Escape Artists

PseudoPod => Episode Comments => Topic started by: Bdoomed on April 16, 2011, 05:37:40 PM

Title: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: Bdoomed on April 16, 2011, 05:37:40 PM: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap (http://pseudopod.org/?p=320)

By Nathan Robinson

His stories can be found online at Spinetinglers (http://www.spinetinglers.co.uk/). This story originally appeared at The Dark Fiction Spotlight (http://www.thedarkfiction.com/).

Read by Ben Phillips (http://painfulreminder.net/). Some guy… you may have heard of him.

I would be remiss if I didn’t provide a link to this (http://www.news.com.au/breaking-news/bodies-uncovered-in-mass-graves-in-mexico/story-e6frfku0-1226038652617/)

“I open my eyes and the dead smile back with bare teeth. In the fresh, sparse daylight I can see the bodies beneath me. I want to reach out and touch their faces, close their beseeching eyes. I recognize a few of them. Some I don’t, either through decomposition or the fact that I didn’t dump them here. Marcone has a lot of guys and a lot of enemies, so a few strangers sit down here with me.

The thought of food rumbles my stomach, making it ache. I keep my eyes up, away from the bodies, I look up the throat of the shaft, towards daylight, towards hope.”

(http://pseudopod.org/wp-content/plugins/podpress/images/audio_mp3_button.png)
Listen to this week's Pseudopod. (http://media.libsyn.com/media/pseudopod/Pseudo225_TopOfTheHeap.mp3)
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: Sgarre1 on April 17, 2011, 12:25:48 AM: Just to stave off unnecessary posts - yes, it would have been nice to get a Hispanic narrator. Really nice. But much searching, including craigslist posts in selected cities, turned up nothing. If you know any Hispanic readers, please direct them our way. That is all, we now return you to your regularly scheduled bloodsport...
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: Megaflow on April 17, 2011, 02:11:25 AM: Hi - my first post here on Pseudopod, but I've been listening for some time.

I hate to say this about such a well-written story, but I didn't actually like it. The prose was interesting, and the descriptions suitably creepy, but... Well, nothing happened. There was a setup, an inevitable conclusion, and no surprise anywhere along the way. And I know horror doesn't need to teach us (or the protagonist) a lesson all the time but the main character here seemed to not only learn nothing, but have no interest at all in anything. Even the fact that he was trapped in a pit with bodies rotting around him and a hideously damaged leg seemed to have strangely little effect on him (other than the obvious pain and disgust).

The situation was set up well, and the story really seemed poised to take us somewhere interesting, but it never happened for me. When it ended I was quite disappointed that such a potentially good idea had fizzled. I'd be happy to read more by the author, but would hope that other stories are more fleshed out beyond the initial pages.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: kibitzer on April 17, 2011, 04:13:37 AM: I really like this one. It's an imagining into what such a horrible situation would be like and given the links and refs, may well have happened at some time. Truly horrible.

Great!
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on April 17, 2011, 04:28:19 PM: Glad you liked it KIBITZER, bit freaky with the news story two days before the story was released, I never thought they'd find the bodies.

MEGAFLOW- Thank you for your comments, but I feel I have to reply in order to answer your questions. The reason you think the story never really goes anywhere, because it can't. He's stuck in the pit with nowhere to go. I suggest as to why the horror has little effect on him, this guy is a gangster, he's killed, he's used to death and blood. Plus the painkillers and booze maybe numb him from what he see's.
As for the ending, I wanted to leave it up to the reader/listener to make up their own mind what happens. What do you think his chances are with a gangrened leg, alone in the desert should he even manages to escape the mine shaft?
I have considered writing a sequel where he escapes the shaft and plots revenge on his bosses, but I think for the time being I'll leave it open to you to decide how it ends.

Should you wish to peruse more of my work check out March, May, June, July, December 2010, and March 2011 winners on www.spinetinglers.co.uk. Less crime more Horror. If you've too much money check out Tales of a Woman Scorned, Quakes and Storms, Soup of Souls all from www.panicpress.org. Let me know if you like any of these.

Cheers Nat
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: Sgarre1 on April 17, 2011, 04:40:41 PM: Thanks for coming on, Nathan. Please check back as there should be more comments with time.

BTW - I liked the open ending, and the possibility that what we've seen is the prelude to a hideous revenge scenario familiar from many crime and horror movies or, just as likely, the last desperate act of a dying man. On the other hand, I *like* that open ending, so I don't think I'd want to read an actual follow-up.

