Author Topic: Weirdest thing just happened...  (Read 5393 times)

Thaurismunths

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on: December 25, 2007, 05:32:19 AM
About half an hour ago a chubby guy in a red suit landed on my roof.
He forced his way in the apartment while Shwankie and I were watching Stardust. Laughing maniacally he shoved some gaudy boxes under our yule tree, nailed a couple of stuffed socks to the wall, then bolted out the door.
We're both too stuffed and inebriated to bother unwrapping them now, but we'll tell you about them in the morning.
Anyone else have a similar experience?

How do you fight a bully that can un-make history?


Russell Nash

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Reply #1 on: December 25, 2007, 01:09:20 PM
About half an hour ago a chubby guy in a red suit landed on my roof.
He forced his way in the apartment while Shwankie and I were watching Stardust. Laughing maniacally he shoved some gaudy boxes under our yule tree, nailed a couple of stuffed socks to the wall, then bolted out the door.
We're both too stuffed and inebriated to bother unwrapping them now, but we'll tell you about them in the morning.
Anyone else have a similar experience?

Yeah, some fat dude broke the door to our balcony and left the same kind of stuff.  Earlier in the night he broke into my mother-in-law's place and set the tree on fire.  All these little candles all over it.



Thaurismunths

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Reply #2 on: December 25, 2007, 03:24:46 PM
I'm not sure what the fat man's plan is, but he sure has taste.
The half I opened was full of choice edibles (mostly dutch confections I remember having as a child), tickets to "Too Much Light Makes The Baby Blind", some Drew Estate cigars, a Japanese loose-leaf tea cup, a book of Robert Frost poems, and most importantly a marzipan pig.

How do you fight a bully that can un-make history?


BrandtPileggi

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Reply #3 on: December 25, 2007, 05:27:12 PM
Dude! That guy came over herelast night, but my flue was closed. He was scared of the dogs I guess so he kept beating on the door calling my fiance a Ho. I went down to see what the hell was going on while my girl called the cops. Apperently one of the neighbors did too because just before I had to plow my fist through the haze of bad moonshine and desperation, the police were there. After they took all of our statements down, they arrested him for 4 billion counts of B&E and underaged bestiality (they found 9 adolescent reindeer hiding in my back yard).



Russell Nash

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Reply #4 on: December 25, 2007, 09:50:09 PM
He brought the kids some kicking wood toys, but he didn't leave shit for me.  All I got was a broken balcony door.



Alasdair5000

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Reply #5 on: December 25, 2007, 10:48:06 PM
About half an hour ago a chubby guy in a red suit landed on my roof.
He forced his way in the apartment while Shwankie and I were watching Stardust. Laughing maniacally he shoved some gaudy boxes under our yule tree, nailed a couple of stuffed socks to the wall, then bolted out the door.
We're both too stuffed and inebriated to bother unwrapping them now, but we'll tell you about them in the morning.
Anyone else have a similar experience?

Yeah, some fat dude broke the door to our balcony and left the same kind of stuff.  Earlier in the night he broke into my mother-in-law's place and set the tree on fire.  All these little candles all over it.

Umm, this is happening here too.  And the guy obviously has good intel as he knows what my wife and I like to a TEE.

The Doctor Who Encyclopedia.
A webcam
A TARDIS USB hub
The new KT Tunstall album

This guy's good...



FamilyGuy

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Reply #6 on: December 26, 2007, 02:21:14 AM
I got EP Collections 1-5   ;D


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Planish

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Reply #7 on: December 26, 2007, 04:04:23 AM
My experience was slightly different. He wasn't wearing red and he had a different vehicle.
*** Shaggy dog story alert ***

About a week before the more recent rash of home invasions, I was on my third of three 12-hour night shifts (8 pm to 8 am) in a row. During the afternoon and evening the was an impressive amount of blowing snow. My commute is only about 10 km, but it passes through an open area, and the driveway to my workplace had many small drifts across it. I'm in a Ford Taurus station wagon, so the wind isn't too bad for driving but there was this one final huge drift, and I opted for the ramming speed. I made it through okay and I'm in the parking lot (after the wipers cleared away the snow that flew up over the hood and windshield) and at that point I realized that my Battery Warning light came on and I lost power steering at the same time. This is not good, I thought, but I managed to make it the last hundred feet to a parking space. I went in, and worked my shift. When the security guard's relief showed up at midnight, he got stuck because he had some kind of air dam across the front of his car. Both guards ended up staying the night.

