Author Topic: PodCastle Miniature 72: The Best Worst Monster  (Read 9270 times)

Ocicat

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on: October 20, 2012, 05:58:52 PM
PodCastle Miniature 72: The Best Worst Monster

by Peter S. Beagle

Read by Wilson Fowlie (of The Maple Leaf Singers)

Originally published in Sleight of Hand.

From the tips of his twisted, spiky horns all the way down to his jagged claws, the monster was without any doubt the biggest, ugliest, most horrible creature ever made. Since his master had put him together out of spare parts lying around the house, some bits of him were power tools and old television sets, while other bits were made of plastic and wood and stone. His fiery eyes were streaked red and yellow, like the autumn moon, and even his ears and his hair had claws.

“There!” his master said proudly. “Aren’t you a fine fellow?”

“Am I?” the monster asked. He had just seen himself in a mirror, and wasn’t sure.


Rated PG.

Listen to this PodCastle Miniature!



eytanz

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Reply #1 on: October 23, 2012, 12:47:14 PM
Delightful, in every way.

Great story, and great reading by Wilson Fowlie.



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Reply #2 on: October 23, 2012, 04:40:13 PM
A cute story.  I would've also enjoyed it if it were just the monster's song standalone.  :)



Schrodingrr

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Reply #3 on: October 23, 2012, 09:31:45 PM
--You had me at Peter S. Beagle   ;D
Adorable story. I shared it with my six-year-old daughter on the ride in to school the other day, and she loved it.

This sentence serves no purpose, so you don't have to read it if you don't want to.


chemistryguy

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Reply #4 on: October 24, 2012, 02:51:46 PM
--You had me at Peter S. Beagle   ;D
Adorable story. I shared it with my six-year-old daughter on the ride in to school the other day, and she loved it.

I don't know why that didn't occur to me.  It's totally kid friendly.

I liked this story in all the ways that The Terror of Blue John Gap left me cold.

It's just one more reason to love Beagle.


Scattercat

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Reply #5 on: October 25, 2012, 06:34:27 AM
A little Maurice Sendak-y, ne?

Highly enjoyable.



Max e^{i pi}

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Reply #6 on: October 31, 2012, 09:23:28 PM
Light and fluffy, just the way I like my flash.
Also, a hearty well done and many back thumps to Mr. Fowlie. I love your puzzled monster voice.

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Spindaddy

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Reply #7 on: November 01, 2012, 03:48:52 AM
This left a smile on my face and it was good to hear Wilson's voice once more! By the end, i could picture a total dance routine along with the song.

I'm not evil. I'm corporate.


Devoted135

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Reply #8 on: November 08, 2012, 05:45:24 PM
Such a lovely miniature. :) I particularly was amused by the master's attempts to de-conscience him.



Max e^{i pi}

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Reply #9 on: November 09, 2012, 10:34:19 AM
Such a lovely miniature. :) I particularly was amused by the master's attempts to de-conscience him.
Not de-conscience, de-soul. Sort of like with shoes.

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Devoted135

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Reply #10 on: November 09, 2012, 01:25:32 PM
Such a lovely miniature. :) I particularly was amused by the master's attempts to de-conscience him.
Not de-conscience, de-soul. Sort of like with shoes.

Oh, right. Sorry, it's been several weeks since I actually listened to it. :P



danooli

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Reply #11 on: October 30, 2013, 10:37:11 PM
I was just reminded of this one when my sister called.  I realized I made Wilson Fowlie singing my ringtone for when she called from that number, and now I have to ask...

Do I owe royalties?



DKT

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Reply #12 on: October 30, 2013, 11:40:59 PM
Uh....not if you send me the ringtone?

 ;D ;D ;D


danooli

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Reply #13 on: October 31, 2013, 12:57:41 AM
It's a good thing I don't empty my "recycle bin" all that often!   ;D



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Reply #14 on: October 31, 2013, 01:48:53 PM
I was just reminded of this one when my sister called.  I realized I made Wilson Fowlie singing my ringtone for when she called from that number, and now I have to ask...

Do I owe royalties?

That is freaking awesome.  I see an Escape Artists donation incentive!



danooli

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Reply #15 on: October 31, 2013, 02:46:12 PM
I was just reminded of this one when my sister called.  I realized I made Wilson Fowlie singing my ringtone for when she called from that number, and now I have to ask...

Do I owe royalties?

