Escape Artists
Escape Pod => Episode Comments => Topic started by: eytanz on February 14, 2014, 06:37:58 PM
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EP435: Made of Cats (http://escapepod.org/2014/02/14/ep435-made-cats/)
by Judith Tarr (http://www.amazon.com/Judith-Tarr/e/B000AQ8RZE/?_encoding=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&linkCode=ur2)
read by Amanda Ching (http://amandaching.wordpress.com/)
This story was previously published in Daily Science Fiction, 2011
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Never mind the slithy toves; let me tell you about the time all the cats splooped into floons.
It all started the day the aliens landed. (Doesn’t it always?) We’d been getting the odd invasion–sometimes really odd–for about a hundred years by then. The ones that came up out of the ground and down from the sky and blasted people to powder and tried to marsiform the planet? And got the common cold and turned into slime mold and died? They were just the start.
We were pretty solid on the intergalactic maps by the time the Kovarrubians showed up. Killer microbes? Check. Nuclear option? Check. Toxic xenophobia? Triple check.
So now when the aliens came, they came in peace. For reals, dudes. Cure for cancer? Check. Super-mega-hyper-insta-teleporta-warp drive? Check. World peace? Not so much. But now when people got their hate on, mostly they got it on somebody Out There.
The day the Kovarrubians came, Emily Habibi-Rubinstein, age five and a half, was having a terrible, horrible, awful, no-good, very bad day. Which meant that as her mother, I, Shannon Habibi, age never mind, was having one, too. Between the snufflecrud that kept her home from school, the power failure that took out the television, the Internet, the house controls, and the air conditioning in one fell swoop, and the failure of the city bus to show up and get us both to the library where we could cool off and toss Emily into a big blissful pile of books, we were not a happy family.
Oh, and did I mention that the phones were down, too? So we were effectively cut off from the world?
Right.
(http://escapepod.org/wp-images/podcast-mini4.gif) Listen to this week’s Escape Pod! (http://traffic.libsyn.com/escapepod/EP435_MadeofCatsALoveStory.mp3)
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The reading was perfect.
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I apologize for the sound quality, I'll work with Amanda on that. We smoothed it out the best we could. But I agree, a better fitting narrator there could not have been.
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Great reading, cute story.
It is a nightmare of mine that the internet comes to life in some fashion. It's such a twisted version of what we really want in life - kind of like those Twilight Zone episodes where some kid gets ultimate wish fulfilling power and everyone is actually terrified. I though this story was a delightful twist on that idea - one of those cheezburger cats coming to life :shudder:
I really liked how the author summarized 100 years of alien contact :-) In the end it felt like merchants coming to a king's court.
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I guess I will be the dissenting voice here. I did not like the cuteness of the story. It seemed like it was aimed at 11 year old girls. I didn't have a problem with the reading, story just wasn't for me I guess. maybe I am just over the whole internet and cats thing. If you want a cute kid friendly story this is probably it.
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The second Internet/cats story I heard was one too many. Despite the snarky send-up of this one, yeah, still done with them. And this from a guy who subscribes to a youtube channel about two cats.
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I guess I will be the dissenting voice here. I did not like the cuteness of the story. It seemed like it was aimed at 11 year old girls. I didn't have a problem with the reading, story just wasn't for me I guess. maybe I am just over the whole internet and cats thing. If you want a cute kid friendly story this is probably it.
I agree completely with these comments. I actually may have my 9 year old girl listen to this one. Not for me, but I will let you know her thoughts.
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That was cute and fun, and I agree that the narrator was perfect for the story. However, I think if the aliens had actually learned about human desire by searching the internet, they would have given us "one weird trick to reduce belly fat" instead of floons...
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So aliens and the internet. Clearly Ms. Tarr went with the safest option of what runs the internet. God help us when the aliens reach the porn; I think you all know the internet well enough to know where this could go.
