Escape Artists

Escape Pod => Episode Comments => Topic started by: Jim on July 19, 2007, 12:16:22 PM

Title: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Jim on July 19, 2007, 12:16:22 PM
EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush (http://escapepod.org/2007/07/19/ep115-conversations-with-and-about-my-electric-toothbrush/)

By Derek Zumsteg (http://www.zumsteg.net/).
Read by Jared Axelrod (of The Department of Public Word (http://www.publicwords.org/)s).

“I read an interesting forum post last night,” my electric toothbrush told me over its low burr.

“Thiff ouff thew be thood,” I said through my mouth of foam.

“It was!” he replied. “Using readily available components, Monkeymonkey turned his Intellibrush into a milk frother.”

I spit into the sink and set my toothbrush in its white ceramic charger. “What would I do with a milk frother?”

“Make cappucinos,” my toothbrush said, with a hint of resignation, as I rinsed and spit again.

“I don’t drink cappucinos,” I said.

“You could start!”


Rated G. Contains a very mild reference to vibrating appliances.


Referenced Sites:
U.S.S. Mariner (http://www.ussmariner.com/)
Senses Five Press (http://www.sensesfive.com/)


(http://escapepod.org/wp-images/podcast-mini4.gif)
Listen to this week’s Escape Pod! (http://media.escapepod.org/EP115_Conversations.mp3)
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Jim on July 19, 2007, 12:26:17 PM
Cute story, reminds me of the talking toaster from Red Dwarf. Actually it reminds me a LOT of the talking toaster from Red Dwarf. In fact, all I could think while listening to it was, this is the talking toaster from Red Dwarf, only it's a toothbrush instead of a toaster. Then when it came to the part where it escaped to find its destiny, I thought, this is just like the "smart shoes" that Lister tells Rimmer about his friend Olaf Petersen buying. Red Dwarf again.

But I still liked the story, because I enjoyed the talking toaster gag on Red Dwarf.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: lhoward on July 19, 2007, 01:03:42 PM
That was a very fun and enjoyable story. I know a story is truly funny if it can make me laugh … out loud … in public ... and this one did.

I’ve spent some time in the past wondering about what it will be like when mundane appliances have ludicrous amounts of processing power, or AI. They usually end up something like this story, but never as entertaining.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: VBurn on July 19, 2007, 01:06:25 PM
I really enjoyed this story, but I still am not going to trust those electronic tooth burshes.  However, I could use an intelligent milk frother because I am terrible at using the stupid manual one I have.  I was reminded of the camera in Terry Pratchett's The Colour of Magic.  I love the ideal of smart device with an independent streak.  That would also explain How Lonesome a Life without Nerve Gas  http://escapepod.org/2007/01/25/ep090-how-lonesome-a-life/  (http://escapepod.org/2007/01/25/ep090-how-lonesome-a-life/) being one of my all time favorite EP episodes. 
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Leon Kensington on July 19, 2007, 06:47:14 PM
I want that toothbrush!
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: lhoward on July 19, 2007, 11:05:00 PM
Steve was right, Escape Pod can't froth milk:

(http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1037/854185895_0c02b0bb15.jpg) (http://www.flickr.com/photos/leshoward/854185895/)
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: SFEley on July 20, 2007, 12:51:38 AM
Steve was right, Escape Pod can't froth milk:

You, sir, just made my day.  Thank you.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Bdoomed on July 20, 2007, 02:55:28 AM
Steve was right, Escape Pod can't froth milk:

You, sir, just made my day.  Thank you.
mine too! :P

Question, Steve were you recording in a bathroom or something? im so used to awesome sound quality, this one kinda threw me off.  im not sayin its terrible or anythin, but its diff, and not in the cool way. tinny i would say...

anyways, this story was highly entertaining.  If the toothbrush was that smart, id hate to see what the floss could do! *pictures top news story: "Man hangs himself with floss" but we know what really happened!* ...dont sleep tonight
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: SFEley on July 20, 2007, 03:55:36 AM
Question, Steve were you recording in a bathroom or something? im so used to awesome sound quality, this one kinda threw me off.  im not sayin its terrible or anythin, but its diff, and not in the cool way. tinny i would say...

I didn't record this story.  Jared did.  There was a bit of clipping at loud points in the dialogue -- but overall the reading was good enough I didn't ask for a retake.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Lambda on July 20, 2007, 05:15:27 AM
I liked this story. It makes a good parallel to last week's anti-tech story.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: eytanz on July 20, 2007, 10:09:54 AM
A delightful story - I really enjoyed it. Not much else to say.

