PC141: The Bear In The Cable-Knit Sweater

[Ocicat]

PodCastle 141: The Bear In The Cable-Knit Sweater

by Robert T. Jeschonek.

Read by Cheyenne Wright.

A PodCastle Original!

How’d you like to go through life looking like a werewolf, right down to the hair on your palms?  All thanks to the miracle of hypertrichosis, the disease that blasts hair growth into perpetual overdrive.

Welcome to my world.

Imagine the constant ridicule and abuse I put up with from day one.  Imagine being abandoned by my parents at age three, then juggled like a hot potato from one foster family to the next.  Always the freak, always the outcast, always the dog-faced boy.  Growing up to scrape by as a home-based telemarketer.  Hardly ever leaving my apartment, and then only with everything under wraps.  Always just hanging on to life and sanity by the skin of my teeth.

Imagine living like that, and maybe you’ll get it.  Maybe you’ll understand just how happy I was with Stan and the bears.

And why it hurt so unbelievably bad when I lost them.  Why that birthday party turned out to be my last happy night on Earth.

Rated PG:  Contains Some Violence

[ElectricPaladin]

I am the king under the mountain, and this is the first post.

What.

The.

Hell.

I loved this story, but man what. Man the mother f^%*ing what. This story was one brilliant, beautiful, (and bold and bearlike) pile of weapons grade nonsense. I loved it. I'd had a rough day on the job, and a little nonsense exactly what I needed.

[Wilson Fowlie]

What do you mean?  It was clear as crystal.  A classic tale of the oppression and revolution of tutu-clad bears.  I don't see the issue. 

It was a reasonably interesting premise ('bear' is really an escaped fairy-world bear) to set an "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more!" story in.  I'm glad the story wasn't any longer, though, or it would have overstretched what that world could handle, I think.

I liked Cheyenne's reading, and the echo effects he used for the coliseum shouting and announcing.

[stePH]

I love how "fairy" was worked into the story along with "bear". 

[Reed]

Yeah, well... I did like the strangeness, but I have to say that the story itself felt thin. Especially the part in the fairy world followed a very simple pattern and delivered its message heavy handedly.
It also annoyed me that a whole part of the story was repeated verbatim. I really can't stand that narrative device - repeating a sentence to close a circle is fine, but not such a long part.
So, I didn't hate the story, but it didn't do much for me.

[tinygaia]

Why, yes, Dave. Since you asked, I am entertained.

I love how "fairy" was worked into the story along with "bear". 

I know, right?

I laughed so hard I had to pull the car over. I was already tickled by the premise in the opening lines, but when Cheyenne broke out the echo effects, I lost it.

At first, I was waiting for the story to make sense, but eventually my logic button toggled off and I just went with it. Nearly an hour later, I said, "Wait a minute... that story didn't actually get around to making sense... Oh well." That's a good nonsense story, right there. During the bad ones, your inner critic hammers at the sides of your brain the whole time, reminding you that you haven't suspended your disbelief yet.

This one was fun.

[Scattercat]

I gotta say, I think Cheyenne made this story.  I wouldn't have liked it half so much if I'd read it.  Having that buttery growl to give the lines just the right amount of over-the-top snarl really gave this story a whole new level.

It was fun, but it really was just as long as it needed to be and not much more.  Good times.

[blueeyeddevil]

Yeah, gotta agree about the narration; excellent. First time I can remember effects being used in an Escape Artists piece (doesn't mean it hasn't happened, just the first time I've noted and remembered it).

The story was a little abrupt, but I can shrug that off.

One thing, tutus yes, no sweater. Or did I miss it?

[Unblinking]

I was looking forward to this one after being impressed by Jeschonek's story on Drabblecast this week but I didn't care for this one.

So, where was the sweater?  And what is "cable-knit" anyway, and how is that detail relevant enough to be worth the premium real estate in the title?  I believe in the importance of titles and so a title that means nothing to me is a huge missed opportunity.

So...  All "bears" are actually Fey skinwalkers or just the guy that the protagonist happened to be dating?  Why doesn't this guy turn into a bear when he crosses over?

So the Russian dude is what, a fairy?  Why does he have a Russian accent?  If he's just a regular Russian dude why does he have a Coliseum in Fairy?

Why does he suddenly unleash his fury at the end?  Why didn't he do it earlier and try to save his boyfriend?

Throughout the whole thing, it felt like two disparate stories that had been completed on their own, found to be unsatisfying by themselves, and so were brutally severed and slapped together with Crazy Glue.  Which didn't really improve the picture.  The initial scene just seemed to be there for the sole purpose of getting the spec element on the first page but served no real narrative purpose and gave away what little ending there was, also setting up a huge rift between that first scene and most of what came after, a rift that I never felt was really bridged.  It just seemed like it was hurriedly slapped together with no thought to how the final product would look.

