Escape Artists

Escape Pod => Episode Comments => Topic started by: Russell Nash on October 18, 2008, 02:08:42 PM

Title: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Russell Nash on October 18, 2008, 02:08:42 PM
EP180: Navy Brat (http://escapepod.org/2008/10/17/ep180-navy-brat/)

By Kay Kenyon (http://www.kaykenyon.com/).
Read by Dani Cutler (of Truth Seekers (http://audioaddict.libsyn.com/)).
First appeared in Space Cadets (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0963309919/escapepod-20), ed. Mike Resnick, as “Tall Enough For Navy”.

She pushed off when her turn came, floating into the huge hold where she had to keep her line from tangling with other lines and stay alert for the seniors whose job it was to kill you—with their dye guns. In the Well, as throughout the ship, patches of enlivened hulls showed the view of near space through remote sensing. Here in the Well it was disorienting. Marie went into a tumble, then controlled it with a spray from her back pack. Through her enhanced visor, she could see her own team, spread out, their suits clear to her, but not to the seniors. A few of her team wore blue arm bands, not regulation, but overlooked more and more these days. Blue for the Admiral, blue for veneration—blue for sucking up to the brass.

Rated PG. It’s YA military SF. Does contain some lewd conduct.


(http://escapepod.org/wp-images/podcast-mini4.gif)
Listen to this week’s Escape Pod! (http://media.rawvoice.com/escapepod/media.libsyn.com/media/escapepod/EP180_NavyBrat.mp3)
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: alllie on October 18, 2008, 05:13:59 PM
Like Steve said, far too believable.

I remember when I didn’t know that the powerful use religion to maintain and grow power and to keep the masses docile. This story is a nice illustration of how it’s done. Blue ribbons. Flag pins. Conformity. Obedience.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Zathras on October 18, 2008, 06:29:23 PM
I didn't personally care for this one.  It was a good episode, just not my style.

It felt like a cross between Nancy Drew and Warhammer 40,000.  A perky, intrepid and nonconformative teenage girl solves a centuries old mystery and changes society, with worship of a long dead military leader thrown in.  I wonder if Emma Roberts would be available for the movie?

I would share this one with my 7 year old daughter minus the cop a feel scene.  I know this is for young adults, and not children, so that is a moot point.

Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: thomasowenm on October 18, 2008, 10:25:03 PM
I mostly liked it, for a y/a story.   I am puzzled though why the author would assume that 9000 plus people would suddenly give up their atheistic heritage and convert to admiralism. 
I understand that governments have utilized religions since the dawn of creation to maintain control.  But a civilization that as a precept decided against religions to apparently turn religious I do not get.  ???   

With that aside the story was read fairly well.  Good job Dani.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Darwinist on October 18, 2008, 10:52:56 PM
I liked it......a very good y/a sci-fi yarn I would say.

It made me think of others in history that didn't wear the blue arm band and were looked down upon like Galileo and Darwin.  And when my religious family members ask me why I don't go to church like everyone else.   I think Sagan sums it up perfectly in the quote in my signature.   
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Fredosphere on October 18, 2008, 11:40:37 PM
I like space opera.  I liked this character.  I liked the premise, the writing, the mystery.  Sadly, this was one of the least satisfying Escape Pod stories I've heard.  It simply resolved way too soon for my taste.  I would have been much happier if we were allowed to spend a little more time finding out about these people.  The mystery was solved almost before we knew there was one.

Having said that, I'm glad you ran with something unlike the usual EP fare.  Thanks for that.

Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Peter Tupper on October 19, 2008, 01:20:22 AM
Where's the rest of the story? Not to sound too Syd Field, but there's no second act. There's also way too much plot summary narration. The story has enough plot and setting for a novel, but way too much is skimmed over.

I know that this is supposed to be a YA story, but there's no reason to talk down to the reader.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Talia on October 19, 2008, 04:37:37 AM
Why were the officers let completely off the hook for murdering their "beloved" Admiral? I mean I'm assuming that part of the tale wasn't made "public" but why not?

It was a fun story, I did like it, but man, plot holes
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Zathras on October 19, 2008, 01:29:16 PM
Why were the officers let completely off the hook for murdering their "beloved" Admiral? I mean I'm assuming that part of the tale wasn't made "public" but why not?

It was a fun story, I did like it, but man, plot holes

The Admiral died 350 years ago.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: sburnap on October 19, 2008, 11:20:35 PM
I found this just way to simplistic.  The plot seemed really contrived and the characters barely anything but names.  Honestly, this seemed to have the worst bits of both young adult and military SF without the charms either can have when done right.