As an aside, it was a jungle, not a desert, right?
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on April 17, 2011, 08:31:43 PM: Backyard of Mexico. Think sparse desert scape with mountains in the back ground, mesquite trees, not many cactus's as such, greenery starting to push it's way through the flora as the rainy season takes hold. Never been to Mexico so it was all my imagination.
As for follow ups I've my fingers crossed that I get another story on the pod ASAP, I've got quite a back catalogue this past year, so any you want, you can have ;)
Nat
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: Millenium_King on April 18, 2011, 04:38:17 AM: I thought this was a decent story - certainly ghoulish in aspect and execution. But, as pointed out before, the story leads to an inevitable conclusion. I liked the fact that he swims away rather than just dying and leaving his diary behind. Still, its not much of a difference than him simply dying. It's a long description of suffering followed by a conclusion. Is the story really structurally that different from "El Hombre Muerto" by Horacio Quiroga or "Man Overboard!" by Winston Churchill, or "The Second Internment" by Clark Ashton Smith or even, the grandfather of them all, "The Premature Burial" by Poe?

Still, it had tension and was pretty ghastly. Kept me listening for sure.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: Unblinking on April 18, 2011, 02:01:43 PM: I liked the open ending. In his situation, it was either that or just have him die, but of course even that wouldn't have been recorded on his Blackberry. Sure it didn't go anywhere, because that was the point of the story, there was nowhere to go. He did better than many would do, even strategically using his bullets to remove the dead limb, something I hadn't thought of. I also hadn't really thought of chewing the paper for whatever calories it could give... I guess that's analagous to soldiers boiling their boots and eating them during a long siege.

And, hey, welcome Nathan! I always like to see an author stop by. I love these forums because there are not many places where you get such great discussions of stories. Just don't expect anyone to consider you the ultimate authority on the story. Many, like me, take the stance that the story is defined concretely only by the words within it. Author explanations are interesting and fun, but if I take a view supported by the text but not by the author, I consider that equally valid. (Which I didn't in this case, but in general...)
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: Loz on April 18, 2011, 06:36:00 PM: Well, that was nice. I think what made it for me, as Alasdair alluded to in his outro, is that the guy systematically had everything taken away from him, his health, his voice, his girlfriend, his wife and child, then even jettisons bits of his body, but he never loses hope. He's quite probably nuts, but he never quite thinks he's finished, there's always something else to try before the lead sandwich exit. Too many horror stories are all about some idiot making seven bad choices and moaning after each one, it's good to see an author not taking that easy way out.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on April 19, 2011, 08:44:37 PM: Cheers for the kind words peoples!
Unblinking- Completley agree with you there, stories belong to the listener/reader once the author has released/abandoned it to the public forum. And any other slants/opinions on this are welcome positive or negetive. Tell Your Friends! Warn Your Enemies!

Loz- There is never an easy way out of my stories!

Millenium King- Never read any of those but will be sure to check them out. My original inspiration for this was the news story last year, then I read Surivor Type....

A print version of this story will shortly be released by The Dark Fiction Spotlight if you would like a collectable should I be famous some day. Also I have a new story released by Panic Press in their charity Antho QUAKES AND STORMS, all proceeds go towards the Red Cross helping the poor folks affected by the Japanese Earthquake, while you're there grab a copy of SOUP OF SOULS, a tasty tome of moralistic horror!
Nat out
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: ElectricPaladin on April 19, 2011, 10:39:24 PM: That was great. Will you be creeped out if I say I found it inspiring? I did. It was gory and sick and evil and cruel and beautiful, just like great horror should be. I found myself wanting to go in the supernatural direction - the thing he could become, down among the dead, stewing in his hate and grief - but I don't fault the story for doing something different. In a sense, he did become a thing, just not supernaturally, and probably not a thing that will ever get to kill.

I also liked the weird positive spin Alasdair put on the story. We are damned hard to kill, aren't we? There's something very striking about that. I liked seeing human indomitability given a wicked spin in this wicked little tale.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: matweller on April 20, 2011, 12:53:15 PM: When he went to cannibalism so easily, I had a glimmer of hope that maybe he could live in there permanently/indefinitely and become a monster in a well. Then, maybe a rival gang leader could dump his former boss down there some day so he could have retribution.

