Author Topic: Pseudopod 101: Homecoming  (Read 12498 times)

Bdoomed

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on: August 01, 2008, 05:22:59 AM
Pseudopod 101: Homecoming

By B.J. West

Read by Leann Mabry

“How long’s it been?”

“Almost a year.” She dabbed her eyes on her sleeve. “Seems longer though. Gavin joined the Army just after we got married. They transferred him to Fort Hannah when things started heating up with the Indians.”

Missy continued plucking clothespins. “My daddy was in the Army. I think I saw him two weeks out of every year, usually at Christmas time. My momma said that sometimes she felt like a widow.” Selena nodded again without looking up. “You must really be looking forward to seeing him tomorrow.”

Selena only shrugged. Missy stopped and put her fists on her ample hips. “You don’t look too excited about it. What’s the matter?”

“I’m scared.”

“What for? He’s still your husband.”

“I’m scared he won’t come.”




Listen to this week's Pseudopod.

I'd like to hear my options, so I could weigh them, what do you say?
Five pounds?  Six pounds? Seven pounds?


DKT

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Reply #1 on: August 01, 2008, 03:15:56 PM
Where's the rest of this story? :(


Duke9700

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Reply #2 on: August 01, 2008, 03:32:06 PM
Where's the rest of this story? :(

I was worried I was the only one! I need my weekly outro also!



cede

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Reply #3 on: August 02, 2008, 03:02:42 AM
how much longer till the story is fixed or put up again or whatever, it seems quite good



Alasdair5000

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Reply #4 on: August 02, 2008, 08:51:45 AM
Should be back up now.  Sorry about that, everyone.



cede

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Reply #5 on: August 03, 2008, 06:57:09 PM
thanks :-*



Bdoomed

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Reply #6 on: August 04, 2008, 04:14:31 AM
ha scared me for a bit.  I get on my comp and see a new Pseudopod in the feed and thought i was late for posting something :P

I'd like to hear my options, so I could weigh them, what do you say?
Five pounds?  Six pounds? Seven pounds?


DKT

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Reply #7 on: August 04, 2008, 06:27:33 PM
I enjoyed this one, especially the way I could trace the twist all the way back through the story.  (I'm sure other listeners saw it coming, but I didn't.)  When the Indian Cemetery was initially brought up, I was pretty sure this was going to become one of those other kinds of story (You can almost hear Indy asking, "Why does it always have to be an Indian Burial Ground?"), so I thought the way it went was pretty interesting.  Nice little story, and Leann Mabry's voice is always welcome. 


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Reply #8 on: August 04, 2008, 06:45:22 PM
I also enjoyed the way the story developed and the way the twist was carefully built up in a way that made it entirely consistent but still surprising.

I did not, however, find Selena to be a very sympathetic protagonist. She was a racist - far moreso, it seems, than her environment - and by the time that we learnt of her husband's death, which excused her attitude somewhat, it was too late for me to like her. Especially since she never really had a redeeming moment. I pitied her somewhat in the end, but I never liked her.



Ocicat

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Reply #9 on: August 05, 2008, 01:58:12 AM
I just have one thing to ask: How often does that city experience full solar eclipses?!?

Come on!  How often does one come through your neighborhood?  If that cemetery was in my backyard, I'd expected to see my beloved dead... well, pretty much never.  If I buried them in a cooperative indian cemetery a few hundred miles south I might have a few moments with them in 2017.



zZzacha

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Reply #10 on: August 05, 2008, 02:11:20 PM
WoW! This week I like the PP episode more than both the EP and the PC episodes - that never happens to me. I even thought I was listening to a PC episode, because the story was a bit magical. Maybe PC end PP swapped stories by accident. Neh, I'm not going into the old discussion of stories not fitting in the genre!

As I said, great story! I loved the way the magical bits flowed into the storyline at the end. Casual remarks about bringing back the dead, very nice.

I wish, for the people in the village, that a full solar eclipse will happen very often! Although if all the dead keep coming back, you might walk into some dead people you really didn't want to see all that often. And no use killing someone you don't like! Some family member will bring them back next full solar eclipse to hunt you down...

It is never too late to be what you might have been.