There was no sense of menace at all, so it was hard to feel any tension about the main characters, and the ending was the old cliched "send the damning information to the population" pulled completely out of the blue at the last minute.

Though I have to be honest and say that I inwardly grown whenever I hear something referred to as "young adult".  It seems that every time I turn around there's some new "young adult" thing being foisted on me.  Unfortunately, "young adult" too often means the sort of contrived plots and moral black and whites that would have had me tossing the book in the trash when I was an actual teenager. 

Not that all Y/A stories are bad.  The two "Squonk the Dragon" stories were wonderful.  But I don't think "young adult" is an excuse for simplistic plots and dues ex machina endings.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Talia on October 20, 2008, 01:12:34 AM
Why were the officers let completely off the hook for murdering their "beloved" Admiral? I mean I'm assuming that part of the tale wasn't made "public" but why not?

It was a fun story, I did like it, but man, plot holes

The Admiral died 350 years ago.


Oh. I completely missed that somewhere along the way. Heh.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Zathras on October 20, 2008, 03:10:34 AM
Why were the officers let completely off the hook for murdering their "beloved" Admiral? I mean I'm assuming that part of the tale wasn't made "public" but why not?

It was a fun story, I did like it, but man, plot holes

The Admiral died 350 years ago.


Oh. I completely missed that somewhere along the way. Heh.

It was in the opening scene, when they were in formation.  She mentions it in the narration when they turn to "honor".  It was at a point that it doesn't surprise me it slipped by.

Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Windup on October 20, 2008, 04:28:43 AM

Yeah, YA generally doesn't work that well for me, and this one didn't, either.  In this case,  bit too pat, a bit too predictable, and I've seen those characters in a very similar situation just a few too many times before...
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: 600south on October 20, 2008, 04:34:41 AM
i agree with the others, this was a bit too shallow a story to be called "Young Adult" -- i think most young adults/teenagers i know could handle plot and characters far more complex than these ones. Other than the boob-brushing scene i thought it would've made a nice kids' book... with lots of color pictures.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Boggled Coriander on October 20, 2008, 06:18:32 AM
Maybe I missed something, but it seemed like an improbably easy matter for Marie to find out the truth about the Admiral and his death after the information had been lost (or a secret) for 350 years.  Was Marie really the first person to wander into the Admiral's quarters?  In 350 years?

By the way, did the plot remind anyone else of aspects of Wall-E?
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: ryos on October 20, 2008, 08:30:43 AM
Unlike Steve, I did not find this story particularly plausible. Ok, sure, the group who was in power did some nasty things to stay in power; that's standard fare. It's the rest that has me shaking my head.

So, we're at war with an alien race. I know! Let's go colonize their worlds! And instead of an invading force, we'll send a generation ship full of colonists. Brilliant!

Then, when they get there, it turns out their enemies had posted a "trespassers will be shot" sign in that region of space and, true to form, started shooting. But! They would fail to destroy the vigilant colonists, despite the fact that the ship had been parked in orbit for 300 years, cut off from reinforcements and resupply, while the Mutts had the resources of an entire world at their disposal.

Back on the Centauri, the group in power has somehow managed to maintain that power despite gross incompetence. I mean, they left their figurehead, the Admiral, who was opposed to their plans, in control of the master switch that would ruin everything. Miraculously, the impotent admiral would fail to flip the switch, instead leaving an elaborate trail of breadcrumbs for an enterprising protagonist to uncover so that SHE could flip the switch. Naturally, they would not destroy said evidence, or even bother to lock the door that contained it. For 300 years, that door actually remained shut, with no safeguards in place to keep some bored teenager from breaking in on a dare (to say nothing of disgruntled ex-navy).

And the Mutts! If we could only talk to them, I'm sure they'd understand! We'd suddenly become enlightened and start calling them by their politically correct name. The conversation will go something like this:
Mutts: We hate you. This is our world, and if you don't go away we'll kill you.
Us: Actually, we just wanted to live here. Pretty please?
Mutts: Ok.

Shall I go on? This story gave us a weak plot, weak characters, and weak ideas, taking potshots at religion along the way. So lame.

Despite what I just wrote, I didn't hate this story. It just didn't give me much to like.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: wintermute on October 20, 2008, 12:09:59 PM
When it was revealed that the Mutts were really called the Cree (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cree), I thought there was going to be a parallel drawn with the European colonisation of America. And then nothing happened with that.

