Author Topic: PC136: The Christmas Mummy  (Read 22292 times)

Ocicat

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on: December 21, 2010, 05:57:00 PM
PodCastle 136: The Christmas Mummy

by Heather Shaw & Tim Pratt.


Read by Rish Outfield of the Dunesteef Audio Fiction Magazine.

Originally published in A Christmas Chapbook.

Trish led Nate from the room, into the hall — their parents’ door was
closed — and onto the stairs. She could hear someone moving down
there. Trish crept down the carpeted steps. The only light in the
living room came from the bright Christmas tree. Even the yule log in
the fireplace had burned down.

Two men, dressed in black pajamas with their faces covered, were tying
a big red ribbon around a crate that was bigger than the couch.

“Ninjas?” Trish whispered to her brother.

Christmas ninjas,” Nate said.

One of the ninjas pulled up his mask a little and ate one of the
cookies they’d left for Santa. He drank the milk, too, leaving a white
mustache on his ninja mask when he pulled it back down over his mouth.


Rated G

Happy holidays to all of you from all of us at PodCastle!
« Last Edit: January 11, 2011, 02:20:12 PM by Talia »



timpratt

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Reply #1 on: December 21, 2010, 05:59:59 PM
Greg van Eekhout did artwork for the chapbook version of this story, which Heather and I sent out as a Christmas card. You can see it here:

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/IN19tJsfaqiZRINuJCLBGA?



Heradel

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Reply #2 on: December 21, 2010, 07:48:41 PM
Greg van Eekhout did artwork for the chapbook version of this story, which Heather and I sent out as a Christmas card. You can see it here:

http://picasaweb.google.com/lh/photo/IN19tJsfaqiZRINuJCLBGA?

That was quick. Quick like a ninja celebrating a midwinter festival.

I Twitter. I also occasionally blog on the Escape Pod blog, which if you're here you shouldn't have much trouble finding.


Kaa

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Reply #3 on: December 22, 2010, 02:29:20 AM
This was just right for Christmas! Thank you, Podcastle! And, you know, Tim Pratt and Heather Shaw. :)

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Wilson Fowlie

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Reply #4 on: December 22, 2010, 03:49:00 AM
I laughed out loud several times listening to this story.  It was outrageously silly and delightful.

I really enjoyed Rish's reading, too - definitely added to the story.

"People commonly use the word 'procrastination' to describe what they do on the Internet. It seems to me too mild to describe what's happening as merely not-doing-work. We don't call it procrastination when someone gets drunk instead of working." - Paul Graham


Scattercat

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Reply #5 on: December 22, 2010, 04:34:52 AM
What an adorable, Squonk-esque little story.



BlueLu

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Reply #6 on: December 22, 2010, 05:41:13 PM
Loved it.  I listened to this alone in the office on my last day of work before vacation.  At the line, "Dr. Moriarty prayed to something called 'the strong anthropic principle,'" I snorted hot chocolate through my nose!  Thanks for the holiday treat.

Lena


danooli

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Reply #7 on: December 23, 2010, 01:36:28 AM
What a wonderful story and fantastic reading!  I totally want this to become the next best Christmas movie too!!! Can you imagine that?  Complete with action figures of Christmas Ninja elves with milk moustaches  ;D

Thank you Heather Shaw, Tim Pratt and PodCastle! And Happy Everything to Everyone!




blueeyeddevil

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Reply #9 on: December 23, 2010, 12:42:23 PM



Schreiber

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Reply #10 on: December 24, 2010, 04:03:23 PM
I loved this story! I also think Rish really outdid himself, particularly when it came to Uncle Ray and Dr. Moriarty.



iamafish

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Reply #11 on: December 25, 2010, 05:02:11 AM
Loved it!

Fantastic christmas story. Funny, well written exciting and with something for people of all ages; the perfect children's story! I laughed out loud a couple of times, which garnered some odd looks.


Gorbash

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Reply #12 on: December 26, 2010, 12:24:53 PM
Both Son the Younger and I loved this one, but that was a foregone conclusion from the moment Christmas ninja elves were mentioned in the intro.



Max e^{i pi}

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Reply #13 on: December 27, 2010, 06:54:34 PM
That was a silly little story that made me laugh aloud a few times.
And the reading was outstanding. We should hear more of Rish.
I particularly liked how the antagonist's (does he qualify as an antagonist?) names were all recognizable as evil, villainous men.
I have read and enjoyed some of Tim Pratt's other works, and this was right up there with the rest of them. It's nice to see consistent high quality stories.

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Unblinking

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Reply #14 on: December 28, 2010, 05:29:41 PM
This was loads of fun, and I like the idea of sending out a story with Christmas letters (making note to consider doing that next year).  Twas neat to see the combined efforts of Tim and Heather together.  This story was just chock full of silly fun, from Moriarty's names to the true meaning of Christmas.  I had to look up "strong anthropic principal" afterward, but even though I didn't know what it meant it was still funny to pray to a scientific principle.

Fun!



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Reply #15 on: December 28, 2010, 05:33:26 PM
And I forgot to say--great reading as well, particularly of Dr. Moriarty.



FireTurtle

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Reply #16 on: December 28, 2010, 07:56:45 PM
I loved this. Hysterical. I nearly crashed the car when I heard "Dr. Hitler Moriarty" the first time. Priceless.

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Listener

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Reply #17 on: December 28, 2010, 10:07:10 PM
I enjoyed the story more for the genre-aware references it made than anything else, and for the reading.

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mbrennan

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Reply #18 on: December 28, 2010, 11:46:41 PM
Loads of fun, and overall a good reading, though I have to admit the kids' voices (Nate in particular) rubbed me the wrong way, and sometimes Mom as well.  I think it was a matter of the higher pitch, and Nate lisping.  Moriarty's voice, on the other hand, was fantastic.



slag

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Reply #19 on: December 29, 2010, 06:20:12 AM
Actually, I kinda liked Nate's lisping, it added just the right of amount of annoying childhood over the top
too cute for its own good charm to the story. The father's constant complaining and references to "Irish" coffee were a bit
overused in my opinion, but I guess it's something I'd do too if this kinda thing happened every Christmas. I did like
the villain showing up for Christmas morning bit, it was totally unexpected and so much fun. Listening to supposed super criminal
types try to explain themselves to children never gets old. Great story Tim and Heather!

"Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."


kibitzer

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Reply #20 on: December 31, 2010, 12:42:51 AM
Win! Wonderful! It took a little bit for me to warm to it but Rish's outstanding reading really helped it along. It can be hard to make the ridiculous or whimsical work but Tim and Heather sure pulled it off. Great stuff, just great!

Edit: Forgot to say, great quote at the end there. Not a fan of the quote generally, but that one was particularly good.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2010, 01:05:41 AM by kibitzer »



Loz

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Reply #21 on: December 31, 2010, 06:38:33 PM
I've had one of those 'most of the presents didn't arrive thanks to the weather' and 'family struck by illness' Christmases. This has really helped cheer me up.



kibitzer

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Reply #22 on: January 02, 2011, 07:12:30 AM
This has really helped cheer me up.

...hope you mean the story cheered you up


Dave

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Reply #23 on: January 02, 2011, 10:21:18 PM
Best. Christmas Story. Ever.

I think this one even beats out Mur's steampunk Christmas story from last year.

"I wish you'd use one of the others, I was really drunk when I came up with that one."

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Dave

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Reply #24 on: January 02, 2011, 10:22:46 PM
'Hey, aren't you a ninja?'
'No, I'm a christmas tree, move along.'

(sorry, couldn't find a shorter link that worked)

Dude, TinyURL is your friend!

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