Escape Artists
PodCastle => Episode Comments => Topic started by: Ocicat on December 21, 2010, 05:57:00 PM
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PodCastle 136: The Christmas Mummy (http://podcastle.org/2010/12/21/podcastle-136-the-christmas-mummy/)
by Heather Shaw (http://heathershaw.org/) & Tim Pratt (http://www.timpratt.org/).
Read by Rish Outfield (http://rishoutfield.blogspot.com/) of the Dunesteef Audio Fiction Magazine (http://dunesteef.com/).
Originally published in A Christmas Chapbook.
Trish led Nate from the room, into the hall — their parents’ door was
closed — and onto the stairs. She could hear someone moving down
there. Trish crept down the carpeted steps. The only light in the
living room came from the bright Christmas tree. Even the yule log in
the fireplace had burned down.
Two men, dressed in black pajamas with their faces covered, were tying
a big red ribbon around a crate that was bigger than the couch.
“Ninjas?” Trish whispered to her brother.
“Christmas ninjas,” Nate said.
One of the ninjas pulled up his mask a little and ate one of the
cookies they’d left for Santa. He drank the milk, too, leaving a white
mustache on his ninja mask when he pulled it back down over his mouth.
Rated G
Happy holidays to all of you from all of us at PodCastle!
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Greg van Eekhout did artwork for the chapbook version of this story, which Heather and I sent out as a Christmas card. You can see it here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/IN19tJsfaqiZRINuJCLBGA?
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Greg van Eekhout did artwork for the chapbook version of this story, which Heather and I sent out as a Christmas card. You can see it here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/IN19tJsfaqiZRINuJCLBGA?
That was quick. Quick like a ninja celebrating a midwinter festival.
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This was just right for Christmas! Thank you, Podcastle! And, you know, Tim Pratt and Heather Shaw. :)
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I laughed out loud several times listening to this story. It was outrageously silly and delightful.
I really enjoyed Rish's reading, too - definitely added to the story.
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What an adorable, Squonk-esque little story.
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Loved it. I listened to this alone in the office on my last day of work before vacation. At the line, "Dr. Moriarty prayed to something called 'the strong anthropic principle,'" I snorted hot chocolate through my nose! Thanks for the holiday treat.
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What a wonderful story and fantastic reading! I totally want this to become the next best Christmas movie too!!! Can you imagine that? Complete with action figures of Christmas Ninja elves with milk moustaches ;D
Thank you Heather Shaw, Tim Pratt and PodCastle! And Happy Everything to Everyone!
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'Hey, aren't you a ninja?'
'No, I'm a christmas tree, move along.'
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://heroclixin.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/ninjahedge.jpg&imgrefurl=http://heroclixin.wordpress.com/2009/12/07/ninja-hedge/&h=619&w=945&sz=673&tbnid=MchZOhC1CypybM:&tbnh=97&tbnw=148&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dninja%2Bhedge%2Bimage&zoom=1&q=ninja+hedge+image&hl=en&usg=__5Gcls5A9QT1YTiMIEVSyg8T7Nnc=&sa=X&ei=nEETTZuDOIX7lweXwqy2DA&sqi=2&ved=0CBsQ9QEwAQ
(sorry, couldn't find a shorter link that worked)
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Plus, on a related note:
http://www.worldwidefred.com/ninjabreadmen.htm
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I loved this story! I also think Rish really outdid himself, particularly when it came to Uncle Ray and Dr. Moriarty.
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Loved it!
Fantastic christmas story. Funny, well written exciting and with something for people of all ages; the perfect children's story! I laughed out loud a couple of times, which garnered some odd looks.
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Both Son the Younger and I loved this one, but that was a foregone conclusion from the moment Christmas ninja elves were mentioned in the intro.
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That was a silly little story that made me laugh aloud a few times.
And the reading was outstanding. We should hear more of Rish.
I particularly liked how the antagonist's (does he qualify as an antagonist?) names were all recognizable as evil, villainous men.
I have read and enjoyed some of Tim Pratt's other works, and this was right up there with the rest of them. It's nice to see consistent high quality stories.
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This was loads of fun, and I like the idea of sending out a story with Christmas letters (making note to consider doing that next year). Twas neat to see the combined efforts of Tim and Heather together. This story was just chock full of silly fun, from Moriarty's names to the true meaning of Christmas. I had to look up "strong anthropic principal" afterward, but even though I didn't know what it meant it was still funny to pray to a scientific principle.
