Escape Artists

PodCastle => Episode Comments => Topic started by: Ocicat on September 24, 2020, 08:28:55 PM

Title: PC645: God Damn, How Real Is This?
Post by: Ocicat on September 24, 2020, 08:28:55 PM
PodCastle 645: God Damn, How Real Is This? (

Author: Doretta Lau (
Narrator: Andrea Bang (
Host: Jen R. Albert (
Audio Producer: Peter Behravesh (

Originally published in How Does a Single Blade of Grass Thank the Sun? Published by Nightwood Editions in 2014, audiobook version of this produced by ECW Press.


Content Warning:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Show Notes
Thanks to Nightwood Editions for allowing us to reprint the text of this story and to ECW Press for allowing us to run an excerpt from the collection’s audiobook; this audiobook was produced as a part of ECW Press’s Bespeak Audio Imprint. You can purchase the print version of this book here and the audiobook here.

My future self sends me a text message at least once a day.

The latest: Hey, tricho-slut, get your man hands out of our hair. I have a Lake Michigan–shaped bald spot forming on the back of my head. stop plucking. it’s starting to look like a penis.

Last I checked there were no Great Lakes of any sort blooming on my scalp, no Superiors or Hurons or Eries flooding my hair. Of late, these missives from the future have become increasingly more abusive. I wonder, when will I flip my bitch switch and hop on this negative self-talk train? In a week? In a year? I’d like to believe this use of misogynistic language is out of character and that maybe I’m being trolled by a bored identity thief. I file the thought as something for my present self to discuss with my now therapist.

Another message flashes on my phone: That mole on your left arm that you’ve been ignoring? Get thee to a doctor.

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