Escape Artists
The Lounge at the End of the Universe => Gallimaufry => Topic started by: BrandtPileggi on August 04, 2007, 04:55:48 PM
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I'M GONNA BE A FATHER!
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Congrats!
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Enjoy being able to go out while it lasts. In 7 months that is a thing of the past. Just getting to go to the movies becomes a massive undertaking.
Now go out and buy her some chocolate.
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!!! congrats!
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congrats man
prepare for an adventure the like of which you could never of imagined
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Congrats, man. Being a dad is easily the best thing in the world that's ever happened to me.
And what Nash said :)
Enjoy being able to go out while it lasts. In 7 months that is a thing of the past. Just getting to go to the movies becomes a massive undertaking.
Now go out and buy her some chocolate.
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Congratulations!
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Congratulations
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Enjoy being able to go out while it lasts. In 7 months that is a thing of the past. Just getting to go to the movies becomes a massive undertaking.
Now go out and buy her some chocolate.
What are these move-ees of which you speak? Do I attach them to the stroller or put them in the diaper bag?
Congrats, Brandt. Enjoy your freedom and time alone with your wife for as long as you can.
One of the books I read said that husband and wife should discuss all baby-related decisions, but the wife gets 51% of the vote.
You are in for a lot of late nights and early mornings, but nothing in your life will be as precious as your child.
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Damnit! What was I thinking!?
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I've also heard that your Tech Toy budget gets shot out of the water as well.
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Damnit! What was I thinking!?
you'll be glad ya did it im sure!
and for great, easy advice, listen to Steve's baby intros!
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Damnit! What was I thinking!?
Mine are 4 and 2, and I still don't have an answer to that. I can tell you that my laptop is six years old and I haven't bought a DVD at the original price in almost 5 years. I have to wait for the price to fall.
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stop scaring the guy!
he wont nead new movis coz he will be to buisy siting down whith the fresh new mind he has created and showing him/hear all the cool stuf he already has.
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Damnit! What was I thinking!?
Mine are 4 and 2, and I still don't have an answer to that. I can tell you that my laptop is six years old and I haven't bought a DVD at the original price in almost 5 years. I have to wait for the price to fall.
Hard cover books? No way, doesn't happen.
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So what you're telling me is that I'll have no choice but to torrent everything I need now? Drat! Keep the info coming guys. This advice combined w/ Steve's baby intro's are better than any rediculous doctor book. I'm thinking tech-toy budget -> robo-baby budget. Nearly as awesome I reckon. It'll make his first day at school pretty fun to watch at least.
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Congratulations! Now science fiction becomes fact.
Time dilation: some nights will now last 16 hours.
Time compression: my daughter is now three, and we just brought her home from the hospital last month.
Time stasis: those incredible moments that last forever in just a few seconds.
Alien mind control: my daughter must have became possessed by an alien intelligence somewhere around her second birthday.
Devolution: this new alien mind can cause me to revert to some Neanderthal idiot!
Welcome to the brave, new world. Welcome to the singularity. (Don't worry, it's not dystopia)
(Moms and dads, any other real life science fiction? or horror?)
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Congrats.
Watch for amusing, anecdote-worthy weird behavior.
To wit:
1. My daughter is possessed by Satan. Sometimes, for no reason, she'll start talking like Linda Blair in "Repossessed" when Satan was speaking through her.
2. My daughter is a Parselmouth. Sometimes, again for no reason, she'll make whispery/hissy noises. I'm tempted to buy a pet snake just to see what happens, but my cats would kill it.
3. My daughter thinks everything is a telephone, and holds it up to her ear and says "hm. Hm. Hm." I think she's copying her grandmother, with whom she spends a few days a week while the wife and I are at work.
4. My daughter hugs the cat. I don't know why. I guess because she's soft. (The cat.)
Stuff like that.
If you don't have a videocamera, you might want to invest. And check the flash speed of your still camera -- my digital camera has a double-flash (like most do) except there's too much of a delay between the first and second flashes so her eyes are always closed. Spend a few extra bucks if you don't have one that flashes fast enough. Ask other parents if you're not sure.
If you have the financial resources, or someone willing to gift one to you, retain a doula (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Doula). We did -- my grandparents helped; her fee was $550 -- and it was totally worth it. You get someone who is your personal advocate through the entire labor process. She (it's usually a woman, but conceivably a man could do it too) helps you decide when to go to the hospital, answers quick questions that usually take a doctor half a day to return your call on, helps you make decisions that doctors, nurses, and others at the hospital try to hurry you through, knows a metric buttload about ways to make labor easier, will often take pictures if you would like (so you don't have to), and keeps a file on everything dad and mom want, need, would like, would not like, and is against the religion of. (IE: even though we knew we were having a girl, because we're Jewish we made sure the doula knew to ensure there would be no circumcision done in the hospital, just in case it turned out to be a boy somehow.) Having the doula with us made the whole procedure so much less stressful, especially since we didn't have to go run and find a nurse for everything, and -- even better -- when it got to be time to push, she tactfully ushered my in-laws out of there because my wife and I were busy.
*takes breath*
Okay, enough dad talk.
Congrats again.
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Congrats!
Now you need to listen to:
Nuketown Radioactive
Lessons from a Geekfu Master
and
All other geek parent podcasts.
