Author Topic: PC292, Giant Episode: Scry  (Read 13394 times)

Varda

  • Rebound
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 2710
  • Definitely not an android.
Reply #25 on: January 16, 2014, 06:00:33 PM
Coming Soon! Varda's flash fiction collection: The Five Orgasms of Karnun Dae.

Actually...that's a pretty good title  :o

Oh God... in the middle of a library and... can't... stop... laughing!!

ETA: I was thinking if I were going to pick 5 people in the world for Dae to uber-seduce and thereby control the planet, one of them would have to be the Pope. Who would you guys pick?
« Last Edit: January 16, 2014, 06:15:08 PM by Varda »

Medical Microfiction: Stories About Science
http://rckjones.wordpress.com


Fenrix

  • Curmudgeonly Co-Editor of PseudoPod
  • Editor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3996
  • I always lock the door when I creep by daylight.
Reply #26 on: January 16, 2014, 08:10:54 PM
Coming Soon! Varda's flash fiction collection: The Five Orgasms of Karnun Dae.

Actually...that's a pretty good title  :o

Oh God... in the middle of a library and... can't... stop... laughing!!

ETA: I was thinking if I were going to pick 5 people in the world for Dae to uber-seduce and thereby control the planet, one of them would have to be the Pope. Who would you guys pick?

Well, since you're talking about our planet, POTUS is mandatory. Putin's not a bad choice and, gee, is the concept entertaining. Are there photos where he smiles?

All cat stories start with this statement: “My mother, who was the first cat, told me this...”


Varda

  • Rebound
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 2710
  • Definitely not an android.
Reply #27 on: January 16, 2014, 08:54:37 PM
Well, since you're talking about our planet, POTUS is mandatory. Putin's not a bad choice and, gee, is the concept entertaining. Are there photos where he smiles?

HAAA! Yessss, let's add Putin and Obama! Now our list needs someone ridiculously rich, and then perhaps someone from the entertainment industry to round it off.

The real question is, after seducing the whole world, will Dae ever be able to win Unblinking's heart? Or will he slink back to his spaceship, lock the door, and cry into his pillow over it? "Dear Diary, even after a personal demonstration of my skillz during the EA forum orgy, Unblinking still won't yield to my advances. He keeps saying that this is all a selfish act, that I'm only in it for the long con, and that anyway I'm not really capable of human love because I come from a separate evolutionary line. Sigh.  Now I know why they call him "Unblinking". :( I know that from this dae forth, whenever the wind whispers through the leaves, they'll say Karnun Unblinking Dae. Until that dae, I remain... Nameless."

(And I know you loved the story, Unblinking - just teasin'. :) )
« Last Edit: January 16, 2014, 09:02:48 PM by Varda »

Medical Microfiction: Stories About Science
http://rckjones.wordpress.com


Scattercat

  • Caution:
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 4904
  • Amateur wordsmith
    • Mirrorshards
Reply #28 on: January 17, 2014, 01:14:15 AM
Pretty much my logic; there are lots of people who might be more useful than a scryer at various times, but Dae doesn't seem to hop into bed with many others.  Reminds me of a comic strip (I want to say it was a Perry Bible Fellowship one, but it might have been something else) in which the characters are on a scavenger hunt and one of the items is "true happiness," so the one character leaves, goes to school, meets a woman, marries her, raises children, retires, walks with her on the beach, and after an implied sixty years or so goes, "Yes! Ha ha ha" or words to that effect and then runs back to "win" the scavenger hunt, which was presumably his true goal all along.



Fenrix

  • Curmudgeonly Co-Editor of PseudoPod
  • Editor
  • *****
  • Posts: 3996
  • I always lock the door when I creep by daylight.
Reply #29 on: January 17, 2014, 03:16:31 AM
Well, since you're talking about our planet, POTUS is mandatory. Putin's not a bad choice and, gee, is the concept entertaining. Are there photos where he smiles?

