In a way, I am glad that Ellen (our friendly neighborhood slushpile reader) stepped in offer her interpretation of this piece. Her comments helped me solidify my own opinion: basically, although the narration and imagery were strong, this piece felt like the sort of overly pretentious, "high-brow," modern-lit piece that you need a microscope and a lesson from Jaques Derrida to get any sort of thrill from. In short: it's the sort of thing that allows a lit-crit satire like House of Leaves to exist.
No offense to Ellen or anyone else who liked this piece intended, but from where I sat it was just a mess of imagery that led up to the same anti-climax all nihilistic pieces lead to: the world is hopeless, everything is terrible, you can't change it, then you die. Whoopie.
WARNING: EDITORIALIZING AHEAD
I usually try to keep my editorializing to a minimum, but this sort of piece is obviously inviting it, so I feel a little might be appropriate. Nihilism is a funny thing, and I think it (in its pure state) fails to elicite horror since - ironically - it undoes itself.
Nihilistic tenant #1: The world is a cruel, random, unfair place.
Yes, but this is a matter of perspective. It is only cruel because we expect kindness, it is only random because we expect order, it is only unfair because we expect justice. There is a sort of freedom which can be found in accepting a rudderless, amoral cosmos. Far from grinding one down into cynicism, it can awken a true lust for life - since that is all we have, after all - eventually the "boy hits the wall, right?"
Nihilistic tenant #2: You will die
Yes, but mortal death happens to us all. Just like eating, drinking, sleeping and farting - we cannot avoid it - so why be so afraid? I like horror where the fear comes from a gradual dread of something truly terrifying - not from the revelation: "Boo! You're gonna die someday!"
Anyway, I write all of this here only to show how I felt this story failed (for me, anyway). When the horror vanishes with only a few degrees drift in perspective, I don't consider it an effective scare. It's tries so hard to conjure up a fear of inevitability, but why not just answer "so what?" How come none of the kids figured out that there is no way to avoid that oncoming semi-truck of death? Why turn away into the blackness of the night? Why not just face the headlights, crack a beer, light a smoke and have a party while you still can? After all, at least you'll be in the light.
Anyway, please remember: these are just my opinions.