Pseudopod 052: That Old Black Magic

[Jim]

Pseudopod 052: That Old Black Magic
August 24th, 2007
By John R. Platt

Read by George Hrab

Magic and I have never exactly been what you’d call the best of friends.

I’ve had plenty of opportunities over the years to try to make the relationship work. I joined a coven, did all the research, bought myself all of the accoutrements of the trade, even had business cards printed up.

But no matter how much knowledge I amassed, when it came to actually performing magic, I was a dud.

[Leon Kensington]

One of my favorite PP stories yet.  All that I found it lacking was some kind of Lovecraftian creature, but that just me.

Story:  9 out of 10                                                 Reading:  10 out of 10

[Monty Grue]

I enjoy stories about tricking the Devil.  Very entertaining.   But what was that final comment all about?  Did I miss something in the story?

[Bdoomed]

ha sorry for not posting this, hectic day.

[Windfox]

This was an excellent story.  It almost made my favorite PP, but it couldn't bump Flat Diane from the top spot.  As soon as it was over, I restarted it to listen a second time, and I've listened to it twice more since then.

The idea is just wonderful, the Unholy Trinity coming to your door for a chat was great.  I especially liked how all three were characterized, it fit in with my own views.  And the ending just made my day, a great punch to finish things up.

What really made this story for me was the simply epic reading done by George Hrab.  Read by someone different, the story losses a lot of it's effect, but Hrab just nails it perfectly.  He really gets you into the characters personality quickly.  He does an especially amazing job with the "Uhs" and the coughs, the story is an excellent example of a good story that really shines when read out loud properly.

Edit:

I did look up Proverbs 2:16, just for kicks.  If anyone is interested: "To deliver thee from the strange woman, [even] from the stranger [which] flattereth with her words"

[Jim]

I'm glad this was on Pseudopod and not Escape Pod. It's not really that much of a horror story, maybe more of a satire, but I liked it.

I'm glad the Faustian bargain wasn't brought up until the end. I can't see where there can be many more ways to spin that trope.

[eytanz]

This was a fun story - not at all horrific, just comedy with some horror-based themes, but it's good to throw such a story in once in a while. And it was very well done.

The reading, being so heavily "in character" as opposed to a straight reading of the text, took me a couple of minutes to get used to, but once I did, I really came to appreciate it.

[Loz]

A fun little story and thankfully zombie-free.

[Listener]

I really liked this story.  I got such a kick out of when Satan and Lucifer left... then came right back... and even more a kick out of when I was reading "Twilight Watch", later that night, and the same thing happened to a couple of members of the Inquisition.  Very amusing.

The reading was really good, and I had no problem with it being read in character, but I think there was too much throat-clearing in the beginning.

Probably my second-favorite PP, after last week's.

[sirana]

Wow, that story was a boatload of fun.
Wonderful hero, nice plot, cool ending.

And the reading was incredible. That one really made my day after the disappointing "The Sundial Brigade".

[goatkeeper]

I LOVED THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!

[Chodon]

I thought the story was excellent, but I'm going to have to disagree with the majority here about the reading.  I couldn't help but think "Woody Allen" the whole time.  All the "um"s, "uh"s, and throat clearing were distracting to me.   I wish it was just a straight read of the story without the voice acting.

I'm also going to build a large, lighted pentagram around my house tonight.

[DKT]

Overall, I generally enjoyed this story and thought the reading added quite a bit to it.  I also really thought the way the author portrayed the unholy trinity was great -- a lot of times when I see Satan/Lucifer in a movie or a story, I'm disappointed by the way he's portrayed.  I thought splitting them up like this was a nice touch, and the mysterious snake without a name worked well, too.

The only thing I don't get is why the protagonist didn't let the unholy trinity go after Patty, and then sent Patty the red apple himself.  I've listened to the story twice now and am still unsure.  He knew she'd set him up as the fall guy when they showed, so why didn't he just let them have her?  I know it's so he can send the apple to her, plotwise; that makes a nice twist and a good ending.  I'm just confused by the why of it.  Am I missing something?