In the morning, the other employees started showing up, and one of them got the front-end loader out and cleared the driveway, so I was able to get out.

Before I started the car up, I checked under the hood and saw that the serpentine belt had come off. Presumably a bit of ice or snow crust got caught in the belt when I rammed the drift, and made it jump off. I was able to get the belt out and run the car long enough to cross the parking lot and drive it into the large heated garage, which also had a number of tools. I found the diagram for the belt installation on a sticker under the hood. It goes around wheels for the crankshaft, the alternator, the AC, the water pump, an idler wheel, and a tensioner wheel. Fine, except there was no hint about how to move the tensioner wheel to let me slip the belt back on. The other guys knew that it should be easy, but could not remember exactly how to do it. I spent 3 hour messing with stuff, bent over the fender, making my back sore, etc. At one point I had to push it forward a few few so that one of the other guys could get out around me with a tracked vehicle that has a bucket lift. Also not good for my back. I eventually realized that this is the sort of thing I should be able to google for, and find on a DIY discussion forum. Which I did. I went back out, found a 1/2 inch wrench and taped it to a extender pipe, turned a bolt on the tensioner wheel clockwise to give the belt some slack, and finished up in 5 minutes. Then I spent another 15 minutes digging in the wet muddy oily crap looking for a plastic cap that somehow got knocked off of a mysterious tube and went tinkling alongside the engine ... somewhere. I found it under the car, put it on, washed up a bit, and drove home.

By then, it was about 11:30 AM, and I realized that the foot of wet snow on most of my driveway was going to freeze later that night, and I had to scrape it off before it got rock solid. There I am, with a wide scoop (so I don't have to lift much) trying not to hurt my back, while I deal with it. I just wanted to finish up (probably an hour more of moderately strenuous work) and get to bed. I suppose I could have called a commercial snow plow operator, but they would all have been booked up for hours that day, and I didn't want to have to stay up all day in order to pay them after it was done.

All that was the setup, just to give you an idea of the kind of mood I was in. >:(

Then along comes this older guy, maybe in his 60s, riding an old yellow tractor, wearing a faded fluorescent green wool toque. The hat might even have had "John Deere" written on it, possibly indicative of the alleged deer fetish others have mentioned, if it's the same guy. I live sort of on the outskirts of a small town, with many small farms in the area, so passing farm vehicles are not uncommon. More hay wagons on the road than a Dukes of Hazzard episode. Anyway, he's putt-putting along at about walking speed on the other side of the street. I had never met this guy before, but I nod hello at him because it seemed the neighbourly thing to do.

The next thing I know, he does a U-turn in the street (technically, it's a secondary provincial highway) and drops his front-end loader bucket. I step back, and in two or three minutes, he's got all the snow pushed back, down to the dirt, way better than I could have hoped to do. Then he just waves goodbye, I give him a thumbs-up and a doff of my hat for a thanks, and he heads off up the road again.

That was the best Christmas present I've gotten in many years, a random act of kindness when it was most appreciated.
« Last Edit: December 26, 2007, 04:06:19 AM by Planish »

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Bdoomed

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Reply #8 on: December 26, 2007, 07:43:00 AM
awww that was a heartwarming story :)

well i was raised jewish (keyword raised) but there was a small christmas miracle today.
i work at Coldstone Creamery (ice cream parlor for those who've never heard of it) and our sink has pretty bad water pressure, and it is rare that there is semi-strong water coming out.  well, today, we had very strong water pressure all night long and dishes were easier to do! :) and of course low customer count is allways nice.

and i heard that a fat man in a red suit broke into my cousin's house and put two gifts under their table (no tree).  they are shaken but fine.  maybe next year i'll put up a tree and sit by the fireplace with a net and a shotgun.  ill get that fat man.

speaking of santa, and the previous thread about the chinese plane...
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=17558409
first rule of project santa is you do not talk about project santa.

I'd like to hear my options, so I could weigh them, what do you say?
Five pounds?  Six pounds? Seven pounds?


Listener

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Reply #9 on: December 26, 2007, 05:48:34 PM
Apparently Santa enlisted his friends, our news anchor and weather dude, to pick up our newsroom gift from Hooters.  100 wings, plus celery and fries.

I was gone before they got back.  The last thing I need from a dude I don't even believe in is weight gain.

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Tango Alpha Delta

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Reply #10 on: December 31, 2007, 02:33:13 PM
Okay... back to the main topic:  How was Stardust?

