The Retcon Death of Palimpsest

[Heradel]

Sometime today, under mysterious circumstances, the Escape Pod forum had a death of personality, or at least a retcon. Palimpsest, by the forum's measure our fourth most prolific poster (and the 3rd biggest lurker), was erased from the forum database and replaced by a robot by the name of Rachel Swirsky, which someone obviously came up with via grabbing two baby name books and randomly grabbing names out of them, probably via some monkey-throwing-dart mechanism.

Palimpsest will be missed.

In the meantime, now that they're gone, let's all start listing the ways they aggravated us.

I'll start.

1. Bloody obscure handle.

[Rachel Swirsky]

1. Bloody obscure handle.

Hi, pot! How's that blackness going for you?

[Rachel Swirsky]

"3rd biggest lurker"

How does it measure that?

[Heradel]

1. Bloody obscure handle.

Hi, pot! How's that blackness going for you?

Pretty good, as I'm past the point where mine needs to mean something. Granted, it's a portmanteau, but knowing it's heretic/infidel doesn't add much except in the religious threads, and in point of fact it's slightly out of date with my current philosophical/religious status.

I measure lurkerness by hours on the site, available via: http://forum.escapeartists.info/index.php?action=stats

Which, of course, says I'm the 6th biggest lurker, a scant ~10 hours ahead of Steve, yet a good week behind Russell, who is scary in his lurking ability.

[birdless]

That's gotta be the weirdest, deepest answer to a tongue-in-cheek question that I've ever heard. You deserve some sort of prize.

[Chodon]

If I'm not mistaken lurking is reading forum posts without actually posting anything.  Based on that, I think lurkiness would be better measued by posts per active hour.  If someone spends a lot of time on the forums, but posts a lot they aren't really a lurker.  They just spend a lot of time on the forums.  A ratio would take into account their involvement in the forums.  For example, someone who spent 100 hours on the forums and made 1000 posts (1 post every .1 hour, or six minutes) would be less lurky than someone who spent 100 hours on the forum and made 20 posts (1 post every 5 hours).  Just a thought...

[Heradel]

That's gotta be the weirdest, deepest answer to a tongue-in-cheek question that I've ever heard. You deserve some sort of prize.

You haven't read when the end comes!, have you? That's a small but good and serious textbook on strategies for surviving zombie invasions. Zombies. A seriously-considered Zombie Survival plan.

Chodon: Fine, make me go scientific on it.

Russell= 1 post / 17 minutes.
Eytanz= 1 post / 40 minutes.
"Rachel Swirsky" = 1 post /18 minutes.
Thaurismunths = 1 post / 17 minutes.
Jrderego = 1 post / 1 hour, 19 minutes.
Heradel = 1 post / 29 minutes.
SFEley = 1 post / 11 minutes.
Simon = 1 post / 2 hours, 21 minutes.
Kmmrlatham = 1 post / 50 minutes.
Maria = 1 post / 5 hours, 15 minutes.

So I guess it's this Maria person that scares me most.

[birdless]

No, but I do have that Zombie Survival Guide... I really need to finish reading it. We've moved, so my pest control guy doesn't take care of them anymore.

[eytanz]

Eytanz= 1 post / 40 minutes.

I wonder why I seem to be able to stay online for so long, while other people do not. I mean, I never actually log off the forums because I check it on private computers both at home and work, but I can't be unique there. What makes me remain logged in for 14+ days, while other people are logged in for less?

[Heradel]

Eytanz= 1 post / 40 minutes.

I wonder why I seem to be able to stay online for so long, while other people do not. I mean, I never actually log off the forums because I check it on private computers both at home and work, but I can't be unique there. What makes me remain logged in for 14+ days, while other people are logged in for less?

Might be something related to how the browser refreshes automatically after a certain time. If you're leaving the page open somewhere and it refreshes, the server might be counting that as you actively on. But I don't know how it calculates it per se, though I'd say my number's probably somewhere around accurate if high, but that's mostly because I'm one of those ADD/OCD users that has safari open up a bookmark folder every hour or two to check the news.

I also wonder if I get on for a minute to check to see if something's been put up, then go away to read for 15 minutes and come back if it counts that entire fifteen minutes, or it just gives a certain value for each page I'm visiting.

[Maria]

 

[Heradel]

Fine.

Maria= 1 post / 5 hours, 10 minutes.

Still the lurker queen.

[FamilyGuy]

I've got 1 post / 3 hours.  Does that make me king?  It's good to be the king.   

Oh, crap.  I posted, now my stats are off.

[DKT]

This is one of the funniest threads I've read here.

Although, holy crap, I'm one of the top 5 posters?  That's kind of frightening yet very cool.

[Rachel Swirsky]

Don't worry, Maria. I think you're awesome. 

[eytanz]

Eytanz= 1 post / 40 minutes.

I wonder why I seem to be able to stay online for so long, while other people do not. I mean, I never actually log off the forums because I check it on private computers both at home and work, but I can't be unique there. What makes me remain logged in for 14+ days, while other people are logged in for less?

Might be something related to how the browser refreshes automatically after a certain time. If you're leaving the page open somewhere and it refreshes, the server might be counting that as you actively on. But I don't know how it calculates it per se, though I'd say my number's probably somewhere around accurate if high, but that's mostly because I'm one of those ADD/OCD users that has safari open up a bookmark folder every hour or two to check the news.