That is freaking awesome.  I see an Escape Artists donation incentive!
Did you hack mine or Daves email? LOL Or are you maybe clairvoyant? Perhaps its just an awesome idea....



Wilson Fowlie

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Reply #16 on: October 31, 2013, 04:01:37 PM
My wife wanted to know if your choice of ringtone for your sister means that you think she may not have a soul. ;)

As to a donation incentive, I think that is an awesome idea.

"People commonly use the word 'procrastination' to describe what they do on the Internet. It seems to me too mild to describe what's happening as merely not-doing-work. We don't call it procrastination when someone gets drunk instead of working." - Paul Graham


danooli

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Reply #17 on: October 31, 2013, 04:45:03 PM
Haha! If there are souls I am positive Pippi (my little baby 38 year old sister) is in possession of one. She is just slightly demented :-)



DKT

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Reply #18 on: October 31, 2013, 06:58:11 PM
PodCastle ringtones.

The possibilities are freaking endless  ;D

For us to use them as a donation incentive, we'd have to get author permission. I suspect we could do that in most cases...


Max e^{i pi}

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Reply #19 on: October 31, 2013, 09:11:08 PM
Um... question?
These days, when ringtones don't need to be MIDI files and can be just about any audio file, nearly anybody with 10 minutes of free time and access to Audacity (free as in beer and speech) can make their own ringtone.
So if I were a person who needed an incentive to donate to EA, and you guys dangled a ringtone in front of me I'd be all "So... where's the incentive?"

Since EA episodes are released under CC-NC-ND-SA, then maybe one simply cannot chop up pieces of the episode for use as a ringtone (I'm not sure what is and is not covered by "No Derivatives"). However, this particular episode (and maybe all PC Miniatures, I haven't checked) did not come with an attached legal disclaimer. So even if using a ringtone cut from the audio is not allowed under the ND section, perhaps in this case one may do so. And even make money off it, by selling the ringtone (if the ND doesn't hold up, then neither does the NC).
Of course, I am not a lawyer so you'd have to check.
And if anybody does anything legal or illegal based on what I wrote here in this post and face criminal charges and/or lawsuits, then it is their own fault for believing random, unqualified people on the internet. I will not be held responsible for any possible outcome and/or retribution that may come to pass and I wash my hands of the whole thing.

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danooli

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Reply #20 on: October 31, 2013, 09:44:33 PM
 :-\ erm...that's a great point.

I feel like a scofflaw now.



DKT

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Reply #21 on: October 31, 2013, 09:48:09 PM
Yeah, it'd be easy for a listener with extra time to do. Legally, it's questionable if you do it on your own, because of our license. (And all the episodes, even the miniatures, are distributed under that license.) For a little thank you, I think it might be fun to have a bunch of pre-made ringtones that get sent out.

QUICK! Match these lines with the appropriate stories and narrators!

"Fishy bitches broke the ship apart at the belly. Brought the whole catastrophe down."
TONIGHT, WE WILL GET DRUNK IN THE HUMAN FASHION!
We'll all die HORRRRRRRRRIBLY.
The only law you should be concerned with is the one against pissing me off!
MORE GIVE MORE NEW WORDS NEW WORDS NEW WORDS
Na Na fuck fuck I'm the King na na fuck fuck

Oh, from PP:

LISA LISA LISA!

We could get a ton from EP too...

I think as a thank you, listeners might be amused. But I could be wrong.

FWIW, this is not an official "Fundraising" discussion - I haven't had time to email the other editors/staff.


eytanz

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Reply #22 on: October 31, 2013, 09:51:06 PM
Um... question?
These days, when ringtones don't need to be MIDI files and can be just about any audio file, nearly anybody with 10 minutes of free time and access to Audacity (free as in beer and speech) can make their own ringtone.
So if I were a person who needed an incentive to donate to EA, and you guys dangled a ringtone in front of me I'd be all "So... where's the incentive?"

Well, not everyone knows how to/is interested in learning how generate their own ringtones (or, as Dave points out, hunting down the specific clips). The incentive might not work for you - or for me, for that matter, since I have never yet figured out the attraction of having a ringtone other than whatever factory default comes with whatever phone I'm using - but it will work for some.