This was a rather delightful story with exquisite narration. I thought it was rather humorous that humans had entered into the galactic community with our merciless biological warfare of the common cold. Also that aliens were still interested in meddling with the planet given the threats that humans are capable of posing. "I blow my nose at you, you sons of a silly person."
Also, Norm's comments made me realize something. "Completely aloof, psycopath who has a fetish for laying all over your shit." Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock Holmes is a cat and that is why everyone, especially everyone on the internet, loves Sherlock. That is all.
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This story was delightful! Yes, it was about internet humor, but the style was so playful and enjoyable that it really worked for me. But what I really loved was the way the story elevated stay-at-home moms and dads to a position of critical importance in world news and events. It was refreshing to see a treatment of this group that wasn't stereotypical or disdainful and let them have the hilarious sci-fi adventure that they rightfully deserve.
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I guess I will be the dissenting voice here. I did not like the cuteness of the story. It seemed like it was aimed at 11 year old girls. I didn't have a problem with the reading, story just wasn't for me I guess. maybe I am just over the whole internet and cats thing. If you want a cute kid friendly story this is probably it.
I can haz cuteness?
Generally I enjoyed this story especially the dialogue. The cuteness level me left me a bit queasy as if I had eaten too much candy.
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I get that this story was comedy, and I'll admit that I'm not a huge fan of mixing comedy with my science fiction, so I already have a big chip on my shoulder going into this. But even if we took the core idea of this story seriously (i.e., aliens study human culture via the contents of a medium that people consider ubiquitous and somewhat trashy and get it wrong) I find that it is kind of boring and perhaps even wrong.
First, after studying the studying the Internet the Kovarrubians conclude that what we value highly are cats? C'mon that's just a facetious oversimplification and there is no reason to believe that an alien culture that actually studied the Internet would reach the same conclusion. Internet = cats was a big joke in 2011 perhaps. If the alien culture really studied the content of the Internet to figure out what they valued then why wouldn't they supply us with endless porn? Isn't that what many content analyses say the Internet is full of for the most part (as a matter of relative proportions)? The actual amount of porn seems to vary by reports, but often seems to be somewhere between 10% and 25% of sites in what I've read on the subject. This is followed by news, shopping, travel, and sports, all at about 4% - 6% of internet content. Cats? Hardly.
But let's assume that it is true and that cats are the most plentiful and most searched for content on the Internet. Evidence seems to suggest that it's not cute cats that we are after but:
Radioactive Cats
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8060609280/hB9CF6AFB/)
Talking Cats
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8052335360/h23B42A0A/)
Portly Cats
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8048039168/h6F65BAC4/)
Stealthy Cats
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8031670016/h95DAFB5F/)
Sad Cats
(http://1funny.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/sad-cat.jpg)
Mad Cats
(http://veterinariansportland.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/Cat-Owner-mad-cat.jpg)
So let this be a simple revision suggestion.
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I found this story hard to listen to. Actually, I had to stop about halfway through. It was just too sassy.
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This story had a couple funny moments, but overall it wasn't as funny as it seemed to think it was. And even in a funny story I still generally want something to happen.
I was interested in the beginning, and was amused with much of the conversation with the aliens that revealed the mixup--the listing of tropes was funny. But then the story kept on going, and seemed to forget the humor after that point, finishing up at an off-note wish fulfillment ending that didn't really seem to match the rest at all.
I find it completely hard to believe that an alien race that studied us by the means of the Internet would not have incorporated porn. I realize that would've been harder to write into a story while keeping it readable and clean enough to publish most places, but still it was a huge hole in the core premise. I probably would've overlooked that if it had been more consistently funny.
So the plot goes:
Cats are replaced with something weird.
It turns out aliens did it with good intentions, oops!
Aliens very nicely reverse their mistake.
Also, long life for pets, yay!
The End.
