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Author Topic: PseudoPod 753: The Boulevardier  (Read 515 times)

Bdoomed

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on: April 16, 2021, 05:33:18 AM
PseudoPod 753: The Boulevardier

Author: David Stevens
Narrator: Halloween Bloodfrost
Host: Alasdair Stuart
Audio Producer: Marty Perrett

“The Boulevardier” originally appeared in the anthology Love Hurts, from Meerkat Press.



Show Notes
Each of the neighbours the boulevardier refers to in this story have appeared in their own published tales, as have others who live around the gully he refers to. David coincidentally lives across the street from a very similar gully, frequented by wallabies, goannas, echidnas and the occasional snake. His neighbours may be odd, but not quite as odd as the boulevardier.



My love,


I sit on your floor. The silk wrapped bodies sway as though a zephyr blows, their feet tracing the darkness just above my head. The chatterer has ceased for now. He kept it up for hours though, barely audible, much less discernible. He has ceased his attempts to communicate, his attention no longer on the outside world. Something in his interior has caught his attention.

I wait patiently. I can wait forever. However, as the mock zephyr becomes a faux breeze, and the movements of the bodies grow quicker, less regular, your need, my love, grows urgent.

I am tired, I am hurt, but I am oh so excited. Expectation fills me as I wait to see what will pass.




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I'd like to hear my options, so I could weigh them, what do you say?
Five pounds?  Six pounds? Seven pounds?


Scuba Man

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Reply #1 on: April 16, 2021, 06:46:18 PM
I enjoyed this narration so much, I disabled my Bluetooth earphones, moved over to my fancy dancy listening nook, and streamed it on my headphone Hi-Fi kit.

Yep, Mister Halloween Bloodfrost (great pseudonym, eh  8)...) does a fantastic job pulling me into the story of...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yep, this checked all the right boxes for my aural enjoyment. More please!  :) :o :)

I'm a stand-up philosopher until 2024. Then, I move onto my next gig. I'm a gentleman forester and farmer. I also enjoy jumping into Lake Huron and panicking the fish.


Perihelion

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Reply #2 on: April 24, 2021, 03:05:20 AM
Most of the text under the cut because it's hard to talk about without..... well. Spoilers.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

As a side note, a sincere hats off to his wife, who it's implied knows exactly what he is but went there anyway. Legend.




Ichneumon

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Reply #3 on: May 13, 2021, 05:51:54 AM
Were-arthropods, very interesting! I really like the concept. I had to look up the definition of boulevardier: a man-about-town, but without the negative connotations of dandy or fop.
The garbage munching scene was like an R rated version of Templeton at the fair. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bTSs3hTNRE



Scuba Man

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Reply #4 on: June 02, 2021, 01:30:20 AM
Were-arthropods, very interesting! I really like the concept. I had to look up the definition of boulevardier: a man-about-town, but without the negative connotations of dandy or fop.
The garbage munching scene was like an R rated version of Templeton at the fair. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bTSs3hTNRE

Gasp! were-athropods!
Where arthropods?
There. There arthropods!
...with a nod to Young Frankenstein.

Oh, and Australia...
Yeahhhhhh, nah.  :o

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Scattercat

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Reply #5 on: June 02, 2021, 09:01:42 AM
I definitely got shades of beetle or even pillbug from his piecemeal self-descriptions.

One wonders how much the spider lady knew or suspected what he was.  Perhaps he's one of those predators that mimics the appearance of prey, like those beetle larvae that eat frogs



Scuba Man

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Reply #6 on: June 18, 2021, 07:14:21 PM
I definitely got shades of beetle or even pillbug from his piecemeal self-descriptions.

One wonders how much the spider lady knew or suspected what he was.  Perhaps he's one of those predators that mimics the appearance of prey, like those beetle larvae that eat frogs.
Scattercat, you do know your nightmare-fuel. Bravo!

I'm a stand-up philosopher until 2024. Then, I move onto my next gig. I'm a gentleman forester and farmer. I also enjoy jumping into Lake Huron and panicking the fish.


Scattercat

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Reply #7 on: June 21, 2021, 10:44:33 AM
Insects are broadly horrifying in a wide variety of ways, to human sensibilities.  There are a lot of options for "worst," but probably the most "fucking why, evolution?" is the mite that has no anus and thus cannot ever defecate in its life, eventually just dying of too much poop with nowhere to send it.  After mating, of course, so natural selection says "meh, seems fine."