Author Topic: PC198: Urchins, While Swimming  (Read 17118 times)

Gamercow

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Reply #25 on: March 07, 2012, 03:38:03 PM
I'm going to join Max's camp of dissent, but for different reasons.  First off, let me say that the singing was astoundingly beautiful. Unfortunately, there was that white noise in the background for the rest of the story that detracted from the reading. 

As for the prose itself, I found myself drowning under a veritable pond of similes, most of which were about stars and/or frost and/or snow in or on a window.  I found them beautiful at first, then more and more irritating as the story went on.  There were about 28 similes using "x like y".  Add to that about a dozen "A as B", and you've got 40 metaphorical comparisons in a 3,000 word story.  At a minimum of 3 words per metaphor, that is almost 5% of the story, and is more likely in the range of 10%.  Slowly, over the course of the story, it lent an air of pretentiousness, and I found myself liking the story less and less.

The cow says "Mooooooooo"


Mav.Weirdo

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Reply #26 on: March 07, 2012, 04:27:58 PM
A correction for Dave, in the intro he said Catherynne M. Valente had three books come out in 2011. She actually had four books come out last year, 3 Novels (which were mentioned) and 1 Novella Silently and Very Fast which was published in book form by WSFA Press, and is currently a Nebula Nominee.



Devoted135

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Reply #27 on: March 07, 2012, 04:53:20 PM
I thought that this was a pretty story, and the singing was my favorite part. However, given the flood of stories I listen to every year coupled with the enigmatic title, I doubt I'll be able to remember it clearly by the time the feedback is presented, much less a year from now. I did like the mythology behind it though.



see what I did there?
« Last Edit: March 07, 2012, 08:09:41 PM by Devoted135 »



childoftyranny

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Reply #28 on: March 07, 2012, 06:48:11 PM
Adding to the chorus of voices, the singing was beautiful and narration was lovely, the tone and pace were perfect.

I tend to love stories about mythological creatures, be they involving them or weaving a tale around them, as this one did. I very much agree that understanding why the hair wetting was necessary earlier would have been nice, the repetition of the act and the baths for first minutes of the story seemed more bizarre and out of place than it had to if that fact had been shared. As well as I was a bit lost through most of the story as to what age she was supposed to be. Its probably not that important but for me I just kept wondering as its context for different things she and her mother, the first pair, did.

The oddity of that these creatures are supposed to be ghosts, and that she still had a child was a bit of an oddity in my mind, but nothing distracting.

I did enjoy the story along with its eccentricities, I really hope we can hear more stories like this and Lavanya and Deepika.






Unblinking

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Reply #29 on: March 08, 2012, 02:21:49 PM
As well as I was a bit lost through most of the story as to what age she was supposed to be. Its probably not that important but for me I just kept wondering as its context for different things she and her mother, the first pair, did.

I agree with that.  It was clear that she was childish, but if you live alone in the wilderness with your mother, you haven't had much worldly experience to decide to behave differently.

I guess the similes didn't bother me, though they often would when overused.  And I didn't hear any white noise--I did listen as I usually do while driving to work, so the road noise might've just made the white noise harder to hear, I dunno.



LaShawn

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Reply #30 on: March 09, 2012, 05:12:25 PM
Beautiful tragic story. I love Valente's works. I love the imagery she weaves, which to me isn't pretention. I like the lyrical s#*%.

I'm not familiar with rusalkas, so I took a trip to Wikipedia. Reading it made me understand better with what happened with Artyom's drowning. Ksyusha may have been able to tamp down that part of her nature, but Artyom repeating what was said to her mother, even if he did it in a loving manner, triggered the rusalka aspect in her. So, the drowning in the bed made sense to me. (it also made it all the more tragic in that she would probably never have another lover for fear of killing him. That kid would be all she has. Sad.)

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Unblinking

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Reply #31 on: March 09, 2012, 05:21:29 PM
(it also made it all the more tragic in that she would probably never have another lover for fear of killing him. That kid would be all she has. Sad.)

And I wouldn't be surprised if she warns her daughter about getting serious with a man, hoping to help her daughter avoid the same consequence, which is even sadder.



Max e^{i pi}

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Reply #32 on: March 12, 2012, 09:42:42 PM
I listened to it again, and I realized now that what's missing isn't handwavium, it's missing narrativium.

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DKT

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Reply #33 on: March 12, 2012, 09:48:30 PM
I listened to it again...
*snip*

That right there is some serious dedication. Thanks for giving it not one shot, but two  :)


hronir

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Reply #34 on: March 15, 2012, 02:03:09 AM
Everyone interested should read the entire translation of Pushkin's Rusalka.