Oh, and lhoward - great picture :)
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: VBurn on July 20, 2007, 12:27:24 PM
I think the i-Phone has a frother function somewhere.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Zathras on July 20, 2007, 01:43:07 PM
 I also enjoyed the story, a fun listen on my ride in to work.  I don't know if I would've so readily welcomed back the toothbrush/frother, though.  All that whining would have got on my nerves.  Well, I guess a guy could have sold it on EBay. 

Also loved lhoward's picture, but wonder how he keeps from losing the little black deals on the IPod earphones. 
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Mr. Tweedy on July 20, 2007, 03:20:31 PM
The highest of possible praise: My wife liked it.  (She's picky.)
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: DKT on July 20, 2007, 04:20:41 PM
This story was absolutely fantastic.  It just got better and better and the bit about vibrating made me laugh out loud listening to this harder than any other story on Escape Pod has.  Brilliant story, touching and hilarious, and Jared Axelrod's narration is evidence of why he's becoming one of my favorite readers on EP (and Pseudopod).  I hope we hear lots more from both the writer and the reader.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: lhoward on July 20, 2007, 05:36:03 PM
Steve was right, Escape Pod can't froth milk:

You, sir, just made my day.  Thank you.

I am glad you like it.  I've received so much entertainment of out of Escape Pod, it is about time I sent some the other way.

.... now does anyone know how to get half-and-half out of an iPod?  ;)
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Etherius on July 20, 2007, 07:52:56 PM
Very, very silly, but I enjoyed it a lot. If appliances ever get that smart, I think I may have to walk around with a Taser for peace of mind. Arthur Weasley's advice seems appropriate here:

Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain.

...though if the toothbrush really wanted to help him pick up girls, I would have thought that an attachment other than the milk frother would be in order. That definitely wouldn't have been a G-rated story, though.  :D
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Roney on July 20, 2007, 09:12:08 PM
I think that if I'd read this story on the page I'd have been quite "meh" about it, but Jared's reading really sold it to me.  It sounded like a cross between the Red Dwarf Talkie Toaster (as Jim mentioned) and Ed Norton's narration in Fight Club.  Is there any story that such a hybrid couldn't make funny?
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: ClintMemo on July 20, 2007, 11:43:11 PM
Hilarious! 
Jarod's reading was great.

My LOL moment:
"You don't own me!"
"I DO own you!"


...yes, officer, I know I ran a red light, but this EP story is really funny.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Bdoomed on July 21, 2007, 04:15:36 AM
Question, Steve were you recording in a bathroom or something? im so used to awesome sound quality, this one kinda threw me off.  im not sayin its terrible or anythin, but its diff, and not in the cool way. tinny i would say...

I didn't record this story.  Jared did.  There was a bit of clipping at loud points in the dialogue -- but overall the reading was good enough I didn't ask for a retake.

:P i meant the intro and outro that im sure you DID record (else it was a GREAT impersonator!)
hmm, having listened to the episode again on my Zune this time (not my computer), and it seems that it was my speakers wacking out on me.  The episode as a whole was incredibly 'tinny', but not on my Zune... so my bad Steve, or... should i say, my speakers' bad!

Hilarious! 
Jarod's reading was great.

My LOL moment:
"You don't own me!"
"I DO own you!"
:D seconded!

i also loved
"there's all kinds of things i could do in this arena!"
"like what?"
"im a HANDHELD APPLIANCE THAT VIBRATES! Do i have to draw you a picture?"
 ;D
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Leon Kensington on July 21, 2007, 06:04:36 AM
This had to be the funniest episode post 100, if not ever.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Reggie on July 21, 2007, 10:13:06 PM
I think that the author should patent the idea of an inteli-brush, for when Apple tries to release the iBrush.

He'll make millions....

 ;D

(love the story)
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: oddpod on July 21, 2007, 11:21:02 PM
i love this one,
it also gives me a mild case of the he-be-ge-bes.  i saw an add last month for a microprocessor controlled toothbrush and i am left wondering if such thing serve any purpose other than to get people to buy them.

or maby i am just a bit of a ludite :)
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Alasdair5000 on July 22, 2007, 01:19:51 PM
   I really liked this especially the jovial, slightly too happy tone of the toothbrush:)  Favourite line:

'I don't drink capuccinos.'
'You could START!'

Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: DanK on July 23, 2007, 03:33:18 AM
I laughed a lot hearing this.  The story itself was funny, but the reading made it positively hilarious.

Also, the Escape Pod Milk Frother picture is now a permanent resident of my hard drive.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: wherethewild on July 23, 2007, 10:48:18 AM
Cute.

