With this one, Steve's description actually threw me off. When he said it was "YAMiLSF" (is that what we're calling it? That's the kind of acronym that creates physical anguish as you say it.), I was intrigued. But as soon as the protagonist gave her reasoning for not wearing the navy armbands, there was this rush of wistfulness. I suddenly wished the story had started some time earlier, so that this character would not feel so distant, just suddenly the Rebel, with no history or detail.
The reader was told what she felt, what she thought, what she did, but there was very little communication directly from Marie herself. In fact, just now I had to look up her name before I wrote that, because I forgot what it was . I just stopped seeing her as a person.
Which... wait. There was that one line, about how to join the military, you had to give up some of yourself to become part of something bigger.
And suddenly this story got ten times more interesting to me.