Author Topic: PC128: Something Wicked This Way Plumbs  (Read 28063 times)

DKT

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Reply #25 on: November 01, 2010, 04:45:28 AM


No, I'm serious.
I put a lot of thought and effort into that post, and I even had something intelligent and complimentary to say.
So mods, where did it go?

I really don't think any of the mods deleted your post. If so, they would've left you a note about it.

Some of the forum software has been acting up recently, but this is the first I've heard of a post actually disappearing. Feel free to hit me up with a PM if you want to talk about it more.


Heradel

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Reply #26 on: November 01, 2010, 11:13:07 AM


No, I'm serious.
I put a lot of thought and effort into that post, and I even had something intelligent and complimentary to say.
So mods, where did it go?

I really don't think any of the mods deleted your post. If so, they would've left you a note about it.

Some of the forum software has been acting up recently, but this is the first I've heard of a post actually disappearing. Feel free to hit me up with a PM if you want to talk about it more.

I certainly didn't, and I still see a post of yours on the first page of this thread, you're not referring to that one?

I Twitter. I also occasionally blog on the Escape Pod blog, which if you're here you shouldn't have much trouble finding.


Max e^{i pi}

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Reply #27 on: November 01, 2010, 11:43:41 AM


No, I'm serious.
I put a lot of thought and effort into that post, and I even had something intelligent and complimentary to say.
So mods, where did it go?

I really don't think any of the mods deleted your post. If so, they would've left you a note about it.

Some of the forum software has been acting up recently, but this is the first I've heard of a post actually disappearing. Feel free to hit me up with a PM if you want to talk about it more.

I certainly didn't, and I still see a post of yours on the first page of this thread, you're not referring to that one?
I am referring to that one, and I can't see it! (see attached screenshot of the topic summary)(Oh, it wouldn't attach.)
Anyway, if we're talking about bugy software forum:
a) Whenever I post it double posts and lets me know about it. I ignore it.
b) Doesn't this deserve its own thread?


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DKT

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Reply #28 on: November 01, 2010, 01:10:03 PM
Double posting as it's own thread here.


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Reply #29 on: November 01, 2010, 01:36:51 PM
I meant, if it came from outer space, did it ride down in the shuttle's toilet? I don't think so, it's an air compressor!
If it has its own space ship, where is it?

Also, where did my post go?

I figured it wasn't really a space alien, that it was more of a creature of the deep.  The protagonist discounts the possibility of a monster, but only on the logic that monsters can't exist, yet he doesn't wonder why a space alien would be able to exist in our atmosphere, how an alien got into the pipes, how the alien could create candy, how it could rely on such primitive food finding methods when it had master interstellar travel.  It makes sense to me for the protagonist to THINK it's an alien, but I don't think it really was.



Heradel

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Reply #30 on: November 01, 2010, 04:00:22 PM


No, I'm serious.
I put a lot of thought and effort into that post, and I even had something intelligent and complimentary to say.
So mods, where did it go?

I really don't think any of the mods deleted your post. If so, they would've left you a note about it.

Some of the forum software has been acting up recently, but this is the first I've heard of a post actually disappearing. Feel free to hit me up with a PM if you want to talk about it more.

I certainly didn't, and I still see a post of yours on the first page of this thread, you're not referring to that one?
I am referring to that one, and I can't see it! (see attached screenshot of the topic summary)(Oh, it wouldn't attach.)

Re: the screen-capture — I can't see that line where it indicates that you had a post when I look, so I'm not entirely sure what happened. Wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility for the MySQL database to have made an error. Sorry about this.

I Twitter. I also occasionally blog on the Escape Pod blog, which if you're here you shouldn't have much trouble finding.


Max e^{i pi}

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Reply #31 on: November 01, 2010, 06:34:20 PM
I meant, if it came from outer space, did it ride down in the shuttle's toilet? I don't think so, it's an air compressor!
If it has its own space ship, where is it?

Also, where did my post go?

I figured it wasn't really a space alien, that it was more of a creature of the deep.  The protagonist discounts the possibility of a monster, but only on the logic that monsters can't exist, yet he doesn't wonder why a space alien would be able to exist in our atmosphere, how an alien got into the pipes, how the alien could create candy, how it could rely on such primitive food finding methods when it had master interstellar travel.  It makes sense to me for the protagonist to THINK it's an alien, but I don't think it really was.

Oh even better.
I'm reading Peter Watts' Starfish now, and I have huge submarine monsters on the brain.
Maybe this creature came from the depths, found its way into a sewage outlet and up into the water system.
Of course, if it came from very var below it would explode in lower pressure, so....

Wouldn't be outside the realm of possibility for the MySQL database to have made an error. Sorry about this.

Do other people see my original post? Is it just me?