There's just too many questions raised and glossed over, the story felt too hacked together, the ending was given away in the first lines, and I didn't come away with anything to really ponder.  This one not for me.

[DKT]

So, where was the sweater?

Angus is wearing a sweater at the beginning of the story - at his birthday party. Blink, and you miss it.

So...  All "bears" are actually Fey skinwalkers or just the guy that the protagonist happened to be dating?  Why doesn't this guy turn into a bear when he crosses over?

No, I don't believe that's suggested by the story. Stan is from Fairie. Angus is not. From my reading, the rest of the Boilermaker bears are not from Fairie either.

[Unblinking]

So, where was the sweater?

Angus is wearing a sweater at the beginning of the story - at his birthday party. Blink, and you miss it.

Ah, apparently I am not unblinking as my name states, because I missed that.  Still, why put it in the title?  It was a briefly mentioned and completely irrelevant detail.  The sweater is not a result of any events in the story, does nothing to characterize the protagonist, does not foreshadow any event.  Its inclusion in the title implies that it is important but I can see no way in which it is important.

[hautdesert]

And what is "cable-knit" anyway,

Cable-knit

Another cable pattern

And another one  That one's actually a sweater, but not on a bear.

I could go on, there are jillions of different cable patterns.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some knitting to attend to.   

[Scattercat]

There was kind of a strong disconnect, I have to agree.  I was expecting a considerably long period of durance in Faerie before we made it back to the opening scene, and I think the brevity in both real and story time had a chilling effect on the story as a whole.

[asgardian]

I was looking forward to this one after being impressed by Jeschonek's story on Drabblecast this week but I didn't care for this one.

I'm going to have to go with unblinking on this one.  I loved the narration - it made the piece.  The details in the story were vivid, and it has all the plot element that make a 'story' that some in other threads like to point to if they are not existent (On a Blade of Grass over in Escape Pod for example, which I quite liked) but here, IMHO, we have a case of all the structural pieces being there, but it not taking me anywhere that I did not roughly surmised after the first couple of paragraphs.  I as soon as Uri is introduced, I knew Stan was going to be turned into a bear, I knew Uri was going to be somehow responsible and Angus was going to try 'fix' the situation.

I had trouble with the ending as well.  Our protagonist has been in the Faire realm for a whole ten minutes and has no concept of the physical/magical rules of this realm, nor it's structure of power - yet is able to cause a bear revolution by grabbing a couple of faries?  OK, he's angry at the fact his lover has just been killed, but really?

I admit to liking the idea of this story, but I needed more background/world building in this farie realm if I was to suspend my disbelief and carry me through to the end.  Much like WIlson Fowlie, I liked the premise and the idea, I just really thought it needed to be expanded upon.  Sometimes leaving details to the imagination work, but here I feel it fell short.

[Unblinking]

I'd forgotten that Jeschonek was the one who wrote The Love Quest of Smidgen the Snack Cake too, one of my faves of 2010.  So between that one and A Matter of Size, he's definitely got a style that I tend to dig.  I'll be watching for his name in the future.

[Unblinking]

I could go on, there are jillions of different cable patterns.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some knitting to attend to.   

Hey, thanks for the links.    Heather's trying to learn to knit, but so far she's doing just the most basic pattern possible, making scarves.

But...  now that I know what "cable-knit" is, I still have no idea why it's important enough to go in the title.

[icegirl]

But...  now that I know what "cable-knit" is, I still have no idea why it's important enough to go in the title.

Well... cables are made by twisting the stitches as you knit and this story was certainly twisted... I was half asleep the first time I listened to this, so I ran it back to the beginning to see if I had missed something, but it was just as weird and wonderful the second time as through my drowsy brain...

[Talia]

I like the cable-knit detail myself, if only because the title sounds better than 'The Bear in the Sweater' would.

[stePH]

I like the cable-knit detail myself, if only because the title sounds better than 'The Bear in the Sweater' would.

I would have called it "The Bear vs. the Fairies" 

[litarvan66]

A funny, fantastic bit of nonsense.  You definitely need to carry suspension of disbelief to the Nth degree with this one.  I have to agree that Cheyenne's reading was inspired.

[Boggled Coriander]

"The Firemen's Fairy"
"The Hag Queen's Curse"
"The Bear in the Cable-Knit Sweater"

I think I can see a subgroup emerging among PodCastle titles.  (Titles, not the stories themselves.)  And I'm not complaining one bit.

