Author Topic: EP348: Nemesis  (Read 20434 times)

Cattfish

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Reply #25 on: June 15, 2012, 03:32:06 AM
I thought the ending was good, it was nice how you were leading us along and trying to get us to believe that the sidekick was going to turn into the supervillan.  But I really felt that the high school setting was awkward and distracting (fart jokes, lunch money, cheating on homework, so on and so on...), and that whole "legion of superheros" was kind of shoehorned in there. 

BTW I enjoyed your story "Lightblind" on Toasted Cake earlier this month... hope that takes out the sting of criticism :P
« Last Edit: June 15, 2012, 03:34:29 AM by Cattfish »



matweller

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Reply #26 on: June 15, 2012, 12:52:52 PM
But I really felt that the high school setting was awkward and distracting (fart jokes, lunch money, cheating on homework, so on and so on...)...

You mean, like high school is IRL?   :P



Cattfish

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Reply #27 on: June 15, 2012, 02:22:17 PM
But I really felt that the high school setting was awkward and distracting (fart jokes, lunch money, cheating on homework, so on and so on...)...

You mean, like high school is IRL?   :P

touche



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Reply #28 on: June 15, 2012, 02:59:46 PM
Adam Baum?  HAhahahahahahah!  Loved that name for the secret identity of the atomic-powered superboy.

So.... was the title a straight up red herring?  The title seemed to be directly supporting the most obvious path the story could've taken, the origin story of Atom Boy's nemesis.  But since it didn't go that way, the title seems to either be a red herring (which strikes me as kind of cheap) or refers to something I didn't understand at all.  I like double meanings in a title, especially when the second meaning only becomes clear in retrospect, but I'm only getting one meaning here and it doesn't make sense with this story.  Thoughts?

This story was okay.  I felt for the kid, and most of all I wanted him to get the hell out of the poisonous friendship he'd mired himself in, because it was very clearly tearing him down inside and I hated to see that.  Adam has to learn to cope on his own, and covering for him and doing everything for him is not going to help him be a functional being.  When he goes out into the real world are you going to be his live-in ass-coverer because he's too distracted to take care of himself?  He has to learn, and you're poisoning yourself to play that role.

I'm all for stories that mix real problems with speculative elements but in this one the speculative element just ended up seeming so entirely irrelevant.  You didn't need the superhero to have the hero-worship bitter best friend dynamic.  The glove was never used for anything but practice.  I ended up wanting some actual onscreen superhero action, or to make the identity relevant in some way. 

So it was all right, but the label didn't match the contents of the tin, and it ended up being a straightforward love story that just seemed overly familiar, but with speculative element resting atop it.



Listener

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Reply #29 on: June 15, 2012, 03:40:01 PM
This story had me for about 90%. The characters were fun, the writing was witty and engaging. I laughed aloud several times, (note that I have to say 'aloud' because I can't stand the phrase 'Laugh Out Loud' anymore). In all, it's a well written and fun story. Props to Nathaniel.

That's basically how I felt too. I kept expecting Quentin to turn into The Toad and become Atom Boy's nemesis. I realized early on that The Toad was QUENTIN'S nemesis, and I was fine with that, but... I'm not saying I thought the ending was a cop-out or anything (it was consistent with the character), but it left me wanting.

The story was a little too "Buffy" in the explanations Quentin came up with for all the stuff that happened to him while at school, but I guess there are only so many ways to do that. I did like that Quentin actually had to suffer the consequences of his actions, instead of them just being ignored or glossed over.

I too LOLd many times -- especially about the fart pills. The author is quite good at writing young characters whose voices ring true, and I know it can be hard to do that.

The reading was generally good, although the voice chosen for Quentin got a little annoying at times.

"Farts are a hug you can smell." -Wil Wheaton

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Reply #30 on: June 15, 2012, 04:49:01 PM
And a misunderstanding of part of the text left me with a different idea for a while.  I thought that when he was sketching himself with the girl, he had inadvertently drawn Adam's face on HER body instead of his own.  So for a while I thought he was gay and just hadn't quite realized it yet, which kind of made sense as a contributing factor to hero worship.

Then I realized that I'd misunderstood that whole thing at first...



jwbjerk

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Reply #31 on: June 16, 2012, 04:02:29 PM
I enjoyed it.  Once you accepted teen super heroes with a secret identity, everything else followed pretty coherently and logically. I liked the "side-kick" perspective, and wouldn't mind hearing more episodes in this vein.

The ending was maybe a bit too quick and tidy -- but it is a short story.

What i can't figure out is why at the end, Q suddenly thinks the gauntlet was a test for Atom Boy.  Oblivious Atom Boy is unlikely to notice it, and if he did, i doubt he would figure it out that it was an Anti-atom-boy weapon. Either it was a random plot device, or it only makes sense as test for Q.  For a while i thought it was planted by the mentioned villain, in a classic, overly elaborate plot, but it didn't tick.


