Escape Artists

The Lounge at the End of the Universe => The Writing Forum => Topic started by: Listener on June 14, 2008, 11:27:16 AM

Title: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: Listener on June 14, 2008, 11:27:16 AM: While I enjoy a good horror story from time to time -- not necessarily gory-horror, but scary-suspense or scary-supernatural -- I never thought I would write one. In the last year or so, I've written three, and two of them have seriously disturbed me. One was graphically gory and involved attempted necrophilia (the zombie tried it, not the living human), and the other, which I wrote last night, was just so unpleasant... not because of what was happening to the protagonist, but because of what happened to the family that used to live in their house.

Anyway, I think they're good... or at least not bad... but I'm also disturbed by the fact that I can write stories about necrophilia and abuse. I freely admit that I'm a bit of a sadist, but only in a consensual setting. The latter story was not consensual. And as for the former? Well, I've never once entertained the idea of necrophilia. Ugh.

So how do these stories come to fruition? I'm not sure, but I know this: sometimes I scare myself with how far I'm willing to go to scare or disturb a reader. I just wish it didn't scare me at the same time.

Anyone else on the same wavelength here?

(crossposting to my blog)
Title: Re: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: zZzacha on June 14, 2008, 12:00:48 PM: Listener, I understand your thoughts! You think you must be real creepy to think up those stories. Sometimes I think I'm quite creepy to be listening to them, even to be laughing out loud when something really creepy happens when I least expect it.

But I also think that you must own a healthy mind because you can write about it. You might be a really creepy guy if you didn't write about the stuff, but if you thought about it all the time. You may have gone and acted them out maybe and then I would be very very afraid.

And I do understand what you mean! Sometimes I can think about things that are really creepy and I scare myself: "Wow, I'm a sick girl inside, I hope I never act it out." And the latter is the healthy part, because I think most people have scary thoughts from time to time. You are a very very healthy man by writing about it AND contemplating your thoughts!

Me, I have scary thoughts about eyes.... Sometimes a knife can scare me and I think: "Brrrr.... wouldn't it hurt, to put that knife in my eye? I hope I never do that! It would hurt, my eye would split open..." And then the scary part is over. Just because I let myself think about it, I think. Suppressing those thoughts will only lead to explosion, I think. (LOL, exploding eyes.... now I have myself going here!)

So please, keep your mind healthy by writing very scary stories about abuse or necrophelia so you don't have to act it out and I can listen and think "UGH! That's so sick!! I love it!!" So, scare me!
Title: Re: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: lateral on August 20, 2008, 01:06:06 PM: I think this is a completely natural phenomena of the human mind. So many impulses go in, and equally we generate so many thoughts that some are bound to be macabre.
Title: Re: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: ieDaddy on August 20, 2008, 07:47:10 PM: "I love to choose my own locations. I prefer the dark and moody settings that any of my projects indicate. And yes, sometimes I scare myself when I'm writing. Some of my dream sequences are scary. I try to judge whether it will scare anybody else, and if I think it will, I get this kind of maniacal grin, because I'm quite insane underneath."

-Stephen King ( http://www.foreveryoungnews.com/article/11614 (http://www.foreveryoungnews.com/article/11614) )

"TA: Do you ever fear what might come out when you are in that state?

SK: On a couple of occasions I've shocked myself. Pet Sematery was appalling when it first came out on to the page.

TA: Is there ever a self-censor at work?

SK: I think I've pretty much stunned him into submission [Laughs]...

TA: You must, in that sense have great faith in human nature, trusting yor instincts.

SK: To some degree. There are things in Dreamcatcher which has become an extremely gruesome book, where I found myself pulling back a bit. But I'm older now, it's a bit harder to do that stuff. Still, I'd hate to think I'd got so case-hardened I couldn't scare myself. "
-Interview with Stephen King ( http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2000/sep/14/stephenking.fiction (http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2000/sep/14/stephenking.fiction) )

That about sums it up. Even Stephen King can scare himself when writing. Would it be a bad thing to be as insane as SK?
Title: Re: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: Windup on August 21, 2008, 03:15:44 AM: When I was much, much younger -- late teens and early 20's -- I found that I was capable of generating some really gruesome fantasies. Scared the crap out of me. I wondered what kind of awful person I must be, to come up with that stuff.

Eventually, I came to see personal fantasy as a "free fire zone" in which hurts, irrational anger, destructive impulses, extreme egocentricity, etc. could be discharged without doing any real damage. The emotions provoked were real enough to me, but nobody else was affected. And I realized that I had absolutely no desire whatsoever to act out in real life -- even if I didn't care about the consequences for others (which I did), in most cases even making the attempt would have ruined it for me. They worked, quite literally, only as waking dreams. I came to see it as a "no hurt/no foul" situation and quit worrying about it.

