PC053: Change of Life

[LadyIndigo]

I don't really understand why people have to announce that they're so bothered by free entertainment they'll be taking their ball and  going home.  This forum's for critiques of the story, that's all great, but cookies broke the camel's back?  Okay, I guess.

I liked this story a lot, and I never read it as what happened needing to be some kind of twist.  It was watching the mom enter the state of quasi-psychosis that was affecting for me, and the family dynamic that resulted.  The way families interact, fray, and reunite is really complex psychology, and this story pulled it off very well in my opinion.

[DarkKnightJRK]

I liked it--for it's pretty predictable plot, the family situation was very relatable--the mom here kinda reminds me of my own; so if I don't comment any time soon, it's because I've been turned into a kitty.

One nitpick--I doubt there's any hippie enclaves in Arizona. Trust me, I live there, the enclaves we tend to get are either neo-nazis or the survivalists in the woods.

[Unblinking]

I also didn't like the intro.  I like cookies, but they don't make a good intro for a story that has no cookies in it.  Maybe it would've worked well for "Through the Cooking Glass"--except that was a short with no intro, I guess.

On the subject of intros and outros, HMM summed up my feelings pretty well.  I like an intro to be relevant to the story but in a tangential way, plus the plugs for the author's other work and where this story has been published before, that sort of thing.  And then the outro can point out all kinds of spoiler-stuff and analyze to the heart's content!

This story was all right, though it was a little unclear why the kids didn't disappear right away, instead of all disappearing simultaneously when the parrot showed up.  There didn't seem to be any internal logic for that.

It was a fun idea, and I enjoyed the writing, but the resolution of having the neighbor come over and chat didn't really seem any different than just the kids talking to her...  I mean, when the narrator pointed out flaws in Mom's reasoning, she just went blank and didn't respond, so why didn't Mom do the same when the neighbor told her?

And, despite the title and the father's insistence that her behavior was due to her "change of life", I thought it was clear in the story that this wasn't just menopause that was occurring.  Roughly translated, his explanation comes out to "I have no idea why she's acting that way.  I don't understand, so I guess it must be "a woman thing".  And she's about the right age for menopause, so I guess that must be it!"  "Mystery solved!" he says, and washes his hands of it.

[Malapropos de Rien]

So they all reappeared, and everyone's happy, right?  What about the military?  That one son's disappearance caused him to be AWOL.

[yicheng]

One nitpick--I doubt there's any hippie enclaves in Arizona. Trust me, I live there, the enclaves we tend to get are either neo-nazis or the survivalists in the woods.

I lived there too.  And yes there are hippie enclaves. If you don't believe me, drive south I-10 from Phoenix to Tucson until you see a sign for Arcosanti.  It was a project started in the 70's by Paolo Soleri (student of the great Frank Lloyd Wright) to build the first ever Arcology.  It's pretty much entirely made of hippies now.  There's also a bunch up near Sedona and Flag.

[Fenrix]

One nitpick--I doubt there's any hippie enclaves in Arizona. Trust me, I live there, the enclaves we tend to get are either neo-nazis or the survivalists in the woods.

I lived there too.  And yes there are hippie enclaves. If you don't believe me, drive south I-10 from Phoenix to Tucson until you see a sign for Arcosanti.  It was a project started in the 70's by Paolo Soleri (student of the great Frank Lloyd Wright) to build the first ever Arcology.  It's pretty much entirely made of hippies now.  There's also a bunch up near Sedona and Flag.

I expect they have even more hippies now with the burn culture dragging more folks out to the desert every year. Someone's VW minibus is bound to break down on the way back and they root where they stop. Gotta watch out for those hippy infestations. Once they get established spraying and baited traps lose a lot of effectiveness.