Author Topic: PC Miniature 29: Birthday Wish  (Read 3942 times)

Heradel

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PC Miniature 29: Birthday Wish
« on: April 03, 2009, 01:16:21 PM »
PodCastle Miniature 29: Birthday Wish

By Tina Connolly.
Read by Grammar Girl.

Mrs. Lemons stroked her son’s hair. “Joshua is very mature,” she said. “He’s not like those other ten-year-old boys.”

“Of course,” said Mrs. Dumpling. “My Benji is an angel, too. Benji, stop kicking their cat. Isn’t Joshua’s cake lovely?”

“Yes,” agreed Mrs. Lemons. “We’re so excited for his wish. We’ve talked of nothing else for months. Joshua, stop eating those candles. It will be perfect.”

Rated PG. Contains ten-year-old boys, and thusly some gross-out humor.

This piece won an honorable mention in the Escape Pod flash fiction contest for stories under 300 words. (Contest thread here)
« Last Edit: April 03, 2009, 01:33:24 PM by Heradel »
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Listener

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Re: PC Miniature 29: Birthday Wish
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2009, 04:56:21 PM »
This was cute. It had kind of a Terry Pratchett fable feel to it, where I get the feeling that Joshua just wished for silence. I suppose that's the point of the story -- WHAT did he wish for, exactly? -- but it was done in a way that was not gimmicky.

The ending would've SOUNDED better had there been more of a pause before the last line.
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thomasowenm

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Re: PC Miniature 29: Birthday Wish
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2009, 09:54:24 PM »
I liked it but I wish there was some indication of what Joshua wished for, my first inclination is that he wished to win his bet and his nose exploded with a load of candles.  It needed something so we could reach the conclusion the author wished us to.  Overall a good quick story read well by GG, but like Listener I agree the ending needed a dramatic pause.

MacArthurBug

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Re: PC Miniature 29: Birthday Wish
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2009, 02:43:31 PM »
Fun little story. And the whole: "What did he wish for?" aspect was great.
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Re: PC Miniature 29: Birthday Wish
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2009, 08:31:06 PM »
Chalk up another "Podcastle Lost Episode" ... as in, this one was lost on me. 

"It wasn't world peace" ... duh, did anybody seriously think it would be? 

And mothers yammering about their kids is something I find annoying in any circumstance -- I usually counter with stories about my cats if the situation allows. 
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Loz

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Re: PC Miniature 29: Birthday Wish
« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2009, 10:34:24 AM »
WHAT did he wish for, exactly?

I thought he wished that he could eat whatever he wanted to, hence the two women having names of things that could be eaten. Or perhaps that was unrelated whimsy on the writer's part, none of the other wishes mentioned seemed to be retroactive, people remembered cars even if they now had to drive dinosaurs.

A fun little story that quite charmed me on my way to the launderette this morning.

GreatAuntMaude

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Re: PC Miniature 29: Birthday Wish
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2009, 09:46:25 PM »
...
The ending would've SOUNDED better had there been more of a pause before the last line.

Seconded. 

GAM

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Re: PC Miniature 29: Birthday Wish
« Reply #7 on: December 15, 2009, 05:23:56 PM »
I wish for an ending.

It was an interesting scenario set up, though I've seen similar ones before.  I like some incomplete endings, where I'm left to decide the rest, but in this one the worldbuilding happened pretty much right away, and then the only question was what he'd wish for.  And then he didn't, so it was a let-down.