I enjoyed some parts of this, but it was so very over-the-top that I ended up more amused than horrified. Like, at first I thought the prostitute was some kind of mummy or zombie, based on the description, and the whole toilet-miscarriage thing just had me shaking my head at the excess. The language throughout teetered on (and occasionally fell over) the edge of purple prose, which on the one hand gave everything a sort of fever-dream vividness, but on the other hand kept making me chuckle. Add to that some threatening teenage punks right out of a boilerplate 80's 'dark future' movie (with a mohawk and a switchblade, fer pity's sake) and it just ended up feeling oddly goofy.
I like the closing image, and I dug the overall themes. I think that it was more effective than ineffective, in total. But I really don't think I was supposed to laugh in all the places that made me laugh.