DKT

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Reply #11 on: August 05, 2008, 03:51:35 PM
About the full solar eclipses...I didn't remember that from the story but still, I think it can be explained with two words:  Indian Cemetery. 

I mean, really, in this genre, anything can happen if you've got an Indian burial ground in yoour story.


MacArthurBug

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Reply #12 on: August 05, 2008, 08:41:55 PM
ooh slow creepy.  Good story.

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Sgarre1

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Reply #13 on: August 06, 2008, 12:53:36 AM
Well, this is the first time I re-listened to a Pseudopod episode just to make sure I wasn't missing something after reading some comments.

Ending all there (IE - I wasn't somehow missing some actual part of the story)? Check.
Deftly handled undermining of expectations second time around, now that I know the ending? Check.
Complete lack of horror?  Uhhhh, yeah? Check?

Yet another well-written little fantasy story that should have gone onto PodCastle because it's not horror - by that I mean, the author is not trying to scare or disturb us...or even weird us out.

The townspeople are happy.  Some are even making out with the risen dead so they can't be hideous or anything.  The Indians are, at least, stoic (although as someone points out on the outside comment board - don't they get to see *their* dead in the paltry minutes an eclipse takes?).  The main character is left sad and angry because she doesn't get to share in the miracle but we don't know why...and we're not going to know why because the story is over...so, to what end?

Like I said, well-written.  Nice dialog. Good pacing.  There really should have been an earlier indication as to what time period we were in, as other have also pointed out (and I think dropping the early use of a word like "sandblasting" probably would have helped as well).  The eclipse conceit is a little much - the narrator's friend saw here husband "about a year ago"? Seriously? - but it is a fantasy story and how many natural phenomena do you get to choose from, anyway?

The reader should have actually paused for a moment or two between scene breaks because they were all running together - the sun was setting, had set, was up, etc.

Still, an okay if flawed story but yet another fantasy piece. I don't need gore, I don't need violence, I don't need the supernatural - but what I DO need out of a purported horror story is an indication, even if it's unsuccessful, that the writer intended for the reader to be frightened or disturbed.  That's all.

Thanks for listening.
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Gail Madonia “Acid Soap Opera” (1971)



« Last Edit: August 06, 2008, 12:57:11 AM by Sgarre1 »



deflective

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Reply #14 on: August 07, 2008, 08:32:05 AM
Yet another well-written little fantasy story that should have gone onto PodCastle because it's not horror - by that I mean, the author is not trying to scare or disturb us...or even weird us out.
...
Still, an okay if flawed story but yet another fantasy piece. I don't need gore, I don't need violence, I don't need the supernatural - but what I DO need out of a purported horror story is an indication, even if it's unsuccessful, that the writer intended for the reader to be frightened or disturbed.  That's all.

i've been following your comments with interest Sgarre1 and i'm glad that you've caught up with current episodes.

recently we've been getting a lot of comments from people that question an episode's genre. this isn't a new trend and it certainly isn't restricted to podcastle but its been a thick patch. actually, it's a little unfair that i'm replying to your post since it's laid out better than the norm but it's in front of me.

i've eventually come around to this way of thinking: it's a good thing that editors choose the best available stories even if it stretches the boundaries of their genre. i forget who first said it. the most recent pseudopod and podcastle probably would have been more at home on the other podcast but we got both so it seems to all work out.

of course, it can be fun to compare & debate your personal definition of a genre with others. you could probably follow the arc of several users as they go through the phase of explaining why individual episodes don't qualify, eventually giving a general definition of the genre, and then gradually stop commenting about it.

my personal definition is broader than most. i'm willing to classify most stories that concentrate on a negative aspect of human existence as a type of horror. in ways, Dostoevsky has disturbed me more than any genre writer.

this episode focuses on the loss of those closest to you and the general truth that you can't really know anybody completely. it could have been darker but it's enough for me.



