Author Topic: PC725: Miss Bulletproof Comes Out of Retirement  (Read 282 times)


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on: March 09, 2022, 08:01:19 AM
PodCastle 725: Miss Bulletproof Comes Out of Retirement

Author: Louis Evans
Narrator: C. L. Clark
Host: Matt Dovey
Audio Producer: Peter Adrian Behravesh

Previously published by GigaNotoSaurus


Content Warning:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Show Notes
Rated R

Miss Bulletproof comes home and there’s a god sitting at her kitchen table talking to her kids. “Did you like my presents, children?” says the god. “It was I who got you those gifts, those funny little things, including that long and slithery one, which you both found so amusing.” The children had not found the Malayan pit viper to be amusing; they had found it to be terrifying, and shrieked so loudly in the middle of the night that they had almost awakened Miss Bulletproof’s wife, which, well, that would be bad. And the kids — quite reasonably — had kept on screaming until Miss Bulletproof came sleepily into the room, allowed the pit viper to shatter its fangs on her palm, and then crushed its skull with her trademark efficiency, which she has come these days to regard as maternal rather than professional.

Miss Bulletproof sees the god at her kitchen table talking to her kids and she sees red, in that order. In those days when Miss Bulletproof worked for gods and did their bidding, she would have gotten up in that smug motherfucker’s face and given him a piece of her fucking mind, not sparing the obscenities. But now Miss Bulletproof is a mama, and her two beautiful kids are in the room, looking at her with trust and terror in that classic high-proof childhood cocktail of feeling, and she knows she has to set a good example.

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