I loved how the scope of this story was so limited to just a few minutes, one pair of eyes, one event -- and the narrator leads us through it in effectively real time. It really let me immerse myself in the protagonist's thoughts and feelings around a single point in time.
It reminds me a little, in that way, of "The Very Pulse of The Machine."
The narration was ... ace. I don't think I've heard this guy before but I hope you find reasons to bring him in again!
This story got me thinking about the heroic, stoic version of hypermasulinity shown here -- "I'm not a complainer, not me."
If he were a hero in a cape, I'd think, he's just a hero -- he's supposed to be unattainable. But this guy's a regular Joe -- I feel invited to compare him to the men in my life ("now there's a real man.") And I start to think about how this character's adopting this version of manhood is a part and parcel of the unjust, class-divided, off-brand-medical-miracle, defective-home-brew-superman-suit future the author some how manages to portray so thoroughly in just a few words. And I love it.
Thanks, author and EP! :-)