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I listen to I Should be Writing with Mur. I really should go over old Geek fu's. She does have a lot of info about writing and raising her daughter. I'm trying to do the same thing but with a 40hr job on top. I guess she does too now. I took my story and edited at the park for lunch. I lose my walks but meh. good trade.
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Maybe I should start doing that. Though then I probably would never hear any podcasts.
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So many of the books, especially the ones for dads, spend a lot of space with encouragement. As if the baby won't be born unless I am sufficiently confident. The baby comes when the baby comes, and within a week you will be flipping diapers, giving baths, and washing bottles like a pro. I actually thought that this (http://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Advice-Dads-Be/dp/0789205386?ie=UTF8&tag=escapepod-20)book was pretty good for dads. And this (http://www.amazon.com/Baby-411-2nd-Answers-Advice/dp/1889392200/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-1927569-5344836?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1186448560&sr=1-1?ie=UTF8&tag=escapepod-20)one is packed full of specific information on development, food, bathing, etc. The chapter on problems and disease is terrifying, but it's better to be informed than not, and keep in mind that problems and disease are very rare.
An online account at Consumer Reports (if you are an American) is not expensive, and worth it when you are shopping for car seats and video cameras. They have a whole section for baby-related products.
Don't spend a lot of money on expensive baby toys. People will give them to you, and your baby won't give a crap. My girl is 1 and a half, and she likes her toys well enough, but she also likes rocks and paper bags.
My wife and I enjoyed staying in all Sunday watching DVDs during the pre-birth months.
For the love of all things holy do not tell your wife that she is getting bigger. Make sure that she absolutely clear that you think she is still a hottie despite the changes that her body is going through. Breast milk is 25% body fat. A year after giving birth my wife was too small for her pre-pregnancy jeans. Keep that little fact in your back pocket until you need it.
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Awesome. And no I'm not reallly looking into getting my baby high tech toys. I'm looking to make my baby INTO a high tech toy. Pffft. The baby/kid gets the same awesome toys I did, lots of paper and empty boxes. Damn I miss those.
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BEWARE of people without kids. They give the most obnoxious presents. It's always stuff with lots of lights (not too bad) and lots of sounds. The sounds are funny the first few times; are tolerable the next 15 minutes; will drive you up the wall, across the ceiling, and diving out the f*****g window after half an hour. They are the devil's work. At my kids' b-day parties everyone looks at the person who gave the loud toy to see how long it takes them to realize, they better run for their life.
With many of the sound effect toys you can just open them up and clip the wire leading to the speaker.
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I've been busting your hump for three days now, so now I'll give you what I thought was one of the most important things we did. We prepared the dog. The dog gets the shock of it's life when a baby shows up and jealousy is normal. The older and more dominant the dog the harder it is.
I don't know how rotts do when a kid comes home. If I were you , I'd call a couple dog schools right away and find out what kind of prepsrations your dogs might need. Maybe it's not a problem with this breed.
Our Eurasian only needed a little handling, but she was only one year-old and incredibly submissive. My sister-in-law's sister had an 8 year-old Doberman. They were very careful with them. The kid was never near the dog and they were never alone in the same room together. When the dog got his chance, he took a bite out of the kids head. He wasn't trying to kill the kid, because then the kid would have been dead. He did, however, put a three inch gash in his head and took of a part of his ear. It was too old, too aggresive, and the wrong breed to have around when a new kid came home.
Enough horror stories. The kid is fine now. You can hardly make out the wound anymore and his ear isn't too bad. Call the schools and put your mind at ease.
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BEWARE of people without kids. They give the most obnoxious presents. It's always stuff with lots of lights (not too bad) and lots of sounds. The sounds are funny the first few times; are tolerable the next 15 minutes; will drive you up the wall, across the ceiling, and diving out the f*****g window after half an hour. They are the devil's work.
I use those as "Revenge Presents" :D
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Yeah man. We agreed the dog has to go if it's not imminently obvious that he's gonna cooperate. My girlfriend's been worked with dogs for about 14 years and knows them inside-out. She'll make the call. At this point he's about 2 years old and neutral-to-dominant, so he better get his ass in shape quick. If not, we won't have a poblem finding a home for him. He's a great dog so far. And everyone loves Rotti's here. They're damn near impossible to find in shelters, and when they do show up, they only last that 7 day quarentine period before someone snatches them up.
Okay. No super crazy sound things. gotchya. Kill anyone that gives us one. Consider it done.
btw, does anyone know where I can get cool infant clothes. I refuse to get cute shit. I'm looking for pirate/ninja/chuck norris clothes. Or anything else that'll make people laugh. That is, afterall, why I'm having the kid.
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I've been busting your hump for three days now, so now I'll give you what I thought was one of the most important things we did. We prepared the dog. The dog gets the shock of it's life when a baby shows up and jealousy is normal. The older and more dominant the dog the harder it is.
My cats have become more clingy. One of them -- the one I consider MY cat -- was actually more pissed BEFORE the baby was born. But when my wife and I got home from the hospital and it turned out the thing in there wasn't another cat, she was even more loving-snuggling than before.
Another one of my cats loves to play with the baby.
My parents have three dogs at their house. The lab and the mutt (half pitbull half misc terrier, possibly jack russell) like the baby. The mutt LOVES her. The third dog, which is a border collie mix, doesn't care for her that much, but he's never bitten her.
I don't know how rotts do when a kid comes home. If I were you , I'd call a couple dog schools right away and find out what kind of prepsrations your dogs might need. Maybe it's not a problem with this breed.
