.akuzenski.com (http://www.akuzenski.com) and on Twitter @aimeekuzenski.
(http://escapepod.org/wp-images/podcast-mini4.gif) Listen to this week’s PodCastle! (http://media.rawvoice.com/podcastle/media.libsyn.com/media/podcastle/PC467_HowIBecame.mp3)
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I'm feeling a little cheated. Yeah, she did those other things, but becoming Coruscating Queen Of All The Realms is something for another story, apparently.
Otherwise, I had a big grin on my face throughout this story. The protagonist being a sort of big attitude, no nonsense, get things done despite the shortcomings of the companions kind of hero was something I found highly amusing.
Also, seemed to be competing for longest title with the ever classic, "How I Mounted Goldie (ETC)" (EP 169), except the protagonist of that story actually did all the things in the title.
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It doesn't get much more fun than this. Excellent story, excellent reading.
This gestalt entity is...well, I encourage it. Whatever the hell it may be.
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I really had a good time with this story. I found myself continually thinking, This is totally something that could happen in my gaming group. Obviously, this writer was catering to my people. :-)
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Definitely felt like I was in a tabletop game, so hilarious. Definitely left me wanting for her ascendency to queenhood and relationship with her true love.
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Oh, this story was just pure fun. I loved it.
Didn't see that twist ending coming, either.
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I'm feeling a little cheated. Yeah, she did those other things, but becoming Coruscating Queen Of All The Realms is something for another story, apparently.
...
Also, seemed to be competing for longest title with the ever classic, "How I Mounted Goldie (ETC)" (EP 169), except the protagonist of that story actually did all the things in the title.
Came here to say basically this.
This was a lot of fun and left me craving more epic fantasy, satire or otherwise.