Being lazy and pasting my comments from the flash contest, though some of the qualms were less qualmy this time around, probably due to already knowing where the stories were going.
The Machine that Made Clothes
Ew, cool idea, that I've never! Not a bad execution.
Quote from: WinBear on September 17, 2013, 11:30:48 AM
For me, the disconnect is that we don't know how he feels about sacrificing his dog, wife and daughter until he jumps. The bit about the wife was almost enough. The coworkers' reaction to the little girl as necktie seemed at odds to his personal feelings. We needed a little more insight into him.
Yeah, I agree with this. Maybe with a longer wordcount? I thought the events themselves were fine, but were a bit distant considering he was literally turning his kinfolk into business attire.
He is such a slave to fashion he literally gives up his life to set a trend. Makes me happy that I'm not fashionable. And I will keep my distance from fashionable folk if this ever gets invented.
Tired Eyes and Clever Hands
Hmmm... I liked parts of this. But at the beginning I was searching for meaning of "Brindleton" for too long for my tastes. And the explanation of the dream bordered on "as you know bob" dialog in its extent of elaboration.
Mostly I liked the end and how it showed the softer side of the relationship.