[darusha]

The only thing I don't get is why the protagonist didn't let the unholy trinity go after Patty, and then sent Patty the red apple himself.  I've listened to the story twice now and am still unsure.  He knew she'd set him up as the fall guy when they showed, so why didn't he just let them have her?  I know it's so he can send the apple to her, plotwise; that makes a nice twist and a good ending.  I'm just confused by the why of it.  Am I missing something?

I think it's so that she is directly the agent of her own undoing.  If he sends the trinity, he has caused whatever happens to her, but if he sends the apple she gets to choose.

On another note, add my voice to the minority opinion that the throat clearing was entirely distracting, but I liked this story in spite of that.  George Hrab has a good voice, though, so more talking and less coughing would have been great!

[DKT]

I think it's so that she is directly the agent of her own undoing.  If he sends the trinity, he has caused whatever happens to her, but if he sends the apple she gets to choose.

Ah, okay.  That makes great sense, especially if the serpent is paralleled with the Holy Spirit.  Thanks.

[wakela]

Fun story.  I was very worried when I realized it was going to be a humorous story about the devil.  Let me guess, hell is a soulless bureaucracy mired in paperwork.  But no!  The devils are creatively rendered while the author resisted doing a new (i.e. old) take on hell.

Also George Hrab may be the most talented reader I've heard on either 'pod.  HOWEVER, the Woody Allen voice was very distracting and really pulled me away from the story.  The voice was Allen's, but the words weren't.  I kept expecting a bit that never came.  But having said that, please get him back to read more!

But where do you put a story like this?  I think Pseudopod should be for scary stories.  Before we go down a similar road to the tedious This Isn't Sci-Fi discussions on EP, I would like to point out that the announcers keep telling us that Pseudopod is for scary stories.  "You can scare as many people as you like, but don't change it and don't sell it."  Authors, readers, editors are invariably described as being "twisted."  I'm supposed to tune in next week for more "scary shit."  Bring it on! 

[Chodon]

I think Pseudopod should be for scary stories.  Before we go down a similar road to the tedious This Isn't Sci-Fi discussions on EP, I would like to point out that the announcers keep telling us that Pseudopod is for scary stories.  "You can scare as many people as you like, but don't change it and don't sell it."  Authors, readers, editors are invariably described as being "twisted."  I'm supposed to tune in next week for more "scary shit."  Bring it on! 

I agree.  I haven't been especially scared or twisted by a story on PP since "Flat Diane".  That one made me uncomfortable for the rest of the day, and that's what I loved about it.  This one was an interesting story, but just because the devil is in it doesn't make it horror. 

Before we go down a similar road to the tedious This Isn't Sci-Fi discussions on EP,

Right, right...sorry.  Okay, I'll put it this way: "please crank up the scary meter to 10."

[Listener]

I think Pseudopod should be for scary stories.  Before we go down a similar road to the tedious This Isn't Sci-Fi discussions on EP, I would like to point out that the announcers keep telling us that Pseudopod is for scary stories.  "You can scare as many people as you like, but don't change it and don't sell it."  Authors, readers, editors are invariably described as being "twisted."  I'm supposed to tune in next week for more "scary shit."  Bring it on! 

I agree.  I haven't been especially scared or twisted by a story on PP since "Flat Diane".  That one made me uncomfortable for the rest of the day, and that's what I loved about it.  This one was an interesting story, but just because the devil is in it doesn't make it horror. 

Before we go down a similar road to the tedious This Isn't Sci-Fi discussions on EP,

Right, right...sorry.  Okay, I'll put it this way: "please crank up the scary meter to 10."

When I came into PP with Akropolis, the 'cast entered a series of stories that were good, but not necessarily scary.  But then, unlike SF, horror intended to scare people is very hit-or-miss IMO -- except for startle-horror ("The Ring" and that Asian film that I think was called "The Eye" with the elevator scene with the dude with the caved-in head), it's really hard I think to find something that scares everyone.

Horrifying people?  That's easy.  I can tell you several things that horrify me, but what scares me?  That may not be the same as what scares other people.