And a misunderstanding of part of the text left me with a different idea for a while.  I thought that when he was sketching himself with the girl, he had inadvertently drawn Adam's face on HER body instead of his own.  So for a while I thought he was gay and just hadn't quite realized it yet, which kind of made sense as a contributing factor to hero worship.

Then I realized that I'd misunderstood that whole thing at first...
The same thing happened to me.  Either the text wasn't clear or we got distracted and missed the same words.



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Reply #32 on: June 18, 2012, 02:27:33 PM
What i can't figure out is why at the end, Q suddenly thinks the gauntlet was a test for Atom Boy.  Oblivious Atom Boy is unlikely to notice it, and if he did, i doubt he would figure it out that it was an Anti-atom-boy weapon. Either it was a random plot device, or it only makes sense as test for Q.  For a while i thought it was planted by the mentioned villain, in a classic, overly elaborate plot, but it didn't tick.

I got the impression that Quentin's belief that it was a test was a bit of skewed magical thinking consistent with many of Quentin's points of view.  Atom Boy is the thing around which the universe revolves, and the proximity of such a powerful weapon can be no coincidence in Quentin's mind.  And, if he's living in a comic book, then he's assuredly right that the gauntlet won't just be forgotten, but all in all I think it much more likely that at the very least it will serve as a constant source of internal struggle to test himself, or that he will make a decision to be a superhero or supervillain at some point, a year or five down the road.



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Reply #33 on: June 18, 2012, 03:30:31 PM
I really enjoyed this story! I did see the presence of the device as a test for Quentin, regardless of who placed it there. The truth is that he has to deal with resentment owing to Adam's clueless nature, and over time it gets easier and easier to contemplate becoming the sidekick-turned-nemesis.

I liked the scene where Quentin's crush kisses him, because it had seemed to me that she liked him all along. Since Adam always seemed to get everything, Quentin assumed that she liked Adam and thus felt jealous. So, I was glad that she took matters into her own hands to clear that up for him!


And a misunderstanding of part of the text left me with a different idea for a while.  I thought that when he was sketching himself with the girl, he had inadvertently drawn Adam's face on HER body instead of his own.  So for a while I thought he was gay and just hadn't quite realized it yet, which kind of made sense as a contributing factor to hero worship.

Then I realized that I'd misunderstood that whole thing at first...
The same thing happened to me.  Either the text wasn't clear or we got distracted and missed the same words.

For what it's worth, I had no problem following this section...



patriciomas

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Reply #34 on: June 19, 2012, 02:39:01 AM
To me, a story is great when it makes me care about the characters (most stories don't quite get there). And this one did. I was preparing for Quentin to enter into the realm of We Used to be Friends, and was relieved when the story went the coming-of-age route. It made me smile and made my day brighter.  :)
« Last Edit: June 19, 2012, 02:45:29 AM by patriciomas »



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Reply #35 on: June 20, 2012, 02:28:21 PM
Add me to the list of listeners who are happy that the ending took me to an unexpected place.

From the very beginning, I saw this as a "Lex Luthor" origin story, and I was a little sad, because I found that I cared about Quentin, and I felt sorry for Adam, knowing that he was about to lose his only real friend.

That Quentin overcame his own internal nemesis instead of becoming Adam's was unexpected and delightful.

I live with a teenage boy, and I found the voices of the teenage characters to be genuine, and well-done, and the story captured that in-between feeling of the last years of high school, when kids are becoming what they will be. The parallels between Q's decisions in using the gaunltet and the choice all high schoolers face of how to approach the rest of their lives were great, without being so blatant as to make me feel like I'm hearing a "Very special episode" of Escape Pod.

I enjoyed this one.

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Reply #36 on: June 20, 2012, 04:03:47 PM
Did anyone else have to keep reminding themselves of the age group of the characters?  The text was clearly written about high schoolers, but I kept on thinking they were grade schoolers for some reason.  It might have been the voice acting?  Seemed like the boys were pitched higher as one often hears when voicing a child.



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Reply #37 on: June 20, 2012, 04:47:29 PM
Did anyone else have to keep reminding themselves of the age group of the characters?  The text was clearly written about high schoolers, but I kept on thinking they were grade schoolers for some reason.  It might have been the voice acting?  Seemed like the boys were pitched higher as one often hears when voicing a child.
Could be a maturity level thing.
There have been stories before (recently, in fact) where the perceived maturity of the characters was higher than it should be.
I think that in this story the characters behaved like they were maybe in 10th grade.
But then again, this could be colored by my perceptions of the current maturity level of high-schoolers.

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matweller

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Reply #38 on: June 21, 2012, 04:34:39 AM
Did anyone else have to keep reminding themselves of the age group of the characters?  The text was clearly written about high schoolers, but I kept on thinking they were grade schoolers for some reason.  It might have been the voice acting?  Seemed like the boys were pitched higher as one often hears when voicing a child.
Could be a maturity level thing.
There have been stories before (recently, in fact) where the perceived maturity of the characters was higher than it should be.
I think that in this story the characters behaved like they were maybe in 10th grade.
But then again, this could be colored by my perceptions of the current maturity level of high-schoolers.
I intentionally played Quentin higher than normal thinking that he was supposed to be a stereotypical geeky weakling and because my normal narrating voice is too low for a high schooler (see On A Blade of Grass). Adam came out higher because he's supposed to be super juiced and hyper. Notice he's lower the first couple lines where he's depressed. I hope it didn't take you out of it too much. :)



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Reply #39 on: June 21, 2012, 09:05:25 AM
I was aiming for 11th grade.  10th is close enough, I suppose.