I would love to see this spun out to a full-length story. The potential for the anguish over discovering his girl and child in there are amazing...especially if then the boss was dumped in -- oh, the delicious evil that could be inflicted!
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: Listener on April 21, 2011, 09:30:33 PM: I found this story suitably disgusting. It so happens that as the MC was eating his first piece of human, I was eating a chicken sandwich. I guess it's not so bad if you don't have to SEE it. (The long pig, not the chicken.) I didn't mind so much that it didn't go anywhere, so to speak, and I really liked the use of technology although I wonder how much narrative license was taken with the MC. He's a gang member -- which isn't to say they're stupid, per se, but some of the words he typed into the Blackberry didn't really ring true with the nature of the character. Additionally, I've NEVER seen a painkiller bottle big enough to hold even a Blackberry Pearl. Just saying.

Overall I enjoyed the story.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: stePH on April 21, 2011, 10:29:48 PM: off-topic, regarding Alasdair's outro: "All of them hurt" is a very loose paraphrase of the Dark Knight. The bit you're alluding to, I can quote from memory:

Quote
There are seven working defenses from this position.
Three of them disarm with minimal contact.
Three of them kill.
The other one... hurts.

...back on topic: Cool story, bro!
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: Unblinking on April 22, 2011, 01:32:38 PM: Quote from: Listener on April 21, 2011, 09:30:33 PM
Additionally, I've NEVER seen a painkiller bottle big enough to hold even a Blackberry Pearl. Just saying.

I found that odd too. Especially not a pill bottle that you're likely to carry round with you. Even if the pills came in a giant bottle you'd probably find a smaller container to keep them in for easy toting.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on April 22, 2011, 06:17:37 PM: Sorry about the sandwich Listener:)
I've not listened back to it but in my original manuscript I had the main character Miguel, stash the Blackberry memory card in the painkiller bottle, if this makes more sense.
Plus this was originally intended as a found document, but once Pseudopod accepted I envisioned it as more of a found sound file, even encouraging the editor to add sound effects as if you was listening to exactly what happened. They however discouraged me from this, saying that they'd tried this in the past much to the annoyance of fans, we did however settle on having a spanish sounding narrator, which I was more than happy with!

ElectricPaladin- not creeped out at all!
And thank you Mat Weller, personally I would love to transcribe this into a full 90 minute film script. Any ideas on who you'd like to see play who?
Cheers for listening
Nat
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: stePH on April 22, 2011, 08:19:09 PM: Quote from: natman on April 22, 2011, 06:17:37 PM
Plus this was originally intended as a found document, but once Pseudopod accepted I envisioned it as more of a found sound file, even encouraging the editor to add sound effects as if you was listening to exactly what happened. They however discouraged me from this, saying that they'd tried this in the past much to the annoyance of fans, we did however settle on having a spanish sounding narrator, which I was more than happy with!

A shame that Variant Frequencies has closed up shop; what you're talking about would have been ideally suited to their production style.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: kibitzer on April 23, 2011, 02:23:18 AM: Quote from: Unblinking on April 22, 2011, 01:32:38 PM
Quote from: Listener on April 21, 2011, 09:30:33 PM
Additionally, I've NEVER seen a painkiller bottle big enough to hold even a Blackberry Pearl. Just saying.

I found that odd too. Especially not a pill bottle that you're likely to carry round with you. Even if the pills came in a giant bottle you'd probably find a smaller container to keep them in for easy toting.

If "memory" serves it was the Blackberry's memory card that went in the bottle, not the Blackberry itself.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: yaksox on April 23, 2011, 02:04:20 PM: Wow, this was pretty grim.
Left me with a couple of questions: would I be into eating human flesh after 2 days (?) of no food? Probably not. Correct me f I'm wrong with the time gap.
Is it possible to not bleed to death if you've got a shirt as a tourniquet and you're self-amputating? I genuinely have no idea on this one. I guess it'd make a fair difference if it was above or below the knee.
Generally I was a bit unsatisfied with the ending but then, usually the ending is the hardest part to get right in a story.

Also, it was well within the protagonist's right to be stubborn, but I would've been pleading for mercy upon the first visit of the other guy, and then learning that he was asking about the woman, then be trying to strike a bargain to get a rope lowered and be pulled out of there.

Al's outro reminded me of:
(http://bordersblog.com/scifi/files/vader-choke-01.jpg)
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: stePH on April 23, 2011, 02:56:43 PM: Quote from: yaksox on April 23, 2011, 02:04:20 PM
Also, it was well within the protagonist's right to be stubborn, but I would've been pleading for mercy upon the first visit of the other guy, and then learning that he was asking about the woman, then be trying to strike a bargain to get a rope lowered and be pulled out of there.