Not much more I want to add.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: VBurn on July 23, 2007, 01:50:31 PM
I think I will hold out for the iBrush shuffle because I doubt I will ever read the display screen while it burshes my teeth.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Leon Kensington on July 23, 2007, 03:07:48 PM
Just don't get the windows version, nobody likes the blue teeth of death.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Biscuit on July 23, 2007, 09:39:11 PM
Cute, light and frothy...err Fluffy.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: coyote247 on July 23, 2007, 09:52:40 PM
As funny as this story was, it does bring up some interesting implications, one of the marks of good "traditional" scifi. It's almost like a comedic retelling of the classic AI gone mad scenario. Humans make a machine smarter and smarter so it can anticipate it's masters needs- until it anticipates their masters need for something, even if they can't get the master to admit to needing it. Only in this case instead of the mother brain computer at US Robotics, it's a little electric toothbrush with more pizzaz than it's stick-in-the-mud owner.

That or it's an adorable "little toaster" story. I'm not sure I can tell the difference anymore.

Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: chornbe on July 24, 2007, 02:29:35 AM
Maybe it was the whiny, nasally voice. Maybe the too-scripted-feeling narration. I dunno... it just didn't pop for me.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Monty Grue on July 24, 2007, 04:00:26 PM
Cute story, reminds me of the talking toaster from Red Dwarf.

Yeah, I was really reminded of the talking toaster too.lso  Part of it was in the story and part was in the reading.  Overall, a funny story, and very enjoyable.

I'm also gadget geek.  I've got the same Casio watch as Steve and maybe even the same rice cooker.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: swdragoon on July 25, 2007, 04:38:38 AM
I loved it.
my mom couldn't stop laffing
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: FNH on July 25, 2007, 02:29:17 PM
One word review : Yawn
Two word review : Not much
Three word review : Not one spaceship
Four word review : No spaceshsips or aliens
Five word review : Not worth a longer review

To summarise : ...
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: wakela on July 25, 2007, 11:12:41 PM
This one didn't do it for me.  There are plenty of talking appliances in SF (Life Without Nerve Gas, Red Dwarf Toaster, various items in Hitchhiker's), and they are always overly enthusiastic, and the people who own them are always annoyed by this.  So I think the joke has been played.  I never watched Red Dwarf, but what's nice about Neve Gas and Hitchhikers is that the appliances think like appliances.  But the toothbrush in this story just thought like a hyper little person. 
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Dex on July 25, 2007, 11:26:47 PM
This one didn't do it for me.  There are plenty of talking appliances in SF (Life Without Nerve Gas, Red Dwarf Toaster, various items in Hitchhiker's), and they are always overly enthusiastic, and the people who own them are always annoyed by this.  So I think the joke has been played.  I never watched Red Dwarf, but what's nice about Neve Gas and Hitchhikers is that the appliances think like appliances.  But the toothbrush in this story just thought like a hyper little person. 

Good observations
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: coreyjf on July 25, 2007, 11:58:31 PM
I thought it was cool that my toothbrush has a timer.  It was a cute story but I can't see myself trading in my Flavia for hacked up toothbrush. 
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: BrandtPileggi on July 26, 2007, 12:59:39 AM
Notsomuch.

But man... Get a Sonicare. And don't use it for brushing teeth. I wholeheartedly second that.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Listener on July 26, 2007, 12:48:53 PM
I very much liked this story.  It was short, funny, and well-acted.  The SF element kind of took a backseat to the character interaction, but I didn't mind that because, despite the fact that the author doesn't really tell you a lot about them, you still know everything you need to know about both the dude and his toothbrush.

I was very pleased with the acting -- I think the reader got the saccharine-happiness of the toothbrush down pat, and did a good job with the owner, too.

The last line was nice, but not 100% unexpected.

I think, after a few weeks of heavy SF, we need stories like this, or even like Squonk (which I've said is not my cup of tea, though I can appreciate how good the story is).
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Michael on July 26, 2007, 01:13:01 PM
Put me on the pro side.  I thought the dialouge was great, good pacing, good use of humor.  It was also well read, so the jokes were properly delivered as well.  A neat little short story that adapted well to audio.

Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: goatkeeper on July 27, 2007, 01:26:36 AM
Great story and narration!! 