And I was a little confused that no-one ever noticed that they were in orbit; presumably everyone who worked on navigation or propulsion was in on the conspiracy, and never told their friends or family that it was all a lie; ditto for anyone who needed to go outside to repair damage from Mutt attacks; for that matter, anyone who actually needed to shoot at Mutts would probably have found it hard not to notice the planet...

I figure that everyone on the ship knew, really, and they were just keeping it secret from the title character for a joke...
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Rain on October 20, 2008, 07:49:54 PM
It was an ok story but it was basicly just fluff, it was very simplistic and has no real meat on it
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: ryos on October 20, 2008, 08:18:41 PM
By the way, did the plot remind anyone else of aspects of Wall-E?

Besides the fact that they both featured a generation ship? No, not particularly.

(BTW, Wall•E gets a pass from me on its plot and science holes because it has many other redeeming qualities. This story, unfortunately, does not.)
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Boggled Coriander on October 20, 2008, 10:17:49 PM
By the way, did the plot remind anyone else of aspects of Wall-E?

Besides the fact that they both featured a generation ship? No, not particularly.

(BTW, Wall•E gets a pass from me on its plot and science holes because it has many other redeeming qualities. This story, unfortunately, does not.)
I was thinking along the lines of the inhabitants of the generation ship being kept misinformed and placid for centuries by Authority and proponents of the Status Quo. 
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Thaurismunths on October 21, 2008, 01:47:50 AM
I never read young adult fiction when I was a young adult, so I can't comment on if it is too simplistic for youths, but as an adult-ish adult I enjoyed it.

My biggest gripe about it has nothing to do with the story really. Having recently read Ender's Game, I couldn't help but see Ender bouncing around the battle room in the opening scene.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Hatton on October 21, 2008, 02:40:43 AM
I thought the story resolved too quickly - Steve, I think the idea of Giants for EP might be worth considering.

As for the strange Cult of the Dead Admiral (hey, that might make a good group name some time) forming within an atheistic society, it doesn't really strike me as odd.  The original group of officers that killed the Admiral and made him seem like a saint probably set down a strict code of silence that over three and a half centuries developed a sense of wonder and awe. 

To be sure, they're not going to say the Admiral created the world, the generation ship or the program that hid the truth from the passengers and crew.  However, that doesn't mean that they can't make him some kind of mysterious figure.  Over the years his image would have been changed from leader to guiding light.

I will argue that this does not remind me of Wall-E!  Sure, the ship's AI kept them moving forward, however the crew, and humanity at large, were pretty much oblivious to any goal and put their trust in the computers.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Windup on October 21, 2008, 03:43:17 AM

As for the strange Cult of the Dead Admiral (hey, that might make a good group name some time) forming within an atheistic society, it doesn't really strike me as odd.  The original group of officers that killed the Admiral and made him seem like a saint probably set down a strict code of silence that over three and a half centuries developed a sense of wonder and awe. 


It might not even take that long.  I read somewhere that Mao is undergoing that sort of transformation in China -- starting to crop up in iconography in ways usually reserved for an ancestor or household god of some sort. (No, I can't find a link right now...)
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Void Munashii on October 21, 2008, 11:21:25 AM
  I found this to be an enjoyable story, but it did feel a bit rushed, like it wanted to be something bigger and deeper than it was. The jump over the negotiations in particular felt very rushed. It was still a fun, if a slightly creepy, story.

  I was kind of expecting the Mutts to be fakes as well; I mean if people were having conflicts with them outside of the ship, wouldn't someone eventually notices the planet below them? That big blue green thing there that the Mutt ships keep coming from?

  I've noticed some questions about why the Mutts were so willing (after negotiation lasting the better part of an Earth year) to let the humans settle on their planet. My guess is that it was the humans who had been the main aggressors in the first place, and the Mutt had just responded in kind.

  The only thing I found particularly unbelievable in this story was the idea that thousands of humans would ever be willing to put aside their religions for something so small as mere survival, especially given how many people have used religion as an excuse to kill other people to begin with. Religion fills a void in people, and if there is that void, a religion will appear with its own object of worship, be it a magic rock, an admiral, a flag, or an invisible pink unicorn.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Listener on October 21, 2008, 12:28:02 PM
A perky, intrepid and nonconformative teenage girl solves a centuries old mystery and changes society, with worship of a long dead military leader thrown in. 

A perfect summary.

