Author Topic: Jennifer stood there, quietly ovulating.  (Read 8273 times)

Boggled Coriander

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on: April 16, 2010, 12:24:13 AM
As I've mentioned before, the Lyttle Lytton contest has the ability to reduce me to a helpless, giggling mass for several minutes on end.

The 2010 winners are out.  My day has already gotten off to a good start.  Here are some of my favorites (though without Adam's wonderful commentary):

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“You are the greatest human in the world,” the dragon told the boy who desperately wanted to be a dragon, too.

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“Hearken,” he spake, drawing thither, “and alight thine eyes on yon comely maiden betwixt such knaves as they.”

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“Great Caesar’s Ghost!” Amy sputtered. “What glorious lovemaking!”

"The meteor formed a crater, vampires crawling out of the crater." -  The Lyttle Lytton contest


Heradel

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Reply #1 on: April 16, 2010, 12:37:13 AM
The 2010 winners are out.  My day has already gotten off to a good start.

And they look like a good way for me to end mine, thanks.

I Twitter. I also occasionally blog on the Escape Pod blog, which if you're here you shouldn't have much trouble finding.


Talia

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Reply #2 on: April 16, 2010, 01:28:54 AM
"Tuesday. Africa. Lion o’clock. "

I must say, I think the right writer could make a hell of a story from that :P



(Jesus christ its Lion o'clock, get in the car!)



stePH

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Reply #3 on: April 16, 2010, 04:52:39 PM
Quote
“Hearken,” he spake, drawing thither, “and alight thine eyes on yon comely maiden betwixt such knaves as they.”

Is that from one of Robert Jordan's books?  :D

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-- some guy interviewed in Nerdcore Rising


stePH

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Reply #4 on: April 17, 2010, 06:41:27 PM
This one is brilliant... the comment really makes it.

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Once upon a time, there was a talking lamp whose lightbulb fell out and hit a person and the person got shocked and destroyed everything.   Megan Groppe

This is such an uncanny recreation of the way five-year-olds tell stories that I assume that the Axe Cop audience would buy up the entire first printing.


"Nerdcore is like playing Halo while getting a blow-job from Hello Kitty."
-- some guy interviewed in Nerdcore Rising


Bdoomed

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Reply #5 on: April 17, 2010, 06:59:06 PM
My favorite is this one, and the comment makes it better.  It's from 2008.
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Under Bob’s fez was another.

Jeff Marr

I like that one because it feels like it's missing a word, but then it takes a moment to figure out what it would be, and then once you've figured it out you realize that adding it would make the sentence even worse. I don't know why that kind of conundrum amuses me, but it does.

I'd like to hear my options, so I could weigh them, what do you say?
Five pounds?  Six pounds? Seven pounds?


Alasdair5000

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Reply #6 on: April 17, 2010, 07:55:16 PM
"Tuesday. Africa. Lion o’clock. "

I must say, I think the right writer could make a hell of a story from that :P



(Jesus christ its Lion o'clock, get in the car!)

I actually hear Simon Pegg saying this in his action voice from Hot Fuzz:)  'LION'O'CLOCK.'



Planish

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Reply #7 on: May 05, 2010, 03:38:27 AM
My favourite finalist in the Noir genre (many years ago) has something along the lines of "... as his eyes slid slowly down the front of her dress."

Eeuw.

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gateaux

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Reply #8 on: July 02, 2010, 04:18:44 AM
ahahahaha that made my night!



Faraway Ray

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Reply #9 on: July 20, 2010, 04:46:41 PM
Gotta agree that the "lion o'clock" line was bloody awesome.  :)


A story of lust, violence and jelly.

Well, Here I Am. My little slice of the blaggin' world.