Author Topic: The Human Centipede  (Read 3738 times)

wakela

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The Human Centipede
« on: May 11, 2010, 08:53:51 PM »
I stumbled across a review of this movie, and its premise is absolutely, stunningly horrible.  Horror horrible, not bad-movie horrible.  I have no idea if the movie is bad or good (Ebert did not give it a star rating).  I'm sure I won't see it, but the premise has gotten into my head and it won't come out.  Google it if you dare.  It's awful.  I think of it every time I swallow, and to be honest I actually feel a little queasy. 

Scattercat

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Re: The Human Centipede
« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2010, 08:59:17 PM »
It's the cinematic equivalent of that game that five-year-old boys play where they dare each other to think of the grossest thing ever.
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Boggled Coriander

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Re: The Human Centipede
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2010, 12:41:41 AM »
Boy, I hadn't heard of this movie, but wakela and Scattercat's stellar reviews made me seek out a plot summary.

Then I spent a minute with my mouth hanging open, making sounds that could be described as "ewww"s and "urgh"s.
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Scattercat

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Re: The Human Centipede
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2010, 01:15:27 AM »
Just to be clear, I was not being complimentary.  It is childish in all the worst ways; puerile, thoughtless, and without restraint or refinement.
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Boggled Coriander

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Re: The Human Centipede
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2010, 02:31:11 AM »
Just to be clear, I was not being complimentary.  It is childish in all the worst ways; puerile, thoughtless, and without restraint or refinement.

I got that; I was just being flippant there.  Sorry.

For anyone else who is full of curiosity about what we're talking about: Don't go read an unfiltered synopsis.  Instead, read Roger Ebert's "review" (he refuses to give the movie a star rating), which is mildly amusing and inserts another precious layer of separation between you and the horrid movie.
"The meteor formed a crater, vampires crawling out of the crater." -  The Lyttle Lytton contest

stePH

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Re: The Human Centipede
« Reply #5 on: May 16, 2010, 10:52:34 AM »
I read the review in the Willamette Week, which doesn't seem to be available online, so I present it here:
Quote from: Chris Stamm
I was afraid I wouldn't have the stomach for a film about a deranged surgeon who kidnaps tourists and sews them together, ass-to-mouth-to-ass-to-mouth, into a "Siamese triplet" of shared digestion, but I needn't have worried because director Tom Six was the gutless one all along.  I've seen more disturbing anal play on YouPorn - the acting is better there too.  It is appropriate that a film so fixated on coprophagia its itself a kind of sagging colostomy bag of shitty horror film cliches: the dark country road, the naive girls, the flat tire, the dead cell phone, the failed escape, and the hallway chase all slither out of The Human Centipede's clenched asshole at some point.  Boredom sets in long before Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser), a fey Mengele in shades, puts the finishing touches on his very German masterpiece, which, it turns out, is not gross or shocking at all.  With bandages hiding the grisly grafts, the titular creature resembles, more or less, a very intense version of that party game where people pass an orange arount the room with their chins.  Not for one second does Six's meager film attain the transcendentally morbid heights of Nacho Cerda's Aftermath or Takashi Miike's finer moments of bloodletting.  In the parlance of our times: torture porn FAIL.


...actually, it is there, just not where I was looking for it, and it was apparently rewritten for the print version.

http://wweek.com/editorial/3626/14000/
« Last Edit: May 16, 2010, 11:02:38 AM by stePH »
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MacBean

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Re: The Human Centipede
« Reply #6 on: June 07, 2010, 03:05:06 AM »
Way to judge without being familiar with the material! Awesome! Thumbs way up, guys! And the reason why it's a torture porn fail? Yeah, that's because it wasn't trying to be torture porn. Don't get me wrong. It's far from a cinematic masterpiece. But it's not any of the things Scattercat calls it, especially "thoughtless."
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Scattercat

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Re: The Human Centipede
« Reply #7 on: June 07, 2010, 10:41:25 AM »
I read an interview with the director.  I stand by my opinions.
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stePH

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Re: The Human Centipede
« Reply #8 on: June 08, 2010, 12:06:45 AM »
I merely reposted a review by somebody who has watched the movie.  I need no excuses.
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birdless

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Re: The Human Centipede
« Reply #9 on: November 11, 2010, 10:38:21 AM »
For a hilarious, totally-spoiler synopsis of the film, check out Daniel Tosh's play by play.

Even if you hate Tosh, i think you'll appreciate this. I thought it was funny, anyway.

AliceNred

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Re: The Human Centipede
« Reply #10 on: December 11, 2010, 05:34:34 PM »
I watch horror almost every day and this came up in Netflixs. Loved the cover. Thought it was creepy.

I often watch movies, like the same way I read, over and over. This one is not one I will watching again. Not that I hated it, but I didn't love it either. If it had been more than a doc who was twisted and had a strange fetish for sub-servant people and pooh, than it might have been a good movie instead of okay.

The acting was good and how it was made. But it takes more than that for a movie to be good.

Not buying this movie, nor am I recommending it. Anyone who I might recommend it to, I am not sure I'd like to be freinds with, and I did zombies and serial killers.
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