A rottweiler who I'd only known as the dog of my parents' friends tried to save my life once while I was treading water in the pool. I guess it depends upon the dog.
So many of the books, especially the ones for dads, spend a lot of space with encouragement. As if the baby won't be born unless I am sufficiently confident. The baby comes when the baby comes, and within a week you will be flipping diapers, giving baths, and washing bottles like a pro. I actually thought that this (http://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Advice-Dads-Be/dp/0789205386?ie=UTF8&tag=escapepod-20)book was pretty good for dads. And this (http://www.amazon.com/Baby-411-2nd-Answers-Advice/dp/1889392200/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/002-1927569-5344836?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1186448560&sr=1-1?ie=UTF8&tag=escapepod-20)one is packed full of specific information on development, food, bathing, etc. The chapter on problems and disease is terrifying, but it's better to be informed than not, and keep in mind that problems and disease are very rare.
I never read any of the books. And before Alyssa was born, I'd never changed a diaper. But I think it's ingrained into our collective unconscious; I did just fine the first time, and every time thereafter, without ever being shown how to do it.
As for diseases and problems, just remember that when they say the kid is a little jaundiced, don't panic. I think every kid is born that way.
Oh... if the hospital offers you to put the baby in the nursery for a while so you and your lady can sleep... ACCEPT THE OFFER!
Don't fear the formula. Breast milk is great, but some moms don't produce enough to keep the kid happy. My mom didn't. I didn't sleep through the night until my parents supplemented the breast milk with some formula.
Use the lactation consultant at the hospital. Sometimes breast-feeding isn't as easy as it looks on TV. If a breast pump is required, go with one of the mechanical ones; we have the hand-pump and it was a BITCH to do that for 15 minutes per breast several times a day. At least with the mechanical ones you can do other stuff like read.
For the love of all things holy do not tell your wife that she is getting bigger. Make sure that she absolutely clear that you think she is still a hottie despite the changes that her body is going through. Breast milk is 25% body fat. A year after giving birth my wife was too small for her pre-pregnancy jeans. Keep that little fact in your back pocket until you need it.
My wife gained ten pounds in the first eight months, then another 20-ish in the last six weeks. She was more concerned that she wasn't showing than that she was.
Oh, and BTW... your lady may want sex while she is pregnant. If she does, I recommend obliging. The endorphins will relax both of you.
btw, does anyone know where I can get cool infant clothes. I refuse to get cute shit. I'm looking for pirate/ninja/chuck norris clothes. Or anything else that'll make people laugh. That is, afterall, why I'm having the kid.
Good luck with that. I've been going crazy trying to find a black onesie.
Target has a few amusing onesies like "Party in my crib at 2am" and "does this diaper make my butt look big" but for the most part, there aren't any cool infant clothes. Hot Topic may have a few choices, but not that many.
HOWEVER... you can always build one of these (http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/2007/06/atatstroller.html).
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Congratulations!!
;D
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Okay. No super crazy sound things. gotchya. Kill anyone that gives us one. Consider it done.
If it's a bob the builder doll, you must kill them with extreme prejudice in the most painful dragged out manner possible.
btw, does anyone know where I can get cool infant clothes. I refuse to get cute shit. I'm looking for pirate/ninja/chuck norris clothes. Or anything else that'll make people laugh. That is, afterall, why I'm having the kid.
http://www.tshirthell.com/babyhell.shtml my current fave (http://www.tshirthell.com/store/product_stock.php?fdo=&productid=604&style=i&color=39&size=3T&stype=lime&is_fivestar=)
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Forget Bob the Builder. My daughter's babysitter/daycare lady gave her a Barney video from her own collection. I thought I was going to shoot myself. Barney is a scary thing indeed. There should be horror stories about what Barny inflicts on you -- such deep psychological terrors. Luckily, after only watching it once or twice, we managed to hide it.
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I've been busting your hump for three days now, so now I'll give you what I thought was one of the most important things we did. We prepared the dog. The dog gets the shock of it's life when a baby shows up and jealousy is normal. The older and more dominant the dog the harder it is.
My parents have three dogs at their house. The lab and the mutt (half pitbull half misc terrier, possibly jack russell) like the baby. The mutt LOVES her. The third dog, which is a border collie mix, doesn't care for her that much, but he's never bitten her.
The thing with the dogs is because of jealousy. It's when the kid comes into their house and takes over. Grandparents' dogs are normally not a problem. You can spot whether they'll be a problem very easily.
When the baby takes over even the best dog can feel left out and they can act very out of the ordinary. When my parents had their first kid, their collie, normally the best breed for kids, ended up paralyzed. My mother schlepped the dog to the vet and he said the dog was perfectly healthy. Then he asked if there were any changes at home. When my mother mentioned the baby, he started laughing. My parents made a point of including the dog more and she was fine again.
Jealousy is an ugly thing in people and it can be scary in dogs.
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There should be horror stories about what Barny inflicts on you -- such deep psychological terrors.
Let me bet the first to say "Superdee Duperdee!"
I was at a Con in Chicago about 10 years ago. There were several pieces of "Anti-Barney" fan art for sale at the auction - Barney and Godzilla gleefully stomping on buildings, Barney in a German SS uniform, Barney hanging from a tree "dead deer" style, you get the idea.
I was lucky that my daughter never got the Barney thing. Her favorite show was "Blues Clues."