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Wilson Fowlie

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Reply #32 on: November 01, 2010, 08:56:14 PM
You mean this post? :

I really enjoyed this story.
It was cute, and funny, and witty, and the voices were superbly done.
I'm not too worried about where the candy came from. It was a mass hallucination brought on by the telepathic powers of the creature. We never hear of it traveling too far beyond the bathroom (all the offices seem rather close by). Also, think of the difficulties in getting gummy bears and candy corn to actually travel through pipes bent and kinky, water-logged pipes.

This offers a plausible answer to a problem I've been speculating on for years.
See, I am one of that weird breed of sub-human males that actually read the instruction manual.
And I'd always assumed that they were translated from Chinese to English via Amharic by a Korean. That was the only reason I could think of that explains the terrible spelling and grammar used.
Now I know it's just the random tentacle pounding of a hungry extra-terrestrial.
It seems much more plausible, somehow.

Also, how did he (she? it?) get here? If it dies so quickly out of water...
That's just a side point and does not detract from my enjoyment of the story. Just a little something to ponder afterwards, and perhaps best left to the readers' imaginations.

I see it.  If you don't, it might be a browser cache issue or something?

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DKT

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Reply #33 on: November 01, 2010, 09:01:08 PM
Thanks for posting it, Wilson. I was having the same issue Heradel was.

Not sure what's happening (I personally blame aliens or deep sea monsters with telepathy) but we're looking into it.


eytanz

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Reply #34 on: November 02, 2010, 12:10:26 PM
I found this one amusing. I got a bit confused by the part with the kids - if a kid went into the bathroom and found the tap, then he would have been eaten, no? And if the problem was the candy that had already come out of there, why not just take it out of the bathroom and use it to distract the kids?

Also, how was the pot used to close the door? I don't think I've ever seen an office building with bathroom doors that open out.

But yeah, I'm overthinking what is obviously supposed to be a fluffy piece. And it worked as that :)



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Reply #35 on: November 02, 2010, 01:37:18 PM
I found this one amusing. I got a bit confused by the part with the kids - if a kid went into the bathroom and found the tap, then he would have been eaten, no? And if the problem was the candy that had already come out of there, why not just take it out of the bathroom and use it to distract the kids?

I think that would be a bad idea.  I'm guessing that wasn't REALLY candy, and that it might even cause paralysis or death.  I would NOT eat that candy or give it to children.



Vylar_Kaftan

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Reply #36 on: November 02, 2010, 02:49:43 PM
Glad you guys liked the story!  Someone mentioned wanting to hear more of my work. Several stories have been podcast on Escape Pod, Podcastle, and Pseudopod.  Also, you can read most of it here:  http://www.vylarkaftan.net/bibliography/

I have some serious work and some lighter work; I like writing both.  Podcastle will do another comic story from me in December.



DKT

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Reply #37 on: November 02, 2010, 03:36:07 PM
Podcastle will do another comic story from me in December.

I think you mean Escape Pod?  ;)


Heradel

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Reply #38 on: November 02, 2010, 03:56:05 PM
Podcastle will do another comic story from me in December.

I think you mean Escape Pod?  ;)

Reports of us publishing in December are groundless rumors.

I Twitter. I also occasionally blog on the Escape Pod blog, which if you're here you shouldn't have much trouble finding.


Vylar_Kaftan

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Reply #39 on: November 02, 2010, 04:08:34 PM
I'm sorry, I just got back from World Fantasy and apparently I left my brain there.  I was confusing several things.  My apologies. 

Podcastle did a short comic piece from me earlier at:  http://podcastle.org/2008/12/



DKT

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Reply #40 on: November 02, 2010, 04:11:04 PM
I'm sorry, I just got back from World Fantasy and apparently I left my brain there.  I was confusing several things.  My apologies. 

Podcastle did a short comic piece from me earlier at:  http://podcastle.org/2008/12/

No worries! Hope you had fun at WFC :)


acpracht

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Reply #41 on: November 02, 2010, 04:29:24 PM
Thank you so much for an episode that explored the fun, playful side of Halloween. It was a great break from all of the other podcasts in October that seemed to be dedicated to scaring the ever-loving crap out of me.



acpracht

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Reply #42 on: November 02, 2010, 04:33:53 PM
This one was quite fun, absurd.  I especially liked the revelation that the candy was child-bait--does it reflect badly on me if I admit that was my first guess?  :)

Where did the creepy-crawly get the candy, though? 



I particularly liked the moment when the main character coughed, prompting a single gummy bear to go shooting out of the drain and hitting the opposite wall.

It's like the creature thought, "Not sure I heard something there, but what the hell... *Poomp!* Please...?"

I imagined that the creature had some sort of way within himself to secrete or create the candy out of its own body. I'd imagine that if he'd had a taste for the narrator, the drains would have - in fact - been shooting out bologna.



acpracht

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Reply #43 on: November 02, 2010, 04:38:41 PM
This offers a plausible answer to a problem I've been speculating on for years.
See, I am one of that weird breed of sub-human males that actually read the instruction manual.
And I'd always assumed that they were translated from Chinese to English via Amharic by a Korean. That was the only reason I could think of that explains the terrible spelling and grammar used.
Now I know it's just the random tentacle pounding of a hungry extra-terrestrial.
It seems much more plausible, somehow.


