(is that a generation thing? Has the media primed us to find a creep in every seeming good deed
You know, I didn't really have time today to respond to Anarkey properly, and I was sort of hoping Rain would post as well, but I agree with this worry, as well as with what TAD posted. It seems to me, especially after reading Anarkey's post, that to interpret the man's actions as creepy we need to be subconciously primed for an excuse to do so - it is a reflection of a society where basic human interaction is discouraged outside of very narrowly prescribed social bounderies, where an old man taking any type of interest in a younger woman, for whatever reason, is viewed with suspicion and possible disgust. Where any overture which is not immediately welcomed is viewed as unwelcome attention. Where openness is interpreted as either vulnerability or creepiness, depending on who exhibits it.
Not, mind you, that I'm saying that that is Anarkey's attitude, or Rain's attitude. What I'm saying is that that is the underlying current in our society, and that it affects all our attitudes to some degree.
That it does.
I'm a guy, 55 years old, and pretty much look it. About a year and a half ago, I was driving to work as usual on a back road that cuts off a few hundred meters from my route, and is generally less populated and more scenic (farm, cow pasture, hayfields, etc.) than the main road. I see this girl jogging. I recognise her as the fairly attractive teenage daughter, Melanie, of my wife's good friend Donna. We had met her at odd times when we visited Donna. Melanie was on the high school soccer team, and I figured the running was part of her training. I give a brief wave as I pass her. Then it seemed that every morning I would pass her at about the same place, like clockwork. She'd give this shy little wave as I passed, and I'd wave back. Last spring, she didn't show up for a few months, and I knew that Melanie had graduated and would be going to university about 200 km away. I figured she went early, for a summer job or something. Then one day in the early fall, I saw her running again - same time, same general area. We waved.
A few days later I was talking to Donna on the phone and asked her if Melanie had been home for the weekend. Donna said "no, why?" I explained about us waving to each other while I was driving to work on that back road. It turns out that the young woman I had been waving to was somebody else entirely. A total stranger, except for our waving ritual. I've never seen her in other places, such as the local grocery store, or at least I've never recognized her anywhere else.
Now I'm left with this conundrum. I have this vague need to explain myself or or apologize or something to this stranger, since the ritual began as a result of a misunderstanding on my part. Do I...
A. Stop waving back and ignore her from now on. (seems rude)
B. Keep waving as usual. (seems ... I dunno what)
C. Stop the car when I see her (on the deserted back road), roll down the window as she passes and start talking to her, to explain myself. (prepare to be pepper-sprayed?)
I've been primed to be aware that "option C." could make
me seem creepy, especially if she decided to just keep running
without hearing what I said. I wouldn't be able to try it again without scaring her. She might feel a need to change her route.
Maybe I could prepare a note and toss it out just before we pass each other, hoping that she'd pick it up and read after I drove by, but that just seems too weird, even to me.
The only thing I can figure might work is to find some other woman who also runs (hey, I know one who trains for marathons!) and who might know who the mystery runner is (it's a small town). I explain the situation to her, and she tells the mystery woman what's going on, and we merely continue with option B.
It all makes me feel like I'm in an episode of Seinfield.