As would I. But this guy is made of sterner stuff.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on April 23, 2011, 03:39:00 PM: YAKSOX-Miguel knows that they're is no way out of this situation, even if he managed to persuade them to pull him out of the hole these aren't the sort of guys to show mercy, death is the only thing waiting for him upto. Hope is fading, but he remains. As for eating flesh, he has nothing to eat, and he knows no food will be coming his way apart from worms and flies.
In terms of the ending, I wanted to leave it upto the reader as to whether he manages to escape and wreak revenge, or wheter he dies underground trapped by the tide of rain in some isolated flooded cavern. It depends whether your a pessimist or an optimist with this one.
As for the leg, I'm no doctor, but his leg was dead, the blood had settled and coagulated, the blood vessels clogged with jellified blood from the break. All he had to do was cut off the blood supply and take the leg.
The point of the end is, there's a chance he might get away. A slim chance, with the odds stack against him, but a chance all the same...
Thanks for Listen
BTW -Pretty Grim! Isn't this a Horror Website?!?I'll take that as compliment...
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: Unblinking on April 25, 2011, 04:17:05 PM: Quote from: natman on April 22, 2011, 06:17:37 PM
I've not listened back to it but in my original manuscript I had the main character Miguel, stash the Blackberry memory card in the painkiller bottle, if this makes more sense.

Ah, yes that does make more sense. I'd thought he'd said the phone itself.

Quote from: natman on April 23, 2011, 03:39:00 PM
BTW -Pretty Grim! Isn't this a Horror Website?!?I'll take that as compliment...

Yeah, I'd call that a compliment. My personal favorite comment that I've received on one of my stories simply said "Nicely told. Ugh." It was a story for which an "ugh" reaction was perfectly appropriate, so I added this to my "praise for the author" page on my website. :D
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: Marguerite on April 25, 2011, 07:15:34 PM: I adored this story, top to bottom. It was cruel and horrible and just the perfect type of graphic - enough to get the point across without wallowing in analogy or metaphor. The first time the protagonist mentioned the smell of his wife's perfume my stomach dropped. When he almost carelessly - and I mean without care, as opposed to clumsily or without attention - began to consume her body, it dropped again. When he finally gets a good look at her? Well I shivered, and it wasn't because I was listening during a long walk in the wind.

Plus I admit it, I'm a die-hard fan of cannibalism as a subject matter.

As for the ending being unresolved, like Sgarre1 I actually found that heartening and a great launching place for another story. I didn't feel this story needed any more said - it was about his survival. The next one can be about escape, revenge, redemption, any number of things.

One final note - I like Ben's Hispanic accent, I think it's evocative (and his pronunciation's very good) without being overpowering.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on April 28, 2011, 06:24:57 PM: Cheers MUSE! Thankyou for the kind comments. Hope you don't mind but I put them on my FB Wall to entice more listeners
Thanks for listening
Nat
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: eytanz on April 29, 2011, 09:05:52 AM: What I found truly horrific about this story was not the cannibalism, or indeed anything the narrator did after being left in the pit; not that it wasn't horrible, but I was expecting it and therefore steeled myself up to it. What was truly horrible is the blindness of the narrator towards the consequences of his own actions. First, nothing had happened to him that he hadn't done to others. And he's aware of that, on an intellectual level. But he does not gain even a iota of empathy. And this is amplified by his constant surprises at things he should have expected. He knows his boss likes to kill the families of those that offend him. And, as someone who was in a trusted position and betrayed that trust, he must have offended the boss more than just a small-time competitor. Yet, he never expects that his wife and child would be among the dead. It's clear that this is what led him to being in the pit in the first place - he knew that his boss was not someone that's safely crossed, yet he had what was obviously a prolonged affair with his mistress. His betrayal of his wife was not simply the infidelity, which he does recognize, but the way he put them at risk, which he never thought of.

This short-sightedness, this inability to recognize that his actions could have consequences on him just like everyone else's did, were the true horror - because it's that short-sightedness that lets people like his boss, and like himself, to gain ascendency.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: iamafish on April 30, 2011, 12:14:55 PM: this one really didn't do that much for me. I think i found it a little too matter-of-fact and blunt. The protagonist just sat in a hole full of bodies doing what he had to to survive because he'd cheated with his boss's wife. About half way through i got to the point where i thought 'it's horrible, i get it, this can end now'. I was hoping it would go somewhere at some point, but it didn't, really. I guess his wife and child also being in the hole might have made enough of a change up, but it was so understated that i didn't feel the true impact of the revelation.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on May 01, 2011, 05:59:35 PM: Cheers Eytanz! Always good to see a different viewpoint! I suppose that we always hope that we're going to get away with something if if deep down we know we won't. It's good that you saw the different horror I presented in this piece. To be honest, the cannibalism was an afterthought as I was writing. The true horror is mans inability to recognize ones mistakes, especially those that cost us our loved loves.

