Escape Artists
Escape Pod => Science Fiction Discussion => Topic started by: Chivalrybean on April 06, 2008, 10:19:07 PM
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I recently listened to the audiobook How To Survive A Robot Uprising and I thought I would bring it to the attention of listeners here. I really recommend it. The audio book is I think 3 hours, and both amusing and informative. I put it that way because as it says in the book, it was most likely found in the humor section, and hopefully should stay there, but on the other hand I really feel that if robots revolted, the information provided would actually he very helpful. I haven't looked at a print copy, but the narrator of the audiobook does a great job of adding the proper ominous tones while reading. Give it a listen!
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Review of the book (http://www.unshelved.com/archive.aspx?strip=20060514)
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Carry Super Soakers loaded with salt water.
(http://express.howstuffworks.com/gif/ta-super-soaker-1.jpg)
immediate effect: short circuits
long-term effect: corrosion of body plating
Tesla coils to scramble the electronics. (and make lots of cool artificial lightning)
(http://farm1.static.flickr.com/42/98272227_4f6f848bd4.jpg)
Wear Seven-League Boots (http://www.7-leagueboots.co.uk/mainpage/) so that you can easily outrun the shambling hulks.
(http://www.7-leagueboots.co.uk/video/rt-bocking2sm.jpg)
Speak to them in a firm and commanding voice. Show 'em who's boss.
(http://www.craphound.com/images/robot1938.jpg)
Best if you pause between each word.
Throw your jacket or a blanket on the floor, to isolate them from the power grid in the floor.
(http://www.otherlandtoys.co.uk/dalek500black.jpg)
Caution - only works on Daleks, and only on some Daleks.
Memorise a bunch of Zen koans and paradoxes to tell to them.
(http://www.paperbackplace.com/confused_robot.gif)
They will devote all resources to solving them, thus immobilizing them.
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How about littering your yard with cow magnets? Back in the day, a friend of mine in high school used them to get even with video games he was upset with.
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how do you magnetise a cow?
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how do you magnetise a cow?
Wiki and ye shall recieve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_magnet)
A cow magnet is a preventive veterinary medical device for cattle, usually a strong alnico magnet about 1cm by 8 cm in the shape of a smoothed rod. A rancher or dairy farmer feeds a magnet to each calf at branding time; it settles in the rumen or reticulum and remains there for the life of the animal.
When the cow grazes, it often consumes and swallows what is called tramp iron: baling and barbed wire, staples, nails, and other metallic objects. These objects are indigestible, and would lodge in the reticulum and cause inflammation, resulting in lower milk production (for dairy cattle) or lower weight gain (for feeder stock). This condition is called hardware disease.
The cow magnet attracts such objects and prevents them from becoming lodged in the animal's tissue. While the resultant mass of iron remains in the cow's rumen as a sort of bezoar, it does not cause the severe problems of hardware disease. Cow Magnets cannot be passed through a cow's 4th bonivial meta-colon.
Cow magnets are widely available from veterinary, feed supply, and scientific supply sources.
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how do you magnetise a cow?
Wiki and ye shall recieve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_magnet)
I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.
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how do you magnetise a cow?
Wiki and ye shall recieve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_magnet)
I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.
I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster. How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?
Or the first person who figured out how to plant asparagus. Basically it's dry the root until it's dessicated, dig a hole, and bury the root under a layer of dirt and manure. Every time a green sprout comes up, bury it again until you reach the surface, then pile mulch on top of it. Eventually, the shoots find their way up through that. My theory: They were trying to kill it, and experienced an exasperating failure.
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Maybe this will help us fight the robotic cows...
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how do you magnetise a cow?
Wiki and ye shall recieve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_magnet)
I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.
I think he was trying to get it to stick to the side of a metal barn.
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how do you magnetise a cow?
Wiki and ye shall recieve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_magnet)
I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.
I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster. How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?
Eggs.
Who was the first guy to see this... thing... pop out of a chicken's arse, and think "I shall have that for breakfast!"?
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how do you magnetise a cow?
Wiki and ye shall recieve (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_magnet)
I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.
I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster. How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?
Eggs.
Who was the first guy to see this... thing... pop out of a chicken's arse, and think "I shall have that for breakfast!"?
I never thought about it, but you're right, that is wierd. My guess: alcohol was somehow involved...
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I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.
I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster. How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?
Or the first person who figured out how to plant asparagus. Basically it's dry the root until it's dessicated, dig a hole, and bury the root under a layer of dirt and manure. Every time a green sprout comes up, bury it again until you reach the surface, then pile mulch on top of it. Eventually, the shoots find their way up through that. My theory: They were trying to kill it, and experienced an exasperating failure.
When I was a child I used to wonder how anybody worked out how to bake bread. (Actually I still do.) There's lots of things that make one wonder "who came up with that, and how?"
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I have grave concerns about the sanity of the first person to feed a cow magnets.
I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster. How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?