Fun!
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And I forgot to say--great reading as well, particularly of Dr. Moriarty.
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I loved this. Hysterical. I nearly crashed the car when I heard "Dr. Hitler Moriarty" the first time. Priceless.
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I enjoyed the story more for the genre-aware references it made than anything else, and for the reading.
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Loads of fun, and overall a good reading, though I have to admit the kids' voices (Nate in particular) rubbed me the wrong way, and sometimes Mom as well. I think it was a matter of the higher pitch, and Nate lisping. Moriarty's voice, on the other hand, was fantastic.
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Actually, I kinda liked Nate's lisping, it added just the right of amount of annoying childhood over the top
too cute for its own good charm to the story. The father's constant complaining and references to "Irish" coffee were a bit
overused in my opinion, but I guess it's something I'd do too if this kinda thing happened every Christmas. I did like
the villain showing up for Christmas morning bit, it was totally unexpected and so much fun. Listening to supposed super criminal
types try to explain themselves to children never gets old. Great story Tim and Heather!
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Win! Wonderful! It took a little bit for me to warm to it but Rish's outstanding reading really helped it along. It can be hard to make the ridiculous or whimsical work but Tim and Heather sure pulled it off. Great stuff, just great!
Edit: Forgot to say, great quote at the end there. Not a fan of the quote generally, but that one was particularly good.
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I've had one of those 'most of the presents didn't arrive thanks to the weather' and 'family struck by illness' Christmases. This has really helped cheer me up.
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This has really helped cheer me up.
...hope you mean the story cheered you up
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Best. Christmas Story. Ever.
I think this one even beats out Mur's steampunk Christmas story from last year.
"I wish you'd use one of the others, I was really drunk when I came up with that one."
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'Hey, aren't you a ninja?'
'No, I'm a christmas tree, move along.'
(sorry, couldn't find a shorter link that worked)
Dude, TinyURL is your friend!
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Humorous. I got a few chuckles out of it. Personally, I didn't think it was as good as the past Murr stories for Christmas.
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Personally, I didn't think it was as good as the past Murr stories for Christmas.
Actually, Podcastle has never really run a Christmas story before! It's Escape Pod that had the tradition of Mur written Christmas yarns... Of course, now that Mur is the editor of EP, I don't think she'll be buying any Christmas stories from herself. So maybe she'll submit one to Podcastle next year...
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This story could have been read by Ben Stein and still been entertaining. However, the great voice work of Rish was the extra kick the story needed to turn normal coffee into the hilarious Irish coffee that the dad loved so much.
Fantastic work to all, and thanks to the PodCastle team for bringing this story to us.
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Listened to this one again just last night, this time with my wife. Pure pleasure! And it was wonderful to share it with someone.
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Pure lighthearted joy. As J. T. Evans said above, this story didn't need a great reading to be entertaining, but it got a great reading, which just made it much more delightful.
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Personally, I didn't think it was as good as the past Murr stories for Christmas.
Actually, Podcastle has never really run a Christmas story before! It's Escape Pod that had the tradition of Mur written Christmas yarns... Of course, now that Mur is the editor of EP, I don't think she'll be buying any Christmas stories from herself. So maybe she'll submit one to Podcastle next year...
I believe I remember someone suggesting that EP run Steve Eley Christmas stories every year, since Mur was now the editor...
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I believe I remember someone suggesting that EP run Steve Eley Christmas stories every year, since Mur was now the editor...
I may be wrong, but I don't believe Steve Eley is writing fiction these days.
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I believe I remember someone suggesting that EP run Steve Eley Christmas stories every year, since Mur was now the editor...
I may be wrong, but I don't believe Steve Eley is writing fiction these days.
Be that as it may, it would be a nice role reversal.
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I really appreciate the compliments about my narration. Maybe the lisp was a little annoying, but it's what I chose to do so the kids wouldn't sound alike.
I'm used to the full-cast type of readings, so when faced with the challenge of voicing several characters at once, I tried to determine how each would speak, and make them sound identifiably different from one another.
I'm my own harshest critic, however, so I hope I get another chance to read a story, to see if I can fix the flaws I picked up on when I listened to it.