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Yes, but that can be dangerous as well. Ever heard the one Lessons of a Geekfu Master about that? Scary.
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There should be horror stories about what Barny inflicts on you -- such deep psychological terrors.
Let me bet the first to say "Superdee Duperdee!"
I was at a Con in Chicago about 10 years ago. There were several pieces of "Anti-Barney" fan art for sale at the auction - Barney and Godzilla gleefully stomping on buildings, Barney in a German SS uniform, Barney hanging from a tree "dead deer" style, you get the idea.
I was lucky that my daughter never got the Barney thing. Her favorite show was "Blues Clues."
floating around somewhere in my collection of now useless to me floppies (no floppy on current 'puter) is an image titled purple road kill that is a Barney Stuffed Animal with Tire Marks. Barney might actually be the antichrist. My real problem with Barney is he paints an unrealistic view of the world. At least Sesame Street dealt with conflict and differences, and how to resolve those issues.
Not to mention, my personal view of Children is they are little people. Noone ever gives them credit for how smart they really are. Barney and with the introduction of Elmo, Sesame Street treat kids like they are simpletons.
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I remember reading a couple of years ago that Sesame Street changed it's show because it's original target audience (kids 3-5) was disappearing. The demographic that used to watch the show was now in preschool/daycare where they were kept away from TV's. They changed the show to be for 1-2 year olds (hence Elmo) who were much more likely to be watching it.
Barney is annoying, but the Teletubbies were creepy.
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When my parents had their first kid, their collie, normally the best breed for kids, ended up paralyzed.
That'll be good to know when my wife and I finally decide to have kids. We've got a collie mix (lord knows with what) that is great around our friend's kids. I swear she thinks she's Lassie. One time a friend's kid was crawling up the stairs and my dog just stood behind him to keep him from falling. I'm hoping she'll be the same way with our kids. Any books on how to prepare them for the arrival?
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If my dog does anything but shit gold after my baby's born I'm going to karate chop him in the throat. Expectiations are indeed high.
Thanks again to everyone for the congrats!!! I got to laugh at my GF this morning because she's starting morning sickness. Yay testicles!!! Don't worry, she laughed too.
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Glad to hear your g/f still has a sense of humor during the pregnancy. The best suggestion I can give is DON'T do the following:
I went to see my step-sister when she was in the hospital in labor, just to say hi. Try to keep her spirits up and such. It had been a couple of hours since she started real labor. Trying to cheer her up and make a joke I made the comment, "you call this labor? you're laying down! I've never heard of someone doing anything laborious just laying there!" Bad idea. Something about women in labor makes them not want to laugh at anything. Must be hormones. Or pain.
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I've never heard of someone doing anything laborious just laying there!" Bad idea. Something about women in labor makes them not want to laugh at anything. Must be hormones. Or pain.
Yeah. I've heard trying to squeeze a wet St. Bernard our the cat door will do that to a woman.
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I've never heard of someone doing anything laborious just laying there!" Bad idea. Something about women in labor makes them not want to laugh at anything. Must be hormones. Or pain.
Yeah. I've heard trying to squeeze a wet St. Bernard our the cat door will do that to a woman.
Okay, I wrote that down. Anyone else have any increadibly insensitive/funy things I can say to her during the labor or pregnancy? Last night we were in bed facing away from each other right before we went to sleep and she kind of half whispered, timidly, "I'm scared." I knew it was my turn to say something sweet. So I waited a couple seconds to let the air of contemplation set in and replied, "What a stupid thing to say. You're scared? That's stupid. Stop feeling stupid feelings. Stupid."
I barely managed to get the last sentence out through the iminent laughter.
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When my parents had their first kid, their collie, normally the best breed for kids, ended up paralyzed.
That'll be good to know when my wife and I finally decide to have kids. We've got a collie mix (lord knows with what) that is great around our friend's kids. I swear she thinks she's Lassie. One time a friend's kid was crawling up the stairs and my dog just stood behind him to keep him from falling. I'm hoping she'll be the same way with our kids. Any books on how to prepare them for the arrival?
For a dog, that is naturally a kid dog like a collie, you need to make sure the dog knows the family ranking before the kid comes (dog at bottom). Then you just need to remember the dog was there first. The dog can't be pushed to the side. Extra love and extra attention are the keys.
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Anyone else have any incredibly insensitive/funny things I can say to her during the labor or pregnancy?
This isn't something you can say, really. More advice I heard from a guy I worked with. He said after she has the baby (I mean RIGHT after) DON'T look down there. You'll be curious to see how that thing fit out of there. Don't. He said everything is inside out and the image of that will flash into your mind ever time you see it from then on.
I've got no firsthand knowledge of this, but it's one of the first things this guy told me when he heard I was getting married. Must be important. I've got more stuff that I can't remember right now. People always give me unsolicited advice for some reason. Maybe I look like I need it or something. I'll let you know when I remember something else.
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Anyone else have any incredibly insensitive/funny things I can say to her during the labor or pregnancy?
This isn't something you can say, really. More advice I heard from a guy I worked with. He said after she has the baby (I mean RIGHT after) DON'T look down there. You'll be curious to see how that thing fit out of there. Don't. He said everything is inside out and the image of that will flash into your mind ever time you see it from then on.
I've got no firsthand knowledge of this, but it's one of the first things this guy told me when he heard I was getting married. Must be important. I've got more stuff that I can't remember right now. People always give me unsolicited advice for some reason. Maybe I look like I need it or something. I'll let you know when I remember something else.
