Escape Artists
The Lounge at the End of the Universe => Gallimaufry => Topic started by: Zathras on March 16, 2009, 03:58:28 PM
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New game:
Who's the coolest person ever? Now, before anyone jumps straight to someone like, say, The Hoff (not the coolest ever, but way up there), here's the trick:
You must pick someone just cooler than the last choice. For instance, if the latest entry was Scott Baio, you could go to Jason Bateman, but not all the way to Henry Winkler.
Feel free to justify your reasons, and to SHOUT DOWN someone who either jumps too far ahead or lists someone less cool.
To start things off, the first name on the list is.....
Alois Hitler (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alois_Hitler). I started very, very low to give other people a chance to move the list.
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Ok, I will bite:
Pepo (Euphemia) Gveseliani.
I don't know if it's a real person or not, but at least one source (http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780375757716&view=excerpt) claims that he was Stalin's cousin. Which isn't a particularly cool thing to be, but at least he wasn't Hitler's dad.
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me
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psh. i think Alois is cooler.
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I guess I will be waiting a long time to say "me" since I am cooler than anyone, ever, in all creation, real or imagined.
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i agree
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*thread suddenly has no reason to exist*
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Ok, in the beginning, we can take decent sized steps. But when we actually start getting to a level that people might argue, we'll need to slow it down.
My next selection:
Alexander IV
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My next selection:
Alexander IV
Carloman I
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Alright, time to modernize a bit.
Bernade Slade (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Slade)
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Good one. I'll have to give this some thought.
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Marty Kroft
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Gerry Anderson
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George Plimpton.
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Carson Kressley
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Rachel Ray
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Richard Moll
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Okay, back to a little less modern:
Tycho Brahe (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tycho_Brahe)
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Nevil Maskelyne (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nevil_Maskelyne) - another astronomer with a lunar crater named after him, but his surname sounds cooler. Oh, and also took part in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schiehallion_experiment
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Christopher Columbus. He'd be cooler, but he got lost.
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I'll one-up you with a two-fer:
Erik the Red (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erik_the_Red), the actual first European to sail to the New World (in the form of Greenland). And his son, Leif Ericson (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leif_Ericson), the first European to set foot on the actual continent of North America.
They're less famous than Columbus but undoubtedly cooler. Partly because they did it for real before he came later and took the credit, partly because they never got lost and thought they were in frikken India, but mostly just because they were Vikings.
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Brendan the Navigator, not only was he a monk but he allegedly sailed across the Atlantic in a the 6 century in a leather coracle. Even the Vikings would have been hard pushed to do that
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The original eco-terrorist: Johnny Appleseed.
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Meriwether Lewis
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William Clark
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William Clark
I dispute this. Lewis was cooler than Clark, which is why his name comes first. Also, Lewis has a woodpecker named after him, and Clark does not.
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Clark overruled :P
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Okay then, to end the debate, may I offer that Sacagawea (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacagawea) is cooler than both of them
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Okay then, to end the debate, may I offer that Sacagawea (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacagawea) is cooler than both of them
Hold your horses there, pardner! I think you're making too big of a jump. Sacagawea is way cooler than either Lewis or Clark. I say that you need to wait a while.
I offer up Ponce De Leon as an alternative.
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Hernán Cortés
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Ernest Tubb
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Wow, I knew ET was cool, Walkin' the Floor Over You is a really good song, among others, and there are plenty of songs about him. I just didn't know that this forum would think he's the coolest person ever!
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I just had no idea who Ernest Tubb was. Having looked him up, I think he's a considerable step down from Cortés.
Which is saying a bit.
Anyway, I offer forth Eleanor of Aquitaine (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine).
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::steals chair from Talia to whack Ocicat with it::
Cortes was a thief and an invader.
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::steals chair from Talia to whack Ocicat with it::
Cortes was a thief and an invader.
Doesn't that go for basically all of the explorers of that time.
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I put forward Catherine II of Russia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_The_Great).
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I put forward Catherine II of Russia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catherine_The_Great).
Which I'll follow up with Fidel Castro, but it might be too big of a jump (Took over an island with a radio and a small boatful of men, dictator, but mostly benevolent).
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Che Guevara
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Emperor Norton I (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_Norton).
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Che Guevara
I don't know that Che is actually cooler, he's been retroactively made so, but his biography's pretty dark.
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Jar-Jar Binks
::ducks and runs::
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Jar-Jar Binks
::ducks and runs::
::Swings and misses::
Willow
::follows Swamp apace::
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Jesus Christ elbow dropping a unicorn.... oh wait no that's Awesome...
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Emperor Norton I (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_Norton).
I challenge. He belongs much, much higher up than where you put him. Probably near the ultimate top of the list is where he should be.
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Emperor Norton I (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_Norton).
I challenge. He belongs much, much higher up than where you put him. Probably near the ultimate top of the list is where he should be.
Alright, Norton is retracted for now. I substitute Oscar Wilde (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_wilde).