This story reminded me of the ongoing battle between Schick and Gillette for more and more razors...
New, Gillette-Ultra-Mach8-Power-XTreme Razor...now with 8 vibrating blades, 3 aloe strips and self awareness
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Thaurismunths on July 27, 2007, 11:28:14 AM
Hmmm... not very Sci-Fi.
I mean, if you replaced the tooth brush with an angsty teenager, made the young man into the teen's father, changed the toothbrush's desire to become a milk frother in to the teen's desire for gender reassignment, had the young man-turned father get romantically interested in someone he meets through his child, and instead of locking down the house network he changes all the house's locks, it's really just your typical saturday afternoon special. *yawn*

*lol* ok, just kidding.
Actually I really enjoyed this story. My girl and I listened to it on a road trip this past weekend and were laughing our butts off. This was a great find!
Thanks gang!
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: VBurn on July 27, 2007, 08:56:38 PM
You acctually made me laugh with that one Thaurismunths.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Thaurismunths on July 28, 2007, 07:50:15 PM
You acctually made me laugh with that one Thaurismunths.
Thanks V.
But after listening to this week's intro, I'm sure it looks like I'm just picking on Steve.
No offence anyone!
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: SFEley on July 29, 2007, 06:05:33 AM
But after listening to this week's intro, I'm sure it looks like I'm just picking on Steve.
No offence anyone!

'S cool.  'S funny.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Atara on July 29, 2007, 01:07:03 PM
This story was great. Funny, short, and the joke didn't seem overplayed. I guess I'm a big fan of the "sentient appliance" genre, since the Red Dwarf toaster cracks me up, too.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Djerrid on July 30, 2007, 03:28:56 AM
I DON'T WANT SPAM FROTHED MILK!!!
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Bdoomed on July 30, 2007, 04:04:31 AM
changed the toothbrush's desire to become a milk frother in to the teen's desire for gender reassignment
heh, i would go more with the South Park becoming a dolphin angle more than a sex change.  but ya made me laugh with that Thaurismunths!
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Thaurismunths on July 30, 2007, 02:58:18 PM
changed the toothbrush's desire to become a milk frother in to the teen's desire for gender reassignment
heh, i would go more with the South Park becoming a dolphin angle more than a sex change.  but ya made me laugh with that Thaurismunths!
Oooh... good call!
Maybe I could have gone for dolphin sex, and I could have tied it to Ishmael as well?
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Leon Kensington on July 30, 2007, 03:01:23 PM
Remember that one call from about EP30, were someone found a way to tie all of the ep's together in one huge universe.  I think it's time for another.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Homr Zodyssey on August 01, 2007, 01:56:35 PM
I've been listening to EP for several months now, but never visited the forums.  I liked this story so much that I felt the need to come here and say so. 

I know its already been said, but I felt the narration was the best part.  The annoyingly chipper little voice used for the toothbrush greatly enhanced the humor of the story.

A few weeks ago, I made the mistake of introducing a friend to EP by playing the most recent story (EP 113: Ishmael in Love) for him.  He was far from impressed and we actually turned it off before the story was over. 

Episodes like EP115 are the ones that I really enjoy sharing with friends, and I may even be able to change his mind about EP.  Keep bringing entertaining stuff like this, and I'll keep trying to spread the gospel about you.

Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: goatkeeper on August 01, 2007, 02:20:41 PM
Ishmail in Love is the kindof story that would have had me hooked me on Escapepod
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: ClintMemo on August 01, 2007, 03:51:17 PM
115 was the first story I've been able to get my wife to listen to.  She really liked it.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Russell Nash on August 03, 2007, 08:01:28 PM
Hmmm... not very Sci-Fi.
I mean, if you replaced the tooth brush with an angsty teenager, made the young man into the teen's father, changed the toothbrush's desire to become a milk frother in to the teen's desire for gender reassignment, had the young man-turned father get romantically interested in someone he meets through his child, and instead of locking down the house network he changes all the house's locks, it's really just your typical saturday afternoon special. *yawn*

::Reaches into jacket and removes his Colt .45 1911 Zombie Killer Special.  Places it to Thauris' head and says "bang"::

Haha just kidding.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Leon Kensington on August 04, 2007, 03:49:58 AM
*raises Dufflebag of Doom and Destruction*