Dude, your buddy is a wuss. I was there helping out for every second of my daughter's birth and, to be frank and honest, I thought it was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. This is where people come from. It's beautiful, and, to me, seeing firsthand what sex leads to make sex even cooler, gives it a pleasant sentimental aspect that it didn't have before.
This is how life happens, people. Embrace it. Birth is cool.
Number two on the way in December. Looking forward. 8)
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Anyone else have any incredibly insensitive/funny things I can say to her during the labor or pregnancy?
This isn't something you can say, really. More advice I heard from a guy I worked with. He said after she has the baby (I mean RIGHT after) DON'T look down there. You'll be curious to see how that thing fit out of there. Don't. He said everything is inside out and the image of that will flash into your mind ever time you see it from then on.
I've got no firsthand knowledge of this, but it's one of the first things this guy told me when he heard I was getting married. Must be important. I've got more stuff that I can't remember right now. People always give me unsolicited advice for some reason. Maybe I look like I need it or something. I'll let you know when I remember something else.
Dude, your buddy is a wuss. I was there helping out for every second of my daughter's birth and, to be frank and honest, I thought it was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. This is where people come from. It's beautiful, and, to me, seeing firsthand what sex leads to make sex even cooler, gives it a pleasant sentimental aspect that it didn't have before.
This is how life happens, people. Embrace it. Birth is cool.
Number two on the way in December. Looking forward. 8)
I didn't really want to see my daughter come out, but it ended up happening that way -- the doula got me to help with something, and I ended up in that vicinity. It wasn't bad... just odd... It is kind of amazing how big they actually are, even the small ones; Alyssa was only 18" or so and less than 6#.
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Anyone else have any incredibly insensitive/funny things I can say to her during the labor or pregnancy?
This isn't something you can say, really. More advice I heard from a guy I worked with. He said after she has the baby (I mean RIGHT after) DON'T look down there. You'll be curious to see how that thing fit out of there. Don't. He said everything is inside out and the image of that will flash into your mind ever time you see it from then on.
I've got no firsthand knowledge of this, but it's one of the first things this guy told me when he heard I was getting married. Must be important. I've got more stuff that I can't remember right now. People always give me unsolicited advice for some reason. Maybe I look like I need it or something. I'll let you know when I remember something else.
Dude, your buddy is a wuss. I was there helping out for every second of my daughter's birth and, to be frank and honest, I thought it was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. This is where people come from. It's beautiful, and, to me, seeing firsthand what sex leads to make sex even cooler, gives it a pleasant sentimental aspect that it didn't have before.
This is how life happens, people. Embrace it. Birth is cool.
Number two on the way in December. Looking forward. 8)
I didn't really want to see my daughter come out, but it ended up happening that way -- the doula got me to help with something, and I ended up in that vicinity. It wasn't bad... just odd... It is kind of amazing how big they actually are, even the small ones; Alyssa was only 18" or so and less than 6#.
I do plan on being there when my wife and I have kids, and I'll probably watch the whole thing. It seems like a 50/50 split between people who were glad they were there and those who wish they weren't. I don't think I would want it any other way, and I know I would regret it if I just sat in the waiting room (my wife would make sure of that). And for the record, the guy who told me that had three kids, so he did go back for more.
Congrats on number two, Mr. Tweedy!
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I totally wanted to be in the room... I just, in the beginning, didn't want to see the baby come out. But it happened, and the world didn't end. Next time I won't worry so much.
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It's not the part with the baby coming out. That's amazing. It's the everything returning to size and the imbilical cord still sticking out and then the placenta lying there. I looked and it didn't scar me, but it's not as nice as the baby part.
IMPORTANT: All babies are a bit blue when they come out. Don't be freaked.
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When Alyssa came out, she was crying right away (which was good, meant she could breathe), and she had this really cute chin-quiver... she opened her mouth and quiver quiver quiver quiver...
It stopped after a couple of weeks.
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The stuff that wierds me out about pregnancy the most is how the baby pretty much takes over the mother's body. It reminds me of the alien movies. The baby pretty much causes the mother's internal organs to completely rearrange. Not to mention they get crazy protective of their belly. A guy I know said he took his wife out to a fancy dinner when she was pregnant. The waiter came by with a crumb scraper to clean off the table. Ladies first and all he came at the wife's side of the table with the sharp, metal crumb scraper and his wife reacted by grabbing the guy's wrist...hard. She's a pretty small lady, but she bruised the guy's arm pretty bad. He said it was just a reaction from this dude coming at her stomach with a sharp metal object. She apologized and all after the fact, but to react like that is just weird.
To me pregnancy is like sci-fi in real life...
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BEWARE of people without kids. They give the most obnoxious presents. It's always stuff with lots of lights (not too bad) and lots of sounds. The sounds are funny the first few times; are tolerable the next 15 minutes; will drive you up the wall, across the ceiling, and diving out the f*****g window after half an hour. They are the devil's work. At my kids' b-day parties everyone looks at the person who gave the loud toy to see how long it takes them to realize, they better run for their life.
With many of the sound effect toys you can just open them up and clip the wire leading to the speaker.
I don't say this often but, "PREACH IT BROTHER!!!!"
Noisy toys are a scourge upon mankind and those who give them as gifts should be shunned and isolated.