HAAA! Yessss, let's add Putin and Obama! Now our list needs someone ridiculously rich, and then perhaps someone from the entertainment industry to round it off.


Bill Gates and Jon Stewart? Imagine what a seduced Bill could do to all our windows. Apple users would actually have a reason to be smug.

All cat stories start with this statement: “My mother, who was the first cat, told me this...”


Unblinking

  • Sir Postsalot
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 8729
    • Diabolical Plots
Reply #30 on: January 17, 2014, 02:51:19 PM
However, I don't know that he's purely "rational" either; he could have gotten approximately the same amount of use from Esth by killing her like he'd said he would after playing nice for long enough to get her on his side. 

I disagree.  He gets a lifetime nearby a scryer this way, rather than some short amount of time with a scryer.

*Buckles seatbelt for really crazy thought experiment*

Yeah, but is this whole lifelong process of  cultivating an authenticly loving human relationship really paying off that well as an investment, and if so, why is he loyal to Esth alone? I mean, if Dae's really that good at the sexytimes, and he's willing to deploy said sexytimes as his Ultimate Weapon Of Manipulation, why isn't he using this to secure, well, everyone's loyalties? Esth isn't the only scryer, and scrying has its limitations anyway, and I bet there are all kinds of lonely hearts with mad skillz in need of a little Dae in their lives. Generals! Scientists! Hairdressers! Stockbrokers! That dancer in this week's EP episode! All his for the wooing, all putty in his impossibly limber hands! Granted, I hear he's only up to 5 orgasms at one go for men as opposed to 10 for women, but cut him a little slack and let him into your hearts, y'all!

 ;D

Yeah, but is this whole lifelong process of  cultivating an authenticly loving human relationship really paying off that well as an investment,

Yes.  He has a scryer for decades.  What about that isn't paying off? Also keep in mind that "lifelong" refers to HER lifespan, not his.  I don't remember if it actually said specifically, but I got the impression he didn't have a finite lifespan unless he unmade himself by lying. 

I mean, if Dae's really that good at the sexytimes, and he's willing to deploy said sexytimes as his Ultimate Weapon Of Manipulation, why isn't he using this to secure, well, everyone's loyalties?  Esth isn't the only scryer, and scrying has its limitations anyway, and I bet there are all kinds of lonely hearts with mad skillz in need of a little Dae in their lives.

Who says he isn't having sexytimes with other people for their mad skillz?  She's seen her death, but she doesn't know what he's done for all the span between now and that time. 

And what's the benefit of having multiple scryers rather than one?  Scrying has its limitations, but adding another scryer doesn't make those limitations go away.  And having just one scryer combined with the lifelong loyalty thing, on the other hand, could make some of the limitations go away because she'll be more likely to lift her own self imposed limitations like scrying family members and etc.

and that anyway I'm not really capable of human love because I come from a separate evolutionary line.

There, there, Dae.  You're not incapable of love because you're from a separate evolutionary line.  You're incapable of love because you lack the biology that supports emotion. 

The real question is, after seducing the whole world, will Dae ever be able to win Unblinking's heart?

I acknowledge that he would be an excellent lover (or rather, sexytimer, to differentiate from the emotion).  And, hey, I'm a product of biology like all the rest of humanity--I'm not made of stone.  Probably he'd be able to overcome the will of anyone who is not neutered.
The question is:  if he has the undying loyalty of everyone else on the planet, what's the benefit of bringing me into the fold?  Although I am of course a unique and unequalled flower amongst the botanical garden of humanity from my own POV, that may not be true from other people's perspective.  :)

Or will he slink back to his spaceship, lock the door, and cry into his pillow over it?

Nah.  See:  lacking biology for emotion.  He'll probably just go and play Pong.  Because I hear that aliens consider that to be the pinnacle of recreational gaming.  He'll make his eyes puffy and red by force of his will before he comes back out again, though, so that people will gossip about whether or not he was crying.  He can't tell them he can feel emotions, because that would be a lie, but he can make them suspect it. 