(I think it could've been nice to have some actual conflict)
The main character said repeatedly that she was distraught, but never actually sounded distraught, she just sounded annoyed that her daughter was making a fuss.
Don't get me wrong about the wish fulfillment ending--I would probably use that technology. All 3 of my dogs are under that weight. On the other hand, that would mean that more strays would probably be euthanized because anyone who is inclined to have small animals would just prolong those animals. But in any case, it wasn't a funny ending and didn't really fit with the rest of the story.
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I find it completely hard to believe that an alien race that studied us by the means of the Internet would not have incorporated porn.
Don't be too quick to assume. The story was a first-person female perspective, who's to say the Floons weren't also... functional... in a way that males would notice? The sheer quantity of male-focused pornography could have contributed to the creation of the creature in a fashion that perhaps the main character of this story simply wouldn't comment on or notice in this context.
;D
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I found this story charming, amusing, and a good length. The narration, especially when the daughter was yelling for Mr Gubbins, was perfect.
That was cute and fun, and I agree that the narrator was perfect for the story. However, I think if the aliens had actually learned about human desire by searching the internet, they would have given us "one weird trick to reduce belly fat" instead of floons...
Would've made the story much more serious, though. At least, I think so.
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I decided to take a day or two to ponder the story before posting my comments. Maybe "Floons" got my tongue? I think there is a lot of humor in cross cultural communication gone awry. In that vein, the author seems to be right on point. I took the use of cats to be a metaphor for what ever internet fad de jour might be raging. Poking fun at our guilty pleasures is another deep well from which humorists often draw.
A less obvious but nonetheless thought provoking aspect to the story was the prevalent market/consumer driven culture of the galactic visitors. I suppose I was struck with how much the aliens were just like us. So much so that the story's protagonist can actually market their wares more effectively. Alien races coming to our backwater planet to hock their wares made me wonder if we had things to offer in exchange as precious or as plentiful as those being offered. Would humans be considered the ultimate consumers or the developers of needed resources? Creation or consumption? The story seems to posit all the galactic citizenry as developmental equals. I guess I had a bit of trouble suspending disbelief on this point. Or could a cure for cancer be something akin to European traders offering "beads" for Manhattan island (yes I know it is a myth btw)? Hmmmm
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I find it completely hard to believe that an alien race that studied us by the means of the Internet would not have incorporated porn.
Don't be too quick to assume. The story was a first-person female perspective, who's to say the Floons weren't also... functional... in a way that males would notice? The sheer quantity of male-focused pornography could have contributed to the creation of the creature in a fashion that perhaps the main character of this story simply wouldn't comment on or notice in this context.
;D
Ewwwww!!! You might be right, but it doesn't seem like that's what the story intended.
A less obvious but nonetheless thought provoking aspect to the story was the prevalent market/consumer driven culture of the galactic visitors. I suppose I was struck with how much the aliens were just like us. So much so that the story's protagonist can actually market their wares more effectively. Alien races coming to our backwater planet to hock their wares made me wonder if we had things to offer in exchange as precious or as plentiful as those being offered. Would humans be considered the ultimate consumers or the developers of needed resources? Creation or consumption? The story seems to posit all the galactic citizenry as developmental equals. I guess I had a bit of trouble suspending disbelief on this point. Or could a cure for cancer be something akin to European traders offering "beads" for Manhattan island (yes I know it is a myth btw)? Hmmmm
I admit I had the same wonder. Not as much at the time of the story, because it seems that earth has for some reason been a popular trading spot--maybe it's at a convenient place to a galactic crossroads or something. So now Earth has enough tech from alien cultures, that they're a convenient source for that other tech. Instead of going to a hundred planets and trading for their tech individually, go to earth and get it all in one spot. So in the present I think it makes enough sense, but I didn't get what earth had to offer the first few alien civs that showed up.
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For those that thought a study of the internet would have resulted in something other than cats, ok , I suppose, but you are likely giving the Aliens too much credit.
