Escape Artists
The Lounge at the End of the Universe => Gallimaufry => Topic started by: Jason M on September 18, 2009, 12:07:18 AM
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Actually He wants your soul, but your allegiance will do for now, and pie. Pie is always good.
To join His unholy ranks, all you must do is acknowledge in your signature or under your avatar that you are a "Servant of The Orator Maleficent". This is not His only title and He enjoys hearing His titles, so use them freely.
As a loyal follower of The Desecrator of Words, I will supply pie to any member I meet face to face. Yes, you heard correctly, I am not below bribery! As a bonus, any office holder in tcorn that switches allegiance will have a pie delivered to their home.
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this is blasphemy! this is madness! come to TCoRN! we've got tradition on our side. that and mods... lots of mod power. that's right, power.
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Four words:
Free Foot High Pies (http://www.foothipies.com/index.htm)*
*Foot hig pies will not be delivered, you must show up in person to receive your free pie.
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this is blasphemy! this is madness! come to TCoRN! we've got tradition on our side. that and mods... lots of mod power. that's right, power.
Tradition = stagnation. The Cult of Alasdair is growing, be a part of that growth. Get in on the ground level, before we bury you.
The Mods wield the power in tcorn and you will never get a sniff of it.
I am a capitalist, and a follower of The Perverter of Punctuation. There is a very good chance you will get a free pie.
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two words: Custom Title.
yeah, you heard me.
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Free Pseudopod tshirt to the first defector from tcorn.
Yeah, you heard ME.
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free $100 bill to write your prayer to N-sh on the back of! *
*just pay $100 processing and shipping fees
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this is blasphemy! this is madness! come to TCoRN! we've got tradition on our side. that and mods... lots of mod power. that's right, power.
Tradition = stagnation. The Cult of Alasdair is growing, be a part of that growth. Get in on the ground level, before we bury you.
The Mods wield the power in tcorn and you will never get a sniff of it.
I am a capitalist, and a follower of The Perverter of Punctuation. There is a very good chance you will get a free pie.
How can you argue with Someone who Perverts Punctuation, or pie for that matter.
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Alasdair's voice on your answering machine. That's right, His Unholiness Himself answering your phone.
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Alasdair's voice on your answering machine. That's right, His Unholiness Himself answering your phone.
damned true ;)
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I just started following Alasdair on Twitter. WTF more do you want from me?
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I'm catching the scent of a revival brewing. Many tents are beginning to pop up. Soon the forums will be full of converts and its citizens will be bickering over points of doctrine in story threads. May I suggest a better solution, a more rational solution, if you will. I mean who could really believe in a deity named N_sh--prayers on $100 bills and all that. And though I love the sounds of the the Orator Malificent, I cannot give him power over my soul. ...though the pies are tempting... No!
No, I must follow the path of one with more wisdom. One who has helped us see the source of both our biological and spiritual natures. I refer to the one and only St. Darwin. Yes, I am a St. Darwin Spiritualist. DKT has shown me the way (or totally corrupted me, I'm not sure which). Now I invite others to join me. Put on your goggles, people, and prepare to see the truth. We can't offer you pies, but I have one word for you...
Ghostgasms!
If you have no idea what I am talking about go here (http://www.variantfrequencies.com/2008/05/10/saint-darwins-spirituals/).
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I'm catching the scent of a revival brewing. Many tents are beginning to pop up. Soon the forums will be full of converts and its citizens will be bickering over points of doctrine in story threads. May I suggest a better solution, a more rational solution, if you will. I mean who could really believe in a deity named N_sh--prayers on $100 bills and all that. And though I love the sounds of the the Orator Malificent, I cannot give him power over my soul. ...though the pies are tempting... No!
No, I must follow the path of one with more wisdom. One who has helped us see the source of both our biological and spiritual natures. I refer to the one and only St. Darwin. Yes, I am a St. Darwin Spiritualist. DKT has shown me the way (or totally corrupted me, I'm not sure which). Now I invite others to join me. Put on your goggles, people, and prepare to see the truth. We can't offer you pies, but I have one word for you...
Ghostgasms!