Here's a tip for the new dad too, get a teeny-tiny screwdriver set so you can remove the batteries from said noisy toys before you smash said noisy toys into bits.
And, avoid all LEAP products because:
1 - The are very noisy and have no volume control
2 - their volume is set at "compete with jet engine" levels
3 - the goddamn things vocally remind the kids that they aren't playing with them two or three minutes after they stop playing with them. We had a caterpillar one with alphabet letters for legs. Two minutes after Ian would push it away and start playing with something else the thing would cry out "THANKS FOR PLAYING WITH LEAP. GOOD BYE!" And, he'd immediately start playing with it again.
That toy lives at the dump now.
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Anyone else have any incredibly insensitive/funny things I can say to her during the labor or pregnancy?
This isn't something you can say, really. More advice I heard from a guy I worked with. He said after she has the baby (I mean RIGHT after) DON'T look down there. You'll be curious to see how that thing fit out of there. Don't. He said everything is inside out and the image of that will flash into your mind ever time you see it from then on.
I've got no firsthand knowledge of this, but it's one of the first things this guy told me when he heard I was getting married. Must be important. I've got more stuff that I can't remember right now. People always give me unsolicited advice for some reason. Maybe I look like I need it or something. I'll let you know when I remember something else.
Dude, your buddy is a wuss. I was there helping out for every second of my daughter's birth and, to be frank and honest, I thought it was the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life. This is where people come from. It's beautiful, and, to me, seeing firsthand what sex leads to make sex even cooler, gives it a pleasant sentimental aspect that it didn't have before.
This is how life happens, people. Embrace it. Birth is cool.
Number two on the way in December. Looking forward. 8)
I was there helping in every way I could when we had Ian and I watched the whole shebang from crowning to the tug of war to get the placenta out with a calm cool clinical detachment that would make a robot jealous.
When we had Meg, I passed out as she exited the birth canal.
First time, "interesting and cool, never seen that before!"
Second time "Oh god the blood!!!!" THUNK.
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About pets...
What we did was bring home blankets and swadeling stuff from the hospital that had "Scent of Ian" on it for our pets (not surprisingly, the horse didn't care either way), which is what the nurses told us to do.
That worked without any real problems for us.
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i was thare for the birth of mine
it was bloody fantastic
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BEWARE of people without kids. They give the most obnoxious presents. It's always stuff with lots of lights (not too bad) and lots of sounds. The sounds are funny the first few times; are tolerable the next 15 minutes; will drive you up the wall, across the ceiling, and diving out the f*****g window after half an hour. They are the devil's work. At my kids' b-day parties everyone looks at the person who gave the loud toy to see how long it takes them to realize, they better run for their life.
With many of the sound effect toys you can just open them up and clip the wire leading to the speaker.
I don't say this often but, "PREACH IT BROTHER!!!!"
Noisy toys are a scourge upon mankind and those who give them as gifts should be shunned and isolated.
Here's a tip for the new dad too, get a teeny-tiny screwdriver set so you can remove the batteries from said noisy toys before you smash said noisy toys into bits.
I have the Leatherman Blast (http://www.amazon.com/Leatherman-830032-Multi-Tool-Leather-Sheath/dp/B0002H49BW/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6298206-6976919?ie=UTF8&s=hi&qid=1186731532&sr=8-1?ie=UTF8&tag=escapepod-20), because it comes with tiny screwdriver heads, just for this purpose. I can also get into the toy and cut the speaker wires and get out. All with one tool That is always on my hip. I don't always take out the batteries, because the lights don't bother me.
About pets...
What we did was bring home blankets and swadeling stuff from the hospital that had "Scent of Ian" on it for our pets (not surprisingly, the horse didn't care either way), which is what the nurses told us to do.
That worked without any real problems for us.
That helps a lot. The important thing to remember I guess is that the pet was there first and it's getting shoved off its pedestal. Be kind.
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I'm hearing a lot of support for speaker wire cutting here. Huh... Is there anyway to retrofit any of these toys to play Jamiroquai every time the sound is activated? OOO!! Peraps my own voice spewing out leet-speak? That would NEVER get old. Not EVER.
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I think I forgot to say, Congratulations Mr. Tweedy!! Who else is currently expecting?
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I'm hearing a lot of support for speaker wire cutting here. Huh... Is there anyway to retrofit any of these toys to play Jamiroquai every time the sound is activated? OOO!! Peraps my own voice spewing out leet-speak? That would NEVER get old. Not EVER.
I think that was me twice.
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My daughter loves her noisemaking toys, and really, we just tune it out or joke about it. It's not actually annoying. Beats the hell out of her getting mad because she's not getting any reaction when she pushes a button or something.
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Oh, congrats, Tweedy! I almost missed that.
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The thing that impressed me the most, especially for the first one, was the bonding that occurs when you first hold them.
Up to that point, you know intellectually that you going to bond with "it" somehow, but it still feels (in the back of your head) like you're just signing up for a really long-term baby-sitting job.
At that "first contact" moment though, BOOM, you suddenly know why parent birds will take on wolves and mountain lions to protect their young.
It's still a wonderful mystery, 27 years later.
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So you're not supposed to trip up the child as you run away so that the werewolves get distracted with them? I have so much to learn ???
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Texas is werewolf country? Geez, I knew you had crazy bugs down there, but...
It seems like most of the regulars here are dads posting from work. Don't know if that means anything (except that we all have jobs that absorb less than 100% of our attention), but it's interesting.