I didn't like the story. The plot seemed like a thinly-veiled attempt to make a comment on patriotism and the creation of a religion. The reading was also subpar compared to Dani Cutler's usual great portrayal of characters like this.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: wintermute on October 21, 2008, 12:29:44 PM
Aha! I knew there was something else bugging me!

Their destination was "the Alpha Centauri cluster". Let us assume that they meant triple star system of Alpha Centauri A, B and C, which is our next-door neighbour, at a little over 4 light years away. They left Earth 400 years ago, giving a minimum speed of 1% of the speed of light, possibly as high as 10% of the speed of light, if they arrived 350 years ago (I don't remember, but that's the number people are throwing around). These speeds are high but not unreasonable, so I'm inclined to believe that they are at the closest star to Sol.

So where did the other aliens they'd encountered come from? Neptune is four light-hours out, and would have been passed very soon after take-off, and after that, you just have a handful of dirty snowballs, only a few of which are large enough to be noticeable. Is life so common that, even in the Oort Cloud we can find societies advanced enough (or perhaps individuals powerful enough) to be worth defending against?

Also, had they really been fighting Mutts for 350 years (assuming that's when they arrived in orbit) without noticing that their ships didn't seem to be capable of interstellar travel? Didn't anyone think it was odd that they controlled such a huge swathe of space, some 30 or 40 light years across? Didn't any ever try and reverse engineer the Mutt's FTL drives?
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Listener on October 21, 2008, 12:31:07 PM
So, we're at war with an alien race. I know! Let's go colonize their worlds! And instead of an invading force, we'll send a generation ship full of colonists. Brilliant!

Then, when they get there, it turns out their enemies had posted a "trespassers will be shot" sign in that region of space and, true to form, started shooting. But! They would fail to destroy the vigilant colonists, despite the fact that the ship had been parked in orbit for 300 years, cut off from reinforcements and resupply, while the Mutts had the resources of an entire world at their disposal.

I don't think we were at war with an alien race when the generation ships left. Did I miss that part?

I think the reason the Mutts were so mad is because this ship has been hanging out in orbit for 350 years, not doing anything. The Mutts probably said "o hai, you can haz hailing freq? o? u do not want? then i zaps u with mah lazors!"

I figure the Mutts, once the people who wanted to transition explained the whole thing, said "our bad, u can haz dis continent. but no blowing r stuf up pleez!"
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: stePH on October 21, 2008, 01:10:17 PM
I think the reason the Mutts were so mad is because this ship has been hanging out in orbit for 350 years, not doing anything. The Mutts probably said "o hai, you can haz hailing freq? o? u do not want? then i zaps u with mah lazors!"

I figure the Mutts, once the people who wanted to transition explained the whole thing, said "our bad, u can haz dis continent. but no blowing r stuf up pleez!"

 :D FTW!
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Zathras on October 21, 2008, 02:28:05 PM
This will probably need to split off...

What is young adult fiction, anyway?  I think it should be just as well written, but with a different focus. 

I think this story fits more in the gap between children and young adult.  (Minus the hazing scene)

Heinlein's Y/A works are a prime example of what I think Y/A is. 

From wikipedia:

"The novels that Heinlein wrote for a young audience are commonly referred to as "the Heinlein juveniles", and they feature a mixture of adolescent and adult themes. Many of the issues that he takes on in these books have to do with the kinds of problems that adolescents experience. His protagonists are usually very intelligent teenagers who have to make their way in the adult society they see around them. On the surface, they are simple tales of adventure, achievement, and dealing with stupid teachers and jealous peers. However, Heinlein was a vocal proponent of the notion that juvenile readers were far more sophisticated and able to handle complex or difficult themes than most people realized. Thus even his juvenile stories often had a maturity to them that made them readable for adults. Red Planet, for example, portrays some very subversive themes, including a revolution in which young students are involved; his editor demanded substantial changes in this book's discussion of topics such as the use of weapons by children and the misidentified gender of the Martian character. Heinlein was always aware of the editorial limitations put in place by the editors of his novels and stories, and while he observed those restrictions on the surface, was often successful in introducing ideas not often seen in other authors' juvenile SF."
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Anarkey on October 21, 2008, 03:16:46 PM
This will probably need to split off...

What is young adult fiction, anyway?  I think it should be just as well written, but with a different focus. 

YA is a designation given to fiction intended for 12-18 year-olds.  Books such as LeGuin's Earthsea trilogy, the Harry Potter books or The Golden Compass in the speculative genre, frex, or Catcher in the Rye, Go Ask Alice, and A Separate Peace in the vanilla lit world.  Thematically, there's lots of overlap between YA and bildungsroman, though not all bildungsroman are YA, of course.  YA books usually have teen protagonists, and generally deal with teen issues such as sexual maturation, forming an identity, and loss of innocence. 

