PseudoPod 658: I Hate All That Is Mine

[Bdoomed]

PseudoPod 658: I Hate All That Is Mine

Author: Leigh Harlen
Narrator: Heather N. Thomas
Host: Alasdair Stuart

“I Hate All That Is Mine” originally appeared in the anthology, Lost Films, published by Perpetual Motion Machine

Content Warning:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Self harm, strong sexual themes

Show Notes
Title card music is “Coagula” by permission of Zeal & Ardor. We learned of this band when one of their albums appeared as a chapter heading for We Sold Our Souls by Grady Hendrix. Click through for our interview with Grady for this book. All of those referenced albums were good, but Zeal & Ardor sunk their hooks in and wouldn’t let go. Their powerful mix of gospel, blues, and metal is mesmerizing. You owe it to yourself to check out at least “Blood in the River” and “Gravedigger’s Chant.”


The beanbag crunched and whooshed as Karla dropped into it. No one older than sixteen should have to sit in a beanbag, but she didn’t complain and did her best to get comfortable. While Hailey set up her movie, she rehearsed what she would say when it was over to cover how much she hated it. The camera work was really good. I loved the way you lit the room. That one shot was really striking. No, I’m not lying, I really liked it.

“This is going to floor you, I swear. It’s the best thing I’ve ever made.” Hailey’s hands trembled almost as much as her voice as she hooked up the cables between her laptop and the flat screen television mounted on the wall of her basement bedroom.


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[Metalsludge]

This one was fun. Perhaps one could view it as a story that sort of encapsulates the way that horror stories in general compel the reader or viewer to wish to see what is beyond the door, even as you know it may not be good for you to see. But then, that dread is all part of the appeal!

Seems like Hailey sort of having it in for her friends may have been a subtext here. That would fit the title too. Her, "We are friends, aren't we?" line near the end also seems to suggest this. The artiste will be eye rolled and dismissed by her associates no more.

[Scattercat]

I have a history with unopened bedroom doors and generally enjoyed the tension-ratcheting horror on this one. 

I wonder a bit how the protesters resisted the power of the film entity.  Did none of them actually see it and they just had friends/family members who exhibited strange behavior?  Given how mild the symptoms seem to be after only one or two viewings, a full-on protest and street brawl seems like a bit of an overreaction without having direct experience of the supernatural effects.  Are they then somehow actually protected by something?  Did the story just posit that angry shouting retrograde asshole protest-happy conservative Christianity is in fact the one true religion?  ;-)

[jordanshiveley]

This has become one of my favorite short horror stories of all time. I've listened to it at least five times now. Leigh Harlen's prose is visceral and the same time otherworldly which is quite a feat to pull off. The feeling of being on a steady cam track as the story pulls you further and further into itself is superb.

[Fenrix]

The feeling of being on a steady cam track as the story pulls you further and further into itself is superb.

I love how you put this. Stories about films that probably don't exist is a favorite of the editorial team, and we've got two more coming up later this year.

[Languorous Lass]

Stories about films that probably don't exist is a favorite of the editorial team, and we've got two more coming up later this year.

Oh, excellent!  Stories about films really get under my skin.  The story about the film that starts off with the woman on a wheel covered with bits of glass haunts me to this day.  I could swear I’ve seen that scene. 

[Fenrix]

Stories about films that probably don't exist is a favorite of the editorial team, and we've got two more coming up later this year.

Oh, excellent!  Stories about films really get under my skin.  The story about the film that starts off with the woman on a wheel covered with bits of glass haunts me to this day.  I could swear I’ve seen that scene.

Right there with you on Final Girl Theory, by A.C. Wise. Phenomenal story and that scene is so giallo.

[Languorous Lass]

Thanks for reminding me of the title, Fenrix!