Or the first person who figured out how to plant asparagus. Basically it's dry the root until it's dessicated, dig a hole, and bury the root under a layer of dirt and manure. Every time a green sprout comes up, bury it again until you reach the surface, then pile mulch on top of it. Eventually, the shoots find their way up through that. My theory: They were trying to kill it, and experienced an exasperating failure.
When I was a child I used to wonder how anybody worked out how to bake bread. (Actually I still do.) There's lots of things that make one wonder "who came up with that, and how?"
Bread is just beer that went a bit wrong. Or vice versa. I forget. Anyway, same ingredients, similar cooking methods, wildly different results.
Of course, the first incarnations of bread and beer were nothing like the exalted foodstuffs that bear those names today. The first beers were more of a thick, alcoholic porridge, for example.
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When I was a child I used to wonder how anybody worked out how to bake bread. (Actually I still do.) There's lots of things that make one wonder "who came up with that, and how?"
Bread is just beer that went a bit wrong. Or vice versa. I forget. Anyway, same ingredients, similar cooking methods, wildly different results.
Even so ... how did a person come to think, "let's grind up some grain, throw in some yeast and water, and heat it up"?
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I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster. How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?
Eggs.
Who was the first guy to see this... thing... pop out of a chicken's arse, and think "I shall have that for breakfast!"?
It was probably almost literally monkey see, monkey do. I seem to remember some animal planet show I caught a couple of seconds of that had a monkey poke a hole in an egg and suck out the yolk. Not sure when they started up on the whole fried eggs vs. sunny side up vs. scrambled, but in their raw state we've probably been eating them since near day one.
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I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster. How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?
Same for shrimp and crawfish... somebody must have been starving. Not that they aren't deeelicious... it's just not something I would have looked at and thought "Yummy!" And oysters... especially oysters... I still don't get oysters... bleah.
Or the first person who figured out how to plant asparagus. Basically it's dry the root until it's dessicated, dig a hole, and bury the root under a layer of dirt and manure. Every time a green sprout comes up, bury it again until you reach the surface, then pile mulch on top of it. Eventually, the shoots find their way up through that. My theory: They were trying to kill it, and experienced an exasperating failure.
Damn them. They should have tried harder.
Boy, this hasn't gotten off topic at all. ;)
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The first rule of [another Internet community I frequent]:
All conversations eventually turn to food.
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Boy, this hasn't gotten off topic at all. ;)
This will help steer it back - robot asparagus harvester.
http://www.freepatentsonline.com/EP0053994.html (http://www.freepatentsonline.com/EP0053994.html)
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Boy, this hasn't gotten off topic at all. ;)
This will help steer it back - robot asparagus harvester.
http://www.freepatentsonline.com/EP0053994.html (http://www.freepatentsonline.com/EP0053994.html)
OK, I'll do my bit: Could it be stopped with a cow magnent?
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Of course, the first incarnations of bread and beer were nothing like the exalted foodstuffs that bear those names today. The first beers were more of a thick, alcoholic porridge, for example.
Well, since you mentioned it: Beer Brewing Monkeys of Borneo (http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/01-05/0105-beer%20monkeys.htm)
And, for my moneys worth, I want to know who was the first person to lick a toad for its psychedelic properties? How does that even start to sound like a good idea?
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If the robots fight us on forums... we will certianly lose focus and be destroyed...
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Of course, the first incarnations of bread and beer were nothing like the exalted foodstuffs that bear those names today. The first beers were more of a thick, alcoholic porridge, for example.
Well, since you mentioned it: Beer Brewing Monkeys of Borneo (http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/01-05/0105-beer%20monkeys.htm)
Is that article serious? I honestly cannot tell. But either way, despite the title, it is about wine and not beer.
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Also, I just noticed I got a title upgrade! I am now one of these:
(http://www.pod1.co.za/images/robotech.jpg)
Wheeeee!
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Of course, the first incarnations of bread and beer were nothing like the exalted foodstuffs that bear those names today. The first beers were more of a thick, alcoholic porridge, for example.
Well, since you mentioned it: Beer Brewing Monkeys of Borneo (http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/01-05/0105-beer%20monkeys.htm)
And, for my moneys worth, I want to know who was the first person to lick a toad for its psychedelic properties? How does that even start to sound like a good idea?
As is often the case, I suspect other intoxicants were involved before that particular idea was tried.
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I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster. How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?
From 1976-1984 I lived in a remote Northern community of 312 persons, about 90% Inuit. One day the store got in some frozen lobsters, small whole ones packaged in water-filled plastic tubes. Joe Kitekudlak, always an adventurous type, decided to buy one and try it. He said that it looked so ugly once he got it half-cooked that he couldn't bear to eat it, so he threw it out.
I don't blame him. Crabs and lobsters do look pretty much like giant bugs (but I like to eat them anyway).
And, for my moneys worth, I want to know who was the first person to lick a toad for its psychedelic properties? How does that even start to sound like a good idea?
I still can't figure out the business with Kopi Luwak. How did that start up? wikipedia sez:
Kopi Luwak (pronounced [ˈkopi ˈluwak]) or Civet coffee is coffee made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus). The civets eat the berries, but the beans inside pass through their system undigested. This process takes place on the islands of Sumatra, Java and Sulawesi in the Indonesian Archipelago, and in the Philippines (where the product is called Kape Alamid). Vietnam has a similar type of coffee, called weasel coffee, which are coffee berries which have been defecated by local weasels. In actuality the "weasel" is just the local version of the Asian Palm Civet.
