Kind Sir, I beg of you, hear me out before rejecting me out of hand. Whilst your orations were sub par in their origins, you have greatly increased their quality. On occasion I find fault in your technical performance, I rarely see fit to criticize your material.
There is, however, one request that I have. Every week I hear You utter the phrase, "I have a story for you, and I promise you it's true." Oh, what joy these words bring me! I know that, in most likelihood, I will shortly be hearing a piece of audio fiction of the highest quality. Pseudopod brings me tales of the dark fantastic and for that I am most grateful.
My request is not such a great one. The effort involved would be minimal. Yay, though this is true, I feel unworthy to put forth my solicitation. Woe is the burden upon my soul for even dreaming that You would deign to listen to my plea, much less grant it.
Oh mighty Orator of the Dark Fantastic, hear my plea and grant this unworthy disciple one simple request. I beg of You, please do not turn me away for my audacity. I shall do penance for addressing You directly. I am but an unworthy slug in Your awe inspiring Garden of Evil. Yes, should You wish it, I would slay millions of innocents and use their blood to water Your carnivorous flora.
I beseech Thee to utter but four further words. It is not so great a feat for One so great as Yourself.
No! No! I cannot ask Thee for anything. I am unworthy. Forgive me for disturbing one as powerful as Yourself.
I will go do penance now. If one hundred self applied lashes is not enough, tell me, oh Great one!
