On Cynics without fathers

[Scattercat]

If I may Cat -- you're rather young to be a "cynical bastard", and a self-confessed one at that :-)

Many thanks for following up with a description of why.

Sure thing.  I do love explaining things.  :-D

Anyway, I think I was born cynical.  My mother likes to tell the story of me at four years old and quite pleased with myself for having worked out how to best make friends.  I approach the group of unknown children.  "Hi!" I say, "I'm Nate, and I have a lot of toys."  Everyone likes the guy with the best toys, right?

Mod: Split from here: http://forum.escapeartists.net/index.php?topic=3457

[deflective]

that's more douche bag than cynic.  kind of the preschool equivalent of parking your bmw close to the front door so that everyone can see it (taking up two spaces to do it) and holding a woman's hand too long when you meet to make sure she looks down and sees your watch.

you can broadly interpret any behaviour that plays to a negative side of human nature as cynical but there usually a more accurate description.  for instance, my post is more 'forum asshole' than 'forum cynic.'

[Scattercat]

Well, obv. it didn't work.  I was four.  You can't get genius from four-year-olds most of the time.  Adult versions of the behavior are obviously people who didn't progress past four years old...

[deflective]

i wasn't trying to take four year old Scattercat to task, just saying that it doesn't really come off as 'cynical' as such.

[Scattercat]

Well, given that I was there and more or less remember my own motivations, perhaps you could take my word for it that I was attempting to manipulate what I perceived as the rules of social interaction instead of being a pompous douchebag? 

[deflective]

if we look into the heads of people that act stereotypically douchey i wouldn't be surprised to find out that that's exactly what some of us believe.  there can be odd paths from motivation to behaviour but from the outside that all comes out in the wash.  it's one of the necessary results of the way consciousness works: the image we build of ourselves is based on our intentions, the image we build of other people is based on their behaviour.

this is a reason why a story that we tell about ourselves may not paint the image we expect, we concentrate on the story's motivations but other people may focus on behaviour.  in a similar vein, someone being an ass and picking at your story may actually be acting with the intention of expanding your point of view and helping you to avoid misrepresenting yourself.

whether or not the behaviour alone is reason enough to label them an ass or if there needs to be the accompanying intentions as well isn't a question i'm really ready to tackle.  christian scholars have debated a similar question for centuries.

[Swamp]

OK, guys, I think both points have been made.