You wanna try that again Nash, or should I call out the Sandworms?
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Thaurismunths on August 04, 2007, 11:27:56 AM
Hmmm... not very Sci-Fi.
I mean, if you replaced the tooth brush with an angsty teenager, made the young man into the teen's father, changed the toothbrush's desire to become a milk frother in to the teen's desire for gender reassignment, had the young man-turned father get romantically interested in someone he meets through his child, and instead of locking down the house network he changes all the house's locks, it's really just your typical saturday afternoon special. *yawn*
::Reaches into jacket and removes his Colt .45 1911 Zombie Killer Special.  Places it to Thauris' head and says "bang"::
Hey, don't get snippy just because your opinion of SF is wrong.
Maybe if you learned to make emphatic statements based purely on someone else's un-founded opinion and Fox News (but I repeat myself) you'd be a little more discriminating and wouldn't get so upset when someone whose opinion is more right than yours tells you that 'self-aware appliances, does not SF make.' (to paraphrase The Bard)
: )
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Russell Nash on August 04, 2007, 04:14:13 PM
Hmmm... not very Sci-Fi.
I mean, if you replaced the tooth brush with an angsty teenager, made the young man into the teen's father, changed the toothbrush's desire to become a milk frother in to the teen's desire for gender reassignment, had the young man-turned father get romantically interested in someone he meets through his child, and instead of locking down the house network he changes all the house's locks, it's really just your typical saturday afternoon special. *yawn*
::Reaches into jacket and removes his Colt .45 1911 Zombie Killer Special.  Places it to Thauris' head and says "bang"::
Hey, don't get snippy just because your opinion of SF is wrong.
Maybe if you learned to make emphatic statements based purely on someone else's un-founded opinion and Fox News (but I repeat myself) you'd be a little more discriminating and wouldn't get so upset when someone whose opinion is more right than yours tells you that 'self-aware appliances, does not SF make.' (to paraphrase The Bard)
: )

::Pulls Trigger::
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Thaurismunths on August 05, 2007, 04:58:53 AM
::Pulls Trigger::

::Goes directly to Zombie. Does not pass GO. Does not collect BRAAAIIINS!::
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Russell Nash on August 05, 2007, 01:40:49 PM
::Pulls Trigger::

::Goes directly to Zombie. Does not pass GO. Does not collect BRAAAIIINS!::

Damnit!!

::Ejects Zombie jacket bullet clip.  Replaces with hollow tip bullet clip.::

Of course if that had been Robot seeking bullets instead of Zombie bullets, this whole thread deviation would have been SF.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Thaurismunths on August 05, 2007, 07:25:22 PM
::Pulls Trigger::
::Goes directly to Zombie. Does not pass GO. Does not collect BRAAAIIINS!::
Damnit!!
::Ejects Zombie jacket bullet clip.  Replaces with hollow tip bullet clip.::
Of course if that had been Robot seeking bullets instead of Zombie bullets, this whole thread deviation would have been SF.
You'll want to think long and hard about your next move. Do you really want to make another mess for Bdoomed to mop up? uh..er, I meant: BRAAAAAAAIIINS!!!
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Russell Nash on August 05, 2007, 07:57:21 PM
::Pulls Trigger::
::Goes directly to Zombie. Does not pass GO. Does not collect BRAAAIIINS!::
Damnit!!
::Ejects Zombie jacket bullet clip.  Replaces with hollow tip bullet clip.::
Of course if that had been Robot seeking bullets instead of Zombie bullets, this whole thread deviation would have been SF.
You'll want to think long and hard about your next move. Do you really want to make another mess for Bdoomed to mop up? uh..er, I meant: BRAAAAAAAIIINS!!!

::Reaches for lighter fluid and matches.::

Bdoomed, get the broom and dustpan.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: wakela on August 05, 2007, 11:06:24 PM
::Pulls Trigger::

::Goes directly to Zombie. Does not pass GO. Does not collect BRAAAIIINS!::

Damnit!!

::Ejects Zombie jacket bullet clip.  Replaces with hollow tip bullet clip.::

Of course if that had been Robot seeking bullets instead of Zombie bullets, this whole thread deviation would have been SF.

C'mon Russell, they wouldn't have to be robot bullets.  Based on your definition of SF, all they would need is a smiley face painted on them and a little voice done by Gilbert Gottfried.  ;-)

::runs, dives behind bulletproof shielding by ZedProtect(tm): keeping the dead alive since year zero of the new era::
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Russell Nash on August 06, 2007, 06:51:54 AM
::Pulls Trigger::

::Goes directly to Zombie. Does not pass GO. Does not collect BRAAAIIINS!::

Damnit!!

::Ejects Zombie jacket bullet clip.  Replaces with hollow tip bullet clip.::

Of course if that had been Robot seeking bullets instead of Zombie bullets, this whole thread deviation would have been SF.

C'mon Russell, they wouldn't have to be robot bullets.  Based on your definition of SF, all they would need is a smiley face painted on them and a little voice done by Gilbert Gottfried.  ;-)

::runs, dives behind bulletproof shielding by ZedProtect(tm): keeping the dead alive since year zero of the new era::

If I had a gun full of those bullets, I'd shoot myself in the head.  That way I wouldn't have to listen to them.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Leon Kensington on August 06, 2007, 04:26:40 PM
::Pulls Trigger::

::Goes directly to Zombie. Does not pass GO. Does not collect BRAAAIIINS!::

Damnit!!