DKT

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Reply #15 on: August 07, 2008, 01:37:03 PM
Yet another well-written little fantasy story that should have gone onto PodCastle because it's not horror - by that I mean, the author is not trying to scare or disturb us...or even weird us out.
...
Still, an okay if flawed story but yet another fantasy piece. I don't need gore, I don't need violence, I don't need the supernatural - but what I DO need out of a purported horror story is an indication, even if it's unsuccessful, that the writer intended for the reader to be frightened or disturbed.  That's all.

i've been following your comments with interest Sgarre1 and i'm glad that you've caught up with current episodes.

recently we've been getting a lot of comments from people that question an episode's genre.

To be fair, I don't know that it's really a recent trend.  People have been asking "Is this horror?" probably since around Episode 2 (the story about the writing workshop).  Deflective's pretty much got it nailed.  Pseudopod definitely has a broad definition of horror as a genre which typically makes me happy.  The "Is it horror" or "It's not horror" discussion is starting to feel like the "Is it SF" discussions we used to have on EP. 


ieDaddy

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Reply #16 on: August 08, 2008, 06:17:13 PM


I had to wonder at the ending of the story, I kept waiting for what I missed. It was not really horror other than if you take into account the dead people rising - and even that wasn’t zombie like.

It would have been nice to have seen a price the people had to pay - for example, the dead rise, visit their living, but in exchange for this one of the living has to return with the dead each time. And they could have had a lottery or just randomly picked someone who was dragged back to the cemetery - never to be heard from again. Better yet, they would sacrifice one of the new villagers who didn’t know what was going on. This could have gone a lot of ways, happy ending was not what I was looking for though.

I didn’t see how the reverend fit into the story either, other than to fill out the word count - he shows up in the beginning - suit looking brand new - and then just goes away. Like that old writing rule - if you show the reader a gun in the first couple chapters, it better go off by the end of the book. I kept waiting for where mr. new suit was going to come back into the story. I thought maybe he was going to end up being a supernatural being that eats the souls of the dead (which is why some dead don’t come back) or was going to end up showing up to the heathen gathering and shooting the Indian medicine man as a devil worshiper - thus ending the dead visiting forever in the name of religion and righteousness.

In order for this to be disturbing, I felt like there had to be some price to pay that would leave the villagers with a moral issue, rather than just a gift from the Indians. Whether it was a living person going back with the dead, or a soul being eaten by the preacher - instead of just “Look, it’s some dead people come for a visit, huzzah!”

Maybe I just need my horror to be a little less subtle than this piece appears to be.



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Reply #17 on: August 12, 2008, 12:27:42 PM
I liked ieDaddy's suggestion.

The story felt amateurish throughout most of it, as if the author kept hitting the thesaurus and kept trying to refine the writing to the point of diminishing returns.  The idea was interesting.  I would've liked a little more scene-setting as to the year that all this was happening -- you kind of get an idea, but a little more exactitude would've been welcome.

The reader was good, but the reading needed more pauses.  When we went from Doc leaving Selena at her door to the big to-do before the eclipse, I was lost for a good 15 seconds before I realized there was no pause.

I kind of got the feeling Selena was in a bit of a relationship with Doc, or had been at some point until Gavin had died/been killed.  He seemed a bit TOO familiar.

The reverend was an unnecessary touch; he never comes back, he doesn't further the plot, and we could've just had Selena walk down the street and remember that Doc was close to the Miwok.

This story needed more work on the plot and less work on the writing.

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eytanz

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Reply #18 on: August 12, 2008, 06:24:53 PM

I kind of got the feeling Selena was in a bit of a relationship with Doc, or had been at some point until Gavin had died/been killed.  He seemed a bit TOO familiar.

I got the feeling that Doc was sort of a local universal father-figure, and that this explained his over-familiarity. I certainly did not get the impression Selena was ever involved with him.

Quote
The reverend was an unnecessary touch; he never comes back, he doesn't further the plot, and we could've just had Selena walk down the street and remember that Doc was close to the Miwok.

I think that that reverend was meant to provide an ambiguous clue - one the one had, he calls Selena "miss", which raises the question of why he doesn't treat her as if she was married. On the other hand, his general demeanor was off-putting enough that we're supposed to think that maybe he simply disapproves of her husband or something like that.

I agree that whatever his purpose, though, it was not particularly succesful.