I would consider this story as "light horror", but if it was six months from now and Podcastle was in full swing, I might have placed it there, as I consider this more fantastical than anything else.  And a nice morality play, as discussed by DKT and darusha.

[Russell Nash]

Fun story, I really liked it. 

I also liked the reading.  It took a minute to get into it, but I think first person narratives work really well with a reader who is in charactor.

I have two nitpicks that come from a theological point of view.

1)  Lucifer and Satan, same guy at two different points in his existence.  Lucifer was one of Yahweh's right hand men.  His name means bringer of light as in enlightenment.  When he tried to make a play for control, he was kicked out of heaven.  Got his wings burned off and became Satan.  This is why Satan is often shown with skeletal and non-functional wings.

2)  Apples don't grow in the Middle East and could therefore never have been the forbidden fruit.  The symbol of the apple came about simply, because it was a fruit all of Europe knew. 

Anyway, small nitpicks are easy to push aside and I was able to really enjoy this story.

[Bdoomed]

1)  Lucifer and Satan, same guy at two different points in his existence.  Lucifer was one of Yahweh's right hand men.  His name means bringer of light as in enlightenment.  When he tried to make a play for control, he was kicked out of heaven.  Got his wings burned off and became Satan.  This is why Satan is often shown with skeletal and non-functional wings.

that annoyed me too, but the story was fun anyways so i could overlook it.

[Russell Nash]

1)  Lucifer and Satan, same guy at two different points in his existence.  Lucifer was one of Yahweh's right hand men.  His name means bringer of light as in enlightenment.  When he tried to make a play for control, he was kicked out of heaven.  Got his wings burned off and became Satan.  This is why Satan is often shown with skeletal and non-functional wings.

that annoyed me too, but the story was fun anyways so i could overlook it.

I only keep about 1 out of 5 PP or EP episodes and I kept this one, so it didn't bother me too much.

[sirana]

2)  Apples don't grow in the Middle East and could therefore never have been the forbidden fruit. 

But they grow in EDEN ;-)

[robertmarkbram]

I didn't much enjoy George Hrab's reading of this one. The Woody Allen impression annoyed the heck out of me. It must be said that I have enjoyed the occasional Woody Allen movie, despite the intermittent flashes of intense desire to see his interminably circumspect manner get corrected with a 2 x 4.

The protagonist's bumbling also reminded me of Terry Pratchett's Rincewind, so it was that image I tried to put over Mr Hrab's voice.

Just to keep up the name dropping theme of my post so far, the portrayal of Satan in this story as a darkly humorous, strong yet reserved character is strongly reminiscent of Saetan SaDiablo from The Black Jewels Trilogy by Anne Bishop.

I enjoyed the protagonists keen sense of self preservation and creativity. It really fit his character that he also had that sense of honour that would not give up his love un-requited to the Big S, but would still send the apple to her so she can dump herself in it... all with the same level of warning he received.

Well done John R. Platt!

EDIT: thanks DKT, swapped them around!

[DKT]

Just to clarify, George Hrab read the story and John R. Platt wrote it. 

[protodrone]

Thanks for a great production. The story was an homage to O. Henry and the reading was nothing short of an homage to Woody Allen.     All in all, a pleasant departure from the usual fare of the genre.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm suddenly craving an apple...

[DDog]

I probably got lucky (for some value of luck) in that I've only seen one Woody Allen movie and it never crossed my mind that the protagonist's voice was supposed to be a reference to him. Took a little bit to get used to, but after that it made perfect sense. (Although the protagonist is clearly a transplant or a summer-houser; native full-time Connecticut residents have a distinctive accent.)

I enjoyed this one. Loved the pentacle thing, and the idea of the "unholy trinity." Execution was simple and sweet as well.

[Chodon]

2)  Apples don't grow in the Middle East and could therefore never have been the forbidden fruit.  The symbol of the apple came about simply, because it was a fruit all of Europe knew. 