Marketing often doesn't bother with exhaustive, comprehensive research - more of a thrown spaghetti on a wall tactic. Besides which, the aliens didn't even bother to ask - they just morphed all the cats. Clearly they didn't research how people would react to that - New Coke will be embraced by all!!
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For those that thought a study of the internet would have resulted in something other than cats, ok , I suppose, but you are likely giving the Aliens too much credit.
Marketing often doesn't bother with exhaustive, comprehensive research - more of a thrown spaghetti on a wall tactic. Besides which, the aliens didn't even bother to ask - they just morphed all the cats. Clearly they didn't research how people would react to that - New Coke will be embraced by all!!
Yeah, my thoughts exactly. These aliens obviously aren't the brightest supernovae in the galaxy, and they don't seem to be approaching the question of what would make humans happy in a particularly scientific way to begin with. Given that, imagining myself in these aliens' shoes, I have taken the liberties of conducting a grand experiment by opening Google and searching "things humans like". This (http://www.buzzfeed.com/dray/30-things-people-love-4666) was the first hit.
Now the #1 thing on the list of stuff humans like is "Agriculture".
(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/7/12/20/enhanced-buzz-24847-1373674870-13.jpg)
Hmm. That's going to be a bit difficult to deliver on, although I haven't checked the produce aisle recently to see if there are considerably more elderly women staring at the cucumbers than there used to be. But if we scroll down to #2, what do we find?
Floons!
(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/7/12/18/enhanced-buzz-31773-1373667684-41.jpg)
Just average these cute baby animals together, add funky colors, and you're done. Instant human happiness!
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Clearly they didn't research how people would react to that - New Coke will be embraced by all!!
(http://i.imgur.com/Wa7GTPB.png)
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Very impressive!
Nice detail with the company name: FloonCo.
What font did you use? Is there a Coca-Cola font?
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I used Loki Cola for the FloonCo and can't remember what I used for the Cats part, was going through my serif fonts until I found something close. :)
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I was thinking photoshop at first, but with the lighting, I'm thinking maybe 3D software.
What app did you use?
PS I use Blender alot.
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I found this story enjoyable to listen to, but lacking in actual "story."
I was amused by Emily, and I enjoyed the background world-building with the mom boards being all-powerful and the implications that humanity didn't have any more needs due to previous alien interventions. I also enjoyed the octopus aliens being actually alien in appearance and perception.
However, I would have liked something in the way of actual conflict. Aliens appear. Cats change into floons. Person explains people want cats to be cats. Aliens change cats back and, as a bonus make them live 70 years - and eliminate the need to have them surgically spayed and neutered. There wasn't even an arugment about whether floon or cats were better -- everyone gets what they want and we all live happily ever after.
For voice and humor, I give it a thumbs up. As a story though, it was unfortunately kind of weak.
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I was thinking photoshop at first, but with the lighting, I'm thinking maybe 3D software.
What app did you use?
PS I use Blender alot.
Nothing that fancy, just photo editing an actual New Coke can, but thanks!
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...as a bonus make them live 70 years...
I kinda forgot about that. It makes me wonder how many people would want their pets to live that long. Not that I'm necessarily against it, but take the case of parrots. People have to make arrangements for them when the die since they live so long.
I'm pro-pet (we have 3 cats, a dog, a guinea pig and a fish), but the idea of taking on a pet for pretty much my entire life is intimidating.
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Any story that mentions Hello Kitty cant be all than bad. I am a big fan of the cute one and have more Sanrio / Hello Kitty stuff a guys should not allow (but who say I can,t) to have.
The weakness in the story and rending for me is the aliens came across very unbelievable immature and childish.
On another side of the story is the aliens, in the study of the internet, could have thought Humanity needs...... more porn (The song The internet is for Porn is going though my mind)
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Internet = cats was a big joke in 2011 perhaps.