If you have no idea what I am talking about go here (http://www.variantfrequencies.com/2008/05/10/saint-darwins-spirituals/).
Finally, something the followers of The Maleficent Orator and TCoRN can agree on:
STONE HIM
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I'm catching the scent of a revival brewing. Many tents are beginning to pop up. Soon the forums will be full of converts and its citizens will be bickering over points of doctrine in story threads. May I suggest a better solution, a more rational solution, if you will. I mean who could really believe in a deity named N_sh--prayers on $100 bills and all that. And though I love the sounds of the the Orator Malificent, I cannot give him power over my soul. ...though the pies are tempting... No!
No, I must follow the path of one with more wisdom. One who has helped us see the source of both our biological and spiritual natures. I refer to the one and only St. Darwin. Yes, I am a St. Darwin Spiritualist. DKT has shown me the way (or totally corrupted me, I'm not sure which). Now I invite others to join me. Put on your goggles, people, and prepare to see the truth. We can't offer you pies, but I have one word for you...
Ghostgasms!
If you have no idea what I am talking about go here (http://www.variantfrequencies.com/2008/05/10/saint-darwins-spirituals/).
Finally, something the followers of The Maleficent Orator and TCoRN can agree on:
STONE HIM
Dude. My followers can have sex with ghosts (or maybe, are ghosts). WTF are your puny little corporeal stones going to do them? Hmmmmmmmmm?
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As a loyal follower of The Desecrator of Words, I will supply pie to any member I meet face to face. Yes, you heard correctly, I am not below bribery! As a bonus, any office holder in tcorn that switches allegiance will have a pie delivered to their home.
Before I swear fealty, you must ...
(http://michaelcorey.ntirety.com/Portals/1101/images/jerry.jpg)
... show me the pie!
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(http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/03/alec-baldwin-glengarry-gle.jpg)
Pie is for defectors.
Well, up front pie is for defectors. Prove to me that you were a member of tcOrn and I'll show you the pie!
Show me the pie!
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Actually He wants your soul, but your allegiance will do for now, and pie.
[snip]
As a loyal follower of The Desecrator of Words, I will supply pie to any member I meet face to face.
[snip]
Those are two complete (if clumsily constructed) sentences.
Neither has mention of TCoRN.
I'm beginning to wonder if there even is any pie.
Is it "Schrodinger's Pie"? Both existing AND not existing until the allegiance is sworn and the waveform collapses?
And on that note:
(http://vefir.mh.is/emjul/efni/nemverk/nemv-v07/schrodinger/schrodingers%20fridge.gif)
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How about a speech from the mountain-top (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temptation_of_Jesus) overlooking the city, offering mastery of the universe? It might sway me.
Oh, and bring pie.
Venison mincemeat pie.
And a scoop vanilla ice cream.
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Ah, the key was if I meet you face to face. The defectors get pie express shipped to their doorsteps.
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You're working amazingly hard at this. All I did was make one statement and send PMs to my High Priest and Priestess.
I'll tell you one thing. There's not much money in this. It was over a year before I was averaging over ten prayers a month.
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You're working amazingly hard at this. All I did was make one statement and send PMs to my High Priest and Priestess.
I'll tell you one thing. There's not much money in this. It was over a year before I was averaging over ten prayers a month.
Yes, but this is all for Him. Also, I will be leaving the forums for a while, so I need to throw some fuel on the fire before I go.
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Also, I will be leaving the forums for a while, ...
And what shall be the signs of thy return, that we may prepare ourselves?
[edit]
Oh wait. You're going away, not Him.
::) Forget it then.
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We must have stuck a nerve. Servants of The Orator Maleficent, beware, the autarchs are assaulting the very base of our beliefs.
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Ya know, as High Priest of TCoRN I'd like to point out that our g-d took time out of running the universe to personally reply to this feeble upstart cult you have going on. Heck, even DKT showed up, and he's barely even a fetish. So where is your god? Too busy playing dice on Dunmanifestin to stand up for himself?
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He does not need to notice us. We just need to praise Him.
