Cotton Candy! That was my impression of this story. As always I post before reading all the other posts, because I don't want other posts to taint my views until after I have gotten my views down on "Paper."
As Mr. Eley said at the beginning, if you don't want to remember you high school years you might want to skip this one, wow I wish I had skipped it. Maybe I am just too old, maybe my high school years were different, maybe maybe maybe... But I doubt it. I listened to the whole story saying, it is going to get better but, it didn't.
The build up was all about this slip and how it was so important to how cool she would be tomorrow, and then at the end it was all about a father not wanting to think about how it daughter was going to die. As a father I can understand that, and I could even get into it. I could even see how my daughter might be more interested in wanting to know what it was than how it might make me feel. With all that being said It felt out of place in the story. What about her old friend? Why was he there? Did he really add anything to the story? In a story so short I think I would have dropped him.
The reader did an excellent job with portraying the standard stereotypical teen aged girl. So good job on that! However, with that in mind I am so totally over and stuff, the valley girl thing, I found myself getting annoyed while listening to it. All teen aged girls are not from that mythical valley, and though they do seem to have their own language, (which in case you are interested there will be a masters degree program in the language of teen aged girls held at my house in two more years) they don't all talk like that.
So for a wrap up. Reader: good job. Writer: sorry but I was not impressed. Mr. Eley: Please no more of these!