Escape Artists
The Lounge at the End of the Universe => Gallimaufry => Topic started by: Zathras on April 16, 2009, 11:21:03 PM
-
We haven't had a decent (good natured) fight in here for a while. I'll get the ball rolling by sharing an email I received today:
Letter from the Boss:
As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barrack Obama is our President, and that our taxes, and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. Since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lot and found six 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change; I gave it to them. I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.
-
Yes, because losing the money in a lawsuit is immensely more satisfying that via taxes.
-
...jeez... thats a dumb move... and terrible... and have these tax increases even happened yet? (sorry i dont pay attention to this stuff, mostly because i dont care.)
-
...jeez... thats a dumb move... and terrible... and have these tax increases even happened yet? (sorry i dont pay attention to this stuff, mostly because i dont care.)
What tax increases there are will take effect next fiscal year, and for the most part we're going back to the taxation levels of the 90s for people making over 250k, with perhaps a few more loopholes closed.
Zathras, was this your boss? I can't remember if you said you were an owner-operator or not.
-
(It's a joke email that was forwarded to me. I thought it was clever, even if it is inaccurate.)
I am the boss, but don't have any employees but myself. Wait, Tinkerbell is the boss.
-
Wait, Tinkerbell is the boss.
Pssst... nice save! 8)
-
Too bad it's not real. Persecuting employees because of their political beliefs is illegal. Putting it in an email to the employees is admitting guilt of a crime. Case closed. The only question is the amount of damages.
-
(It's a joke email that was forwarded to me. I thought it was clever, even if it is inaccurate.)
Ah, CEO Mary Sue fantasies.
-
Too bad it's not real. Persecuting employees because of their political beliefs is illegal. Putting it in an email to the employees is admitting guilt of a crime. Case closed. The only question is the amount of damages.
Just before the election, our boss sent out a company wide email with vague threats about what bad stuff would happen if Barack Obama got elected. Even my Republican coworkers were weirded out.
My department had a meeting about it the next week where we all bitched about it for like 40 minutes. It was amusing.
-
Where's the outrage? Where's the fighting? This is entirely too civil...
::whacks Talia with the chair::
That oughta fix it!
PURPLE!
-
hey FUCK YOU and your anti Obama, communist republican bullshit, you rich cunt faced excuse for a man! Hit Talia one more time with a chair while screaming Purple communist bullshit and i'll rip you in half so fast you wont even bleed.
:D
-
Mods can't fight! No fair!
-
That's ok, he isn't even smart enough to realize that Communists and Republicans are opposites.
::smacks bdoomed with the chair, then whacks him with the barbed wire wrapped baseball bat::
Take that!
-
*wipes blood from face*
oh now you've done it...
FEEL MY WRATH! (and how it will hurt)
BLATANT ABUSE OF POWER MUAHAHAHAHAAAA :D
-
He's a witch! Burn him!
-
OMG! Who turned Zathras into a bunny? That was AWEsome.
-
*wipes blood from face*
oh now you've done it...
FEEL MY WRATH! (and how it will hurt)
BLATANT ABUSE OF POWER MUAHAHAHAHAAAA :D
Time for your chainsaw enema!
-
Just before the election, our boss sent out a company wide email with vague threats about what bad stuff would happen if Barack Obama got elected. Even my Republican coworkers were weirded out.
My department had a meeting about it the next week where we all bitched about it for like 40 minutes. It was amusing.
I still wish Hillary Clinton had been elected, just so my mom and stepdad could have a taste of how I've felt for the past eight years with their boy in office. Oh, well ... Sec. of State in the Obama administration is almost as satisfying.
(Am I a bad person?)
-
Time for your chainsaw enema!
GREEN!!
I grab you by your over-long, ridiculous bunny ears, spin you over and around my head a few times, and finally swing you into a corner of the wall. Your mask cracks to reveal your hideous face, and gangerous left eye which I promptly stab with a red-hot cattle prod.
With you skewered on the end of the still discharging cattle prod, I jab your whole body into Bdoomed's sprawled out, inert form. This is for not understanding anatomy well enough to realize you can't prevent bleeding by ripping quickly. Also for using the c word when women are in the room.
I chuckle as I watch you both do the Rock Lobster until the long-lasting battery dies out.
-
Where's the outrage? Where's the fighting? This is entirely too civil...
::whacks Talia with the chair::
That oughta fix it!