Sgarre1

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Reply #19 on: August 13, 2008, 02:08:33 AM
Quote
i've eventually come around to this way of thinking: it's a good thing that editors choose the best available stories even if it stretches the boundaries of their genre. i forget who first said it. the most recent pseudopod and 1. podcastle probably would have been more at home on the other podcast but we got both so it seems to all work out.

of course, it can be fun to compare & debate your personal definition of a genre with others. you could probably follow the arc of several users as they go through the phase of explaining why individual episodes don't qualify, eventually giving a general definition of the genre, and then gradually stop commenting about it.

my personal definition is broader than most. i'm willing to classify most stories that concentrate on a negative aspect of human existence as a type of horror. in ways, Dostoevsky has disturbed me more than any genre writer.

this episode focuses on the loss of those closest to you and the general truth that you can't really know anybody completely. it could have been darker but it's enough for me.

While I can see your point, I guess I just don't agree in the particular.  I'll skip the stuff about the fun of comparing and debating - I've been reading this type of stuff for 40 years, have worked in an editorial position scouting same for a bit and pretty much know my own mind.

The short version I gave (which I consider fairly broad myself) is the one I use - it all comes back to overall intent.  Moments in Dostoevsky's CRIME AND PUNISHMENT, Gogol's DEAD SOULS or Balzac's ILLUSIONS PERDUES may be horrifying but the overall intent, the goal of the work, is outside of horror.  If I remember correctly, this approach to defining the genre is just cribbed from Lovecraft's "Supernatural Horror In Literature", so I'm not claiming any personal breakthrough here.  I guess I find “negative aspects
of human existence” perhaps a little too wide, casting the net into areas like police procedural. Something like DRAGNET or LAW & ORDER may have “negative aspects of human existence” in the story because they deal with crime but, in the end, their overall intent and tone is designed to be reassuring - the law works, criminals get punished. A conte cruel on the other hand, which also usually has no elements of the fantastic -  just crime or violence, still falls into horror because its overall intent is to disturb you with how the mind works and what humans are capable of.

I mean, no one's claiming the story is horror because it involves the risen dead, I assume (obviously, because then the Bible is horror - and no, that wasn't a straight line. I ain't Bud Abbott)?  I guess for me it's just that the ending is either so subtle that I'm missing it, or obtuse to the detriment of it's overall effect.  The story seems to be asking, then , “if you could talk to the dead that you missed,
wouldn’t you be really angry and sad if you couldn’t?”  Which can really only be answered with a “well... yeah” because that’s the situation every single person in the world (barring your religious convictions or belief in channelers) finds themselves in.

So the genre element, oddly,  is introduced merely to put the protagonist in exactly everyone’s normal situation.  I guess you could argue that the purpose then is to use that contrast to throw light on what we all, as human beings, have to deal with when we deal with death - except not much is made of that at all, it seems to me.  The protagonist gets upset and angry, like everyone does when they lose a loved one, just moreso because she had the possibility of an option that we don’t have.  So how would you feel if you had the option she is supposed to have (but doesn’t get to use)?  According to the story, pretty much exactly how you’d feel in real life (where you didn’t have the option in the first place).

Pretty much, I think you could put almost any story that has a “unreal” element in it into Podcastle and it would be fine - because the mere existence of that element makes the story “fantasy” and Fantasy is the broadest genre ( I won’t get into science fiction here because I’m not that big of a sci-fi fan to begin with, my tastes tend to stray towards the humanistic sci-fi of Bradbury or the outre practitioners like
Ballard or W.S. Burroughs).  I could see a story with horror elements but an undefined focus as going into Podcastle, and I could see a “miraculous technology” sf story going there as well.  In essence, Podcastle seems like it should be your default for excursions in the vaguer terrains of genre. And that’s great, really.

But I don’t think it’s merely subjective or over-defining to expect that a story in a venue labeled as horror (“the web’s premiere audio horror”) should, in its overall focus, intend to disturb the reader/listener (I excuse the horror-comedies because I understand why it ends up here).  And I didn’t feel those parameters were met by, or even the intent of, HOMECOMING (which, I repeat, I thought had some good things going for it, even with the muddled ending) or A PLACE OF SNOW ANGELS (or whatever that one was called).