            In lakeside leafy groves a friar
            Escaped the world; out there he passed
            His summer days in constant prayer,
            Deep studies and eternal fast.
            Already with a humble shovel
            The elder dug himself a grave;
            And calling saints to bless his hovel,
            Death, nothing other, did he crave.

 

            So once upon a falling night he
            Bowed down beside his droopy shack
            And meekly prayed to the Almighty.
            The grove was turning slowly black;
            Above the lake a mist was lifting;
            Through milky clouds across the sky
            The ruddy moon was softly drifting,
            When water drew the friar's eye...

            He looks there, puzzled, full of trouble,
            A fear he cannot quite explain,
            And sees: the waves begin to bubble
            And suddenly grow calm again.
            Then -- white as first snow in the highlands,
            Light-footed as nocturnal shade,
            There comes ashore and sits in silence
            Upon the bank a naked maid.

            She eyes the monk and brushes gently
            Her hair and water off her arms.
            He shakes with fear and looks intently
            At her and at her lovely charms.
            With eager hands she waves and beckons,
            Nods quickly, smiling from afar,
            Then -- shoots within two flashing seconds
            Into still water like a star.

            The glum old man slept not an instant
            All night, all day not once he prayed:
            Before his eyes still hung and glistened
            The wondrous girl's persistent shade...
            The grove puts on the gown of nightfall;
            The moon walks on the cloudy floor;
            And there's the maiden, pale, delightful,
            Reclining on the spellbound shore.

            She looks at him, her hair she brushes,
            Nods, sends him kisses drolly wild,
            Plays with the waves -- caresses, splashes, --
            Now laughs, now whimpers like a child,
            Moans tenderly, calls louder, louder...
            "Come, monk, come, monk! To me, to me!.."
            Then -- vanishes in limpid water...
            And all is silent instantly...

            On the third day the ardent hermit
            Was sitting by the shore, in love,
            Awaiting the enticing mermaid,
            As shade was lying on the grove...
            Dark ceded to the sun's emergence;
            By then the monk had disappeared,
            No one knew where, and only urchins,
            While swimming, saw a hoary beard.



The characters in Valente's story do not have to be exact replications of those found in the original poem. There is just a nice rapport between the two.

Both works are beautiful



Fenrix

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Reply #35 on: March 15, 2012, 04:54:18 PM
I had some kind of feedback/electrical whine during the narration of this one while listening to it in the car. I'm going to load it up on the MP3 player and try it out on the headphones.

All cat stories start with this statement: “My mother, who was the first cat, told me this...”


kibitzer

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Reply #36 on: March 16, 2012, 12:57:03 PM
I had some kind of feedback/electrical whine during the narration of this one while listening to it in the car. I'm going to load it up on the MP3 player and try it out on the headphones.

Please let me know if it persists.


Fenrix

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Reply #37 on: April 09, 2012, 05:48:44 PM
This was a beautiful and tragic story. The singing was a fantastic touch and nicely done. I fear this will fade from memory, but it was a good way to pass the time.

I had some kind of feedback/electrical whine during the narration of this one while listening to it in the car. I'm going to load it up on the MP3 player and try it out on the headphones.

Please let me know if it persists.

It was far less noticeable with the headphones. It was there but not not as niggling as when I was driving.

All cat stories start with this statement: “My mother, who was the first cat, told me this...”


DKT

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Reply #38 on: April 17, 2012, 11:09:15 PM
A correction for Dave, in the intro he said Catherynne M. Valente had three books come out in 2011. She actually had four books come out last year, 3 Novels (which were mentioned) and 1 Novella Silently and Very Fast which was published in book form by WSFA Press, and is currently a Nebula Nominee.

Getting ready to record feedback for this one, and somehow I missed this. Thanks for the note and correction.

(Also: Silently and Very Fast has been nominated for a Hugo as well, since Mav posted. So congrats to Ms. Valente on that count!)


Zuishness

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Reply #39 on: May 12, 2012, 09:39:04 PM
I thought she protested a little too much about not meaning to kill him. Like someone trying to convince themselves.

He was a bit of an idiot though, fancy saying the exact same thing as the girl's father had said to her mother on the night of her seduction. Totally not cool.

If you ask me, if anything was going to cause an unstoppable spume of mucky lake water, it was going to be that.





Ocicat

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Reply #40 on: August 27, 2016, 10:46:08 PM
This episode was just re-broadcast in honor of the Eugie Foster Memorial Award for Short Fiction to be awarded at Dragoncon next week. 

More information on the Podcastle Webpage for Episode PC198a.  You can also find the Eugie Foster links there.



NoMeDigas

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Reply #41 on: September 24, 2016, 11:37:38 PM
Why did Kseniya's mother call her Rybka at night?