Well, you can feel proud in that you've hit the nail on the head. This story landed in my inbox (from Daily Science Fiction) on June 10, 2011! ;D
I enjoyed this story as a fun romp, and agree that you can probably feel free to insert the current fad into the place of cats. I mean, how horrible would it be if the aliens gave us real life angry birds! Light-hearted, and FUN! :)
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Internet = cats was a big joke in 2011 perhaps.
Well, you can feel proud in that you've hit the nail on the head. This story landed in my inbox (from Daily Science Fiction) on June 10, 2011! ;D
I enjoyed this story as a fun romp, and agree that you can probably feel free to insert the current fad into the place of cats. I mean, how horrible would it be if the aliens gave us real life angry birds! Light-hearted, and FUN! :)
More like real-life Flappy Birds. Or Doges.
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I liked this one... It made me smile.
Yes it is not deep, nor exceptionally surprising. But it has some very sweet moments, great characters and good worldbuilding. I also like the attitude of the heroin / humans (I guess) towards aliens. It's all a bit like 'ok - here we go again'.
A good alternative to all those blood sucking, brain eating aliens we encounter so often...
Also: absolutely perfectly read. Love the narrator.
Best popcorn entertainment in a while :)
And yes, it is a bit like those cat pixx people are posting: very cute, makes u smile, but can be annoying if not consumed in moderation ;)
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I know many of you wish to analyze the story, opine as to whether or not it was believable (this is science fiction; must it always be believable?), and pick apart the likelihood of the aliens choosing cats vs. porn (again, this is sci-fi....). But I loved it because it was silly, funny, WONDERFULLY narrated (perfect choice!) and succinct enough to not be boring in the least. I really enjoy fluffy, silly pieces like this, no matter how improbable. I look to these stories for entertainment, not to pick them apart (though, if that's your thing, don't mind me). This one definitely entertained me.
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I know many of you wish to analyze the story, opine as to whether or not it was believable (this is science fiction; must it always be believable?), and pick apart the likelihood of the aliens choosing cats vs. porn (again, this is sci-fi....). But I loved it because it was silly, funny, WONDERFULLY narrated (perfect choice!) and succinct enough to not be boring in the least. I really enjoy fluffy, silly pieces like this, no matter how improbable. I look to these stories for entertainment, not to pick them apart (though, if that's your thing, don't mind me). This one definitely entertained me.
I hear ya. If I'd thought it was funnier, I'd be right there with you. :)
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This story was a joy for me. To the extent it lacks things the rules say a story needs to have, that is an indictment of the rules rather than the story.
For those mentioning pornography, the story addressed the issue, albeit obliquely:
“You studied the Internet. To find out what humans want.”
“Yes!” the negotiator said. It was a wonderfully happy shade of purple, bobbing in its bubble, trilling like the blasted thing in the carrier. “What they want is each other, too. But humans do that so well themselves. The other thing, we could give. We could make even better.”
Also, "what [humans] want is each other" is about the most affirming way of referring to internet pornography I've ever heard.
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This story was a joy for me. To the extent it lacks things the rules say a story needs to have, that is an indictment of the rules rather than the story.
For those mentioning pornography, the story addressed the issue, albeit obliquely:
“You studied the Internet. To find out what humans want.”
“Yes!” the negotiator said. It was a wonderfully happy shade of purple, bobbing in its bubble, trilling like the blasted thing in the carrier. “What they want is each other, too. But humans do that so well themselves. The other thing, we could give. We could make even better.”
Also, "what [humans] want is each other" is about the most affirming way of referring to internet pornography I've ever heard.
Ah! I had not picked up that reference. It even makes a sort of sense--"what humans want is sex with humans, but humans have humans for that. Instead, we give you supercats!" Although, it seems that the aliens dismissed very easily something that could've been more widely well-received--sex sells, after all, for a reason, and ties into lower and more-inherent parts of our brain than cat-love.