Quote
Since EA episodes are released under CC-NC-ND-SA, then maybe one simply cannot chop up pieces of the episode for use as a ringtone (I'm not sure what is and is not covered by "No Derivatives"). However, this particular episode (and maybe all PC Miniatures, I haven't checked) did not come with an attached legal disclaimer. So even if using a ringtone cut from the audio is not allowed under the ND section, perhaps in this case one may do so. And even make money off it, by selling the ringtone (if the ND doesn't hold up, then neither does the NC).
Of course, I am not a lawyer so you'd have to check.

I'm pretty sure that he law goes the other direction; the default is maximum restrictiveness, not maximum allowance. If there is no claim that the episode is released under CC anywhere (and it doesn't have to be in the body of the file, if it's in the blog that counts too, by the way), then that means that it is illegal to do *anything* with it that's not protected under fair use. And while creating a ringtone for your own phone may reasonably be considered fair use, distributing it in any form - for payment or not - is most certainly not.



Wilson Fowlie

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Reply #23 on: October 31, 2013, 10:20:01 PM
Yeah, it'd be easy for a listener with extra time to do.

To add on to eytanz's point: It's that extra time thing that's the incentive. Sure, anyone with the technical savvy and time could make a ringtone out of any random line from any story that pleased them (leaving aside the legal issues). But many people - I daresay most, even - don't want to bother to figure things like that out and would rather just have them handed to them.

QUICK! Match these lines with the appropriate stories and narrators!

"Fishy bitches broke the ship apart at the belly. Brought the whole catastrophe down."
TONIGHT, WE WILL GET DRUNK IN THE HUMAN FASHION!
We'll all die HORRRRRRRRRIBLY.
The only law you should be concerned with is the one against pissing me off!
MORE GIVE MORE NEW WORDS NEW WORDS NEW WORDS
Na Na fuck fuck I'm the King na na fuck fuck

I can identify many:
1. "The Mermaid's Tea Party", Narrator: Don't remember, sorry.
2. "In The Stacks", Narrator: (well, character) Graeme Dunlop
3. "Squonk and the Horde of Apprentices", Narrator: Me. :)
4. ... huh, don't remember which story that's from
5. "In the Stacks" again. No recollection of who did those monsters though.
6. The title of the story eludes me ... something about California King? ... but I know the narrator is DKT.

I looked up the ones I didn't know, but I'll hide them for people who want to fill in the blanks. :)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)


"People commonly use the word 'procrastination' to describe what they do on the Internet. It seems to me too mild to describe what's happening as merely not-doing-work. We don't call it procrastination when someone gets drunk instead of working." - Paul Graham


Varda

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Reply #24 on: October 31, 2013, 10:32:15 PM
I would definitely get some use out of #5 on my cell phone! I won't even tell you guys how many times I've listened to "In The Stacks". When I add up the hours, it's kind of embarrassing.  :P

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Ocicat

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Reply #25 on: October 31, 2013, 11:00:31 PM

#5: Right, it was the Head Vocabuvore, played by Rachel Swirsky.


Or alternately, the same quote by me as the all the other Vocabuvores. 



Max e^{i pi}

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Reply #26 on: November 01, 2013, 07:56:21 AM
My OCD is acting up. Could we please split this discussion off to its own thread?
Thank you.

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Reply #27 on: November 01, 2013, 01:51:19 PM
Um... question?
These days, when ringtones don't need to be MIDI files and can be just about any audio file, nearly anybody with 10 minutes of free time and access to Audacity (free as in beer and speech) can make their own ringtone.
So if I were a person who needed an incentive to donate to EA, and you guys dangled a ringtone in front of me I'd be all "So... where's the incentive?"

Well, not everyone knows how to/is interested in learning how generate their own ringtones (or, as Dave points out, hunting down the specific clips). The incentive might not work for you - or for me, for that matter, since I have never yet figured out the attraction of having a ringtone other than whatever factory default comes with whatever phone I'm using - but it will work for some.

Although I do have Audacity and could probably muddle through how to make a ringtone out of my favorite audio-clip, I have enough side-projects going on that I'm not likely to do it.

But incentivizing for ME isn't the goal, since I've already subscribed and intend to stay that way.  I'll gladly take whatever rewards are sent my way, but the incentives are probably really more for people who need to be enticed by something other than "we will keep the podcast going as long as we have the cash to make it happen" which for me is the reason I've subscribed. 

And my personal take on incentives is that the more the merrier.  Someone doesn't like the ringtones--that's not a reason not to offer them, they are just one incentive.  They might like the stories, or might like something else that someone comes up with.

Plus if they were officially distributed, you wouldn't have the legality-of-distribution problem.