:D

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Thaurismunths

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Reply #11 on: December 31, 2007, 04:14:57 PM
Okay... back to the main topic:  How was Stardust?

:D
Fan-*ucking-Tastic!
We weren't expecting much as it was a kids movie, but it now ranks up there with the Princess Bride. It's quite possibly the only movie I've watched two days in a row since the first Matrix.
The film is cinematicly beautiful, well written, and has some great steam-punk in it. And Robert Deniro has a great part as Capitan Shakespeare.

How do you fight a bully that can un-make history?


Darwinist

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Reply #12 on: January 02, 2008, 12:05:36 AM


well i was raised jewish (keyword raised) but there was a small christmas miracle today.
i work at Coldstone Creamery (ice cream parlor for those who've never heard of it)



Is Coldstone Cremery the place where they sing all the time?  I think they put one up not far from here.

For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.    -  Carl Sagan


Tango Alpha Delta

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Reply #13 on: January 02, 2008, 01:11:24 AM
Okay... back to the main topic:  How was Stardust?

:D
Fan-*ucking-Tastic!
We weren't expecting much as it was a kids movie, but it now ranks up there with the Princess Bride. It's quite possibly the only movie I've watched two days in a row since the first Matrix.
The film is cinematicly beautiful, well written, and has some great steam-punk in it. And Robert Deniro has a great part as Capitan Shakespeare.

My 11-yr-old and I enjoyed Mirrormask, but she didn't seem to know what to make of the Stardust trailer I showed her so excitedly... I am assuming you were confirming "it was a kids movie"?  I have just bumped it to the top of the NetFlix queue, regardless.  :)

And we only just introduced the whole litter to Princess Bride (11, 8, 6, and five... oldest and youngest are girls) with great success.  They didn't stop rhyming for days, and the glittery cape grandma had given them became the Holocaust Cloak.

This Wiki Won't Wrangle Itself!

I finally published my book - Tad's Happy Funtime is on Amazon!


eytanz

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Reply #14 on: January 02, 2008, 08:19:07 AM
Okay... back to the main topic:  How was Stardust?

:D
Fan-*ucking-Tastic!
We weren't expecting much as it was a kids movie, but it now ranks up there with the Princess Bride. It's quite possibly the only movie I've watched two days in a row since the first Matrix.
The film is cinematicly beautiful, well written, and has some great steam-punk in it. And Robert Deniro has a great part as Capitan Shakespeare.

My 11-yr-old and I enjoyed Mirrormask, but she didn't seem to know what to make of the Stardust trailer I showed her so excitedly... I am assuming you were confirming "it was a kids movie"?  I have just bumped it to the top of the NetFlix queue, regardless.  :)

I'd say it's a "family movie", in the proper sense of the word, meaning a movie adults can watch with their kids and everyone will enjoy it. I wouldn't rank it quite as high as "Princess pride", but I think it comes pretty close.



Thaurismunths

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Reply #15 on: January 02, 2008, 05:23:26 PM
My 11-yr-old and I enjoyed Mirrormask, but she didn't seem to know what to make of the Stardust trailer I showed her so excitedly... I am assuming you were confirming "it was a kids movie"?  I have just bumped it to the top of the NetFlix queue, regardless.  :)
Mirrormask? I'll look in to it.
I keep forgetting that I actually enjoy kid and family friendly movies. Since I was old enough to convince my parents to let us rent them I've always gravitated towards R rate movies. I guess I just expect more excitement and depth from them, but that doesn't always mean they're entertaining.

I'd say it's a "family movie", in the proper sense of the word, meaning a movie adults can watch with their kids and everyone will enjoy it. I wouldn't rank it quite as high as "Princess pride", but I think it comes pretty close.
Absolutely, on both counts.

How do you fight a bully that can un-make history?


CammoBlammo

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Reply #16 on: January 02, 2008, 10:25:44 PM
I keep forgetting that I actually enjoy kid and family friendly movies. Since I was old enough to convince my parents to let us rent them I've always gravitated towards R rate movies. I guess I just expect more excitement and depth from them, but that doesn't always mean they're entertaining.

Every movie is different, but I've realised that I really do like sitting down with my daughters and watching a movie we can discuss later. What really excites me is that they'll start drawing illustrations for the stories or even begin to write their own versions of the stories. This is especially heart warming when you see a six year old doing it!

Hopefully one of them will write a blockbuster that will pay for my retirement home. Doesn't look like it's going to happen for me!