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Listened to this last night while doing the ironing. Giggled my arse off. Generally splendid.
Yes it was silly - but sometimes a dose of silly is just what I need ;-)
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I did like this story for it's light-hearted tone. It is a nice balance to some the more serious intellectual stuff that Escape Pod runs. Even better, it really was not a kiddy story like Squonk the Dragon. The lack of real conflict was the only real downer for me.
The part that really intrigued me was how much first contact with an alien race felt like a PTA meeting.
BTW - The logos for both Coke and Ford use the same style of writing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spencerian_script
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This story was a joy for me. To the extent it lacks things the rules say a story needs to have, that is an indictment of the rules rather than the story.
For those mentioning pornography, the story addressed the issue, albeit obliquely:
“You studied the Internet. To find out what humans want.”
“Yes!” the negotiator said. It was a wonderfully happy shade of purple, bobbing in its bubble, trilling like the blasted thing in the carrier. “What they want is each other, too. But humans do that so well themselves. The other thing, we could give. We could make even better.”
Also, "what [humans] want is each other" is about the most affirming way of referring to internet pornography I've ever heard.
It also nicely covers social media in all its flavors.
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I enjoyed this quite a bit, and probably because I didn't really care too much about the internet stuff or even what I could call the "main plot," but loved the super casual references to a completely alternate, and very interesting future. It's the little things: for instance - what the heck was up with the relationship dynamics in this future? Perhaps it's an implied side effect of "world peace"ishness, but did I hear some polygamous, or at least polyamorous overtones? And I'm always a fan of casual bisexuality in futuristic stories as well. Maybe omnisexuality would be more applicable here. Because the aliens are right, what humans want is each other. So well done. A light hearted story that didn't offend me by being boring or poorly read (well done there too, by the way), and had enough subtle sociological "NEAT!" that I had to smile.
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This story was a floon. Short and cute and amusing and wonderful if you like floons.
Some people like their stories to be cats: funny and complex and full of conflict. Without going into the while cat-person dog-person thing, I liked this story because even though I usually like my stories more catlike, sometimes you need an ocasional floon.
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This story was a floon. Short and cute and amusing and wonderful if you like floons.
Some people like their stories to be cats: funny and complex and full of conflict. Without going into the while cat-person dog-person thing, I liked this story because even though I usually like my stories more catlike, sometimes you need an ocasional floon.
I'm a dog person. Should I have liked this story or not?
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Good story.
The sound was fine. I've heard worse and still enjoyed whatever the story was.
I liked this glimpse into the MomNet. I've always suspected it existed. :D
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I found two elements of the story very interesting, but haven't seen them mentioned here, so here you go!
First, I thought the narrator's intimacy with powerful figures was interesting. The back and forth on MomNet, Calling out the aliens at their first meeting, and eventually becoming an ambassador. It seems that the speaker is very close to the representatives and leaders of earth, but at the same time seems very average. One idea was that the population was such that it does not really require a leading plutocracy. Earth is more like a large neighborhood, making this somewhat post-apocalyptic.
Additionally, I thought the inverted gender roles was interesting, as it was repeated numerous times throughout the story. Female characters in power, references to "househusbands", ect. I thought this was a really interesting aspect of the story, how would a matriarchal society deal with aliens. For me the silliness and relentless positivity is part of the commentary regarding issues of conflict and distrust (or lack thereof, in this case) that is a part of so many alien encounter stories!
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http://www.rathergood.com/cats (http://www.rathergood.com/cats)
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I liked this glimpse into the MomNet. I've always suspected it existed. :D
As someone who once worked for momslikeme.com and is dating someone who used to run an "adult" group for moms... it exists, and it is powerful.
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I liked it: light-hearted, fun and full of clever little twists if you pay attention.
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For me, this story didn't deliver on it's promise. It started on the right track, being sort of cute and cat-like (but not too much), but then did a weird thing at the end, which just didn't work for me.