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Author Topic: PseudoPod 748: The Infinite Error  (Read 802 times)


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on: March 16, 2021, 12:02:02 AM
PseudoPod 748: The Infinite Error

Authors: Jon Padgett and Matthew M. Bartlett
Narrator: Jon Padgett
Host: Alasdair Stuart
Audio Producer: Chelsea Davis

PseudoPod 748: The Infinite Error is a PseudoPod original.

Show Notes
This is this story’s first time appearing to the public. It will be included in the forthcoming collaborative collection The Latham-Fielding Liaison.

“Everything exists; nothing exists. Either formula affords a like serenity. The man of anxiety, to his misfortune, remains between them, trembling and perplexed, forever at the mercy of a nuance, incapable of gaining a foothold in the security of being or in the absence of being.”

—E.M. Cioran, The Trouble with Being Born

Of course, I would have preferred to defecate at home in the privacy and comfort of my own bathroom, but my bowels refuse to move for the first two hours I am awake. I suffer from insomnia and can achieve a deep sleeping state only in the very early hours of the morning. Forcing myself awake before 6am is a misery, so I simply wait to use the office facilities.

As you know, the office has only one lavatory, which is miniscule. The entrance has a swinging, louvered door that cannot be locked, and it contains a single stall. A unisex facility, there is no urinal present, so if the stall is occupied, one must wait. Each weekday for years now, I have arrived at work fifteen minutes early so I can enter and use this toilet without disturbance.

Why? I don’t like beginning my day in a negative frame of mind. It is not rage that I feel whenever I enter the lavatory to find the stall door closed, but it is a proximal feeling. Also, I cannot abide sitting on a warm toilet seat, let alone being assailed by the stench of another body’s recent evacuations. And then there are the particles that they so often leave behind in the toilet’s bowl.

You would think it a simple courtesy: a second flush. Why, I myself have been known to wait until the water recedes, and wipe at the leavings with a wad of toilet tissue sufficient to provide an unbreachable border between my hand and the porcelain. To leave behind any trace of my presence would be simply out of the question.

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Álex Souza

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Reply #1 on: March 16, 2021, 02:15:04 PM
I did not enjoy this. At all.  :(

This story is not horror. Period. It even feels like a chronicle—and I mean the Latin type of chronicle: a genre-bending, humorous story that makes fun and/or criticizes some aspect of the contemporary world.

It starts with a quote of a story called, “The problem with being born” so, as I was reading the beginning, I thought that all that defecation was because shitting is a common thing in life or whatever  :o. But, as I kept reading through the story, I didn’t know what to think anymore. I had fun at first, but the joke got old with all the repetition.

The speculative element is very dim. It’s debatable, even. Maybe there’s no speculative element at all. That means that this story has been misplaced.

This is not scary nor funny nor deep (or maybe too deep?). It’s simply weird. The authors are not even trying.

All things considered, I think it’s safe to assume that this is the first story, here in the Escape Artists Podcasts, that I’d classify as objectively bad.

I'd give this a zero out of ten, but I'll give it a one because I admire its shamelessness.

I'll give them that.

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Reply #2 on: March 28, 2021, 03:06:42 PM
There's a particular  branch of cosmic horror that inhabits the corporate space, as well as one that is thoroughly scatological.

Thomas Ligotti spent a lot of time in both those regions. This excerpt from Ligotti really exemplifies the second:

"The lessons in measurement of cloacal forces. Time as a flow of sewage. The excrement of space, scatology of creation. The voiding of the self. The whole filthy integration of things and the nocturnal product, as he called it, drowning in the pools of night."

We like to show the depth and breadth of the entire horror genre, including The Weird and other overlaps. We understand that not every story works for everyone, and there's another for free next week you'll certainly like more.

All cat stories start with this statement: “My mother, who was the first cat, told me this...”


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Reply #3 on: March 29, 2021, 11:39:58 AM
I can't help but find amusement and entertainment in scatalogic themes, more often than not. 

If you've worked in an office setting for long enough, chances are you've encountered co-workers like the narrator here, and that for me imparted quite a good amount of horror.


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Reply #4 on: April 05, 2021, 04:57:29 PM
This story was .... interesting.  Different.

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Reply #5 on: April 16, 2021, 07:10:29 PM
Am I listening to a fancy faecal fairy tale?! Holy hell.  :o :o :o :o :o :o

« Last Edit: April 16, 2021, 07:13:39 PM by Scuba Man »

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Reply #6 on: June 02, 2021, 09:46:25 AM
I empathize with the narrator and think this was a mean prank.  I wish the weird podcast had had more unsettling things to say before it veered into the hyperspecific.

It's always fun to use fancy verbiage for poop jokes though.