I'm surprised how many people are tagging this as Lovecraft derivative (points to Eytanz for name-checking Lord Dunsany, however) when the real inspiration seems to me to be Clark Ashton Smith - specifically Zothique (apparent through what might be considered anachronistic details like "repeating rifles" and "newspapers").
That having been said - had I heard this a few years ago, I probably would have had my standard reaction to a genre piece like this: my tastes in Fantasy are very specific and usually don't encompass much Heroic Fantasy (to which this is related) or the subgenre (or sub-sub genre) of Sword & Sorcery (which is what this is). I have great respect for those genres but they don't usually work for me personally, even more so in attempting to evoke fright. However, two things would temper that reaction - over the last few years, in an effort to explore my way out what I think are the modern dead-ends of horror fiction, I've been doing some related readings and, relevant to this, those include the varied Decadent literary movements of the late 19th century (thank you Dedalus Books!). Tying into that, by sheer happenstance I listened to some Clark Ashton Smith readings earlier this year, mostly of Zothique stuff. Smith is fairly prevalent in most Lovecraft circle comps so I'd read him many times before but, as I said, the whole sword & sorcery shtick is not my bag. But hearing him read, I realized two things - one, my tolerance for writing in this style goes up dramatically. The use (which some modern readers, myself included, misread as abuse) of language and arcane names are best served when spoken aloud and run around the tongue like a fine wine. Secondly, and most importantly, what Smith was doing was deliberately merging fantasy tropes with a decadent style at the beginning of the 20th century, so that means overwrought ornamentation, fevered prose, endless multiplication, excess in service of a ripe and humid atmosphere. Decadent writing is like a spicy broth or a soft cheese, overpowering and intoxicating and not to be consumed too often. It uses the tools of Romanticism but in a rejection of Classicism.
And a lot of modern readers have been trained to believe that this is an incorrect way to write, instead of understanding that at its best (an important qualifier), this is just another way of writing which usually strikes a sour note to the modern ear. It can be, and has been, done badly, and will continue to be. It is very difficult to do well and, an argument can be made, no one has really attempted an updating since Michael Moorcock (that I'm aware of).
Regarding this story, I felt the author did a fairly solid take on Smith/Moorcock dark fantasy decadence. It seemed like Clark Ashton Smith writing a variation of H.G. Wells' "The Pearl Of Love". Perhaps it might have been a better fit for Podcastle, but part of the point of Pseudopod is to offer up a variety of styles in horror fiction, and very few people like (or should be expected to like) all styles. But exposure leads to awareness and awareness can lead to acceptance and perhaps even attraction. The didactic ending, again, is par for the course for these things, as they tend to have a fable-like structure. But if that doesn't work for you, that's absolutely fine, I'm just noting that it would be a mistake to consider it a mistake - it's a stylistic choice.
As an addendum: of Clark Ashton Smith's fiction I've loved "The Gorgon" and liked "A Rendezvous In Averoigne", "The Disinterment of Venus", "The Mandrakes", "The Ninth Skeleton", "The Plutonian Drug" and "The Seed From The Sepulcher". There's lots of his stuff I don't like. Overwrought still has to come in small doses for me (like a bon-bon laced with opium) and can easily go on for too long. The readings that impressed me recently were of "The Maze of Maâl Dweb" and "The Empire Of the Necromancers".