[Loz]

It's odd about what you sometimes will and will not accept in fantastical stories, Nazi elephants in flying submarines versus Cossack unicorns? Sure, why not, by why is everyone speaking English? For me I found I accepted everything in this story but found myself tripping over why the bears in the arena were wearing tutus and riding unicycles and all the other stuff.

This was entirely saved by Cheyenne Wright's amazing narration as there was nothing in the words that suggested it was intended to be a laugh out loud episode. The complete lack of characterisation of everyone and the ridiculous ease with which the main character causes a revolution in a fairy realm was saved from 'really poor episode' status entirely by the reading.

[Talia]

why the bears in the arena were wearing tutus and riding unicycles and all the other stuff.

Those things fit my mental image of what circus bears are supposed to do, though i'm not sure any circus bear has ever done them. I think there may have been a Far Side cartoon or two along those lines.

[Clearshades]

Hello,
I've been lurking for a while and listening to the podcasts but I'm usually so far behind that by the time I catch up, the feedback has already been aired in the podcast and I don't feel as much like joining my voice to points already hashed out.

I really enjoyed this story but I  have to agree with the people who said you have to just let go and let the story be. The more I think about this one, the more it comes apart and the part I take the most issue with is how the protagonist goes instantly from loss to leader. The moment just does not ring true to me as coming from what we've experienced up to that moment.

As far as the title, I thought the title was just about perfect. With opening in the circus, I was wondering where the sweater would come in. The double play on the meaning of the word "bear" and the fact that with his furriness the sweater is what distinguishes the narrator from the human bears as well as the fairy bears made the title as funny for me as the rest of the story.

[Benvolio]

This story seemed like a highly entertaining bit of nonsense until I thought about the symbolisim underlying it. Is there really such animosity between the fairy and bear ends of the homosexual community? Crushing fairies to death in a clenched fist was pretty sinister. I hope I am way off on this reading of the story.

[Unblinking]

I like the cable-knit detail myself, if only because the title sounds better than 'The Bear in the Sweater' would.

You're right, "The Bear in the Sweater" would be no better.  Of the three major words in the title (excluding "The" and "in" as they are modifiers for the major words), only one really has a major impact:  "Bear", putting that word in the title makes lots of sense.  "Cable-Knit" and "Sweater" seem to have no real relevance whatsoever.

Just "The Bear" would at least be accurate, but rather unmemorable (and I think there's been a movie by the same name).  "The Bear in the Cable-Knit Sweater" is memorable in the sense that the title itself sticks in the mind, but is not evocative of the story it represents:  I remember the title easily, but 2/3 of the title has nothing to do with the story content.  As opposed to, say, "The Merchant and the Alchemist's Gate" which is both memorable and evocative to me.  The title sticks in my head, and the title makes me think of the story its related to.

(I consider titles to be a pretty important aspect of the story, so I think they're worth considering.  I was already writing an article about titling when this story comes out, which is partly why I've given it so much thought)

[corvi42]

Not a big fan of this one. It just felt very shallow to me.
 
The symbolism is very obvious, which is not in itself a bad thing. But, there didn't seem to be anything else to the story. It feels like the author just had a very simple image in mind: "bears crush fairies". Everything else in the story just felt like a thin pretense to get to that image. The whole fantasy world, the Russian guy with the portal to fairy just felt like a hastily concocted cover-story.

I think what really kills this story is that there is no attempt at denouement. We get to the arena, and with some never-before hinted at supernatural charisma, the protagonist turns his enemies into allies with a few words. And then what? We don't know. We can imagine that bloody mayhem ensues... that many fairies are torn apart by bears, that the bears win and all is well.  But why are we left to imagine this stereotypical storyline?  Why aren't we told?  How does he come to grips with the death of his lover? What happens to the Russian dude?  What kind of new bear-world order do they establish in fairy?

Clearly the author doesn't even care to contemplate these aspects of his own story. All that seemed to be important to him was the bears vs. fairies metaphor. Once he gets us there, he just drops the whole thing. And in taking us there, he's left the rest of the story "bare". So if he doesn't care about it, why should we?  Ultimately it makes the whole thing feel very shallow and uninteresting. I can't bring myself to care about the lives and concerns of characters that the author doesn't even care about.

Its unfortunate really, because it has potential. Just a massive lack of follow-through.

[kibitzer]

I dunno how folks come up with this stuff... what a mind trip!

Liked this one very much. And since Cheyenne Wright is about my favourite narrator, that made it all the better!