Other examples: Larbalestier's Magic Or Madness, Westerfield's Peeps, Lowry's The Giver, the elsewhere discussed Twilight series.  I read barrels of YA, and generally, have very little respect for YA that lacks subtlety and nuance, or talks down to its intended audience.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: ryos on October 21, 2008, 07:22:46 PM
So, we're at war with an alien race. I know! Let's go colonize their worlds! And instead of an invading force, we'll send a generation ship full of colonists. Brilliant!

Then, when they get there, it turns out their enemies had posted a "trespassers will be shot" sign in that region of space and, true to form, started shooting. But! They would fail to destroy the vigilant colonists, despite the fact that the ship had been parked in orbit for 300 years, cut off from reinforcements and resupply, while the Mutts had the resources of an entire world at their disposal.

I don't think we were at war with an alien race when the generation ships left. Did I miss that part?

I think the reason the Mutts were so mad is because this ship has been hanging out in orbit for 350 years, not doing anything. The Mutts probably said "o hai, you can haz hailing freq? o? u do not want? then i zaps u with mah lazors!"

I figure the Mutts, once the people who wanted to transition explained the whole thing, said "our bad, u can haz dis continent. but no blowing r stuf up pleez!"

Heh. "U brotz us teh catz, u in big trubbl nao!"

Ok, I just re-listened to the beginning, and it turns out you're right and I fail at listening comprehension. It seems likely the Mutts arrived recently to the planet, finding a silent and mysterious hulking Human generation ship in orbit. I can imagine their first forays were more exploratory than offensive, but when they were repulsed by military force, they decided the ship was a threat that needed to be eliminated.

That would explain why the reconciliation was so easy and the Mutts were so willing to share. It doesn't explain the rest of the flaws, but at least it's not quite as idiotic as I once thought.

On a tangent, I find that, if there's some important piece of exposition near the beginning of an audio fiction podcast, I often miss it or get it wrong. I must still be recalibrating the ol' sensor banks to work in this strange new world.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: wintermute on October 21, 2008, 07:41:37 PM
Ok, I just re-listened to the beginning, and it turns out you're right and I fail at listening comprehension. It seems likely the Mutts arrived recently to the planet, finding a silent and mysterious hulking Human generation ship in orbit. I can imagine their first forays were more exploratory than offensive, but when they were repulsed by military force, they decided the ship was a threat that needed to be eliminated.
That sounds right. I think I'd prefer it if they were native to the system, but this way answers more questions.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Cerebrilith on October 21, 2008, 11:04:04 PM
I agree that the plot had holes and would likely have been better if it was longer and better fleshed out, despite all that I enjoyed this one.  It was harmless and fun.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: JoeFitz on October 22, 2008, 12:50:07 AM
My biggest gripe about it has nothing to do with the story really. Having recently read Ender's Game, I couldn't help but see Ender bouncing around the battle room in the opening scene.

My immediate reaction, too. Complete with a precocious protagonist better at the game than the seniors, who must belittle and humiliate the upstart. Mutts seemed similar to the Buggers. They turned out to be enemies but just first contact issues coupled mutual paranoia?

I did like the echoes of Starship Troopers - the protagonist being more Navy than the Navy itself.

Overall, however, it wasn't so bad. I was disappointed with the sudden appearance of the video, even more than the unencrypted terminal of the Admiral which was inside a "seal" but obviously not locked door. Come to think of it, Ender hacked into the tablet PCs in that novel, too. Still okay.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Nobilis on October 22, 2008, 04:50:25 AM
I really didn't like how easily the secrets came.  It stank of Deus ex Machina.  Realistically, wouldn't the Officers have gone over it with a fine-toothed comb before they made it accessible to the public, much less a disgraced ex-cadet?

Snapped my suspenders.  I give it a raspberry out of ten.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: wintermute on October 22, 2008, 11:48:23 AM
Realistically, wouldn't the Officers have gone over it with a fine-toothed comb before they made it accessible to the public, much less a disgraced ex-cadet?
Had the officers had any say in the matter, I'm sure you're right.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Zathras on October 22, 2008, 01:02:20 PM
I really didn't like how easily the secrets came.  It stank of Deus ex Machina.  Realistically, wouldn't the Officers have gone over it with a fine-toothed comb before they made it accessible to the public, much less a disgraced ex-cadet?