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heraldel, i'd argue coolness is about 50-50 between actual action and reputation. He's on tshirts everywhere and yet few people know who he is. His face has become a legend. He's cool.
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aw Oscar Wilde is DEFINATELY around the top!
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Emperor Norton I (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emperor_Norton).
I challenge. He belongs much, much higher up than where you put him. Probably near the ultimate top of the list is where he should be.
Alright, Norton is retracted for now. I substitute Oscar Wilde (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oscar_wilde).
Again I challenge. Wilde is around the same territory as Norton I.
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How about King Kamehameha I (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kamehameha_I)?
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yeaaa but his name was then used in the Dragonball series and that is cool, so he gets a small boost of cool from that... but I won't challenge it.
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::Picks up the unconscious unicorn and waits for Swamp::
Jar Jar? I'm going to show you what unicorns do to the virgins they prefer...
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I do have four children, two of which can be directly linked to my DNA.
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Dang it! Guess you're safe then.
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threadomancy!
Jean Meslier (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jean_Meslier)
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An atheist Chatholic priest - that's something cooler than a crazy fake emperor though.
Speaking of religious non believers, I nominated L. Ron Hubbard
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An atheist Chatholic priest - that's something cooler than a crazy fake emperor though.
Speaking of religious non believers, I nominated L. Ron Hubbard
Dude, L. Ron Hubbard is way less cool than the Atheist Catholic Priest. I mean, both of them sucked in terms of hypocrisy, but Scientology's done a lot of damage (http://www.exscientologykids.com/), where I don't think we can argue the priest did.
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Agreed. Battlefield Earth is in my top five favorite novels, and I've enjoyed other things he's written as well, but as a human being, Hubbard's among the most contemptible men who ever lived.
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I have a feeling that in a few years or decades, a time capsule will be uncovered with a message from Hubbard laughing at all the dumb scientology people, it having all been just an experiment
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I have a feeling that in a few years or decades, a time capsule will be uncovered with a message from Hubbard laughing at all the dumb scientology people, it having all been just an experiment
I wouldn't be surprised. It's common knowledge (to anybody with any sense, i.e., non-Scientologists) that he invented the "religion" to make money, but he was already an asshole before that ... a pathological liar with delusions of grandeur.
(My source is L. Ron Hubbard: Messiah or Madman? by Bent Corydon and L. Ron Hubbard Jr.)
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a pathological liar with delusions of grandeur.
Not that there's anything wrong with that, right. *looks defensive!*
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I'm a bit lost in this game - I agree with all of you - I just think a jerk of a man to hoodwink that many people with what is so incredibly obvious as phoney - well it's not much different than a priest who stands in front his flock, takes their tithes and lies to them day after day after day - just a matter of scale.
But to get this back on track - I nominate Clifford the Big Red dog - slightly cooler than Hilter's dad and Che Guevera and not quite as cool as Oscar Wilde
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Thor Heyerdahl (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thor_Heyerdahl) He gets bonus points for being named Thor.
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I was going to submit Jackie Robinson in honor of the 62nd anniversary of his breaking the color barrier, but he's way cooler than everyone else on the list.
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Ok, moving this to the realm of people who are actually cool. Time to take a huge leap forward.
I nominate Jack Benny (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Benny). Not only did he have the famous skit for Your Money or Your Life, but he also refused to stay at a hotel because they wouldn't let Eddie Anderson stay there. His on and off screen personalities were near polar opposites.
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I'm pulling a Jack Benny. I turned 38 at my last b-day. I've jumped ahead to saying I'm 39. I figure if I get there early I can dig in and be 39 for the rest of my life.
If we're at Jack Benny, we have to go to George Burns. Before Jack died these two would bust on each other constantly.
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Jack never made George laugh, and it was a big deal. If anyone is interested, I can try to find the stories. They are fascinating.
George definitely was cooler, he played GOD!!!
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Gracie Allen. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gracie_Allen)
From the Wikipedia article: George Burns attributed all of the couple's early success to Allen, modestly ignoring his own brilliance as a straight man. He summed up their act in a classic quip: "All I had to do was say, 'Gracie, how's your brother?' and she talked for 38 years. And sometimes I didn't even have to remember to say 'Gracie, how's your brother?'
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George said his most important job was to not crinkle the script pages while he was playing opposite of her.
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Jack never made George laugh, and it was a big deal. If anyone is interested, I can try to find the stories. They are fascinating.
George definitely was cooler, he played GOD!!!
I think my favorite Burns/Benny story is about a party; I believe it was at Benny's. The party was turning out to be rather dull, so Benny asked Burns, "Do you think it would liven things up if I came downstairs playing the violin with no pants on?" Burns said something like "that's a great idea. Do it." Benny went upstairs to carry out the plan, and while he was up there, Burns announced:
"In a couple of minutes, Jack's going to come downstairs, with no pants on, playing the violin. Pay no attention to him." :D