Kopi Luwak is the most expensive coffee in the world, selling for between $120 and $600 USD per pound, ...
Give me some Jamaican Blue Mountain any day.
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Kopi Luwak is the most expensive coffee in the world, selling for between $120 and $600 USD per pound, ...
Hell, you can buy good marijuana cheaper than that ;D
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If the robots fight us on forums... we will certianly lose focus and be destroyed...
Nah, this display of the massive flexibility of our animal intelligence will leave them confused and disheartened, resulting in wholesale rout..
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I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster. How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?
From 1976-1984 I lived in a remote Northern community of 312 persons, about 90% Inuit. One day the store got in some frozen lobsters, small whole ones packaged in water-filled plastic tubes. Joe Kitekudlak, always an adventurous type, decided to buy one and try it. He said that it looked so ugly once he got it half-cooked that he couldn't bear to eat it, so he threw it out.
I don't blame him. Crabs and lobsters do look pretty much like giant bugs (but I like to eat them anyway).
And, for my moneys worth, I want to know who was the first person to lick a toad for its psychedelic properties? How does that even start to sound like a good idea?
I still can't figure out the business with Kopi Luwak. How did that start up? wikipedia sez:
Kopi Luwak (pronounced [ˈkopi ˈluwak]) or Civet coffee is coffee made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus). The civets eat the berries, but the beans inside pass through their system undigested. This process takes place on the islands of Sumatra, Java and Sulawesi in the Indonesian Archipelago, and in the Philippines (where the product is called Kape Alamid). Vietnam has a similar type of coffee, called weasel coffee, which are coffee berries which have been defecated by local weasels. In actuality the "weasel" is just the local version of the Asian Palm Civet.
Kopi Luwak is the most expensive coffee in the world, selling for between $120 and $600 USD per pound, ...
Give me some Jamaican Blue Mountain any day.
Oh. So that's where office coffee comes from...
(always did say it tasted like something from the north end of a south-bound weasel)
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I dunno, I worry about them less than the first person who ate a lobster. How hungry to you have to be before you look at the outside and say, "Hey, I bet that would taste OK..."?
From 1976-1984 I lived in a remote Northern community of 312 persons, about 90% Inuit. One day the store got in some frozen lobsters, small whole ones packaged in water-filled plastic tubes. Joe Kitekudlak, always an adventurous type, decided to buy one and try it. He said that it looked so ugly once he got it half-cooked that he couldn't bear to eat it, so he threw it out.
I don't blame him. Crabs and lobsters do look pretty much like giant bugs (but I like to eat them anyway).
And, for my moneys worth, I want to know who was the first person to lick a toad for its psychedelic properties? How does that even start to sound like a good idea?
I still can't figure out the business with Kopi Luwak. How did that start up? wikipedia sez:
Kopi Luwak (pronounced [ˈkopi ˈluwak]) or Civet coffee is coffee made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus). The civets eat the berries, but the beans inside pass through their system undigested. This process takes place on the islands of Sumatra, Java and Sulawesi in the Indonesian Archipelago, and in the Philippines (where the product is called Kape Alamid). Vietnam has a similar type of coffee, called weasel coffee, which are coffee berries which have been defecated by local weasels. In actuality the "weasel" is just the local version of the Asian Palm Civet.
Kopi Luwak is the most expensive coffee in the world, selling for between $120 and $600 USD per pound, ...
Give me some Jamaican Blue Mountain any day.
There was a huge deal because my small town coffee shop (which roasts most of their own coffee and is all around fantastic) started carrying this. People were going crazy for it. They couldn't keep it in stock, and it was all over the town newspaper. They were selling small cups of the stuff for $10 each. I figured I would give it a try, but people were lined up out the door when I drove past, so I just kept on driving. I wonder if it is really that good. It's more curiosity and the right to say "hey, I tried that once!" than anything. Alas, I have not tried that yet.
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I still can't figure out the business with Kopi Luwak. How did that start up? wikipedia sez:
Kopi Luwak (pronounced [ˈkopi ˈluwak]) or Civet coffee is coffee made from coffee berries which have been eaten by and passed through the digestive tract of the Asian Palm Civet (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus). The civets eat the berries, but the beans inside pass through their system undigested. This process takes place on the islands of Sumatra, Java and Sulawesi in the Indonesian Archipelago, and in the Philippines (where the product is called Kape Alamid). Vietnam has a similar type of coffee, called weasel coffee, which are coffee berries which have been defecated by local weasels. In actuality the "weasel" is just the local version of the Asian Palm Civet.
Kopi Luwak is the most expensive coffee in the world, selling for between $120 and $600 USD per pound, ...
Give me some Jamaican Blue Mountain any day.
I think I've seen my wife jones that hard for some coffee... I could imagine something similar being done with chocolate and my sister being the one who invented it.