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Ha! Great observation Mr. T
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It seems like most of the regulars here are dads posting from work. Don't know if that means anything (except that we all have jobs that absorb less than 100% of our attention), but it's interesting.
Hmmm, I wonder why the "working" dads are spending so much time on the internets and the "non-working" moms aren't...
We don't mind the noisy toys. In fact Junior has a couple of song books that actually play the songs, which she really enjoys. She will press a button to make the song go, walk away and play with something else, and when the song is done (like a minute and a half later) she walks back to the book and presses another button. Some of the songs have accompanying hand gestures, and she likes to do them, too. So I think these kinds of things are healthy...I also realize that these probably weren't the toys you guys were referring to.
And I noticed something interesting about my new little 1.5-year-old. She has so many toys that do something when you push a button, that whenever she gets any new toy, the first thing she does is press all the button-like parts to make it somehow go. I know I had some push-button toys as a kid, but not nearly as many as she does, and many of her toys have chips in them. I don't really have any conclusions to draw, just that I thought it was a cool sci-fi-y thing. Also, when she gets a new stuffed animal she immediately pokes it in the eye over and over again.
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Did any of you other parents teach your kids baby sign language? We did a half-assed job with it, but we got the kid communicating with us a little. She knows the sign for "more", and a different sign for "breastfeed," and a sign for "table" which implies "get the hell off of it."
I wonder if she is getting sick of me whacking her with a pillow and then tickling her...
"more"
Guess not. [whack]
Ideally you could get your kid to tell you if it's hungry or hot or cold or has a tummy ache or is sleepy or bored instead of just screaming. And she enjoys signing the animals and things in her picture books.
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Did any of you other parents teach your kids baby sign language? We did a half-assed job with it, but we got the kid communicating with us a little. She knows the sign for "more", and a different sign for "breastfeed," and a sign for "table" which implies "get the hell off of it."
I wonder if she is getting sick of me whacking her with a pillow and then tickling her...
"more"
Guess not. [whack]
Ideally you could get your kid to tell you if it's hungry or hot or cold or has a tummy ache or is sleepy or bored instead of just screaming. And she enjoys signing the animals and things in her picture books.
We didn't really have the time for that. At age one, Alyssa now points toward the thing she wants, food-wise, and gives a humongous jerk of the head to the side when she wants to say "no, I don't want that food/drink". Otherwise we sort of just figure it out.
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We didn't really have the time for that. At age one, Alyssa now points toward the thing she wants, food-wise, and gives a humongous jerk of the head to the side when she wants to say "no, I don't want that food/drink". Otherwise we sort of just figure it out.
Just an observation/warning - I have several friends who have kids with speech issues because they continuously enabled their kid's alternative-to-speech activities. When "point and grunt" is good enough to get them what they want, they have a hard time getting beyond it. I wouldn't worry at one years old and every child is different, of course, but at some point, you have to stop and say "say 'table', 'Tay bull', 'taaayyy buulllll' "
On the other hand, when my daughter was born, we never 'baby-talked' to her (you know, goo-goo, gaa-gaa) and we expressly forbid anyone else to do it either. We spoke to her often and always in plain language. When she was a year old, we would do flash cards. She could identify and pronounce "Rhinoceros" (and I have the video to prove it :D)
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It seems like most of the regulars here are dads posting from work. Don't know if that means anything (except that we all have jobs that absorb less than 100% of our attention), but it's interesting.
Hmmm, I wonder why the "working" dads are spending so much time on the internets and the "non-working" moms aren't...
Dude, being a mom is work. Nothing pisses me off more than hearing motherhood disparaged as some kind of silly non-job for women too dumb to cut it at the office. (Not that you were saying that, but lots of people do, especially "educators.") Motherhood is hard work and very important, and, honestly, I'd say her job is both harder than mine and more significant. I cram text into little boxes. She's molding the character of a new person.
Now I've gone and depressed myself with the meaninglessness of my job...
It doesn't mean moms aren't online, just that there aren't many making posts in sci-fi related forums. My wife wouldn't spend much time here; not her game.
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We didn't really have the time for that. At age one, Alyssa now points toward the thing she wants, food-wise, and gives a humongous jerk of the head to the side when she wants to say "no, I don't want that food/drink". Otherwise we sort of just figure it out.
Just an observation/warning - I have several friends who have kids with speech issues because they continuously enabled their kid's alternative-to-speech activities. When "point and grunt" is good enough to get them what they want, they have a hard time getting beyond it. I wouldn't worry at one years old and every child is different, of course, but at some point, you have to stop and say "say 'table', 'Tay bull', 'taaayyy buulllll' "
Oh, we talk to her all the time and work on speech stuff. She does understand some of what we're saying; she just can't actually talk yet.
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It seems like most of the regulars here are dads posting from work. Don't know if that means anything (except that we all have jobs that absorb less than 100% of our attention), but it's interesting.
Hmmm, I wonder why the "working" dads are spending so much time on the internets and the "non-working" moms aren't...
Dude, being a mom is work. Nothing pisses me off more than hearing motherhood disparaged as some kind of silly non-job for women too dumb to cut it at the office. (Not that you were saying that, but lots of people do, especially "educators.") Motherhood is hard work and very important, and, honestly, I'd say her job is both harder than mine and more significant. I cram text into little boxes. She's molding the character of a new person.
Now I've gone and depressed myself with the meaninglessness of my job...
