Pseudopod 025: Fetching Pepé

[SFEley]

By K. A. Patterson
Read by Mur Lafferty

In the photo he was holding a large, thick black snake. Three other large snakes encircled his neck and legs.

"That's me, Zorbo the Great, snake charmer extraordinaire! Now I am retired. No longer working for circus. I do lecture tour now. Talk to children 'bout snakes. Make them no worry that snakes might bite them. Tell them not all snakes are hurtful."

"That's wonderful," Carol said, impressed. "What am I to do for you and Mrs. Dicicco?"

"You help me get Pepé." Zorbo said, taking a moment to puff on his pipe.

The tobacco he used gave off a pleasant, fruity scent.

"Pepé?"



Listen to this week's Pseudopod.

[Bdoomed]

i was gonna post it! hehe.
listening to it now...

ooh. interesting story.  Never trust funny talkin people with snakes.

[Paul Campbell]

I know a Temp worker who needs to hear this story.

[Holden]

This was a fun story. When he asked, "Is Balky with him?" I laughed audibly. Yes, I could see it coming a mile away, but it was done so well written and read that I enjoyed it anyway. I liked the descriptions of the environment, including the fetid smells, yellowed ceiling, well-maintained plants, etc.

The story ends too quickly once she finds out who Pepé is, though. I would have liked more suspense. Think about it: You are stuck in an A/C vent with a huge snake that considers you dinner. The only way to get away from the snake is to go backwards up a sharp incline wearing flannel clothing that slides on the metal. At the top of the incline is a heavy, iron grate that is drilled in place. You've just watched the snake eat a dog and you know you're next. What a predicament! I would have liked her terror to last a bit longer. She could try to squirm back up the vent or try in vain to pound out one of the walls of the vent. It seems like a waste to spend so much time building up to a moment that only lasts a few seconds.

[wakela]

This one did not do it for me.  I think much of the description was over written.  I need a few details to get an impression of the house, but I do not need to know the layout.  It felt like seven minutes of the podcast were taken up with her comparing the address on her post-it with the one on the mailbox, which is a thoroughly un-scary thing to describe.

Strangely, after so much description of the house, the breed of the dog was not even mentioned.  I pictured a chihuahua, but then had a hard time with a snake that would eat both a chihuahua and a human.   

Wording like "The room was carpted with red carpet" was awkward. 

Why would the snake not have eaten the dog already?  And I'm no snake expert, but I thought they usually go a long time between feedings, so after eating a dog it wouldn't be hungry for a person. 

But above all, the story was not scary or creepy.  The couple were set up to be weird, but the narrator kept saying that she felt comfortable with them.  The payoff was completely predictable and short.  it felt like the writer spent too much time on the beginning and then rushed the ending.  The story could have started with her trapped in the duct. 

[DKT]

I kind of enjoyed this one.  I read it as more of a monster story than anything else.  I saw the ending coming but there were parts in the air duct that I really liked and for a little while I started wondering if the air ducts she was in were actually Pepe.  I'm not sure how that would have worked realistically, but that idea really creeped me out.  Still, I had fun listening to it. 

[johnhummel]

I liked this one, and even chuckled when you *knew*.

But I agree with one of the comments above - once "Oh noes!" came in to play, it just ended! And why would a giant snake be poisonous?  No - I would (just for the horror value) preferred that the poor girl struggle, try to get back, maybe the dog goes over her and runs away behind her.  Then she gets snake mouth over her head eating her from the top down (like that scene in "Snakes on a Plane").  *That* would have been icky.  Quick hit with the fangs?  Not so much.

Until then, though, I rather liked the story.

[fiveyearwinter]

I was not all that thrilled/scared by this story. It was...predictable. Amicable old couples? Worst enemy, to be sure. I thought their broken English was sort of over the top, and I knew she wasn't going to make it pretty quickly. But it is an escape from the normal body gore that is so popular here on Pseudopod, so it was sort of a welcome change.

[Nelka]

This story scared the hell out of me. 

It's not one of the better stories featured.  And I agree that it was predictable.  But it combined my fear of closed spaces with my love of animals.  The fact that I could see myself in the main character's shoes is what scared me.  That was all I needed. 

[Unblinking]

This story was far too predictable for me.  It was immediately obvious that Pepe was a snake given Zorbo's eccentricities, and the dog barking, which confused me for a bit, I worked out to be food.

Some of the accent-work was just plain bad.  The woman in particular sometimes sounded more like Tarzan than any ethnic group.

And as others said a quick death by fang is kind of a let-down when the death could've been so much worse, and why does a big snake need venom anyway, when it could squeeze her to death or swallow her whole?

I did laugh out loud when Zorbo called down, seemingly in a cheerful and sincere voice, that he was going to call the temp agency to find out why she didn't show up.

[Millenium_King]

Good... but...

P R E D I C T A B L E !

That's all I really have to say.  I mean, who wasn't shouting at the poor girl "Don't go in that vent, dummy!"

Also: is there a reason the snake had to be fed people?  Wouldn't procuring other large animals like pigs be much easier than murdering temp workers?

[Unblinking]

Also: is there a reason the snake had to be fed people?  Wouldn't procuring other large animals like pigs be much easier than murdering temp workers?

I figured Pepe was like a cat that will only eat Fancy Feast--picky picky picky.

Also, just because pig murders would be easier, doesn't mean they'd be as much fun. 

[Millenium_King]

Also, just because pig murders would be easier, doesn't mean they'd be as much fun. 

Haha - that's sort of what I figured.

I also thought maybe people were the reason for Pepe's prodigeous size.