I gave it one last listen just to make sure and here's the only thing I can come up with - he's not coming back because of HER, not anything else.  She fears his not returning immediately, as the story opens, and then comes up with excuses as the story progresses.  If that's the case, well, that could be pretty good (I like my horror subtle, more of a fan of Robert Aickman than splatterpunk) and I don't need it spelled out, but I gotta say it again, either that's really subtle or just too obtuse.

I appreciate all the time you guys must spend on all the pods and there has been a marked improvement in story quality over the last 9 months or so on Pseudopod (and, of course, it would be stupid to assume I'd like everything - even I'm not that dumb).  But, if nothing else, the use of genre as a marketing tag maybe should be considered - people with no previous experience will come here looking for a scary story and they may not always get it, that's fine and I'm right there with you about there being many varieties of horror, but too many weeks in a row with stories that seem like perfectly adequate fantasy and you may lose the casual listener.

Thanks for listening
“Why should not a writer be permitted to make use of the levers of fear, terror and horror because some feeble soul here and there finds it more than it can bear? Shall there be no strong meat at table because there happen to be some guests there whose stomachs are weak, or who have spoiled their own digestions?”
E.T.A. Hoffmann, “Aurelia” (1819-1820)



Myrealana

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Reply #20 on: August 19, 2008, 07:07:40 PM
I found this story hard to follow. Even by the end, I wasn't entirely sure what happened or why. Did the preacher mean something? Did this town experience the dead coming back on a regular basis? Total solar ecpises are pretty rare - a frontier town would hardly have been around long enough for people to live through enough to know the dead were coming back. What was it Selena's husband did that all the others didn't?

I have to give this one a thumbs-down.

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Unblinking

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Reply #21 on: October 23, 2009, 07:09:59 PM
This one annoyed me more than it entertained.

1.  As several people have pointed out, solar eclipses, at least if you are in a single stationary location, are very rare.  If I understand it correctly, they're not that particularly rare if you can travel to their location, as they pop up here and there periodically.  But if you're in one place that's not going to happen.
--Not that this is the only story that's completely ignored this simple astronomical fact.  Heroes Season 3 relied heavily on it.  Heroes season 1 used the eclipse as a signal, but there I got the impression that the eclipse was only happening in New York City area.  Then another eclipse happens in Season 3 as a major plot point, which is probably only a few months in plot-time, and not only that but it is GLOBAL.  Characters in South America, Texas, and NYC all experience it.  Seriously--two seconds researching eclipses would've shown how wrong that is!

2.  At the beginning, nothing happened.  Then in the middle, nothing happened.  Then, in the end, nothing happened.  Not exactly riveting.  I thought about turning it off in mid-story, but I gave it a chance.

3.  It really bugs me when a POV character knows something VITAL but does not tell me simply for the purposes of a twist ending.  So so so annoying.  Clearly both she and everyone else knew her husband died and that his ghost was expected back, and no attempt was made to make this clear.  The protagonist withholding information does not work well for me, only serving to distance me from whatever connection I may have had from the characters.  Keep in mind this is separate from an "unreliable narrator" story, which I tend to really enjoy.  The difference is that an unreliable narrator has a reason for not giving all the information, whether he is covering up the truth (like The Usual Suspects), is unable to understand what is going on (like the early chapters of Flowers for Algernon), or because the lying itself serves to characterize (like Big Fish).  Here there was no reason that came from the character, it was just the author trying to pull a fast one on me. 



Millenium_King

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Reply #22 on: July 13, 2010, 10:59:56 PM
This one was okay.  I liked the unique setting (how many stories really get set during frontier times anyway?) and, despite myself, I liked the little "twist" ending where the definition of "homecoming" was stood on its head.  Normally, I'm against this sort of withheld information, but I think it worked here.

However, the story definately ended far too soon.  Leaving the reason Serena's husband could not come home up in the air left too many questions unanswered.  It felt like act 1 of a 3 act play.

Secondly, the use of language was clumsy in more than a few areas.  Repetition of certain words and/or phrases in close proximity was jarring (sun, smiled slightly, Serena).  The sentence structure stayed relatively homogenized and dull.  Nothing stood out.

I do love a story that starts with a description of the weather, however.

GREAT narration.

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