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I really appreciate the compliments about my narration. Maybe the lisp was a little annoying, but it's what I chose to do so the kids wouldn't sound alike.
I'm used to the full-cast type of readings, so when faced with the challenge of voicing several characters at once, I tried to determine how each would speak, and make them sound identifiably different from one another.
I'm my own harshest critic, however, so I hope I get another chance to read a story, to see if I can fix the flaws I picked up on when I listened to it.
I've got to tell you, Rish (and not just because you did an excellent job with my The Invisible Kingdom on the Dunesteef *cough* shameless self promotion *cough*), but I always enjoy your narration. You have a remarkably flexible voice and you do wonderful things with it on a regular basis. Not only do you regularly produce a brilliant full cast audio fiction podcast, stories narrated by you alone sound almost exactly like full cast themselves. You're really good.
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I really appreciate the compliments about my narration. Maybe the lisp was a little annoying, but it's what I chose to do so the kids wouldn't sound alike.
I'm used to the full-cast type of readings, so when faced with the challenge of voicing several characters at once, I tried to determine how each would speak, and make them sound identifiably different from one another.
I'm my own harshest critic, however, so I hope I get another chance to read a story, to see if I can fix the flaws I picked up on when I listened to it.
I've got to tell you, Rish (and not just because you did an excellent job with my The Invisible Kingdom on the Dunesteef *cough* shameless self promotion *cough*), but I always enjoy your narration. You have a remarkably flexible voice and you do wonderful things with it on a regular basis. Not only do you regularly produce a brilliant full cast audio fiction podcast, stories narrated by you alone sound almost exactly like full cast themselves. You're really good.
Indeed. While I didn't like the lisp in this particular situation, in general I think Rish is one of the best narrators/voice actors around, particularly in terms of flexibility and variety.
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I really appreciate the compliments about my narration. Maybe the lisp was a little annoying, but it's what I chose to do so the kids wouldn't sound alike.
I'm used to the full-cast type of readings, so when faced with the challenge of voicing several characters at once, I tried to determine how each would speak, and make them sound identifiably different from one another.
I'm my own harshest critic, however, so I hope I get another chance to read a story, to see if I can fix the flaws I picked up on when I listened to it.
I've got to tell you, Rish (and not just because you did an excellent job with my The Invisible Kingdom on the Dunesteef *cough* shameless self promotion *cough*), but I always enjoy your narration. You have a remarkably flexible voice and you do wonderful things with it on a regular basis. Not only do you regularly produce a brilliant full cast audio fiction podcast, stories narrated by you alone sound almost exactly like full cast themselves. You're really good.
Indeed. While I didn't like the lisp in this particular situation, in general I think Rish is one of the best narrators/voice actors around, particularly in terms of flexibility and variety.
Here. Here.
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I really appreciate the compliments about my narration. Maybe the lisp was a little annoying, but it's what I chose to do so the kids wouldn't sound alike.
I'm used to the full-cast type of readings, so when faced with the challenge of voicing several characters at once, I tried to determine how each would speak, and make them sound identifiably different from one another.
I'm my own harshest critic, however, so I hope I get another chance to read a story, to see if I can fix the flaws I picked up on when I listened to it.
I'm actually a little jealous of your versatility! It ain't easy for one person to get character differentiation in a story like that -- you made it sound easy. Masterfully done!
Also... I keep hearing of this "Dunesteef" thing. Maybe I should check it out...
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I really appreciate the compliments about my narration. Maybe the lisp was a little annoying, but it's what I chose to do so the kids wouldn't sound alike.
I'm used to the full-cast type of readings, so when faced with the challenge of voicing several characters at once, I tried to determine how each would speak, and make them sound identifiably different from one another.
I'm my own harshest critic, however, so I hope I get another chance to read a story, to see if I can fix the flaws I picked up on when I listened to it.
I'm actually a little jealous of your versatility! It ain't easy for one person to get character differentiation in a story like that -- you made it sound easy. Masterfully done!
Also... I keep hearing of this "Dunesteef" thing. Maybe I should check it out...
The most recent two stories are super-awesome!!!!!11eleven
(Note: One is mine and one is my buddy ElectricPaladin's, in case people weren't paying attention. Mark's is pretty rad, though.)