DKT

  • Friendly Neighborhood
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 4980
  • PodCastle is my Co-Pilot
    • Psalms & Hymns & Spiritual Noir
Reply #31 on: January 17, 2014, 02:57:08 PM
Heh. I just listened to EP's Heart Of Joy yesterday. Yeah, the dancer from that and Dae would be an interesting sequel!


Varda

  • Rebound
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 2710
  • Definitely not an android.
Reply #32 on: January 19, 2014, 03:16:40 AM
The question is:  if he has the undying loyalty of everyone else on the planet, what's the benefit of bringing me into the fold?  Although I am of course a unique and unequalled flower amongst the botanical garden of humanity from my own POV, that may not be true from other people's perspective.  :)

You'll be the only person left to oppose him, and therefore, the only person whose affections mean anything to him anymore, of course. At least if we're going by romance-novel logic. :P

Or will he slink back to his spaceship, lock the door, and cry into his pillow over it?
Nah.  See:  lacking biology for emotion.  He'll probably just go and play Pong.  Because I hear that aliens consider that to be the pinnacle of recreational gaming.  He'll make his eyes puffy and red by force of his will before he comes back out again, though, so that people will gossip about whether or not he was crying.  He can't tell them he can feel emotions, because that would be a lie, but he can make them suspect it. 

I was going to say that we need a scryer to settle this, but then I remembered he can tell when people are peeping on him. So it's sort of like if you've ever run into a little kid who gets into a really great temper tantrum and cries for like 10 minutes straight, and then turns it off when the adults are out of sight, only to crank up the volume again the moment the kid thinks anyone's in earshot.

We could make him pretty miserable, though, by getting people to scry him nonstop around the clock so that his actions become as good as his word. Downside: Dae's proven he's not averse to putting on the exhibitionist show when you scry him during sexytimes.

Bill Gates and Jon Stewart? Imagine what a seduced Bill could do to all our windows. Apple users would actually have a reason to be smug.

Excellent! We have humanity's dream team. Now we just put chastity belts on 'em, and Earth will be saved! Otherwise, someone's going to get stuck scrying on them during sexytimes, and sheesh, look at our list! I'm terrified.

Heh. I just listened to EP's Heart Of Joy yesterday. Yeah, the dancer from that and Dae would be an interesting sequel!

I think that from now on, whenever I run across a sad story about spurned lovers, I'm just going to imagine what happens in Act 2 when s/he meets Dae at a singles mixer on the nearest space station.  ;D

Medical Microfiction: Stories About Science
http://rckjones.wordpress.com


danooli

  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 1745
    • Who Doesn't Love Stories?
Reply #33 on: January 19, 2014, 01:43:20 PM
wow, all of the feelings and thoughts I had on this wonderful story were well discussed throughout this amazing thread.  I love this place so much.



Leishalynn

  • Extern
  • *
  • Posts: 9
Reply #34 on: January 29, 2014, 01:15:11 AM
I listen to podcasts at work to escape the mind-numbing boredom of some of my tasks. This is the first time I worked late, just because the suspense of not knowing what would become of a character was too much for me -- *that's* how good this story is.  :)



Ocicat

  • Castle Watchcat
  • Moderator
  • *****
  • Posts: 3722
  • Anything for a Weird Life
Reply #35 on: March 25, 2014, 09:47:51 PM
This story just won the Best Episode of 2013 poll!  Congratulations!



Unblinking

  • Sir Postsalot
  • Hipparch
  • ******
  • Posts: 8729
    • Diabolical Plots
Reply #36 on: October 06, 2014, 08:55:52 PM
I named this as #12 in my fave Podcastle of all time:
http://www.sfsignal.com/archives/2014/10/podcast-spotlight-podcastle/