The multiple readers were fine, but I found the story as a whole somewhat disappointing. The description of the bee-dance was impressively erotic, but that was the only place where there was much teasing going on. The opening scene pretty much told us the plot, and the rest of the story was a more in-depth recapitulation that didn't always add more, or rather added too much. (I found the detailed description of the doctor's experiments, in particular, to be a turn-off; if you just tell me "It's magic/mad science," I'm okay with it, but as soon as you provide me with mechanisms, I'm going to want them to be scientifically plausible, and I'm sorry, no matter how many times you get bee venom in you, you do not develop bee-telepathy. Telepabee?) The climactic fight scene was robbed of a lot of tension because we already knew going in that two people got shot and one got run over, and everyone was dying. The only thing that wasn't in the opening scene was the holdout pistol in the girl's skirts, and that got covered pretty thoroughly in the mid-scenes. Honestly, I'd rather have seen this without the woman's perspective at all; knowing that she actually loved him kind of ruined the mystery of romance and her dark moods, knowing her backstory ruined the creepiness of her powers and the ominous feeling of the Doctor, and she's the blabbermouth who told us that she and her boyfriend were both actively dying.
So I'd give it an A- for presentation (the male reader kind of stepped on the last lines of the female reader every time they changed scenes) and an A for concept (bees are creepy, telepathy is creepy, mad science is cool), but only a C for overall execution.