Snapped my suspenders.  I give it a raspberry out of ten.

Maybe it was time locked?

Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: DKT on October 22, 2008, 04:02:05 PM
Why were the officers let completely off the hook for murdering their "beloved" Admiral? I mean I'm assuming that part of the tale wasn't made "public" but why not?

It was a fun story, I did like it, but man, plot holes

The Admiral died 350 years ago.


Oh. I completely missed that somewhere along the way. Heh.

Boy, you weren't the only one.  I completely missed that.

I did also think of Ender's Game during the opening. 
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: DKT on October 22, 2008, 04:09:19 PM
This will probably need to split off...

What is young adult fiction, anyway?  I think it should be just as well written, but with a different focus. 

I think this story fits more in the gap between children and young adult.  (Minus the hazing scene)

It's a very hard genre to pin down in my opinion.  It can be as incredibly dark and mature as adult fiction (see Holly Black's excellent Valiant (http://www.amazon.com/Valiant-Modern-Faerie-Holly-Black/dp/0689868235/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1224691657&sr=1-1)).  Honestly, I think "Arties Aren't Stupid" was great YA.  I think a lot of times it reflects coming of age themes, or at least self-realization.  But then again, maybe "self-realization" is too broad -- much adult fiction centers around it. 

Sometimes I think anything that revolves around a young protagonist is considered YA.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: SFFNut314159265 on October 22, 2008, 04:18:08 PM
At first I started out not liking this story at all... it was too "The Secret Life of an American Teenager" and didn't seem like it was going anywhere.  In the end I found that it ended up being an Okay piece, if slightly too simplified.   

I must admit I was quite surprised that Kay Kenyon wrote this, having read the first book of her Entire and Rose Trilogy... it just didnt seem like her style at all..

Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: eytanz on October 22, 2008, 07:36:25 PM
If we started complaining that there are not enough giant mutant insect stories, and not enough stories in blank verse, would Steve's response to the first giant mutant insect story written in blank verse be a "yes", regardless of the quality of the story?

There is good military SF, and there is good YA SF. This story was neither. Others before me have already explained why, so I won't belabor the point, but I would like to think that quality should be the first criteria, not whether a story ticks off some boxes on a list.

Edit: Ok, I think I was a mite cranky when I wrote the above - obviously, Steve's intro doesn't mean that he didn't take quality into account. But that doesn't mean I like the story...
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Zathras on October 24, 2008, 04:56:06 AM
So, I listened to this one again.

I was in the Army.  I can guarantee you that no officer is going to call a cadet forward in the middle of a change of command ceremony.  He's gonna have their hide after the ceremony is over.

What is the average life span of the colonists?  I am assuming around 100 years, but it's never brought up.  I'm guessing that none of the mutinous officers were still alive.

How is it possible that the ship was parked in orbit for 350 years? 

As many have already pointed out, there are plot holes big enough to drive my truck through.  The first time I listened to this, I tried to be as open as possible.  I didn't like it, but thought that it might have just been a matter of taste.  The more I think about it, the more I believe that it is a good story, but it needs a little more meat on its bones.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: contra on October 24, 2008, 11:00:56 AM
I liked this story.

As for the plot holes people are seeing; we don't know anything about how the ship works, so don't know if there is a pilot, it could just be on an auto course as far as everyone knows.  To maintain an orbit there has to be something in control; a computer could easily do that; as well as not need to be updated en route.  The computer will tell you if there is anything wrong... OK, the journey time changing from 50 to hundreds of years is a bit of a hole, and the resources needed for a 50 year trip, and a 400+ one are different by a wide margin, and theres then a question of what everyone is doing on the ship if noone looks outside of pilots it... or there are flaws in it...
but I think they work.



I think the higher ups may have already known about the conspiracy, however anyone else was just playing along with the crowd.  For getting new people into the conspriacy after it happened, it would become a right of passage, and would make new officers once they get to a set level feel like they are above everyone, and understand more than they do.  At that point they would be brainwashed enough to be killing to go with anything, including a religion to take everyone over once it got big enough....
(Don't make a comment about Scientology.
Don't make a comment about Scientology.
Don't make a comment about cults.)
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Father Beast on October 24, 2008, 05:16:34 PM
Ok, there's good and there's bad.

The Good: it was very readable. I identified a bit with the protagonist. And it seems very reasonable that people who supposedly reject religion turn their rejection into a religion itself. It's kind of like how it's hard to find a real Honest-To-God atheist (pun intended), and their POV is generally not passed on to their children, should there be any.