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Reply #40 on: June 21, 2012, 01:30:07 PM
I intentionally played Quentin higher than normal thinking that he was supposed to be a stereotypical geeky weakling and because my normal narrating voice is too low for a high schooler (see On A Blade of Grass). Adam came out higher because he's supposed to be super juiced and hyper. Notice he's lower the first couple lines where he's depressed. I hope it didn't take you out of it too much. :)

Nah, not too much.  The text was clear enough about the age level that I didn't have major trouble, I just had to keep readjusting.  I don't think your voice is too low to voice a high schooler, I knew some high schoolers with very deep voices.  Once puberty hits I don't think there's such a thing as too low.



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Reply #41 on: June 22, 2012, 01:58:48 AM
I pegged them as younger teens 9th or 10th grade and not seniors about to leave for college so their immaturity seems about right.  The "teens" we see on TV and in movies are often played by mid-20s actors.  Since I don't spend much time with real kids, I have to remind myself that on occassion.  Real teenagers usually look younger than those you see on screen.

Did anyone else have to keep reminding themselves of the age group of the characters?  The text was clearly written about high schoolers, but I kept on thinking they were grade schoolers for some reason.  It might have been the voice acting?  Seemed like the boys were pitched higher as one often hears when voicing a child.



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Reply #42 on: June 22, 2012, 07:21:48 PM
First and foremost congratulations on the trifecta and a well written story!

The characters were very believable and totally relatable, that said its about middling for me, mostly due to having come of age not terrible long ago I find myself less interested in that period of life than others. It provides so much food for thought for the future though that it has a great deal of mulling-over possibility to it.

For a moment let me play super-villain's advocate, if we are discussing a real planner "chessmaster" type this is a very successful first move, while Quentin didn't take the bait, per se, he also didn't tell Atom Boy, or well, anyone else about. This means that while he is a good guy that is not 100% loyal, his own interests will be served, and that is exactly the in our "chessmaster" would want. Someone who breaks immediately and gets taken out, well that is a few moments of fun, but someone to poke and prod until the final cracking until hes really consumed by the toad that while in hiding is still there, now that the key. In many ways I'd say Lex Luther and Joker(Dark Knight comics) are good examples of villains whose plans reach this level, though their downfall is usually pushing too fast.



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Reply #43 on: June 25, 2012, 04:21:30 PM
First and foremost congratulations on the trifecta and a well written story!

Oh yeah, congrats on the trifecta, scattercat!  That is a worthy accomplishment.  That is one of the milestones I'd like to achieve, but have had no luck with Podcastle.  :P



matweller

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Reply #44 on: June 25, 2012, 08:14:02 PM
Agreed. Make yourself an achievement badge. Or, allow me to offer this hastily assembled entry...



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Reply #45 on: June 25, 2012, 08:16:47 PM
OOooooooh! SHINY.

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Reply #46 on: June 26, 2012, 02:07:48 PM
Agreed. Make yourself an achievement badge. Or, allow me to offer this hastily assembled entry...

Hey, neat! 



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Reply #47 on: June 28, 2012, 05:10:50 PM
Not bad. I did find myself wondering what would've happened if she hadn't kissed him...or worse, shot him down. But it is refreshing to see a guy actually get the girl and not turn all evil. Nice.

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Reply #48 on: June 29, 2012, 05:45:56 PM
I really liked the first half of this story and the relationship between Quentin and Adam / Atom Boy.

I didn't like the second half and the cliché boy-girl dialogue, nor the juvenile thoughts of Quentin. Tedious in the extreme. I found myself looking at the progress bar of the audio player, thinking "How much longer will this go on?".

I nearly didn't finish listening, but wanted to give the story a chance to redeem itself.  The ending was OK and I liked the fact that the gizmo was returned to the hole in the ground, but really, wouldn't it have been wiser to hand it over to Atom Boy?

So, I give this a "C" for entertainment and a "B+" for effort.




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Reply #49 on: June 29, 2012, 07:52:18 PM
I nearly didn't finish listening, but wanted to give the story a chance to redeem itself.  The ending was OK and I liked the fact that the gizmo was returned to the hole in the ground, but really, wouldn't it have been wiser to hand it over to Atom Boy?

Wiser?  I'd say no.  Adam Baum is such a flake I'm a bit amazed he hasn't given away his identity.  I wouldn't put it past him to leave the gizmo on a city bus, where it probably end up in a pawn shop for your first random person to buy for a few bucks. 

Also, even if it weren't for that safety concern, I like that he didn't give it to Adam.  He's been such a doormat for Adam for so long, I like that he makes the decision to not give everything up to Adam.