PURPLE!
hmm, I could use a nice new pair of socks. Bunny fur would work. *wields knife menacingly*
-
Mods can't fight! No fair!
Autarchs can, but I thought they were fighting each other.
-
hey no no no go back to the other bunny, Bunny...
-
Where's the outrage? Where's the fighting? This is entirely too civil...
::whacks Talia with the chair::
That oughta fix it!
PURPLE!
hmm, I could use a nice new pair of socks. Bunny fur would work. *wields knife menacingly*
If you happen to have any scraps left over, I'm looking for a new sock bunny:
(http://newagedolls.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/2.jpg)
I don't need any of the pretty purple parts for it.
-
If you happen to have any scraps left over, I'm looking for a new sock bunny:
(http://newagedolls.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/2.jpg)
I don't need any of the pretty purple parts for it.
Damn I think i saw that on some toothpaste (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darlie) recently. And while in some areas the logo has changed 'Darlie' still carries the Al Jolsen looking guy on the label.
-
Halp! I huv bin biten bie a wear rabbat
-
Halp! I huv bin biten bie a wear rabbat
Please keep your lycanthropy to yourself.
-
Halp! I huv bin biten bie a wear rabbat
Please keep your lycanthropy to yourself.
But, but death awaits us all with nasty big pointy teeth.
-
Plz do not be using the Hly Hndgrenaid of Auntie Ock!
-
All of you peasants should be thankful that I allow you to utilize the interweb. Now get on your knees and grovel!
-
I only recognize the authority of His Majesty Joshua Norton. And his rightful heir, whenever he or she should appear.
-
::sets up deck chair on a hill, cracks open a beer, and watches the battle::
Ah, internet wars...so amusing...
-
All of you peasants should be thankful that I allow you to utilize the interweb. Now get on your knees and grovel!
Well i didnt vote for you
-
All of you peasants should be thankful that I allow you to utilize the interweb. Now get on your knees and grovel!
Well i didnt vote for you
You have shite all over you. Shut up!
-
I disapprove of your shenanigans.
-
::sets up deck chair on a hill, cracks open a beer, and watches the battle::
/me switches the brew with lukewarm Old Milwaukee as the Balrog scratches and adjusts himself.
-
All of you peasants should be thankful that I allow you to utilize the interweb. Now get on your knees and grovel!
Meh. Sounds a little too much like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZyOxSTeWAg) at about the 3:30 mark.
You might try something like this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFyHTU8tg_0).
-
IMPOSTER!
-
That'll teach you to turn me into a bunny!
-
take that.
-
Owwwww....you newted me in the head.
-
All of you peasants should be thankful that I allow you to utilize the interweb. Now get on your knees and grovel!
Well i didnt vote for you
You have shite all over you. Shut up!
help help i'm being repressed
-
I swear. I go on vacation for a little while and this whole place goes to shit. I'll be back full time to keep you lunatics in line next week.
-
godlessness.
-
::sets up deck chair on a hill, cracks open a beer, and watches the battle::
/me switches the brew with lukewarm Old Milwaukee as the Balrog scratches and adjusts himself.
GAH!
Why? WHY must you offend my sensibilities so? Fiendish thing!
-
godlessness.
But I said I was Godless a long time ago.
-
Oh great and mighty N-sh! If Thou wouldst find it in Thine heart to restore me to a human form, I would gladly smite Thine enemies. In Thine light we bask and we are but motes of dust to Thee. Wouldst that I, a mere mortal could know Thy desires, I would strive to assist Thee.
-
::sets up deck chair on a hill, cracks open a beer, and watches the battle::
/me switches the brew with lukewarm Old Milwaukee as the Balrog scratches and adjusts himself.
GAH!
Why? WHY must you offend my sensibilities so? Fiendish thing!
What? Would you have preferred Pabst Blue Ribbon? Miller Lite? Maybe I should just lug out that cardboard box of fine wine that was being saved for just the right occasion?
-
Oh great and mighty N-sh! If Thou wouldst find it in Thine heart to restore me to a human form, I would gladly smite Thine enemies. In Thine light we bask and we are but motes of dust to Thee. Wouldst that I, a mere mortal could know Thy desires, I would strive to assist Thee.
Well, see, here's the conundrum. The current avatar is...dangerously close to showing sordid newty bits. (Well, it is if you squint at it just so.) If he were restored to his human form, what guarantee would we have that the next avatar wouldn't be lewd as well?