I heard something interesting on the History Channel about this very topic.  Apparently the literal translation only says "fruit".  When the Romans translated it into Latin they decided to have a little play on words.  Apparently the Latin word for "apple" is identical to the Latin word for "evil", so they went with apple.  According to the History Channel it was more likely a fig or pomegranate. 

[eytanz]

2)  Apples don't grow in the Middle East and could therefore never have been the forbidden fruit.  The symbol of the apple came about simply, because it was a fruit all of Europe knew. 

I heard something interesting on the History Channel about this very topic.  Apparently the literal translation only says "fruit".  When the Romans translated it into Latin they decided to have a little play on words.  Apparently the Latin word for "apple" is identical to the Latin word for "evil", so they went with apple.  According to the History Channel it was more likely a fig or pomegranate. 

This reasoning always confuses me. God created one such tree, and forbid man to taste of it. What makes people think that the fruit was of any variety found in Earth?

As for figs and pomegranates, both fruits are mentioned, by name, several times in the Hebrew bible. If it was a fig or pomegranate, why doesn't it say so explicitly?

My assumption is that if the story of Eden is true, than the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge is unlike anything any mortal man has ever seen.

[Chodon]

2)  Apples don't grow in the Middle East and could therefore never have been the forbidden fruit.  The symbol of the apple came about simply, because it was a fruit all of Europe knew. 

I heard something interesting on the History Channel about this very topic.  Apparently the literal translation only says "fruit".  When the Romans translated it into Latin they decided to have a little play on words.  Apparently the Latin word for "apple" is identical to the Latin word for "evil", so they went with apple.  According to the History Channel it was more likely a fig or pomegranate. 

This reasoning always confuses me. God created one such tree, and forbid man to taste of it. What makes people think that the fruit was of any variety found in Earth?

As for figs and pomegranates, both fruits are mentioned, by name, several times in the Hebrew bible. If it was a fig or pomegranate, why doesn't it say so explicitly?

My assumption is that if the story of Eden is true, than the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge is unlike anything any mortal man has ever seen.

Very possible.  The whole point of this documentary I watched was to find the actual Garden of Eden.  Some people believe it is a physical place.  I think most of the bible is one huge metaphor, but that's just my take.  Either way I'll bet the fruit of knowledge (if it existed) tasted damn good.  Mmmmm...sacrilicious.....

[Unblinking]

I enjoyed this story.  I'm not really familiar with Woody Allen movies, so the voice didn't really bother me, and really fit the character very well.

It did bug me a little bit that Satan and Lucifer were portrayed as different entities.  If anything, Satan should be the one who acts younger since his name is the newer one.  But I enjoyed the separate characters enough that I put up with it. 

I didn't understand while listening why he sent the apple, but other's comments make sense on that one, so she can be the source of her own downfall.

[Fenrix]

I disliked the reading on this one, and felt that it detracted more from the story than it contributed. I thought the ums, ahs, and throat clearing were just bad reading or editing. The voice acting on Lucifer and Satan were good, the woman was fine, but I disliked the protagonist. After reading this thread and seeing the glowing reviews, I gave it another listen.

After the second listen, I liked it less as it became clear that the stuttering was deliberate, as much of it felt unnatural and injected at points where there wouldn't be expected stumbles in conversation or the relation of a story. In addition, if it's being told by the protagonist, why is the protagonist affecting the voices of the other three? And when he affects their voices, why does he lose his stammer? If the reader wanted to better separate the protagonists's voice and the voices of the other characters, the transition words between characters ("said Satan" etc) should have been done in the reader's own voice without the stammer.

I'm glad others liked it, but I found the voice work to be a mixed bag.

[Millenium_King]

Yuck.  Sorry, this is one of the rare few where I hit the "next" button.  I couldn't stand the voice, the diction or the actual content.  It felt like a bad impression of Woody Allen doing even worse (and totally not funny) stand-up comedy.  The allusion to Monty Python ("I got better") was utterly groan-worthy and totally out of place.  The other opening lines were just really lame jokes and I expected a "rimshot" at the end of every sentence.  No thanks.