::Ejects Zombie jacket bullet clip.  Replaces with hollow tip bullet clip.::

Of course if that had been Robot seeking bullets instead of Zombie bullets, this whole thread deviation would have been SF.

C'mon Russell, they wouldn't have to be robot bullets.  Based on your definition of SF, all they would need is a smiley face painted on them and a little voice done by Gilbert Gottfried.  ;-)

::runs, dives behind bulletproof shielding by ZedProtect(tm): keeping the dead alive since year zero of the new era::

If I had a gun full of those bullets, I'd shoot myself in the head.  That way I wouldn't have to listen to them.

Dammit, why do I always have to clean up your messes?!?

*opens the BoDaD (Bag of Doom and Destruction) and releases 3 sandworms on the zombies*

Problem solved.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Thaurismunths on August 06, 2007, 05:14:21 PM
If I had a gun full of those bullets, I'd shoot myself in the head.  That way I wouldn't have to listen to them.
Dammit, why do I always have to clean up your messes?!?
*opens the BoDaD (Bag of Doom and Destruction) and releases 3 sandworms on the zombies*
Problem solved.
::Zombie Thaurismunths bites sandworms::
::3 Zombie Sandworms level Tokyo::

(losttopicsayswhat?)
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Russell Nash on August 06, 2007, 07:51:13 PM

(losttopicsayswhat?)

There was a topic?? 

.45 now only has hollow points.  Where was I?
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Leon Kensington on August 06, 2007, 10:17:59 PM
Zombie Sandworms in Tokyo.  Sounds like a new EP story.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: stephanieb on August 08, 2007, 12:46:14 AM
Okay...I'm going to comment about the actual story, if that's okay with the rest of you guys. Don't mind me, it's just my first time in the forums.

I read the title of this story and was excited, because I totally loved "How Lonesome a Life Without Nerve Gas." However, I didn't really like this story as much. I think it's because I sympathized with the narrator and not the toothbrush. Like the narrator, I don't drink cappuccinos or lattes or anything with frothed milk, and I found the the brush annoying, like a younger sibling who wants to be with you at all times, but he wants to play his games, not yours. I can appreciate the brush's desire to be used for something else besides toothbrushing, but I found his obsession with milk frothing, well, weird. I thought perhaps they could have compromised and found some other functionality that the brush wanted to be AND that the owner would want and use. But, even though I didn't like the brush's personality, I must admit that the characters were well developed, the story was well written, and there were some parts that made me laugh.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Planish on August 18, 2007, 12:21:22 PM
I had my doubts from reading the title, but it was an entertaining enough Pinocchio story.

Steve was right, Escape Pod can't froth milk:
Hook it up to an externally-powered subwoofer. We'll see then. ;D
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: robertmarkbram on August 28, 2007, 12:36:52 PM
I listened to this story with my step-daughter while driving to her choir practice.

My first reaction was to marvel at how geeky Jared Axelrod's voice is. My second reaction was to marvel at the tooth brush reaching levels of geekiness Jared Axelrod could only dream of. He must have given himself a whopping big wedgie to get his voice that squeaky!

Personally I am disappointed at the number of people not logging in as Doctor West (http://www.loc.gov/rr/scitech/mysteries/tooth.html) or Sonicare (http://www.sonicare.com/) and relating tales of their own transmogrification, moment of tooth, brush with fame; the story behind the inscription on that shiny plaque, a telling of their crowning achievement, passing down the family's legacy of oral history, all the way back to the time of the Tartars. Maybe they could relate the story of how they survived a lifetime of indentured service and won out in the end, not through the violence of a gum but by cleaning and filling the cavity in men's hearts through an amalgam of love and floss.

This is right up their with Squonk for making my step daughter and I laugh so joyously! Thank you Derek Zumsteg and Jared Axelrod. :)
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Chodon on August 28, 2007, 04:02:34 PM
Personally I am disappointed at the number of people not logging in as Doctor West (http://www.loc.gov/rr/scitech/mysteries/tooth.html) or Sonicare (http://www.sonicare.com/) and relating tales of their own transmogrification, moment of tooth, brush with fame; the story behind the inscription on that shiny plaque, a telling of their crowning achievement, passing down the family's legacy of oral history, all the way back to the time of the Tartars. Maybe they could relate the story of how they survived a lifetime of indentured service and won out in the end, not through the violence of a gum but by cleaning and filling the cavity in men's hearts through an amalgam of love and floss.

You just broke my pun-o-meter.  Crap.