-
What? Would you have preferred Pabst Blue Ribbon? Miller Lite? Maybe I should just lug out that cardboard box of fine wine that was being saved for just the right occasion?
PBR and Miller are actually good beers. They are just as good as Budweiser. In my opinion, they are better. They are all American Domestic Swill. If you gave most people a glass of PBR with an empty Budweiser bottle, they would never know the difference.
Now, if we are going to talk about REAL beer, then most of the people in this forum would need links and an education. ;D
Just a few of the beers that I enjoy:
Stouts (I lump these all together, as I like them infrequently, so no need to say Oatmeal Stout Imperial Stout, etc.)
India Pale Ales
Pale Ales
Blonds
Unfiltered Wheats
Pilsners (Domestic Swill are pilsners)
Specialty Brews
Hefeweizen
Fruit Ales
I don't care for Nut Ales too often.
If you want to have a discussion about beer, start a new thread, I'll jump in!
-
PBR and Miller are actually good beers. They are just as good as Budweiser. In my opinion, they are better.
Wow, talk about damning with faint praise. :P
Yes, I like to call them "massproduced American* pisslagers". I'd rather drink a glass of cold water than drink Budweiser or the like.
*Of course, other countries have their own massproduced pisslagers as well, but the USA has elevated it almost to an art form.
-
I can barely handle the amount of bourbon found in your higher quality bread puddings. Handling the White Man's Firewater is something that's hard on my pretty little mind.
But if the friggin' king of the interweb got off his keister and provided the board with a proper Heorot, well, then, matters might take a different turn.
-
And just how long would it take Grendel to show up? Hmmm?
-
And just how long would it take Grendel to show up? Hmmm?
We could always just give him the O'Doul's.
-
And just how long would it take Grendel to show up? Hmmm?
...wait. Who are you?
-
You know, I'm thinking this newt thing is an improvement. You should consider staying this way.
-
And just how long would it take Grendel to show up? Hmmm?
...wait. Who are you?
I used to be Zathras, but something happened to me!
-
And just how long would it take Grendel to show up? Hmmm?
...wait. Who are you?
I used to be Zathras, but something happened to me!
Oh.
Well, when you mentioned Grendel, I thought you meant something else. Sorry.
Shame about the newt thing, though. Can I offer you a delicious mealworm or something?
-
i'm a witch, proven so because i weigh as much as a duck.
-
i'm a witch, proven so because i weigh as much as a duck.
Too bad your imaginary friend doesn't weigh anything. You really shouldn't shoot at him infront of nitro, either!
-
And just how long would it take Grendel to show up? Hmmm?
...wait. Who are you?
I used to be Zathras, but something happened to me!
Oh.
Well, when you mentioned Grendel, I thought you meant something else. Sorry.
Shame about the newt thing, though. Can I offer you a delicious mealworm or something?
Don't take it, man! Don't take it! He offered me a glowworm once, and I've never been the same since.
-
Oh you liked it, and you know it!
-
http://www.youtube.com/v/9ZlBUglE6Hc&hl=en&fs=1
-
http://www.youtube.com/v/9ZlBUglE6Hc&hl=en&fs=1
I interned at the Minstry of Willy Socks.
-
Oh you liked it, and you know it!
Never said I didn't. But the...tingling...isn't always appropriate in mixed company.
And at least I didn't diss your velvet worm (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8oV4RBYR9U) (pops up around the 2:00 mark, but boy oh boy around 2:20...).
-
Oh great and mighty N-sh! If Thou wouldst find it in Thine heart to restore me to a human form, I would gladly smite Thine enemies. In Thine light we bask and we are but motes of dust to Thee. Wouldst that I, a mere mortal could know Thy desires, I would strive to assist Thee.
Send your prayers and questions on the back of a $100 Bill for s/h to:
TCoRN
1313 Mockingbird Ln.
10101 Berlin
Germany
-
Tried that. The stamps stuck to my tongue.
Oh, and I've been really busy with a team challenge on one of my poker sites. I'm catching up on some of the stuff here, but not all. If you're interested in that kind of stuff, check out my blog.
-
Tried that. The stamps stuck to my tongue.
Oh, likely excuse. You're a newt, not a chameleon.
-
Having a husband that is a newt presents a serious problem now that we are trying to reproduce.
-
Having a husband that is a newt presents a serious problem now that we are trying to reproduce.
Nice sockpuppet, Zorag. :P ;)