It doesn't mean moms aren't online, just that there aren't many making posts in sci-fi related forums. My wife wouldn't spend much time here; not her game.
In case anyone misread my post, I agree with Mr. Tweedy on this. I was implying that dads have time to wax philosophical about the finer points of parenting when we are not busy listening to science fiction stories, but the moms all seem to be busy with the kids.
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Just an observation/warning - I have several friends who have kids with speech issues because they continuously enabled their kid's alternative-to-speech activities. When "point and grunt" is good enough to get them what they want, they have a hard time getting beyond it. I wouldn't worry at one years old and every child is different, of course, but at some point, you have to stop and say "say 'table', 'Tay bull', 'taaayyy buulllll' "
Yeah, that's a good point, and I've heard similar anecdotal evidence. On the other hand, junior might end up being a better communicator because the language parts of the brain starts getting stimulated without having to wait for their little mouths to catch up. On the other other hand, the speech parts get stimulated later because junior can already communicate with sign language. Who knows. I haven't seen any studies on this. Ten years from now it probably won't matter too much. But for now sign language means less stress and less crying, so I like it.
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On the other hand, when my daughter was born, we never 'baby-talked' to her (you know, goo-goo, gaa-gaa) and we expressly forbid anyone else to do it either. We spoke to her often and always in plain language. When she was a year old, we would do flash cards. She could identify and pronounce "Rhinoceros" (and I have the video to prove it :D)
We didn't baby-talk to our two boys either. We used the big words, when big words expressed the right meaning. Now (25-ish years later) they are quite articulate and they never had any problem reading.
I used to read from Time magazine to them, way before they had much of a vocabulary. It wasn't with the idea that they would absorb Current Affairs by osmosis or anything, it was just to trick them into thinking that I was reading a story to them for their entertainment. Which I was, in a way. It helped to use funny voices and sound effects, even if the story was about some terrible conflict in a third-world region, and to make eye contact as you say something emphatically now and then.
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Something to look forward to.
A couple of weeks ago I got to spend the night in the hospital with my two-year-old daughter. She and her brother were riding their bikes in the park. He went racing down a hill and she went racing after him. The scream of, "slow down!" fro dad was totally ignored. She got going to fast, wobbled, and fell flat on her face. Bike helmets are a wonderful thing. No internal head injury, but she got her nose and lip scraped up and her teeth cut into her lip. Anyway lots of blood and screaming.
Fast forward. Called Grandmom to watch the boy and took her to the ER. They kept her overnight to check for an abdomen injury. We came home the next day, but she wanted me to hold her hand all night while she was hooked up to the monitor.
She's absolutely fine now. No internal injuries of any sort and her scrapes are all gone except for a little raw patch on her lip that will be gone in a week or so.
It's all part of the package of being a parent. Enjoy!
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There should be horror stories about what Barny inflicts on you -- such deep psychological terrors.
I was lucky that my daughter never got the Barney thing. Her favorite show was "Blues Clues."
My youngest lad was in to Teletubbies and got me hooked also. It's like this crazy sci-fi deal along the lines of The Time Machine. You've got these 4 innocent beings (like Eloi) living in this advanced dome containing technology they simply couldn't have created. Speakers come out of the grassy landscape and make announcements and they have this super advanced cognitive vacuum cleaner named Noo-Noo which cleans up after our four heros. Food is dispensed through a machine in this crazy dome house. You never actually see who created this technology or whose voice is coming from the speakers (Morlocks?). Anyway, the tubbies run around all day and show video clips on televisions located on their stomachs. It's the craziest damn trip.
This show was in the news a few years ago because Jerry Falwell said that the purple tubbie named Tinky-Winky was gay because he carried a purse and his symbol was a triangle.
OK....... it's just a stupid kid show. ;)
Congrats father's to be!
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Something to look forward to.
A couple of weeks ago I got to spend the night in the hospital with my two-year-old daughter. She and her brother were riding their bikes in the park. He went racing down a hill and she went racing after him. The scream of, "slow down!" fro dad was totally ignored. She got going to fast, wobbled, and fell flat on her face. Bike helmets are a wonderful thing. No internal head injury, but she got her nose and lip scraped up and her teeth cut into her lip. Anyway lots of blood and screaming.
Fast forward. Called Grandmom to watch the boy and took her to the ER. They kept her overnight to check for an abdomen injury. We came home the next day, but she wanted me to hold her hand all night while she was hooked up to the monitor.
She's absolutely fine now. No internal injuries of any sort and her scrapes are all gone except for a little raw patch on her lip that will be gone in a week or so.
It's all part of the package of being a parent. Enjoy!
Wow. I'm glad everything turned out relatively okay Russel. [mental note: encase children in bubble wrap with an oxygen tank and/or straw]
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Here's one where I'm sure we can get fifty-thousand stories. Beware of people giving advice. The ones who are quickest to give it are the ones you shouldn't listen to.
Look at other peoples' kids. When you see a kid acting the way you want your kid to act, talk directly to the primary care-giver (traditionally mom, but more and more dad or the Mexican nanny) about it.
The quickest advice will always come from the dad who has nothing to do with the kids and those will also be the kids who seem to be a totally lost cause.
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Spent 2 of the last 4 days in the ER for about a total of 20+ hours. Long story short, my GF is gonna be in bed packed with laxatives and narcotics for the next 5 months. Feels like I've just begun the journey of a thousand miles. One step after the next I reckon.