The Bad: Plot holes you can drive a massive hulking generation ship through. What kind of idiots must the Powers That Be that run the ship be? They leave the ship in orbit and hope nobody looks out the window. They leave the Admirals quarters unlocked and unguarded, with a cool recording waiting for anyone who stumbles in. And What kind of Morons are the passengers, for never violating these things in 300 Years.

Still, it was kind of fun to listen to.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: contra on October 24, 2008, 06:30:06 PM
The ship may not have any windows. 
The Battlestar Galactica has almost none IIRC; due to its armour.

Not using shields for your main defence means you rely on physical armour on your ship... this means no windows in a spaceship...

Instead they have they projections... that lie to them...

As for noone voilating the quarters for 300 years... that does seem silly... but it could happen if people held it in such high respect as they seemed like they did.  And they may have been previous; they were just dealt with, or wanted to fit in. 
For all we know there was a truth subculture based on rumour, and that is why it was accepted so quickly after the truth was revealed... But very few went in previously due to fear...
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: wintermute on October 24, 2008, 06:47:55 PM
The ship may not have any windows. 
The Battlestar Galactica has almost none IIRC; due to its armour.

Not using shields for your main defence means you rely on physical armour on your ship... this means no windows in a spaceship...

Instead they have they projections... that lie to them...
True, it's reasonable to assume no windows. Hoerver, anyone who's working on propulsion or navigation, or who needs to spacewalk to repair combat damage, or who points a gun at a Mutt ship, ir any of a dozen other groups of people is going to see what's really out there. I have a hard time believing that this is such a tiny, easily controlled number of people that the secret can be held for more than about a week, before someone gets drunk and tells their husband the big secret...
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: DadOfTwins on October 25, 2008, 03:12:00 AM
Liked it but the whole story could of been told in about three minutes with about as much character development and background info.  It was a good thing to listen to while cleaning the house though.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Raving_Lunatic on October 25, 2008, 11:57:26 AM
Nope. Sorry. This didn't get me much. I have to give it a solid meh for an interseting premise but not fleshed out- seemed like a first draft for some reason.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Loz on October 27, 2008, 08:13:47 PM
A bad story badly read, was Dani Cutler reading this at a gallop because she had somewhere else to be?
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Roney on October 27, 2008, 09:05:32 PM
Young Adult Military Science Fiction?  (Or YAMilSF, as it would appear to be.)  "No" would be my first, second and third answer.  Still, variety is part of the fun of the podcast and I tried to get into a frame of mind to enjoy it.  Epic fail on my part.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: lieffeil on October 31, 2008, 02:41:20 AM
With this one, Steve's description actually threw me off. When he said it was "YAMiLSF" (is that what we're calling it? That's the kind of acronym that creates physical anguish as you say it.), I was intrigued. But as soon as the protagonist gave her reasoning for not wearing the navy armbands, there was this rush of wistfulness. I suddenly wished the story had started some time earlier, so that this character would not feel so distant, just suddenly the Rebel, with no history or detail.

The reader was told what she felt, what she thought, what she did, but there was very little communication directly from Marie herself. In fact, just now I had to look up her name before I wrote that, because I forgot what it was . I just stopped seeing her as a person.

Which... wait. There was that one line, about how to join the military, you had to give up some of yourself to become part of something bigger.
And suddenly this story got ten times more interesting to me.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Windup on October 31, 2008, 04:37:07 AM
With this one, Steve's description actually threw me off. When he said it was "YAMiLSF" (is that what we're calling it? That's the kind of acronym that creates physical anguish as you say it.), I was intrigued. But as soon as the protagonist gave her reasoning for not wearing the navy armbands, there was this rush of wistfulness. I suddenly wished the story had started some time earlier, so that this character would not feel so distant, just suddenly the Rebel, with no history or detail.

The reader was told what she felt, what she thought, what she did, but there was very little communication directly from Marie herself. In fact, just now I had to look up her name before I wrote that, because I forgot what it was . I just stopped seeing her as a person.

Which... wait. There was that one line, about how to join the military, you had to give up some of yourself to become part of something bigger.
And suddenly this story got ten times more interesting to me.