I also wonder if I get on for a minute to check to see if something's been put up, then go away to read for 15 minutes and come back if it counts that entire fifteen minutes, or it just gives a certain value for each page I'm visiting.

Hmmm... When I went to bed last night, I noticed that the value was "14 days, 15 hours, and 55 minutes" or so.

This morning, eight hours later, it was "14 days, 15 hours, and 56 minutes".

So, unlike what I thought yesterday, it's not measuring how much time passed since an arbitrary timestamp, but it's actually a total of the amount of time I spent in the forums (since I joined? since the server reset?) In any case, it's scary.

[Windup]

Wow, I'm behind.  If Palimpsest is dead, as a fellow Iowan, I should be bringing her relatives a casserole....

[Tango Alpha Delta]

Wow, I'm behind.  If Palimpsest is dead, as a fellow Iowan, I should be bringing her relatives a casserole....

Hmmm... I always thought y'all were "Iowegians"?


And w00t!  I'm in the Top Ten!  Or  "Boo... Tad's in the Top Ten." YMMV.     

1 post/11.75 minutes

Jeez... I need a social life.

[Heradel]

Hmmm... When I went to bed last night, I noticed that the value was "14 days, 15 hours, and 55 minutes" or so.

This morning, eight hours later, it was "14 days, 15 hours, and 56 minutes".

So, unlike what I thought yesterday, it's not measuring how much time passed since an arbitrary timestamp, but it's actually a total of the amount of time I spent in the forums (since I joined? since the server reset?) In any case, it's scary.

I think I've tracked it down — it's the number of time between hits, timing out after a half-hour. For example, I've recently racked up a few days in a very short time, because I end up popping by every half-hour or so during my internet constitutionals to make sure that nothing... bad has been posted. So if I visit at 11:00, and at 11:29, I get 29 minutes added to my time, even though I've really only been on the site for about two minutes.

Still haven't caught up to Russell though. Should be close enough to gank him soon though.

[Tango Alpha Delta]

Watch out Russell... you don't wanna be ganked by an ad-verse-ary!

[Windup]

Hmmm... I always thought y'all were "Iowegians"?

Nope, it's Iowans.  Ask The Des Moines Register. 

And by the way, the food in question is most definitely a "casserole," not, repeat NOT, a "hot dish."  The latter is barbarism employed by the inhabitants of the Frozen North (a.k.a. Minnesota).

[Heradel]

Hmmm... I always thought y'all were "Iowegians"?

Nope, it's Iowans.  Ask The Des Moines Register. 

And by the way, the food in question is most definitely a "casserole," not, repeat NOT, a "hot dish."  The latter is barbarism employed by the inhabitants of the Frozen North (a.k.a. Minnesota).

Are we talking about the kind of food that's characterized by cheese and broccoli with corn flakes on top for 'crunch'?

[Windup]

Hmmm... I always thought y'all were "Iowegians"?

Nope, it's Iowans.  Ask The Des Moines Register. 

And by the way, the food in question is most definitely a "casserole," not, repeat NOT, a "hot dish."  The latter is barbarism employed by the inhabitants of the Frozen North (a.k.a. Minnesota).

Are we talking about the kind of food that's characterized by cheese and broccoli with corn flakes on top for 'crunch'?

That's one common variation.  My Mom used to make one affectionately known as "Five Can Casserole" because it used five canned goods in its preparation. The only two I can remember are mixed vegetables and mushroom soup.  That one used "chow-mein" noodles for "crunch."   At my grandmother's funeral, one was served that used the ingredients of a Rueben sandwich, with pieces of rye bread sprinkled on top. Ruebens were one of my grandmother's favorite foods at one point in her life.

[hautdesert]

The only thing better than cornflakes for crunch, is crushed potato chips for crunch.  Just slightly south of Iowa, yeah, it's a casserole and not a hot dish.

*Green beans, cream of mushroom soup, french fried onions on top--it's not Thanksgiving without it.

*There's also a can of tuna, peas, cream of mushroom soup, and the aforementioned potato chips.  Some people mix in grated cheese.

*Also--bag of frozen hash browns, 8 oz sour cream, a bunch of grated cheese, can of cream of chicken soup.  Doesn't need crunch, for some reason.

*Pretty much any combination of vegetables, canned cream-of soup, cheese, meat...choose your favorite crunch.  It's kind of hard to go wrong.  I am not ashamed to admit that I love casserole.

[Tango Alpha Delta]

My lovely bride (who is from Omaha, btw) makes a Green Bean Casserole with chopped olives, a little extra pepper, and those crispy french onions on top.  If she tells the kids "We're having Green Bean Casserole", they will bitch and moan, and won't eat it.  So, one night, she didn't tell them what we were having, and they ate it up and asked for seconds.

One of them finally asked what it was, and she told them, the little prodigy pointed at the empty casserole dish and the clean plates, and cried out, "Green Bean Casserole?  But nobody likes it!!"

So the new name of the dish is "But Nobody Likes It"... and they ask for it by that name about once a month, and she posts the recipe online by that name.  I told her to copyright it or something.