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Author Topic: PC Miniature 004: Hippocampus  (Read 16625 times)
Hatton
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« Reply #20 on: June 04, 2008, 08:40:44 AM »

I think I liked this miniature, but I can't seem to remember...

Actually, I think the intro started off shaky.  Being a flash, I know there's a word limit but if we can't get a chance to understand why the man's worries at the lady's smile, why bring it up?
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Normal is just a setting on the washing machine.
ajames
Lochage
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Posts: 358



« Reply #21 on: June 04, 2008, 08:58:42 PM »

I'd have to listen to it again to be sure, Hatton, but I thought the intro worked nicely towards getting the reader/listener to understand very quickly that although these two were together in some way, there was a tension or mistrust between them. I thought their relationship was done nicely - without any real details you had a very good picture of what they were all about.

Although now that I think back I'm not even sure if the story was in the second person or third person. Maybe it isn't having your seahorse eaten that screws with your memories, but reading about someone else's seahorse getting eaten that screws with your memories...
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stePH
Actually has enough cowbell.
Hipparch
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Posts: 3906


Cool story, bro!


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« Reply #22 on: June 05, 2008, 04:21:37 PM »

I'd have to listen to it again to be sure, Hatton, but I thought the intro worked nicely towards getting the reader/listener to understand very quickly that although these two were together in some way, there was a tension or mistrust between them. I thought their relationship was done nicely - without any real details you had a very good picture of what they were all about.

Although now that I think back I'm not even sure if the story was in the second person or third person.

I believe it was first person.  But I'm not inclined to listen again to confirm my recollection.

[edit]
looking at the beginning of this thread I see that it was first person.
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"Nerdcore is like playing Halo while getting a blow-job from Hello Kitty."
-- some guy interviewed in Nerdcore Rising
ajames
Lochage
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Posts: 358



« Reply #23 on: June 05, 2008, 09:00:10 PM »

You can't look at the beginning of the thread - that's cheating!  Oops, well, at least now I KNOW my memory  was faulty  Grin
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DarkKnightJRK
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« Reply #24 on: June 10, 2008, 01:58:58 AM »

At the end of the story, I couldn't help but think, "Ha ha ha--PWNED!" Grin
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Listener
Hipparch
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I place things in locations which later elude me.


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« Reply #25 on: June 10, 2008, 04:07:50 PM »

At the end of the story, I couldn't help but think, "Ha ha ha--PWNED!" Grin

You made me LOL.
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Sir Postsalot
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« Reply #26 on: January 11, 2010, 12:46:44 PM »

Cute.  I wasn't aware of the seahorse/part of brain synonym so I'm sure it lost some of it's coolness. 

The hippocampus in this story is similar to a phylactery, but instead of holding your soul it holds your memories.  I always thought a phylactery was a cool idea, so it got bonus points for the association.  Smiley
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