I think it's a convention of the genre, and probably one of the reasons it generally doesn't work for me.  A recent episode of the Writing Excuses (http://www.writingexcuses.com/) podcast that dealt with YA/Juvenile/Children's books said that one of the "markers" for boundaries in fiction for young people is the self-awareness of the characters.  In children's books, stuff just happens, or for very superficial reasons.  Books for older children get a bit more internal dialog, and YA a bit more, but still not what you would expect from an adult novel.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: sjg1978 on October 31, 2008, 02:02:37 PM
I am puzzled though why the author would assume that 9000 plus people would suddenly give up their atheistic heritage and convert to admiralism. 
I understand that governments have utilized religions since the dawn of creation to maintain control.  But a civilization that as a precept decided against religions to apparently turn religious I do not get.  ???   

I don't think that the 9,000 people suddenly turned to their religious admiralism. I think it was a change brought about over the last 350 years so gradually that nobody really noticed it.

Societies tend to want to maintain the status quo. So over time this ship had separated into two peacefully coexisting societies. One that was preparing to colonize a new world, and one that was preparing to travel across space forever. But our travelers have always thought that they were colonizers, and just didn't realize it. Now that they are presented a choice they decide they'd rather chase after their god than to settle down.

As far as the computer being up and ready for the right person to hit the "reveal the truth" button, that seems entirely plausible to me. From what I've seen of today's home computers, just turn it on and you're automatically logged in and ready to go after minutes. As far as more secure computers go, I've seen too many post-its with passwords.

If you can teach your children enough respect, they won't go breaking into the admiral's quarters. Even on a dare, because that's something that their friends wouldn't dare them to. And with the amount of respect that built up for the admiral, among the colonizers, and the god-like devotion among the travelers, it's plausible that they would all leave his office alone.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: McToad on November 12, 2008, 03:10:18 AM
This one didn't do it for me, primarily because it wasn't a story so much as an idea for a story. 

I found the central conceit interesting, the character somewhat appealing (though terribly flat), but the story isn't a story--its the first chapter of a book, and a summary of the denouement of that book.  The interesting conflict and adventure is omitted.  Worse, the plot's entire resolution hinges on an off-screen deus-ex-machina that is artificially slipped in.  I mean, do we really believe that there is a recording that plays when you enter an unlocked, easily identified room, and that in hundreds of years no one has ever see it?  Or that on ship of 9000 people, no one ever looks outside, or goes outside, or looks at any instrumentation or sensors that might reveal the planet they are orbiting?

It just seems silly and trite.

On the plus side, the core idea is good and as a first contact novel I would read this and probably like it, but as a short story this just doesn't work.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Unblinking on June 24, 2010, 04:28:46 PM
Come to think of it, Ender hacked into the tablet PCs in that novel, too. Still okay.

That made sense in the context of Ender's Game.  Ender realizes that the tablet's are actually designed to be hackable by smarter children.  That's another way for the people in charge to see who is more capable.  Ender was the first to figure it out, and it was one of the ways that set him apart early on.
Title: Re: EP180: Navy Brat
Post by: Unblinking on June 24, 2010, 04:44:43 PM
I liked many of the ideas in this story.  While I tend to snore at military SF, I didn't have a problem with that aspect of it.  I loved the concept of the Admiral changing from man to unofficial deity over the course of several centuries.  While I found it rather implausible that they've just been hanging out in orbit for centuries, it was a cool idea anyway.

What really bothered me is the ease with which she discovered the truth of the Admiral, and that no one else had gone in there for 350 years.  That ruined the entire story for me.  I could believe it of most adults if they're raised to the religion, but this is a generation ship, so by definition you're going to have people of a variety of ages all the time, including many generations of teens.  Many teens are going to have the urge to rebel against their parents teachings to define their individuality.  This is generally true, but I would think it's even more true when you're all forced to live in a tin can together with nowhere else to go, and are forced to wear uniforms and go through drills which are intended to homogenize the population.  One of these teens is bound to go try the door at some point over the centuries timespan.  All it would take is one.  What makes her special?  her beliefs are different from the general population but I hardly think that implies that she is the only one to think the way she does that has ever lived on this ship--I find it seriously hard to believe.  Even if no one else had really been curious about the door, I'm certain that some pair of horny teens would've slipped in there to find some privacy at the very least--what better place to make out than the one room which is unlocked but completely taboo to all the adults.

They didn't post guards by the door.  They didn't have video surveillance at the door.  They didn't lock the door.  They didn't even bother to turn the holo-recording of the Admiral explaining his identity off, for goodness sake!  Worst implementation of a conspiracy ever!!!

It also bugged me how fast the negotiations were glossed over at the end, but that was just a little bump in the style, not a complete plausibility hole.