When I listened to the first bit with Angus holding the fairies in his fists, I heard "berries". So it was something like, "Angus held the berries aloft in his fists -- he felt them squirming in his hand." So I expected sentient berries. Which would have made the story no stranger.

[Talia]

Now I want to read a story about sentient berries. Someone get on that. :p

[Scattercat]

Now I want to read a story about sentient berries. Someone get on that. :p

Your wish etc.  It's short, but it's a story...

[Talia]

Now I want to read a story about sentient berries. Someone get on that. :p

Your wish etc.  It's short, but it's a story...

Haha, I love it. Poor berries. Thanks for indulging my whim

[wingodzilla]

I enjoyed it. It does not have to be Steinbeck, just entertaining and it was.

[kibitzer]

Now I want to read a story about sentient berries. Someone get on that. :p

Your wish etc.  It's short, but it's a story...

Y'know, I was this close to saying, "I look forward to seeing this on Mirrorshards..."

[Scattercat]

Now I want to read a story about sentient berries. Someone get on that. :p

Your wish etc.  It's short, but it's a story...

Y'know, I was this close to saying, "I look forward to seeing this on Mirrorshards..."

"Stuff that normally doesn't talk talking" is practically the sub-heading for Mirrorshards, so it was kind of a natural fit...

[iamafish]

Thanks Podcastle for making my fear of the Ursine Menace that much more real! I will never go near a portal into another dimension ever again.

Other than that I agree with the general theme of the comments; a fairly ordinary (in quality that it) story made fun by some superb narration.

[yicheng]

I had fun with this.  No, it didn't make much sense, but Cheyenne's reading made the story and plus, it's got fricking bears in it.  "RAAWWRRR!!!"

[Devoted135]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who heard the line in the beginning as Angus having "berries" in his hands. Such confusion at the end!

That said, the nonsense was a pretty enjoyable way to start off the work week. Also, wow! I've never heard any effects added in to any of the EA 'casts before but Radiolab got me used to it long ago and I felt that it really added something to the story. This was definitely one that benefited from a more performance-type reading. Now if only I could get the image of hairy palms to go away...

[Listener]

As soon as I figured out the pub was a place that catered to bears in the homosexual sense, I had an "ohhh, that's why it's called that" moment. I was both amused and vaguely disappointed -- I'd thought that when Yuri barged in, he was going to be an actual bear, and no one would say anything about it (like Tim in The Cleveland Show).

I too heard "berries".

[kibitzer]

As soon as I figured out the pub was a place that catered to bears in the homosexual sense...

I had no idea of that connotation of "bear." Huh! How about that.

[LaShawn]

Machismo homosexual bears. Now I heard everything.

So...uh...I don't get it. I understand the fairy part of it, but not the bear part. Unless...I just answered my own question with what I wrote above?

I think I like fairies more. ::pout::

[Unblinking]

Machismo homosexual bears. Now I heard everything.

So...uh...I don't get it. I understand the fairy part of it, but not the bear part. Unless...I just answered my own question with what I wrote above?

I think I like fairies more. ::pout::

What don't you get?  What the double meaning of bear is?  If that's what you meant:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_%28gay_culture%29

[LaShawn]

What don't you get?  What the double meaning of bear is?  If that's what you meant:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_%28gay_culture%29

Ahhhh....now I get it. I had absolutely no clue whatsoever.

::considers the nickname she calls her hubby and gets a slow, kinky smile on her face::

[Unblinking]

What don't you get?  What the double meaning of bear is?  If that's what you meant:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bear_%28gay_culture%29

Ahhhh....now I get it. I had absolutely no clue whatsoever.

::considers the nickname she calls her hubby and gets a slow, kinky smile on her face::

I'm not sure what a slow, kinky smile looks like, but it sounds awesome!

[Fenrix]

I was expecting something vaguely cute and Paddington-esque. This was not that story. I didn’t hate it but I liked the story in my head more. I also got a distinct vibe of sub-culture on sub-culture hate. Not fun. “Fireman’s Fairy” hit while this one and “And the Blood of Dead Gods Shall Mark the Score” missed the mark.

Now I want to read a story about sentient berries. Someone get on that. :p

Your wish etc.  It's short, but it's a story...

Y'know, I was this close to saying, "I look forward to seeing this on Mirrorshards..."

"Stuff that normally doesn't talk talking" is practically the sub-heading for Mirrorshards, so it was kind of a natural fit...

I liked your story more, Scattercat. Unfortunately, you will now be associated in my head forever more with "Holy shit a talking muffin."

[Scattercat]

I liked your story more, Scattercat.

We aim to please...