Whether because of that realization or because my life generally improved quite a bit, my fantasy life became a brighter place. The occasional dark image rolls through once and a while, and I usually indulge it for a bit, but eventually grow tired of it. Sometimes I can see that it relates to a particular situation or ongoing frustration, sometimes not. Eventually, it goes at it came -- both unbidden and undismissed.

Far from being the "thought becomes the deed" person I've heard moralists describe, I'm apparently quite capable of spinning stories in my head as a substitute for action -- indefinitely. Never tried writing them down -- not really afraid, I just don't want to. And I suspect most people would find them tedious as much as anything.

Obviously, this is a very YMMV situation, but that's my experience, which is what I think you were asking for. I hope it helps.
Title: Re: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: MacArthurBug on August 25, 2008, 03:24:24 PM: I, for one, know where you're coming from. It IS disturbing to have and write out these dark and disturbing things. However, I feel it's pretty healthy and normal. We all own our own dark disturbing inner garden. Visiting it, even though it gives us chills, is normal stuff- at least as far as I'm concerned. If it weren't for writers that were willing to delve into nightmare worlds, scary inner recesses, and disturbing ideas, there would be no good horror fiction! So, please, delight in your dark dreams- so long as it's just your characters acting on these ideas.

And madam Z! Eeew eyeballs!
Title: Re: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: zZzacha on August 26, 2008, 10:11:01 AM: Quote from: MacArthurBug on August 25, 2008, 03:24:24 PM
I, for one, know where you're coming from. It IS disturbing to have and write out these dark and disturbing things. However, I feel it's pretty healthy and normal. We all own our own dark disturbing inner garden. Visiting it, even though it gives us chills, is normal stuff- at least as far as I'm concerned. If it weren't for writers that were willing to delve into nightmare worlds, scary inner recesses, and disturbing ideas, there would be no good horror fiction! So, please, delight in your dark dreams- so long as it's just your characters acting on these ideas.

And madam Z! Eeew eyeballs!

Madam M! We meet again! You speak so well of these matters, I have to agree with every word you say.
I intended to speak some more of these matters, but now all I can think about are eyes... sharp objects pointing at my eyes... pricking my eyeball... fluid streaming down my face... Eeew
Title: Re: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: Russell Nash on August 26, 2008, 11:58:13 AM: Quote from: zZzacha on August 26, 2008, 10:11:01 AM
Quote from: MacArthurBug on August 25, 2008, 03:24:24 PM
And madam Z! Eeew eyeballs!

Madam M! We meet again! You speak so well of these matters, I have to agree with every word you say.
I intended to speak some more of these matters, but now all I can think about are eyes... sharp objects pointing at my eyes... pricking my eyeball... fluid streaming down my face... Eeew

Eyeballs are easy. I have a podcast, I use for my classes, that explains how to put your eyeball back in if it pops out. I know that they understand it when they start looking slightly sick to their stomachs
Title: Re: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: zZzacha on August 26, 2008, 02:02:39 PM: Quote from: Russell Nash on August 26, 2008, 11:58:13 AM
Eyeballs are easy. I have a podcast, I use for my classes, that explains how to put your eyeball back in if it pops out. I know that they understand it when they start looking slightly sick to their stomachs

And thank you for that image, Mr. Nash!

Ehm.. how and when does an eyeball pop out? Just to know I need not to do that.
Title: Re: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: Russell Nash on August 26, 2008, 04:07:53 PM: It happened during the NCAA tournament last year on national TV. You can find the clip on youtube.
Title: Re: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: MacArthurBug on August 26, 2008, 06:33:06 PM: Ooh ick. Pardon me, my eyeball seems to have popped out. Lovely mental imagry *shudder*. Nash, you've managed to disturb me! Now I'm debating if I want to see someones eyeball pop out...

Madam Z! Great minds think alike!
Title: Re: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: Russell Nash on August 26, 2008, 07:46:53 PM: Quote from: Russell Nash on August 26, 2008, 04:07:53 PM
It happened during the NCAA tournament last year on national TV. You can find the clip on youtube.

Slow motion clip (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IGqim04eFM)

repeated close-up (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04WXA7mM0Eo)
Title: Re: sometimes I even scare myself
Post by: ieDaddy on August 26, 2008, 08:00:08 PM: Having coached high school sports - we were taught in our first aid classes how to stabilize a pencil that has been jammed into someone's eyeball with a paper dixie cup and tape.

While being taught this particular technique all I could think of is what kind of idiot dreams up these scenarios? I mean come on, who jabs themselves in the eye with a pencil?

Yeah. Turns out that the people who write those first aid books know what they're doing.