IAMAFISH- Thanks for listening anyway and sticking it out! An earlier post alluded to the fact that the story doesn't really go anywhere, as I pointed out, it's kinda the point. Trap a man in a hole with a heap of bodies and see what he does. What else can he do? He can't exactly dance with one leg. The whole point of the piece was to keep it isolated to a found document and the flood of water helped to keep it to that one and only device. I suppose I could have included a newspaper piece or an afterthought, but I feel that would have deteracted from the overall feel of it.

Appreciate your honesty either way

Nat
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on June 16, 2011, 09:19:49 PM: Cheers for all the posts and comments guys.

Top of the Heap will be appearing in The Dark Fiction Spotlight's, best of Anthology released soon!

Also if you liked this story, you might want to check out www.frightfest.com they have a free online mag, my story Eat your heart out Lorena appears on page 76. Fright fest is the uk's biggest horror industry convention run by folks from the horror film industry, so I'm starting to get fans in high places!
Cheers again
N
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on July 31, 2011, 02:37:48 PM: http://darkmarkets.com/2011/07/author-spotlight-nathan-robinson/

A nice little interview I did the other day, my first regarding my flourishing writing career! I give the pod a mention. As if it needs it!
Nat
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: justenjoying on January 08, 2012, 05:09:32 AM: I want to hate this story, but can't even begin to. It would be easyer to hate the carachters if I hated the story too. But while the mob boss is truly despicable he is a major part of why this story is so good. It is so realistic in every turn we can imagine this happening just over the hill or in the bad part of town. Maybe if we had stuck with that bad crew from highschool we would have ended up the same place. It is so fucking close to home and so fucking human that is what makes this story so scary. It is no longer fear of the unknown, but fear of the realatability. It still makes me shiver.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on January 28, 2012, 02:18:13 PM: Cheers Justen!
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on February 01, 2012, 07:52:32 PM: Got a brand new Valentines themed story up on Spintinglers you can read for free. Comments welcome!
Check it out. Just don't read it alone . . .

http://spinetinglers.co.uk/ReadStory2785.aspx
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: matweller on June 04, 2012, 03:00:36 PM: This story was the first thing I thought about when I heard this week's This American Life...
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/465/what-happened-at-dos-erres (http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/465/what-happened-at-dos-erres)
Life imitates art. Horribly.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on September 16, 2012, 11:08:58 AM: Say if anybody enjoyed "Top of the Heap" (episode 225) and wants to make an author smile, maybe you could nominate the anthology it appears in for an This is Horror award
It appears in Thadd Presley Presents: Murder, available now from amazon, where I appear along side some other great writers.

http://www.thisishorror.co.uk/awards/

Be much appreciated

Cheers
Nat

www.facebook.com/NathanRobinsonWrites
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on October 07, 2012, 01:08:29 PM: If you enjoyed Top of the Heap check out the Starers, my debut novel from Severed Press now on amazon kindle (paperback soon)
Thanks to everyone who bought a copy of Starers so far, it's jumped up the rankings from about 5,000000 to 41,000 in barely a week which is bloomin marvelous!!!
If you like zombie tales with a difference check it out. Only £2.54, less than a decent cuppa coffee and it'll keep you warmer as winter draws near.
If you haven't got a copy I won't stop you. . .

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Starers-ebook/dp/B009KC27CS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1349600035&sr=8-1
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on October 23, 2012, 05:13:35 PM: Treat yourself this Halloween with a free download from Amazon. Checkout my debut novel Starers published by Severed Press, free for the next 2 days! If you like it, consider leaving a review. Cheers!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B009KC27CS
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: matweller on November 08, 2012, 10:04:52 PM: Got it, read it, enjoyed it very much. Mind you, I'm not the toughest critic on here by far, but it held me throughout.
Title: Re: Pseudopod 225: Top Of The Heap
Post by: natman on December 01, 2012, 11:39:56 PM: Cheers Matt Weller.
I'd be a very happy man if you'd be kind enough to leave a review. I am a starving artist after all . . . and word of mouth is the best advertising.
Thanks for reading. The fact I know somebody enjoyed my mad scribblings makes it all worth while.
Nat