I'm going to buck my own trend and say that I enjoyed it. My grumpy-pants must be in the wash today. And yes, I was one of the haters of the first Marla Mason story to run here.
This story showcased Marla's appeal much better, I thought, for one big reason:
1. She actually participated in the outcome of the story. In the other story, her minor character technomancer resolved the main conflict offscreen with no particular steering from Marla and she gets all the credit as the hero (ah the typical plight of the software engineer), and the only thing she really does is to frame the less dangerous but more annoying villain for being sexist. In that story I felt like Marla was really only around to produce quips, but apart from that you could've replaced her with any leader competent enough to let her expert underlings do the real work and the story would've turned out the same.
2. All the clever quipping in the other story got on my nerves after a while. This was exacerbated by her lack of actual effectiveness in that story, again, but might've been the case anyway. Yes, I get it, she's clever. Could she perhaps spend a little time doing something instead of spending all that time quipping? Made me think of Tyler Durden: "How's that working out for you? Being clever."
So I was happy to see that the resolution depended on Marla in this story. She took action, and the story's resolution depended upon the action that she took. And while there was plenty of quipping, I wasn't bugged by it. Perhaps because she was also kicking ass instead of just sitting on her administratively atrophied ass. But probably also in large part because the REASON she is the best suited person for this job is because she is strong-willed enough to cut through the narrative trying to form around her and the quipping is all a part of that. It was very clever to write the narration of the story as though Barrow were writing it as well, gave it a nice contrast between the purple over-the-top narration and Marla's straight talk.
And bonus points for making a story in a series that actually justifies why the hero of the series is the best person to do the job. It's her bloodymindedness that makes her capable of resisting the narrative the way no one else could.
I like how her straightforward honesty is what allows her to take the key as well and how the weakness in Barrow's own narrative dooms him to failure. "Wait, what, I need a REASON to be on the quest??? It's a quest! I quest because quest! That should be enough for anyone!" etc...
I also thought it was hilarious that he went all Dark Lord when his quest was foiled because he was still trying to find a way to shape the narrative based on what had happened. I'd be interested in reading a followup story if he managed to circumvent the obsidian door.