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From the look of things he's been busy providing for his followers
http://www.alasdairstuart.com/2009/09/25/wheres-al-the-bigger-on-the-inside-edition-part-2/ (http://www.alasdairstuart.com/2009/09/25/wheres-al-the-bigger-on-the-inside-edition-part-2/)
http://www.alasdairstuart.com/2009/09/23/wheres-al-the-bigger-on-the-inside-edition-part-1/ (http://www.alasdairstuart.com/2009/09/23/wheres-al-the-bigger-on-the-inside-edition-part-1/)
;D
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So you're suggesting we all abandon our proven, personal, active gods and break bread with one that's so busy he won't even know we're there, let alone update his blog regularly?
What's next; trying to convince us that we should give up feasting and dancing naked around a fire to sit on hard benches and look at some guy who's been nailed to a plus sign?
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What's next; trying to convince us that we should give up feasting and dancing naked around a fire to sit on hard benches and look at some guy who's been nailed to a plus sign?
sounds like a good idea to me.
lets do it.
while we're at it we can yell at those still dancing around the fire.
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What's next; trying to convince us that we should give up feasting and dancing naked around a fire to sit on hard benches and look at some guy who's been nailed to a plus sign?
sounds like a good idea to me.
lets do it.
while we're at it we can yell at those still dancing around the fire.
*headdesk*
You aren't supposed to like the alternative, Prophet.
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What's next; trying to convince us that we should give up feasting and dancing naked around a fire to sit on hard benches and look at some guy who's been nailed to a plus sign?
sounds like a good idea to me.
lets do it.
while we're at it we can yell at those still dancing around the fire.
*headdesk*
You aren't supposed to like the alternative, Prophet.
Does the phrase "secret sacred ritual" mean nothing to you guys. Next time I'm telling the girls they have to wear clothes.
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What's next; trying to convince us that we should give up feasting and dancing naked around a fire to sit on hard benches and look at some guy who's been nailed to a plus sign?
sounds like a good idea to me.
lets do it.
while we're at it we can yell at those still dancing around the fire.
*headdesk*
You aren't supposed to like the alternative, Prophet.
Does the phrase "secret sacred ritual" mean nothing to you guys. Next time I'm telling the girls they have to wear clothes.
You're still mad that we mixed up the the Wet T-shirt contest with the Burnt Offerings, aren't you?
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so that's where shwankie went.
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so that's where shwankie went.
No, no. She pulled a ham string during the Sacrificial Pole Dance Competition.
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so that's where shwankie went.
No, no. She pulled a ham string during the Sacrificial Pole Dance Competition.
Serves her right. No one should do that with a goat.
Edit:typo
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so that's where shwankie went.
No, no. She pulled a ham string during the Sacrificial Pole Dance Competition.
Servers her right. No one should do that with a goat.
Go on acting all high-and-mighty. You were at the tip rail with the rest of us.
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so that's where shwankie went.
No, no. She pulled a ham string during the Sacrificial Pole Dance Competition.
Servers her right. No one should do that with a goat.
Go on acting all high-and-mighty. You were at the tip rail with the rest of us.
Was not. She came to my booth.
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Damn! Typo was fixed. But you still got it wrong, didn't you? Shouldn't it have been severs her right?
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Damn! Typo was fixed. But you still got it wrong, didn't you? Shouldn't it have been severs her right?
Why do you make such comments? We were talking about serious religious observations.
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Damn! Typo was fixed. But you still got it wrong, didn't you? Shouldn't it have been severs her right?
Why do you make such comments? We were talking about serious religious observations.
We make such comments because we serve HIS WILL, there is punctuation to pervert, Worlds to be destroyed, and orations to be made Maleficent. May these comments please YOU oh MIGHTY Alisdair, Bringer of Despair.
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i am just wating for al's " its hard to be a god" out-tro
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How can I give my worship and devotion to a man who promised a final Pancast episode on the Doctor Who season finale (http://forum.escapeartists.net/index.php?topic=1887.msg33408#msg33408) over a year ago, and has still failed to deliver on it? :P
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I don't need pie, offering or bribes. I happily follow the Orator Maleficent. Although N_sh is mighty, he has no accent.