I listened to the audiobook of John Grisham's Skipping Christmas about ten years ago (it was about a year after the movie came out, I think). I only just yesterday got around to writing my review of it; thankfully the plot summary at Wikipedia saved me from having to reread it.
[REVIEW BEGINS]
It is the weekend after Thanksgiving Day, and Luther and Nora Krank have just sent their daughter Blair off to spend a year in Peru with the Peace Corps. A bad shopping experience soon after is the inciting incident prompting Luther's decision to "skip" Christmas this year, and with very little effort he convinces Nora to get on board with the idea to forego presents, decorations, and parties, instead going on a ten-day Caribbean cruise.
So begins Skipping Christmas by John Grisham, one of the legal-thriller-writer's efforts to step outside of his comfort zone.
Before I go on, let's look at the surname of our protagonists - "Krank" which implies that Luther is a "crank", or according to the dictionary "a person who has strange ideas and behaves in strange ways." It also implies that he is "cranky" which can mean "ill-tempered; irritable" or "eccentric or strange" - I'm positive Grisham had all of this in mind when he named his characters, and that we are not meant to sympathize with them - wanting to bypass the Christmas frenzy for a year is crazy, not something a rational person does.
In almost no time at all, the Kranks are the pariahs of the neighborhood. The other residents of Hemlock Street are angry that the Kranks won't be putting up the rooftop Frosty The Snowman that every house on the block puts up every year (conformity much?) which will probably keep them from winning the "best decorated block" award for the neighborhood. The Boy Scouts are disappointed when the Kranks don't buy a tree from them. The police are put out when the Kranks don't buy a calendar from them. They also upset the fruitcake salesman, and the stationer who usually fills their annual order of custom greeting cards. The Kranks are not entirely miserly to the charities, however, as Nora's sole condition for agreeing to the cruise was that they still donate to the church and to the Children's Hospital as they do every year.
This doesn't matter to the neighbors however, who begin a campaign of harassment to make the Kranks fall into line. Picketers with "Free Frosty" signs, and relentless carolers, take station in front of the house. The Kranks are plagued with harassing phone calls, and are even featured in a newspaper article painting them as hateful Scrooges. Constantly the message is conveyed "How dare you not be like us? You must be made to suffer until you conform!"
In spite of all this, the Kranks are still on track to depart Christmas morning, until late the morning of the 24th, they receive a call that, for once, is not somebody asking "Can I speak to Frosty?" Instead, it is their daughter Blair. She is calling from Miami airport where she's just arrived from Peru, and she is bringing her fiancé home to meet her parents. His name is Enriqué, he is a doctor, and they "fell in love at first sight and within a week decided to get married."
WHAT.
Luther, Nora - your daughter is a fucking idiot. You should have gone on the cruise.
But no. When Blair asks if her mother is still having the usual Christmas Eve party, Nora answers without thinking "Of course we are." Now Luther and Nora have mere hours to decorate the house, put up a tree, and arrange a party.
Luther manages to contact his neighbor across the street who has left town, and arranges to borrow their fully-decorated tree. He is spotted carrying it across the street, mistaken for a thief, and reported to the police and almost arrested. He also attempts to put Frosty on the roof, which is no job for one person to attempt alone, and nearly falls from the roof to the ground - his fall is interrupted by catching his leg on a rope, leaving him hanging upside-down and helpless. A neighbor reluctantly calls 9-1-1 for him and he is rescued.
As I understand it, this is supposed to be funny. We're supposed to enjoy Luther's misfortunes as the just desserts for his hubris in daring to try to buck tradition and go his own way. I didn't see it that way. I'd been pulling for the Kranks all along. Who can't identify with wanting to leave the stress and chaos of the holiday season behind just once? I suspect that much of the anger on Hemlock Street was envy, as well as Luther's plans causing them to think about their own unquestioned assumptions about all that they go through at this time of year.
Anyway, once on the ground again, Luther explains the situation. The neighbors are all out of goodwill for the Kranks, but because it's for Blair they all rally round to help Luther and Nora pull off a Christmas Miracle (tm). Yes, Blair, the dumbass who's engaged to marry a foreigner that she's known for less than a month, is the only reason that Luther and Nora's neighbors agree to help. Blair arrives and has nary a clue of what her parents have been going through for the past few weeks - Christmas is on, all is right on Hemlock Street, and we are left with Luther thinking "Skipping Christmas. What a ridiculous idea."
Boo. Fuck you, people of Hemlock Street, and fuck you especially, John Grisham.
