Escape Artists

The Lounge at the End of the Universe => Gallimaufry => Topic started by: stePH on February 11, 2009, 02:30:16 PM

Title: Split from Zathras' "Personal Message"
Post by: stePH on February 11, 2009, 02:30:16 PM: Quote from: Zathras on February 11, 2009, 05:52:00 AM
How can someone cope with having an abortion? I'm not trying to bring up whether it should be legal or not. I want to know how a person could voluntarily go through what I am going through. I know they have counselors to help, but I still don't understand.

The difference is very simple. You and your wife wanted the baby.
Title: Re: Split from Zathras' "Personal Message"
Post by: Russell Nash on February 11, 2009, 05:59:38 PM: Quote from: stePH on February 11, 2009, 02:30:16 PM
Quote from: Zathras on February 11, 2009, 05:52:00 AM
How can someone cope with having an abortion? I'm not trying to bring up whether it should be legal or not. I want to know how a person could voluntarily go through what I am going through. I know they have counselors to help, but I still don't understand.

The difference is very simple. You and your wife wanted the baby.

That being said and I think it's right, every woman, who has ever told me she had an abortion, said it was one of the hardest things they ever went through and they think about it often. It is an easy thing for only the coldest of people.

To go into stePH's comment a little deeper. Women, who have abortions, see the pregnancy as something horrible that has happened to them and how it will destroy plans and make things difficult. You guys wanted and tried to get pregnant. It was a wonderful thing for you. From the beginning you were pouring in love and hope and thinking about how the future would be. It's very different.
Title: Re: Split from Zathras' "Personal Message"
Post by: eytanz on February 11, 2009, 06:31:40 PM: Quote from: Russell Nash on February 11, 2009, 05:59:38 PM
To go into stePH's comment a little deeper. Women, who have abortions, see the pregnancy as something horrible that has happened to them and how it will destroy plans and make things difficult.

And let me also add - there's a big difference between doing something difficult and having something happen to you. In a somewhat less tragic domain - think about the difference between being laid off from a job you love, and quitting a job. Whether or not the person losing a job has any agency in the matter can really affect their emotional response.
Title: Re: Split from Zathras' "Personal Message"
Post by: Zathras on February 13, 2009, 03:42:36 AM: Thanks, guys. I was completely unable to imagine a different point of view. What you have said makes a lot of sense.