(Hilarious though)
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Peter Tupper on September 09, 2007, 05:15:14 AM
A lovely story. This may be the most sympathetic and inspirational piece of dental equipment ever written.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Russell Nash on October 01, 2007, 07:13:19 AM
An item this week from News of the Weird (http://www.uexpress.com/newsoftheweird/):

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Oral-B's Triumph SmartGuide toothbrush, available in the United Kingdom for the equivalent of about $280, uses navigation technology to transmit the exact location of the toothbrush to a base unit so that the user can see which areas in his mouth the brush might have missed. The wireless LCD mouth display can be mounted on a mirror or held in the free hand. [Daily Telegraph (London), 8-31-07]

A small step on the way to making SF real.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: oddpod on October 01, 2007, 08:08:30 AM
http://www.shinyshiny.tv/2007/07/oralbs_triumph.html

run
run for youre life
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: VBurn on October 01, 2007, 12:42:56 PM
life turely does imitate art.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Loz on October 01, 2007, 06:43:08 PM
Use the floss Luke!
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: VBurn on October 02, 2007, 04:03:12 PM
I am ready for more smart bathroom fixtures, like a sink that knows I want hot water to wash with, cold water to drink/brush teeth, a self-propelled brush, a shower like one of the automatic car washes, a toliet that auto wipes and flushes.  If they could make something that drags me out of bed in the morning then does all this stuff while I am still asleep, all the better.  I don't want to have to think until I am merging on to the Interstate!
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: goatkeeper on October 04, 2007, 05:36:59 AM
haha!  Amen vburn, amen!
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Russell Nash on October 04, 2007, 07:07:24 AM
I am ready for more smart bathroom fixtures, like a sink that knows I want hot water to wash with, cold water to drink/brush teeth, a self-propelled brush, a shower like one of the automatic car washes, a toliet that auto wipes and flushes.  If they could make something that drags me out of bed in the morning then does all this stuff while I am still asleep, all the better.  I don't want to have to think until I am merging on to the Interstate!

And I thought I was extravagant, because I wanted a shower, where I could set the temperature and it wouldn't change while I was under the water.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Gaijin51 on October 16, 2007, 08:50:27 AM
This was probably my favorite episode so far (of those I had the time to to listen to).

Would be great to have an encore from Mr. Zumsteg.

The reading was really great too. A real home run.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: ConstantIrritant on January 22, 2008, 09:41:24 PM
Sorry to be late to the party, but I'm trying to catch up on a backlog of episodes.

So far, this is the only story I've kept after listening to it.  Very funny, well read, and just a blast. 

CI
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: DDog on January 23, 2008, 08:12:35 AM
I don't think I've commented on this one before, but I heard about EscapePod from Steve Eley doing shows with Minx on Poly Weekly, finally decided to check it out, and this was the first story I listened to. I was about to take my test to finally get my driver's license (turned out my dad's plates were expired so I had to reschedule) and I listened to this story in the waiting room. I laughed, a lot, and got hooked on EP right there.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Windup on January 25, 2008, 01:52:00 AM
I wasn't going to comment on this because it was so long past, but since it got bumped, I want to chime in. 

I thought this was one of the funniest SF stories I've ever heard or read.  Though I think my family thought I'd lost it, because I kept cracking up while cleaning the kitchen and listening to my iPod. (The iPod, by the way, would really rather be a toaster...)
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Russell Nash on January 25, 2008, 09:36:08 AM
I wasn't going to comment on this because it was so long past, but since it got bumped, I want to chime in. 

Folks,  If there is a thread (episode comments or otherwise) that you have something to add to, make your comment.  We don't have out of control traffic here, so we can deal with older threads popping back up.  What better place to have zombie threads than at EP?
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Chodon on January 25, 2008, 12:21:28 PM
What better place to have zombie threads than at EP?
Pseudopod.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Russell Nash on January 25, 2008, 02:05:20 PM
What better place to have zombie threads than at EP?
Pseudopod.

The Problem is that you put them there and then they start looking for brains and wander to the other sections.  If you just let them loose in the forums as a whole, it's far easier to keep them from leaving the site.  They have a tendancy to end up in the Gallimaufry section.  Plenty of good eating in there.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Tango Alpha Delta on March 16, 2008, 02:53:01 AM
I KAN HAZ BRAIIINZZ??

 :-X


As much fun as it was to finally get around to listening to the story (Jared was perfect for the part... he made the tooth frothing milk brusher sound, I dunno... like I would have expected!)  I think I had even more fun reading the comments.

