Hi. I'm Tony Marmot. It's a fact: The average woodchuck uses practically none of his or her full chucking capacity.
But with my new seminar, "CHUCK YOU! YOU WOOD IF YOU COULD!" any rodent -- even you! -- can become a fully actualized chucking machine.
Don't believe it? Call now for a free video! You'll see how thousands of mere groundhogs, who never chucked even a sapling in their entire lives, learned the skills they needed to raze entire forests to the ground in weeks. What does that mean for you? More flatland! Prime real estate, my furry little friend.
So quit staring at your shadow. Climb out of your hole and start chucking today!
Tony Marmot's Woodchucking Success Seminars:
"Because if you're not chucking others, you're chucked."