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I really appreciate the compliments about my narration. Maybe the lisp was a little annoying, but it's what I chose to do so the kids wouldn't sound alike.
I'm used to the full-cast type of readings, so when faced with the challenge of voicing several characters at once, I tried to determine how each would speak, and make them sound identifiably different from one another.
I'm my own harshest critic, however, so I hope I get another chance to read a story, to see if I can fix the flaws I picked up on when I listened to it.
I'm actually a little jealous of your versatility! It ain't easy for one person to get character differentiation in a story like that -- you made it sound easy. Masterfully done!
Also... I keep hearing of this "Dunesteef" thing. Maybe I should check it out...
The most recent two stories are super-awesome!!!!!11eleven
(Note: One is mine and one is my buddy ElectricPaladin's, in case people weren't paying attention. Mark's is pretty rad, though.)
Nah. Mine's ok, but Nathan's is much better.
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Yours is shorter. People have limited attention spans.
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Also... I keep hearing of this "Dunesteef" thing. Maybe I should check it out...
You should. It's a lot of fun. I also liked the recent two by Scattercat and Electric Pallidin. Another favorite was Tattletale by Christopher Fisher (http://dunesteef.com/2010/10/13/episode-84-tattletale-by-christopher-fisher/).
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Here. Here.
Where? Where?
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Here. Here.
Where? Where?
Hear, hear.
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Here. Here.
Where? Where?
Hear, hear.
That's what I was getting at. It sets my teeth on edge when people get it wrong.
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Here. Here.
Where? Where?
Hear, hear.
That's what I was getting at. It sets my teeth on edge when people get it wrong.
Me too. I was cheering you. :)
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Here. Here.
Where? Where?
Hear, hear.
That's what I was getting at. It sets my teeth on edge when people get it wrong.
Me too. I was cheering you. :)
Hier, hier.
(Just thought I'd add an equally incorrect German flavor to the mix)
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Here. Here.
Where? Where?
Hear, hear.
That's what I was getting at. It sets my teeth on edge when people get it wrong.
Me too. I was cheering you. :)
Hier, hier.
(Just thought I'd add an equally incorrect German flavor to the mix)
Shema, Podcastle...
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Here. Here.
Where? Where?
Hear, hear.
That's what I was getting at. It sets my teeth on edge when people get it wrong.
Me too. I was cheering you. :)
I stand corrected. Thank you sirs. :)
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I stand corrected. Thank you sirs. :)
Just don't say "case and point" or "for all intensive purposes", or we will be fighting. :P
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I stand corrected. Thank you sirs. :)
Just don't say "case and point" or "for all intensive purposes", or we will be fighting. :P
"all intensive purposes" still sounds more correct to me because "intents and purposes" just sounds redundant. So I just don't say either.
Another "correct" expression that annoys me is "You've got another think coming", which I had always thought was "You've got another thing coming". The former bugs me because "think" is normally a verb not a noun. Yes, the latter is needlessly vague with "thing" but I just figured it was intended to be a nebulous threat that doesn't mean anything specific, like "or else".
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I stand corrected. Thank you sirs. :)
Just don't say "case and point" or "for all intensive purposes", or we will be fighting. :P
How about I throw in an "irregardless"? That's the one that grinds on my nerves.
(last subject derail I promise...today)
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Shema, Podcastle...
???
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Shema, Podcastle...
???
Jewish humor. "Shema" is Hebrew for "Listen" or "Hear." "Shema Yisrael" - "Listen up, Israel" - is the beginning of an iconic Jewish prayer.
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Jewish humor. "Shema" is Hebrew for "Listen" or "Hear." "Shema Yisrael" - "Listen up, Israel" - is the beginning of an iconic Jewish prayer.
Ah, okay. I did try look it up, but didn't see a translation, just a description, or I might've figured it out.
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It's a cute story and funny. That fact that people are "fighting" over a Christmas story about ninjas and a mummy, makes me laugh about the story even more. It REALLY is the gift that keeps on giving!
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This was loads of fun, and I like the idea of sending out a story with Christmas letters (making note to consider doing that next year).
For further inspiration, you might check out Tolkien's "Father Christmas Letters". Tolkien wrote letters as Father Christmas to his children filling them in on the adventures over the prior year. His children later assembled them and published them. The stories and illustrations are pretty delightful, moreso if you're a Tolkien fan.