But... don't mind me, I'm just wandering back through time...
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: birdless on March 20, 2008, 06:04:34 PM
I listened to this story before I joined the forums, and so I didn't resurrect this thread, either, but I'm glad someone did. I loved this story. I didn't have high hopes from the title. I need to listen to it again. I think this was the first EP I didn't delete from my iPod (but I'm not sure... it may have been Frankie the Spook that was the first keeper).
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Russell Nash on March 20, 2008, 06:58:01 PM
I listened to this story before I joined the forums, and so I didn't resurrect this thread, either, but I'm glad someone did. I loved this story. I didn't have high hopes from the title. I need to listen to it again. I think this was the first EP I didn't delete from my iPod (but I'm not sure... it may have been Frankie the Spook that was the first keeper).

Quick note on threadromancy:  I'm all for it.  I think if you have something to say about a story you should put it up.  If someone doesn't want to go back to an old story, they don't have to quick the link.  Also  in the other boards I would rather have an older thread resurrected than have a new thread on the same topic started.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: CGFxColONeill on March 20, 2008, 08:06:51 PM
this was an awesome story and one of the about 10 or so that I have kept after listening to it
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: birdless on March 20, 2008, 09:25:10 PM
I listened to this story before I joined the forums, and so I didn't resurrect this thread, either, but I'm glad someone did. I loved this story. I didn't have high hopes from the title. I need to listen to it again. I think this was the first EP I didn't delete from my iPod (but I'm not sure... it may have been Frankie the Spook that was the first keeper).

Quick note on threadromancy:  I'm all for it.  I think if you have something to say about a story you should put it up.  If someone doesn't want to go back to an old story, they don't have to quick the link.  Also  in the other boards I would rather have an older thread resurrected than have a new thread on the same topic started.
I know, But I figured it might annoy some of the long-timers. But I really do appreciate your attitude towards "threadromancy."  :)
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: jodymonster on March 21, 2008, 02:31:45 AM
I'm also glad this thread showed up.  For me this is a favorite, maybe because it was the first escape pod I heard that made me laugh out loud ("I do own you!").  Great story, great reading.  I would love more similar stories. 
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Bdoomed on March 21, 2008, 05:09:12 AM
After realizing that my hard drive is about to explode from over cramming it with stuff, i have had to break down and start deleting some EP episodes (hey, i can allways re-download or listen online, right?)  This story is one im definately keeping, i loved it.  Jared's reading was perfect for the part of the toothbrush.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: El Barto on October 13, 2009, 03:12:46 AM
I loved this story.   Thought it was hilarious, perfectly read, and it made me think.   Bravo!
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Unblinking on February 24, 2010, 03:44:25 PM
Cute, fun, had some memorable lines.  My particular favorite:
Toothbrush:  You don't own me!
Narrator:  Yes I do!

But Douglas Adams and others have done Real People Personalities so well that it's hard to come up with anything that feels fresh.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Douglas on February 10, 2015, 11:24:34 PM
It's been nearly 8 years since I originally heard Conversations With & About My Electric Toothbrush here on Escape Pod.

Back then, I was being considered for a job that I ultimately didn't get because the powers that be couldn't see me as capable of anything else beyond the career path that I was currently on.   It was frustrating.   I wanted to do more.  Be more!  Derek’s story resonated with me for that reason.    I'm not a notable writer, but I AM a filmmaker, and even then I knew I wanted to attempt to visualize this story.

So here we are. With Derek's blessing, Conversations With My Electric Toothbrush has completed photography and begun the post production process.  I'm probably writing about this a bit too early but I can’t help but share my excitement for something that was introduced to me right here at Escape Pod.   There’s still lots of work to do, but we're hoping we can do Derek's story the justice it deserves. 

The film stars Casey Graf, Michael Swaim, Heidi Heaslet and Daminh Tran. 

Much love to you, Escapodians!

Sincerely,

Douglas Nabors
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Unblinking on February 13, 2015, 02:21:09 PM
Awesome!  When you have something to link to, please do so!
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: UnfulredJohnson on February 19, 2015, 01:40:38 AM
Ha! Great Story. Man, shame I missed the steve elley boat, he seemed like a fun guy.

Also great story and, I saw this about the movie on twitter, best of luck with it.
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Douglas on February 19, 2015, 07:58:18 PM
we are in the editing process right now. There's so much good science fiction short form content out that the bar is definitely set high for us.  the project is on several social media platforms if you'd like to check that stuff out. You can search by googling intellibrush! 

Don't lament the loss of Steve. Escape pod is in such good hands currently and all his commentary lives forever in the archives. 







Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Douglas on March 03, 2015, 10:09:13 PM
the website for the film is here. There's a field at the bottom to sign up to be notified when the project is complete.
www.Intellibrush.com
Title: Re: EP115: Conversations With and About My Electric Toothbrush
Post by: Unblinking on March 04, 2015, 04:06:31 PM
the website for the film is here. There's a field at the bottom to sign up to be notified when the project is complete.
www.Intellibrush.com

Great!