Hahaha... love this.. :)



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Reply #44 on: November 02, 2010, 08:49:58 PM
This was great, had me laughing aloud on the bus and drawing all kinds of stares.



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Reply #45 on: November 04, 2010, 07:53:10 PM
Work plus gym membership plus minimum 2-hour RT commute daily = no time to write, blog, keep up on forums, or sleep enough. My weekdays literally consist of wake, gym, commute, work, commute, dinner, kid time, pack lunches, pack gym bag, and by then I'm so exhausted that I can't spend the rest of my 35 minutes doing anything but reading and going to sleep.

The more you know...
Wow, i really sympathize with you, there, Listener. I don't have the gym membership, but i do have the 2 hr RT commute and the rest of it. It's AMAZING how much that cuts into time at home.

Oh, and yeah, i enjoyed this story. Some nitpicks, but definitely a worthwhile listen.

Still wondering... where *did* the candy come from?

...why do I think I don't want to know?
Oh wow… i didn't really follow that to it's logical conclusion until now. Especially with the detail that it was a little slimy…

Wimpy post, i know, but mainly i just wanted to sympathize with Listener. =)



Heradel

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Reply #46 on: November 04, 2010, 08:06:32 PM
Wimpy post, i know, but mainly i just wanted to sympathize with Listener. =)

I think we can let you slide, once.

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That Hirschman Guy

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Reply #47 on: November 05, 2010, 03:45:25 AM
I enjoyed this story.  Perhaps it was the reading, but the women really sounded like morons.  I think that the dude should have been portrayed a little more moronic as well.  His thought process was a little absurd.  But maybe my thought processes would trend absurd if candy started coming out of the faucet.
I didn't mean to make the women sound stupid - the yoga/granola/tofu lady just seemed like she would have that kind of over-enthused voice, and the lines written for her were kinda flaky to begin with. I had to work with what I was given.  She was brave enough to accompany Gary in his trek to the Maintenance closet, and thoughtful enough to bring him something for lunch that *HE* would enjoy (and not force her tofu/granola on him), so voicetones aren't everything to go on when judging. 
for Vivian's voice, she seemed to be a somewhat less emotional, somewhat less passionate character, tho she did care about the kids, so I was just making her sound borderline snooty, given her chain-smoking and teeth-whitening cycle of life.
The girlfriend was sick, cut her some slack. and I don't think the whole piece would've been convincing if it had been narrated by a dumb-sounding guy. This aint Forrest Gump.

The lady on the phone - she of the "sun sign" question - was indeed a moron.



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Reply #48 on: November 05, 2010, 06:20:51 PM
Loved the story - it made me laugh out loud several times.  Just one point (maybe picky - maybe not b/c it distracted the heck out of me)...if the alien was in the feed water pipes and was pushing candy out the faucet when the taps were turned on, it was completely useless for the main character to go exploring the p-trap side of the plumbing....  That would have assumed that the alien was in the sewage side of the plumbing and so the candy would have been coming up out of the sink drain instead of through the tap.  It made me shout at the narrator - "it's not doing you any good to look there!!!!"... but then they went to the maintenance closet and looked in the right place (with telepathic promptings from the alien).

This leads to a question - I know this is fantasy, but when the story incorporates pieces of everyday life (like plumbing), shouldn't the story be accurate?

Otherwise, a great story and really amusing...


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Obleo21

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Reply #49 on: November 05, 2010, 08:38:47 PM
I enjoyed this story.  Perhaps it was the reading, but the women really sounded like morons.  I think that the dude should have been portrayed a little more moronic as well.  His thought process was a little absurd.  But maybe my thought processes would trend absurd if candy started coming out of the faucet.
I didn't mean to make the women sound stupid - the yoga/granola/tofu lady just seemed like she would have that kind of over-enthused voice, and the lines written for her were kinda flaky to begin with. I had to work with what I was given.  She was brave enough to accompany Gary in his trek to the Maintenance closet, and thoughtful enough to bring him something for lunch that *HE* would enjoy (and not force her tofu/granola on him), so voicetones aren't everything to go on when judging. 
for Vivian's voice, she seemed to be a somewhat less emotional, somewhat less passionate character, tho she did care about the kids, so I was just making her sound borderline snooty, given her chain-smoking and teeth-whitening cycle of life.
The girlfriend was sick, cut her some slack. and I don't think the whole piece would've been convincing if it had been narrated by a dumb-sounding guy. This aint Forrest Gump.

The lady on the phone - she of the "sun sign" question - was indeed a moron.

Mr. Hirschman, please don't read such a harsh critique into my statement (and I did say perhaps...)!  I did enjoy the story, and a bad reading would make a good story unenjoyable.  I'm sure it was quite a challenge to perform a story when all but one character is a woman.  You made it easy to tell which woman was talking.