Author Topic: EP693: The Great Scientist Rivalry on Planet Sourdough  (Read 144 times)

divs

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EP693: The Great Scientist Rivalry on Planet Sourdough
« on: August 23, 2019, 06:16:42 PM »
Escape Pod 693: The Great Scientist Rivalry on Planet Sourdough


Author : Beth Goder
Narrators : Divya Breed, Mur Lafferty, Adam Pracht, Alasdair Stuart and Tina Connolly
Host : Tina Connolly
Audio Producer : Summer Brooks

This story originally appeared in the charity anthology Reading 5×5 in March 2018.

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Audio Journal of Yazhu A. Borla
Sourdough Planet, Year 1, Day 1

I am definitely a genius, because I’ve discovered a way to create nanobot-integrated sourdough that will change how humanity eats bread.

Here’s the plan:
Step 1: Find a planet that no one cares about, so when I place eight fermentation silos on the surface, no one will bother me about regulations or whatever.
Step 2: Time dilation! To bypass the long window needed for sourdough starter fermentation and nanobot algorithm iterations, use a super-fast spaceship to zip around the galaxy. As a result, while two weeks pass for me on the ship, thirty years pass on the planet.
Step 3: Check on the silos, tweaking each creation until…
Step 4: I’ve created the most delicious, amazing, beneficial sourdough that humankind has ever eaten.

When I’m done, people who eat my bread will be able to do amazing things–breathe underwater, boost their immune systems, get rid of wrinkles. At least, if the experiment goes well. I’m still playing around with the algorithms.

I’ll be famous. They’ll name cities after me. Countries. Maybe even whole planets.

But, of course, the most important thing is that my creations will benefit humanity.

The plan’s only flaw is that I won’t get to see Ayla’s face when I create the most epic nanofood in the universe. What’s the point of having a nemesis if you can’t even gloat?


Listen to this week’s Escape Pod!

skeletondragon

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Re: EP693: The Great Scientist Rivalry on Planet Sourdough
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2019, 10:57:24 PM »
I found this story a hilarious and poignant account of every reason I didn't go into academia.

rivqa

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Re: EP693: The Great Scientist Rivalry on Planet Sourdough
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2019, 04:39:42 AM »
This story was so much fun! But it also had some serious meat, which is a combination that works really well for me.

The narration was such a blast, too. Well done to you all!

adaz

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Re: EP693: The Great Scientist Rivalry on Planet Sourdough
« Reply #3 on: September 14, 2019, 04:51:11 PM »
This was a stellar story made even better by a particularly inspired narration. More ensemble cast narrations every once in awhile (if the story fits) would be grand! :)